"But it is the truth," he said. "Cristina, why did you run away like that? Why didn't you answer any of my messages or calls?"
She held up a hand. "You first," she said. "What are you doing in Los Angeles?"
He rested his chin on his folded arms. "After you left, I couldn't stay. Everything reminded me of you. I was on leave from the Scholomance. We were going to spend the summer together. Then you were gone. One minute you were in my life, and then you were ripped out of it. I was lost. I went back to study but I thought only of you."
"You had Jaime," she said in a hard voice.
"No one has Jaime," he said. "You think he didn't panic when you left? The two of you were supposed to be parabatai."
"I think he'll live." Cristina could hear her own voice, cold and small; it seemed to have frozen down to a tiny sliver of ice.
He was silent for a moment. "Reports were coming through to the Scholomance from L.A.," he said. "Flares of necromantic magic. Your friend Emma's efforts to investigate the deaths of her parents. The Clave thought she was making a fuss about nothing, that it was clear Sebastian had killed her parents but she wouldn't accept it. I thought she might be right, though. I came out here to look into it, and my first day, I went to the Shadow Market. Look, it's a long story--I found my way to Wells's house--"
"Where you decided it was a good idea to shoot a fellow Nephilim with a crossbow?"
"I didn't know they were Shadowhunters! I thought they were murderers-- I wasn't shooting to kill--"
"No manches," Cristina said bluntly. "You should have stayed and told them you were Nephilim. Those arrows were poisoned. Julian nearly died."
"I gathered that." Diego looked rueful. "The arrows weren't poisoned by me. If I'd had any idea, I would have stayed. The weapons I bought at the Shadow Market must have been tainted without my knowing."
"Well, what were you doing buying weapons there anyway? Why didn't you come to the Institute?" Cristina demanded.
"I did," Diego said, flattening her with surprise. "I came looking for Arthur Blackthorn. I found him in the Sanctuary. I tried to tell him who I was, why I was here. He told me the damnation of the Blackthorns was their own private business, that they didn't want any interference, and that if I knew what was good for me I'd get out of town before everything burned."
"He said that?" Cristina sat up in astonishment.
"I realized I wasn't welcome here. I thought, even, that the Blackthorns might be involved in the necromancy somehow."
"They would never--!"
"Well, you can say that. You know them. I didn't know them. All I knew was that the head of the Institute had told me to go away, but I couldn't because you were here. Maybe in danger, maybe even in danger from the Blackthorns. I had to get weapons at the Market because I was afraid that if I went to any of the usual weapons caches it would be found out that I was still here. Look, Cristina, I am not a liar--"
"You don't lie?" Cristina demanded. "You want to know why I left home, Diego? In May we were in San Miguel de Allende. I'd gone to the Jardin, and when I came back, you and Jaime were sitting up on the terrace. I was coming through the courtyard; I could hear your voices very clearly. You didn't know I was there."
Diego looked puzzled. "I don't . . ."
"I heard him talking to you about how the wrong branch of the Rosales family was in power. It should have been you. He was talking about the plan he had. Surely you remember. The one where you would marry me, and he would become my parabatai, and together you would use your influence over me and my mother to eject her from her position as head of the D.F. Institute, and then you would take over. He said you had the easy job, marrying me, because you could leave me someday. Becoming parabatai means you're stuck with them forever. I remember him saying that."
"Cristina . . ." Diego had gone pale. "That's why you left that night. It wasn't because your mother was sick and needed you at the Institute in the city."
"I was the one who was sick," Cristina spat. "You broke my heart, Diego, you and your brother. I don't know what's worse, losing your best friend or losing the boy you're in love with, but I can tell you that it was like you both died for me that day. That's why I don't pick up your calls or messages. You don't take calls from a dead boy."
"And what about Jaime?" Something flared in his eyes. "What about his calls?"
"He never has called," said Cristina, and almost took pleasure in the look of shock on his face. "Maybe he has better sense than you."
"Jaime? Jaime?" Diego was on his feet now. A vein in his temple throbbed. "I remember that day, Cristina. Jaime was drunk and he was babbling. Did you hear me say anything or did you only hear him?"
Cristina forced herself to think back. In memory it seemed like a cacophony of voices. But . . . "I only heard Jaime," she said. "I didn't hear you say a word. Not to defend me. Not to say anything."
"There was no point talking to Jaime when he was like that," Diego said bitterly. "I let him talk. I shouldn't have. I had no interest in his plan. I loved you. I wanted to go far away with you. He is my brother, but he is-- He was born with something missing, I think, some piece of his heart where compassion lives."
"He was going to be my parabatai," said Cristina. "I was going to be tied to him forever. And you weren't going to say anything to me? Do anything to stop it?"
"I was," Diego protested. "Jaime had planned to go to Idris. I was waiting for him to leave. I needed to speak to you when he wasn't there."
She shook her head. "You shouldn't have waited."
"Cristina." He came toward her, his hands outstretched. "Please, if you don't believe anything else, believe me that I have always loved you. Do you really think I have lied to you since we were children? Since the first time I ever kissed you and you ran away laughing? I was ten years old--do you really think that was some kind of plan?"
She didn't reach for his hands. "But Jaime," she said. "I've known him just as long. He was always my friend. But he wasn't, was he? He said things no friend would say, and you knew he was using me, and you said not a word."
"I was going to tell you--"
"Intentions are nothing," Cristina said. She had thought she would feel some relief, finally telling Diego why she hated him, finally unburdening the knowledge of what she had heard. Finally severing the thread. But it didn't feel severed. She could feel the bond connecting them, as she had when she'd blacked out in the crashing car outside the Institute and woken up with Diego holding her. He'd been whispering in her ear that she would be all right, that she was his Cristina, she was strong. And it had felt for a moment as if the past months had been a dream, and she was home.
"I must stay here," Diego said. "These killings, the Followers, they are too important. I am a Centurion; I cannot abandon a mission. But I do not need to remain at the Institute. If you want me to go away, I will."
Cristina opened her mouth. But before she could speak, her phone buzzed. It was a message from Emma. STOP MAKING OUT WITH PERFECT DIEGO AND GET TO THE COMPUTER ROOM, WE NEED YOU.
Cristina rolled her eyes and shoved the phone back in her pocket. "We'd better go."
The sky outside the Institute had turned the color of what was very late night or very early morning, depending on your point of view. It had always reminded Julian of blue cellophane or watercolor: the intense blue of evening turned translucent by the imminent arrival of the sun.
The inhabitants of the Institute--all but Arthur, who slept on soundly in his attic--had gathered in the computer room. Ty had brought papers and books from the library, and the others were going through them. Tavvy was curled up asleep in the corner. Piles of empty pizza boxes from Nightshade's were stacked on the table. Emma didn't even remember them being delivered, but most of them had been eaten. Mark was busy glaring at Cristina and Diego, though Diego didn't seem to notice. He didn't seem to notice Drusilla staring at him with saucer eyes either. He didn't notice much, Julian thought uncharitably. Maybe being ridiculously good-looking was more time-
consuming than it seemed.
Emma had finished telling the story of the way she and Cristina had tracked down Sterling and the things he had told them on the car ride home. Ty had been taking notes with a pencil, a second pencil stuck behind his ear. His black hair was ruffled up like a cat's fur. Julian remembered when Ty had been young enough that he could reach out and smooth down his younger brother's hair when it got too messy. Something in him ached at the recollection.
"So," Ty said now, turning to Diego and Cristina, who was sitting beside Diego. She was barefoot, one of her pant legs rolled up and her calf bound with bandages. Every once in a while she would shoot Diego a look out of the corner of her eye that was half suspicion, half relief--that he'd helped her? That he was there at all? Julian wasn't sure. "You're a Centurion?"
"I studied at the Scholomance," said Diego. "I was the youngest aspirant ever to become a Centurion."
Everyone looked impressed except Mark. Even Ty. "That's like being a detective, isn't it?" he said. "You investigate for the Clave?"
"That is one of the things we do," said Diego. "We stand outside the Law that precludes Shadowhunters from involving themselves in issues that relate to faeries."
"The Clave can make that exception for any Shadowhunter, though, in exigent cases," said Julian. "Why was Diana told we couldn't investigate? Why did they send you?"
"It was judged that your family, with your connection to the Fair Folk, would not be able to objectively investigate a series of murders where some of the victims were faeries."
"That is entirely unreasonable," Mark said, his eyes flashing.
"Is it?" Diego glanced around. "From all I have heard and seen, you appear to have mounted a secret investigation into this issue, telling the Clave nothing about it. You have compiled evidence that you have not shared. You have discovered a murderous cult operating in secret. . . ."
"You make it sound so shady," Emma said. "So far all you've done is show up in L.A. and shoot another Shadowhunter."
Diego glanced over at Julian. "It's mostly healed," Julian said. "Mostly."
"I bet you didn't report that to the Scholomance," said Emma. "Did you, Perfect Diego?"
"I have reported nothing to the Scholomance," Diego said. "Not since I found out Cristina was involved in this as well. I would never hurt her."
Cristina blushed furiously.
"You're a Centurion," Ty said. "You have vows--"
"Vows of friendship and love are stronger," said Diego.
Drusilla looked at him with cartoon hearts in her eyes. "That's beautiful."
Mark rolled his eyes. He was clearly not a member of the Perfect Diego Appreciation Society.
"That's very touching," said Emma. "Now talk. What do you know?"
Julian glanced at her. She seemed like Emma, ordinary Emma, sharp and encouraging and tough and normal. She even smiled at him quickly before turning her attention back to Diego. Julian listened, half his brain recording Diego's story. The other half was in chaos.
For the past five years he had walked a narrow rockway above the ocean, falling away sheer on either side to a boiling cauldron. He had kept his balance by keeping his secrets.
Mark had forgiven him. But it wasn't just Mark he'd lied to. Lying to your parabatai . . . It wasn't forbidden, but most parabatai didn't. They didn't need or want to conceal things. That he'd concealed so much from Emma must have shocked her. He gazed at her face covertly, trying to read the signs of shock or anger. But he could tell nothing; her face was maddeningly unreadable as Diego launched into his story.
When Diego explained that he had come to the Institute when he arrived in Los Angeles, and that Uncle Arthur had chased him off, telling him he didn't want non-Blackthorns interfering in Blackthorn problems, Livvy raised a questioning hand. "Why would he do that?" she said. "Uncle Arthur doesn't like strangers, but he's not a liar."
Emma glanced away from her. Julian felt his stomach tighten. His secrets, still a burden.
"A lot of Shadowhunters of the older generation don't trust Centurions," he said. "The Scholomance was closed in 1872, and Centurions no longer trained. You know how adults are about things they didn't grow up with."
Livvy shrugged, looking mildly placated. Ty was scribbling in his notebook. "Where did you go after that, Diego?"
"He met Johnny Rook," said Cristina. "And Rook tipped him off about the Sepulchre, just like he did with Emma."
"I went there immediately," Diego said. "I'd been waiting days in the alleys behind the bar." His eyes flicked to Cristina. Julian wondered with a sort of distant cynicism if it was as obvious to everyone else as it was to him that Diego had done everything he did because of Cristina--that if he hadn't been in a panic over her welfare, it was unlikely he would have rushed to the Sepulchre and spent days watching the place to see what would happen. "Then I heard a girl screaming."
Emma sat up straight. "We didn't hear that."
"I think it was before you arrived," said Diego. "I followed the sound and saw a group of Followers, including Belinda--though I didn't know who they were then--attacking a girl. Slapping her, spitting on her. There were chalk protective circles drawn on the ground. I saw that symbol--the lines of water under the sign for fire. I had seen it at the Market. An old, old sign for resurgence."
"Resurgence," echoed Ty. "Necromancy?"
Diego nodded. "I fought off the Followers, but the girl got away. Ran to her car."
"That was Ava?" Emma guessed.
"Yes. She saw me and raced off. I followed her to her house, managed to convince her to tell me everything she knew about the Midnight Theater, the Followers, the Lottery. It wasn't much, but I learned that she had been chosen by the Lottery. That she had been the one who killed Stanley Wells, knowing that if she didn't, she would be tortured and killed herself."
"She told you everything?" Livvy said in amazement. "But they're sworn to secrecy."
He shrugged. "I don't know why she took me into her confidence--"
"Seriously, dude?" Emma said. "Do you not own any mirrors?"
"Emma!" hissed Cristina.
"She'd murdered him a few days before. She was already torn apart by guilt. She'd shown up in the alley because she wanted to see his body. She said an odd thing about the chalk circles--that they were useless, there to mislead. Very little she was saying made sense." He frowned. "I told her I would protect her. I slept on her porch. The next day she demanded I leave. She said she wished to be with the Guardian and the other Followers. That it was her place. She insisted I go, so I went. I returned to the Market, bought weaponry from Johnny Rook. When I came back to Ava's that night, she was dead. She had been choked and drowned in the pool, her hand sliced off."
"I don't understand what's going on with the hands," said Emma. "Ava was missing one hand and was killed; Belinda was missing a hand but they let her live, and she cut off both Sterling's hands after he died."
"Maybe they're proof to the Guardian that someone's dead," said Livvy. "Like the Huntsman bringing back Snow White's heart in a box."
"Or maybe they're part of the spell," said Diego, with a frown. "Ava and Belinda were missing their dominant hands--perhaps Belinda didn't know which was Sterling's, so she took both."
"A piece of the killer to go with the sacrifice?" Julian said. "We're going to need to dig more deeply into the necromancy section of the library."
"Yes," said Diego. "I wished I had access to your library after I found Ava Leigh dead. I had failed in my duty to protect a mundane who needed my help. I swore I would find out who had done it. I waited on her roof--"
"Yeah, we know what happened," Julian said. "I'll remember it every time I have a twinge in my side during cold weather."
Diego inclined his head. "I'm very sorry about that."
"I want to know what happened next," Ty said, still scribbling away in his elegant, incomprehensible handwriting. Julian had always thought it looked like cat footprints dancing across a page. His slim, long fingers already had pe
ncil lead on them. "You found out Sterling was the next one chosen and followed him?"
"Yes," Diego said. "And I saw you were trying to protect him. I didn't understand why. I am sorry, but after what Arthur said to me, I suspected you all. I knew I should turn you in to the Clave, but I couldn't do it." He looked at Cristina, and then away. "I was outside the bar tonight hoping to stop Sterling, but I admit I also wanted your side of the story. Now I have it. I am glad I was wrong about your involvement."
"You should be," muttered Mark.
Diego sat back. "So maybe now you tell me what you know. It would only be fair."
Julian was relieved when Mark took point on the summary. He was scrupulous about the details, even the bargain with the faeries over his own fate, and the results of his presence at the Institute.
"Blackthorn blood," Diego said thoughtfully when Mark was done. "That is interesting. I would have guessed the Carstairs had more relevance to these spells, given the deaths five years ago."
"Emma's parents, you mean," said Julian. He remembered them, their laughing eyes and their love for Emma. They could never be just "the deaths" to him.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tavvy slide off the armchair where he'd been curled up. Quietly he went to the door and slipped out. He must be exhausted; he'd probably been waiting for Julian to put him to bed. Julian felt a pang for his smallest brother, so often trapped in rooms full of older people talking about blood and death.
"Yes," said Diego. "One of the questions I have had has been the fact that they were killed five years ago, and then there were no more killings until this last year. Why such a gap in time?"
"We thought maybe the spell required it," Livvy said, and yawned. She looked exhausted, dark shadows under her eyes. They all did.
"That is another thing: In the car, Sterling said it didn't matter what kind of creature they killed, human or faerie--even Nephilim, if we count the Carstairs murders."
Cristina said, "He said they couldn't murder werewolves or warlocks--"
"I imagine they were staying away from creatures protected by the Accords," said Julian. "It would have drawn attention. Our attention."
"Yes," said Diego. "But otherwise, for it not to matter what kind of victim they chose? Human or faerie, male or female, old or young? Sacrificial magic requires commonalities among the victims--all those with the Sight, all virgins, or all with a certain type of blood. Here it seems random."