It saddened Jade to know that Ellie couldn’t admit her true feelings. Because the truth was, Ellie and Chris would be perfect together. It’s like they were meant for each other. They were both gorgeous, both focused, both academic whiz kids, both awesome surfers—not to mention that for the past year Chris hadn’t really dated anyone. And it seemed like he was starting to come around a little more again
Jade loved a good project—especially when it involved helping someone. And if nothing else happened this semester, she was determined to see to it that Chris and Ellie finally got together.
chapter seven
Anne stood in front of her full-length mirror, contemplating. If this were the first day of school in Connecticut, she would be dressed in her usual school uniform of white blouse, plaid skirt, and navy blazer, and she would’ve been out the door by now, anxious to see her friends and catch up on everything that had happened over the summer.
But Laguna Beach was like another planet compared to Greenwich, and not only did she not have any friends to meet up with, but she had no idea what the “unofficial” school uniform was. Because even though Laguna Beach High was a public school with an open dress code policy, there was still a social dress code that everyone adhered to. All schools were the same in that way. They all had an understood rule of what was acceptable and cool versus what would immediately tag you as a total dork and a complete outsider.
Her goal was simple—don’t try to make a fashion statement, just blend in. But in order to blend you had to know the code, and Anne was completely clueless. The only people she knew here were her dad, who called daily but had yet to put in an appearance (it was getting to the point where Anne wondered if her parents hadn’t just divorced each other, but also her); Jake, who lived in nothing but board shorts and seemed to have a permanent surfboard leash attached to his ankle; and Christina, who turned out not to be her dad’s girlfriend, like she’d thought, but instead his housekeeper, who had a very limited command of English and didn’t seem overly interested in fashion.
But maybe that isn’t fair, Anne thought, because who gets dressed up to scrub a toilet and mop a floor?
Anne opened her door a crack and called out, “Christina?”
“Sí?” Anne could hear her hurrying down the hall.
“Hi. I mean, um, buenos dias.” God, she’d taken two years of Spanish and where had it gotten her? “Is this okay?” she asked, pointing at her outfit and shrugging her shoulders up and down dramatically, hoping Christina would understand that she was asking a question.
“Sí. Muy bonita.” She nodded, smiling.
“Bonita? That’s good, right?” Anne asked, straining to recall some basic vocabulary.
“Sí, very beautiful.” Christina smiled and nodded, before heading back down the hall so she could get back to doing the dishes and watching her novelas on the small TV in the kitchen.
Anne looked in the mirror skeptically. Christina seemed sincere, but then again her dad was paying her. Was it possible she was just being nice? Was it possible she thought Anne was needy, spoiled, insecure, and ridiculous?
Yes, it was definitely possible.
“Hey! Aren’t you ready, yet?” Jake asked, knocking on her door.
“Just a minute,” Anne yelled. Ugh, Jake again. She was so over him. And why did he have to take her to school anyway? He should just leave me the keys and go send faxes and run errands or whatever he does for my dad, she thought.
“You’re seriously running late. And FYI, the big dogs at Laguna Beach High don’t go for that. And I should know. I was suspended twice,” he yelled through the thick wood of her bedroom door, as though he was actually proud of that.
“Fine, I’m ready,” she said, throwing her door open and facing him.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” he asked, eyes going wide.
“Yeah? Why? What’s wrong with it?” The way he was looking at her made her feel completely paranoid.
“Nothing. You look … really nice,” he said, his face turning slightly red as he quickly turned and headed for the front door.
“I think it’s time you let me drive,” Anne said, reaching for the keys in his hand.
“Not this again.” He shook his head and switched the keys to his other hand.
“Come on, Jake. How else am I gonna learn my way around?” she whined.
“By paying attention. Now come on. Get in. We’ve got fifteen minutes before your bell rings.”
Jake pulled up to the curb in front of the administration office. “Okay, just go into the office there, introduce yourself, and they’ll tell you where to go next.”
“Gee thanks, Mom,” she said, smiling and shutting the door between them.
“Call if you need anything. Otherwise I’ll see ya around three fifteen,” he told her as he put the convertible top down.
“Aren’t you gonna give me my lunch money?” she asked.
“Do you need some?” He reached into his pocket.
She shook her head and laughed. “I was joking. See ya later,” she called over her shoulder and headed toward the office, trying to look confident on the outside so no one would know about all the trembling on the inside.
The office lady was pretty nice, and after getting detailed directions to her classroom Anne was walking across campus when she could have sworn she heard someone call her name. I’m losing it, she thought. No one here knows me.
“Anne! Over here.”
No, that was definitely someone calling her. She turned to see some total hottie smiling and waving. And after standing and squinting at him for just a little too long, she realized it was that surfer guy, Chris, who was talking to Jake on the beach yesterday.
“Come ’ere,” he called.
Anne shyly approached him, noticing he was surrounded by a bunch of people, all dressed far more casually than her in surf tees, shorts, and flip-flops (the guys), or camis with minis or lowcut jeans and flip-flops (the girls). By the time she was standing in front of them in her dark-rinse designer jeans, black stiletto boots, and form-fitting, jewel-neck black cashmere sweater, she felt completely out of place and like a major dork. She’d gotten it so wrong she looked more like a teacher than a student.
“I almost didn’t recognize you without your surfboard,” she said, smiling and trying to sound confident and breezy, despite the fact that everyone was staring at her.
Chris smiled and put his arm loosely around her, like they’d been friends forever. Normally Anne would be creeped out by that. She couldn’t stand overly confident guys who knew they were hot and just assumed all girls wanted to be wrapped not just in their presence, but also in their arms. But it was different with Chris. She could tell he was just genuinely nice, and somehow his arm felt oddly comforting.
“You guys, this is Anne. She just moved here from New York,” he said.
“Connecticut,” she corrected him.
“The East Coast.” He laughed. “So, this is Jade, Ben, Hunter, and that’s Ellie over there.” He pointed to a very pretty blond girl, who had just walked up.
“Who’s this?” Ellie asked, stopping to look Anne over from head to toe.
“Anne. She’s new.”
Ellie smiled but Anne noticed it was only perfunctory. And there was a big difference between being polite and being real.
“How do you two know each other?” Ellie asked, still staring at Anne.
“We met on the beach. She’s a friend of Jake’s,” he said.
Anne just stood there, wishing he hadn’t said she was “friends” with Jake. She really thought of him more as a nuisance.
“Oh, Jake’s so cool. How do you know him?” asked the girl Anne thought was named Jade.
“He works for my dad.” She shrugged.
“Oh my God, then you live right down the street from Ellie, Chris, and our friend Lola, who’s not here yet. Oh, and right down the hill from me!”
Anne looked at Jade and her huge friendly smile. She seemed to be truly hap
py about that. Then Anne looked over at Ellie, who seemed a lot less so.
“Do you surf?” Ellie asked, shifting her backpack to her other shoulder and giving Anne a look she couldn’t quite define.
“No. Actually I’m really into diving. I’d just made captain at my old school, but then—” She stopped. Oh God, what was she doing? Nobody wanted to hear her sob story. “Anyway, I’ve gone boogie boarding, but no, I’ve never surfed.” She shrugged.
“Body boarding. No one says ‘boogie.’ And it’s not really the same thing, is it?” Ellie said, rolling her eyes.
Anne looked down at the ground, noticing how everyone had gone quiet. Great, just five minutes into the school day, and it’s already a disaster. She felt completely homesick.
“What class do you have now?” Jade asked, breaking the silence.
“Um, AP English,” Anne said, looking at her schedule for confirmation, even though she’d already memorized it.
“Ellie has AP English, too. Maybe she could show you where it is?” Jade said, giving Ellie a meaningful look.
“Sorry. I would walk you, but I have to stop somewhere first and I don’t want to make you late,” Ellie said, looking first at Jade and then at Anne.
“I’ll show you,” Chris volunteered.
“That’s okay; I’m sure I can find it,” Anne said, turning to leave, anxious to get away from Ellie.
“No worries. It’s on my way,” he insisted.
And even though he didn’t slip his arm around her, by the look on Ellie’s face, he may as well have.
chapter eight
Ellie stood in front of the bathroom mirror, gripping the sink and staring at her reflection. What was wrong with her? She’d acted so awful toward that new girl, but even when she’d realized how evil she was being, she’d been completely unable to stop. It’s like there was this little voice in her head whispering, “Lighten up!” and “What’s your problem?” But somehow she managed to ignore it, forging right ahead with the dirty looks, snide comments, and just overall brattiness.
Turning on the faucet, she let the cool water fall against her upturned wrists, closing her eyes until she began to feel herself grow calmer. She remembered when her mom had taught her this trick years ago. It was right after she was diagnosed with cancer, and Ellie would often find herself getting stressed out and panicked. And now, all these years later, she still relied on it to soothe herself.
Cupping her hands under the spray, she brought them to her face, splashing the water against her eyes, cheeks, and forehead, and letting it drip down her neck until her sweater grew damp. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, face glistening and wet, and then she reached for a paper towel, patted herself dry, and smoothed her long blond hair back into its usual ponytail.
As she headed out of the bathroom and toward class, she vowed to be nicer to Anne. After all, it was ridiculous and rude not to be. Ellie knew she was pretty, popular, and smart, so there was really no reason to feel so threatened by some new girl.
Except for maybe the way Chris had looked at her.
Sliding onto her usual front row seat, Ellie opened her backpack and retrieved her new notebook and pens. She secretly loved the first day of school, with all the newly sharpened pencils and clean notebooks full of freshly lined paper. There’s something so hopeful about the first day of anything, she thought.
Then, looking up just as the bell rang, she saw Lola charging through the door. Then she glanced nervously at Mr. Campbell, who was already standing at his podium, ready to take roll.
“Welcome, Lola,” he said. “So glad you could join us.” He smiled. Mr. Campbell taught all the Honors English classes, so he, Lola, and Ellie had a history together.
“I had one foot in the door before the bell actually started ringing. So technically this is not a tardy,” Lola said, smiling and catching her breath.
She slipped into the same seat she’d had for the last two years—the one in the second row, right behind Ellie. “Did I miss anything?” she whispered, poking Ellie in the shoulder.
Ellie turned and smiled, noticing her hair was back in its ponytail and her sweater was once again covering her tiny top. Lolita was gone for now. “Only the new girl,” Ellie told her, turning and nodding toward Anne, who was sitting in the far corner.
“The blond one?” Lola asked, craning her neck to get a better look. “In the black sweater and jeans?”
“Yeah,” Ellie said, rolling her eyes despite her recent pledge to be nice.
“She’s really pretty Have you talked to her?” Lola asked.
“A little.” Ellie shrugged, suddenly wishing she hadn’t mentioned her now that Lola was so curious.
“Is she nice?”
Ellie watched Lola smile and wave when Anne looked over at her. Why the hell did she have to do that? Ellie thought. Why does she have to be so … welcoming? They’d been a tight-knit group forever. The last thing they needed was some overdressed East Coast nonsurfing snob to come along and mess things up. It was like the more Ellie found herself surfing alone, the more she worried she was losing her friends. And it wasn’t like she expected them to love all the same things she loved. She respected their differences. But surfing used to be the one thing they all loved equally. And now it seemed like she was left holding the board while they all drifted off toward other, new interests.
Ellie had never feared change until the summer her mother died. Her mom had somehow managed to outlive her prognosis by six months, and even though Ellie knew she was dying, she somehow refused to believe it until it actually happened. She was just twelve years old and it felt like her own life had ended. And the only thing that had gotten her through it, the only thing that kept her from going completely mental, was her friendship with Lola and Jade, and the routine she slowly built for herself and managed to stick to, no matter what.
Every single day Ellie made herself surf, study, and achieve something. Whether it was winning a school election, running a quicker mile on the treadmill at the gym, or getting the highest grade on an exam, she was completely obsessed with winning, being perfect, and having complete control of her life. Having learned at an early age that the biggest and most important things were completely beyond her reach, she was now determined to conquer the small stuff.
Though she had one creative outlet for all that nervous ambition. One activity that she allowed herself to just merely enjoy with no competition or harsh self-judgment. But it belonged only to her, and no one else knew about it.
“Uh, hello? Earth to Ellie!”
Ellie shook her head and looked at Lola, realizing her friend was still waiting for a response. “Oh, the new girl? She’s okay, I guess.” She shrugged.
“Well, she’s sure got great taste in shoes. Look at those boots! I’ve seriously gotta find out where she scored them,” Lola said, smiling in the way that lit up rooms, made clouds disappear, and guys fall to their knees. Lola was like the Julia Roberts of Laguna Beach High. No one could be mad, angry, or depressed when she smiled.
Ellie smiled back, then turned to face the front of the room. She loved Lola for her constant optimism. But there was no way she was going to look at Anne (or her stupid boots) any more than she had to.
chapter nine
Anne was not having a very good first day. Having gone to the same private school all of her life, with pretty much the same group of people, she was not enjoying the novelty of being the new girl. Not one bit. And by the time lunch rolled around, the thought of eating anything out of the bag Christina had packed completely nauseated her. Her stomach felt tight with nerves and self-pity. And even though she’d promised herself she would wait until she got home to call Justin, the second the lunch bell rang she pulled out her cell phone and went looking for a quiet, shady spot where they could talk.
Sinking down onto a patch of grass, she waited while it rang one, two, three times.
“Hello?” he said, his voice sounding so clear that she immediately closed her eyes and
imagined him sitting right next to her.
“Hey,” she said softly, her throat going tight with emotion.
“How’s it going?” he asked. “It’s your first day, right?”
“Um, yeah. It’s going okay,” she said, not wanting to let on just exactly how far things were from okay. She didn’t want him to worry about her. “It’s lunchtime here, so I just thought I’d call and say hey.” God, she sounded so forced. Why did she feel so uncomfortable talking to him now? They’d been together for a year and a half. They’d shared everything together, well—almost everything. Sometimes she wished they’d gone all the way on their very last night together. But right now she somehow felt relieved that they hadn’t. Everything just felt so distant and weird.
“Listen, school just let out and I’m getting a ride home from Vanessa.”
“Vanessa’s there?” she asked, trying not to sound overly paranoid even though she had good reason. Vanessa was Justin’s next-door neighbor and former on-and-off girlfriend from grade one through eight. On the surface, she and Vanessa always acted like they got along really well. But in reality, they both knew better. Vanessa wasn’t over Justin, and Anne knew it. “What happened to your car?” she asked, trying to keep her voice even, less panicked.
“It’s in the shop.”
“For how long?”
“At least a few days. Hey, can I call you later? Vanessa’s honking, so I gotta go before she leaves without me.”
“Oh, I doubt she’ll leave without you,” Anne said, feeling like a pathetic, jealous wife.
“What?” he asked. “I’m losing you.”
And then he was gone.
Well, he may not be losing me, she thought, flipping her phone closed and lying back on the grass. But she wondered if she was losing him.