* * *
Gil stared into the bridge. None of this was his fault. Shelley was right. This thing or whatever was behind this thing had done it to him just like it had killed his father. It had been waiting to kill his father for years just as it had been waiting to kill all those people and it used him. He just had to be there. It needed him in Stansbury and so it kept pushing him back. When the boat went down in Alaska, he came home and when he didn’t stay it took his arm and sent him home and even though he knew well enough that he shouldn’t be here he stayed because whatever he did, it was going to suck him back in and use him and he couldn’t do anything about it except blame himself and he wasn’t going to do that anymore. It won and he couldn’t do anything about it. He wasn’t going to try to figure it out anymore. He wasn’t going to worry about it anymore. He wasn’t even going to come down and see it anymore. It was here and it was going to be here no matter what he did. He knew leaving Stansbury wasn’t really an option, so he wasn’t even going to try. What he really hoped was that somehow he would forget it all the way everyone else seemed to. He could see Shelley was starting to figure things out and ask the questions that everyone started to ask and then one day she would just wake up and all this would be there, something she remembered as a bad time but not something that made her ask why and how and she would just go on about her business because that’s what always happened and he wished desperately that he could do that to, that he could just open his store and sell his syrup and donuts and moose dolls and not have to know about any of it because it was the knowing that was destroying him the way it destroyed his father and Tod and Will and everyone else who ever somehow kept on understanding even when everyone else just stopped.
Gil turned around and went back to Shelley.
“I’m done.”
“Done?”
“Come on.”
He took her hand and started walking away from the lake.
* * *
Shelley let Gil lead her for a moment and then stopped. He was her friend, not her boyfriend. She didn’t have to come just because he said come. She still needed to figure this out, to try to see what they all saw because it was all wrong and somehow she knew it had always been all wrong and she didn’t understand why she had never seen it before.
“Wait.”
He stopped and looked at her. “It’s not worth it, Shelley. Don’t think about it too much and in a little while it’ll all just fade away like it always does.”
“What are you talking about?” He didn’t make any kind of sense.
“It wants me to be like Will. It wants me to go crazy and stare at it all the time and feed it and I’m not going to. I’m just going to go away and I’m going to mourn the loss of my father and my friend and just try to live until it decides to kill me. And then I’ll die. It’s not my concern and it’s not my job. I don’t have to solve it or kill it or anything. I just have to wait until it’s my turn.” He let her hand go and started walking away. “If you want to feed it, go ahead. Just don’t talk to me about it.”
And then he was gone. She let him go and turned back and sat down by the side of the lake again and watched the water. Nobody ever did anything in this lake. Nobody ever swam in it or fished in it or just went out in a little boat on it. People just came and looked at the bridge and left. It didn’t make any sense. She decided to go swimming and started to get undressed. Suddenly she stopped and decided not to go swimming and sat down and looked at the water and wondered why nobody ever went swimming. It didn’t make any sense.
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About the Author
Natasha grew up in Southern California and received her Bachelor’s degree from UCLA in Comparative Literature. She also holds Masters Degrees in both Secondary Education and Creative Writing. Natasha currently lives in the Phoenix area with her spouse, son, daughter and menagerie of pets, including a Basset named Moose and a very overprotective collie dog. Aside from writing and teaching high school students to love theatre.
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