Chapter 13
Donna parked her jeep and floated into Kristen’s house, heading directly up to her bedroom. Instead of the lovely Craftsman detail of the staircase, all Donna could see were visions of brilliant blue eyes and an adorable dimple.
As Donna changed into her nightgown, her thoughts were all about Blake. She touched her finger to her lips, remembering the feeling of his kiss. Not long ago, she had complained that she felt no sparks with any of the men she had dated. She smiled to herself. Lack of sparks would never be a problem with Blake. In fact, they should check for flammable liquids before they spend time alone together.
It wasn’t just a physical attraction. Donna felt comfortable with Blake. She liked the way his mind worked, his sense of humor. He felt the same longing as she felt for a solid marriage like the one Ross and Cindy had shared. She realized she was falling in love.
Was she just asking for heartache for both of them, starting a long-distance relationship? Blake was quite clear that he was looking for a serious partnership, not just an occasional meeting. She couldn’t just abandon her life.
Or could she? What was she really holding on to? A big empty house? A floundering business with a partner eager to buy her out? There was no reason she couldn’t set up an accounting business here. Donna grinned. If Ms. Freeman was any example of the competition, she should easily be able to find clients. After all, the town was full of small business people.
Was it possible? She loved Flagstaff. She thought of running in the woods, hiking, downhill skiing. Just breathing in that pine-scented air every day would be heaven. Maybe she could learn to cross-country ski.
Donna lay in bed for a long time, too wound up to sleep. It was funny how things worked out. A year ago, she had been newly divorced and lonely. When she met Ross in Las Vegas, she was charmed. He was so kind and funny. When he told Donna about his wife, and she realized how devoted they had been and how lonely he was after her death, her heart went out to him.
Too much champagne and the heady atmosphere of Vegas led to an impulsive marriage. The next morning, they were calmly discussing how to correct the mistake when Ross suffered a stroke. Donna stayed at his bedside until Kristen was able to return from Africa. She and Kristen had gotten off to a rocky start, but they were together with Ross when he passed away. She’d stayed to support Kristen and help her make arrangements. That’s why Kristen trusted her when she needed help, which was why Donna was here, and how she came to meet Blake.
Donna decided a cup of herbal tea might help her relax. Wrapping herself in a robe, she tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen. Just before she pushed open the kitchen door, she heard Kristen’s voice.
“But Matt, this job is perfect for you. Running a museum collection like this is what you have dreamed of your whole life.”
Donna paused, not sure if she should disturb Kristen and Matt. She considered whether to interrupt or go away, but after a moment of silence, she realized that Kristen was talking on the phone. She could hear Kristen pacing back and forth in the kitchen as she spoke. “…not fair of Blake to stand in your way. I don’t care what you promised …selfish of him to expect you to give up your dream to keep managing his stupid company.”
Donna was stunned. Blake was preventing Matt from accepting a job in a museum so that he could continue managing the apartments? She thought Blake really cared about Matt. Was it all just a selfish act?
Kristen’s voice was louder. “No, I said I wouldn’t talk to Blake and I won’t, but Matt, this is your life. You have to do what’s best for you.” There was a pause. “I don’t give a damn about your commitment…” Another pause. “That’s different.”
Commitment. Donna knew that Blake felt strongly about commitments. Perhaps he felt that holding Matt to his commitments was the most important lesson he could teach. She shook her head angrily. No! Matt made that commitment not knowing his other options. It wasn’t fair.
“Okay fine, it is your decision. I don’t like it but I won’t interfere. I love you too, Matt, but I am so angry right now.”
Donna slipped back upstairs before Kristen could come out of the kitchen and find her eavesdropping. Hot, angry tears fell from her eyes. How could she feel love for a man who would put principle before people? His affection for Matt was all an act, a performance to enhance his reputation. Well, she couldn’t just do nothing. If Kristen couldn’t talk to Blake, she would.
She picked up her phone and realized that she only had Blake’s office number. He had given her his address, but forgot to include his home phone. She called for directory assistance, but the number was unlisted.
She threw a pillow across the room in frustration. It was after midnight. She would have to get dressed and go back to Blake’s house to talk to him. Then she remembered. She had his cell phone number. She had called it for him in the park the first time they met, when he lost his phone. She remembered her reaction to his body in the park and flushed with embarrassment. That hot body must be hiding a cold heart.
Donna looked through her recent calls until she located the right number. She dialed quickly.
“Donna!” Blake sounded delighted to hear her voice.
“Blake,” Donna said coldly, “this is wrong.”
“What’s wrong?”
“This thing with Matt. I know you must think you are teaching him some sort of principle or something, but forcing him to give up a career that he worked so hard to qualify for in order to keep his promise to you is selfish. I don’t suppose my opinion carries much weight with you, but I want you to know that I think you are a self-centered, egotistical pig.” Donna ended the call.
Pushing a button was much less satisfying than slamming down a receiver would have been. Throwing a shoe helped a little. Then the tears came again.
Donna hadn’t realized that she could cry so much. She sobbed into her pillow until it was soaked. Finally, she was reduced to hiccups. She went into the bathroom to get a drink and wash her face.
She returned to the bed, tossing the wet pillow onto the window seat. She had done it again – fallen in love with an illusion. When she married Mark, she thought he loved her completely. It took her twenty years of gradual disappointments to come to the realization that he was fundamentally selfish, unable to offer the depth of love she longed for. At least she had discovered Blake’s selfishness before she wasted another twenty years. Eventually exhaustion took over and she fell asleep.
The next morning, Donna woke late. The bathroom mirror showed the effects of her midnight crying jag, with puffy eyes and dark circles. A splash of cold water helped a little, and Donna headed downstairs in search of coffee.
Kristen and Jen were sipping coffee at the kitchen table, chattering like chickadees. Donna continued to be amazed at Kristen’s ability to be furious one evening and cheerful the next day. She wished she could shrug things off like that. Instead, she found anger and worry to be exhausting, draining her of energy.
Kristen looked up. “Hi Donna, I was about to come wake you up. It’s almost time to go to the spa.”
Donna was confused. “The spa?”
“You know. I told you we’re getting manicures, pedicures, the works. This is the big day you know.”
“Right, I’m sorry. I haven’t had my coffee yet. It will be a beautiful wedding, Kristen.”
Fortunately, Jen and Kristen seemed oblivious to Donna’s subdued mood. They took Jen’s car to the spa, Jen and Kristen discussing the best colors for nail polish while Donna sat in the back seat.
Rebecca was waiting for them at the spa, relaxing on a pink sofa in the lobby. Kristen and Jen hurried over to her. “Good morning, girls. You’re looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning. Are you ready to get spoiled?” She glanced at Donna and then back at Jen and Kristen. “Why don’t you two go check us all in?”
Rebecca stood up, an expression of concern on her face. “Are you all right, darling?”
“I’m fine,” Donna said.
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“Uh-huh. I talked with Matthew this morning and he told me how you caught his bookkeeper with her hand in the cookie jar. You’re a regular Nancy Drew.”
“Thanks,” Donna tried to smile.
Rebecca gave her an appraising look, but didn’t comment further. They were all ushered to the back where they changed into robes. Rebecca, Kristen, and Jen continued to chat about wedding details as they had their nails painted and their feet beautified, while Donna just had to nod or smile occasionally. The foot massage was soothing, and Donna began to feel a little more relaxed.
After a light lunch, it was time for facials. The technician tut-tutted over the circles under Donna’s eyes and applied some miracle potion before smearing on the mask. Once all four of them had goo-covered faces and cucumber slices over their eyes, the technician put on some soothing new age music and left them to relax.
They lay back quietly for a few minutes. Then Jen asked, “Where are you going on your honeymoon?”
“We’re just taking a week in the Caribbean. We were planning on two weeks, but with all we have to do with finding a house in Sedona and everything, we decided to cut it short. We’ll take a longer trip some other time.”
Donna sat up and peeled off the cucumbers. “What’s this about a house in Sedona, Kristen?”
“Oh, that’s right. I told Jen about it this morning but you weren’t up yet. Matt got a wonderful job offer, starting a brand-new museum in Sedona. It’s a perfect fit for him.”
“So he is leaving his job with his uncle?”
Kristen made a face, causing some fine cracks in her facial mask. “He didn’t want to at first. He had made up his mind not to even tell Blake about the job offer and made me promise not to tell him either. I don’t know how Blake found out about it, but he called Matt late last night and made him take the job.” Kristen laughed. “Basically Blake told Matt that he sucked as an apartment manager and he should make the family proud by doing something he was actually good at.”
So Blake hadn’t even known about Matt’s job offer before her call! Donna felt a wave of guilt wash over her as she remembered the things she had said.
Rebecca piped up. “Now, Kristen, I’m sure Blake wasn’t that tactless.”
“Well, I don’t think he worded it exactly like that, but Matt says that was the gist of it.”
Donna asked, “So Matt’s happy?”
“He’s ecstatic. This is the job he has wanted since he was a kid. While we’re here getting beautiful, Matt is calling his old professor and making all the arrangements. Blake was going to fill in at the apartments while we were on our honeymoon anyway, so he’s just taking over the business until he can hire new employees.”
Donna put the cucumbers back over her eyes and lay back again, feeling sick to her stomach as she remembered the accusations she had made. She had called Blake an egotistical pig, among other things. She had been completely unfair, assuming the worst motives without even allowing him to explain himself. What must he think of her?
When it was time to wash off the mask, the technician was pleased with the eye treatment, but concerned that Donna’s skin had reacted badly to the mask, reddening the skin. Donna knew it wasn’t the mask; she was flushed from the shame of remembering her unconscionable behavior.
The hair and makeup professionals did their magic. Rebecca’s classic features were shaded, smoothed, and highlighted to perfection. Kristen and Jen, already pretty, became beautiful. The stylist arranged Kristen’s hair in an updo, with creamy roses nestled among the curls. Jen’s hair was gathered up away from her face into a cluster of flowers, with the back falling free to rest on her shoulders. Donna looked in the mirror, surprised to see a younger, more polished version of herself looking back.
As they changed back into street clothes, Jen looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s almost time. Kristen, in a couple of hours, you’ll be Mrs. Arlyn.”
Kristen’s smile was beatific. “I can hardly wait.”
“Good girl,” Rebecca said. “I’ll see you at the church.