foundations. "What will happen?" - questions like this are something very unusual in dreams, but they were echoing in my head all the time. I was wondering, both feared and curious, how will it work. Can my mind do such a gymnastic figure? Making up two different Isabellas was like doing a vault for the first time. You just have to fall. So I started thinking about it like about synchronous jumps and probably it was my biggest mistake. I found myself in an empty Cinema, on my right sat Isabella in dark violet thick jersey, she was silent as a whistle, didn't move as if she was pretending to be some kind of a monument. I turned my head to the left and saw... other Isabella. Other, but dressed the same, similar silent... Maybe they were enchanted? For sure they weren't talking. This silence lasted and lasted, it was becoming unbearable, I swore that I could hear the smallest mosquito in the world, but there just weren't any. Something clearly was wrong with these Isabellas and when they started talking, I knew. They were the same person. Great... But which one of Isabellas have I cloned?
"You!" - I thought I will get my fair amount of curses, but this one wasn't intended for me. Girls didn't see me at all, at least they were acting this way.
This one simple word caused almost cataclysmic reaction of the other Isabella. She freaked out and reacted like a robot, mechanically turned her head to the left and glanced at her lookalike with sight that even the most dangerous basilisk shouldn't be ashamed of. I knew that this won't be an easy dream, but didn't have any idea why. What have I done wrong? The air thickened, I stated that I was probably closest in my life to the feeling perceived milliseconds before the EMP blast. Or moments after. Everything was hurling, especially my thoughts, imaginary water was stoppering my ears, only to hammer them down when robotic-kindred Isabella began screaming.
"What were you thinking! You shouldn't have done this to him! It is all your fault!" - hey, girls, I A-M sitting between you, hello!
"What else should I have done?! It was stronger than me! I couldn't bear it! You would've done it differently?! I doubt it!"
These words changed something, I thought I caught a glimpse of a white light in the eye of Isabella. Again. I looked closer, it was a tear. What the hell?
"No! It wasn't supposed to happen... Remember that I was warned..."
"We were warned"
"Warned not to make close connection with Jeky..."
"Jack"
What the fuck?! Her boyfriend knew me?! How?
Suddenly all the lights have gone out and the cinema screen began to show us some fresh, but shot in black & white, British movie, I recognized Christopher Treehorn, which wasn't so hard as he was playing every character. The faces of our trio were enlighten only with these two colors, emotions become clearer so now I was fully convinced that one Isabella is on the edge of crying and the other on the opposite scale - anger was strong with her. Suddenly the screen showed us bright, almost white scene (stage designer was truly an incredible artist) and for this short moment I felt like I was alone in this theatre. I looked around, it took a while for my eyes to accustom to the grayness that came in after bright light. There wasn't anyone, the Cinema was empty. Was I inside it? Could I say that for sure? It didn't take long before one of Isabellas materialized, followed up by her alter ego. They were again mysteriously silent and were watching the film with engagement. Surprisingly I felt one right and one left hand touching and calmly grabbing my both palms.
"Yeah, and now maybe you too would kiss in front of me? What's next on the menu?" - my amazement of this dream grew bigger with every minute.
But nothing more happened, the film soon ended and when the lights turned on, again there was no one beside me. I quickly stood up and looked over the hall searching for Isabellas. "Please, oh please, one private Isabella would also satisfy me".
Nope. The cinema was empty. When I almost resigned, I heard some voices. I focused my attention on them and instantly recognized The Voice. Of Her. Or Hers. I run towards the source, but when I was closing in, the sound began slightly changing. So I run faster. After a while I didn't hear any voices at all, only a vague buzz. The transformation was complete. It was becoming louder and louder...
Damn, it was the alarm clock in my mobile. Why do I always have to be so fucking far-sighted?
THE TWO TOWELS
The dreams are very often bound to a real life events. As if our minds are trying to shake off everything they needed to analyze during the day. Imagination could be very well existing only to help constructing unbelievable dreams - brain would've not manage to differ which event is plausible and which takes place only in our inner selves. My lately relation with Isabella was a great base to make one of the most pleasuring dreams ever. Good for me, I guess. There is a common belief that dreams are the most subtle form of wandering, like there is some kind of softening filter put on every imagination. Or that never ending possibilities encourage us to make up unbelievable things when sleeping. My experience shows that flying is on the top of human dream creativeness, but of course there are few examples of more unrealistic things. But those are the exceptions. Normally everything that happens to us when sleeping is hardcore real, vivid and treated by our mind as fully plausible and possible, almost touchable. Probably the moment of awakening is crucial, then we realize that it wasn't our life and brain automatically tries to erase what it generated over the night. Pretty stupid, but it's the best way to divide both states. It functioned this way for centuries, so why bother to change working mechanism? The best way to remember a dream is to stay awake with eyes closed for a few minutes. To limit number of impulses that come from the outside world. It is a funny feeling to stay between states of life and dream, but our minds are fully capable of handling both of them. They just have to be trained to do so.
I've never lived with any of my girlfriends, even when we were together for a few months. This idea of living with someone in one condo was just too big for me and I couldn't fully figure out why. Maybe I liked to do everything I want when I was at my place. Maybe I thought that years of homegrown habits would've been unbearable for another person. Maybe I feared how my hair looked in the morning. I have no idea. Even though I was sometimes spending the night at hers places, I've always felt a bit uncomfortable in the mornings, even if we were just laying, eating, kissing, talking and doing other stuff that couples usually do. Would it be better if happening at my place? How the fuck would I know?! Probably I just need some privacy in this world, a place that was fully occupied by me, an emotional stronghold. With Isabella I felt that all of this man-made prejudices were simply archaic, but small particle of me still had its doubts. So I tried to examine and eliminate them in the dream. Unfortunately it only sounded easy.
I opened one of my eyes with the other one covered by the pillow. Okay, this dream could've begun more cozy, but maybe it would bring me the answer that I needed. I felt her presence in the house, but I hand-checked and she wasn't beside me and I didn't hear if anyone was in the bathroom. Kitchen? Nope, I saw that no one was there neither. This was weird, I felt her scent, she must've been here not so long ago. I think we went to bed together the night before and even few evenings before that. So what's all about this hide & seek game? Suddenly my brain went fully lucid. The world became sharper. Curiosity grew bigger.
I stood up, looked around. There was a little piece of paper on the table. I took and read it.
"I don't know, what we have. If I'm ready. I'll go now. Maybe this would solve my emotional puzzle." - and another small mystery stayed in the past.
I sat on a couch with this paper in my hand and was constantly looking at it. I thought that I fully understand what she meant, but with every second my confidence was weakening and it eventually evaporated. I was beginning to question everything, but quickly shook it off of my head. If only I had remembered that having doubts at the beginning is always a bad sign. Or rather a forewarning.
I went to the bathroom and the presence of Isabella become even more obvious. I saw two white towels near the tub and weird sketches o
n my mirror above the washstand. Majority of its surface was covered with black paint or ink and there was only clean place left in the middle. Perfectly fitting my silhouette. Eerie enough, I began to lose the grip, the things around me started to blur out, my thoughts tried to float away, only my reflection stayed sharp as a machete. Not some used, homemade blade - it was much more focused that anything I saw in my life. It helped me to maintain dreaming, but once I did it, I didn't have the courage to check, if black markings were still on the mirror. I leant my hands on the basin and heavily hung down my head stretching my shoulders. "On the shoulders of the minion", I thought. Then, I heard knocking on the doors. A special knocking, by using not only the forefinger, but whole palm. It could have been only one person. It’s gotta be.
I walked to the doorway and noticed that there was no light in the spy-hole, surely someone was lurking from the outside. "Am I ready to hear what she's gonna say?" - this thought clutched into my mind when key clicked in the lock.
Isabella stood there in the darkness of the staircase, in a remorseful pose. The light of the condo softly shone