“They should have voted his ass out a long time ago,” Mac remarked.
Deacon grinned. “Amen to that one.”
Rev exhaled a long, somewhat troubled breath. “All right. Enough about that fucker. Let’s focus on the positives.”
“Yes, sir,” Deacon replied, with a mock salute.
“Ass,” Rev grumbled.
After lunch, we headed down the hill to where the party was gearing up around a towering bonfire. Now that the business aspect was over, the rest of the day would be another free-for-all into the early-morning hours. Then after breakfast on Sunday, everyone would pack up to head home.
I was hoping that Eddy and his assholes would leave early so they didn’t kill anyone else’s buzz. Although Rev had tried changing the subject off Eddy, it was all anyone could talk about in the dining room. Apparently, all the others had heard about Eddy’s threat, and no one seemed to be taking it as lightly as we had initially. We soon learned from some of the older men that Eddy always carried through on a threat. It left a dark cloud hanging over what should have been a banner fucking day for us.
While I’d managed to avoid Samantha for the better part of the weekend, I couldn’t help searching her out now. She and Kim were working the kegs and getting beer for a long line of thirsty Raiders. When she looked up to see me staring, she waved. After I waved back, she grabbed a cup and headed over to me.
“Need a beer?” Samantha asked.
“While I’d prefer some Jack or Patrón, it’ll have to do.”
She smiled as she handed me the red Solo cup. “Did your meeting not go so well?”
“Meeting went good. It’s more about the bullshit that happened afterward,” I replied as I gulped down some of the foamy liquid.
“The mood must be catching, because the other guys seem a little edgy.”
“Edgy is a good way to put it.” I looked up from my cup to find her staring intently at me. “Look, it’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“That might be true, but if you’re upset, I want you to have someone to talk to. Especially since it doesn’t seem like you can with the rest of your brothers. You know, since they’re feeling the same way.”
I sucked down the rest of the beer before shaking my head at her. “It’s nice of you to offer, but I’m going to decline.”
“Still having trouble with the emotional stuff?” she questioned with a smile.
“No. It’s more the fact that the meeting dealt with club business, and you, sweetheart, ain’t a member.”
“Ah, so it’s all part of the secret society stuff, huh?”
“Pretty much.”
“Fine. Keep your secrets.”
“Pity there’s not a pool table for you to hustle some answers out of me, huh?”
Samantha laughed. “Yep. Where’s a pool table when you need one?”
As I craned my neck around the bonfire, I asked, “How’s Marley?”
“Running his ass off. I don’t think he was in the tent two hours last night before his phone was blowing up with requests.”
I chuckled. “Nothing fucking blows quite as bad as the prospect period.”
“Yeah, but Marley is working himself to death, and he’s just a hang-around.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much about that one. If he keeps working as hard as he’s done this weekend, I don’t see any reason why we can’t fast-track part of his prospect period.”
Samantha’s eyes widened. “Really?”
With a shrug, I replied, “Sure, why not? He’s obviously proving himself to be a real asset, and I’m not the only one who thinks so.”
“That’s awesome. He’ll be glad to hear it.”
“So we don’t jinx anything, why don’t we just keep it between you and me?”
Sam gave me a suspicious look. “I hope that doesn’t mean if I don’t tell him, then it’ll be easier for you to bullshit me.”
Holding up my free hand, I said, “Easy there. I’m not trying to pull one over on you. I just didn’t want Marley to hear that and start slacking or something. You know, like he had it in the bag.”
The fierce expression on Samantha’s face lightened. “Oh, I see.”
“Why do I have the feeling you wouldn’t hesitate to bring out your claws?”
Samantha laughed. “You probably have that one right. But only when I think that I—or someone I care about—am being taken advantage of.”
“I can promise you right here and right now that I’m not going to take advantage of you or Marley—and neither are any of my brothers.”
She slowly nodded, and I could tell she didn’t entirely believe me. “Okay.”
“Hey, Sam!” Kim called.
Glancing over her shoulder, Sam replied, “Yeah?”
“Quit flirting with Bishop and get your ass over here and help me!”
Instead of being embarrassed by Kim’s claims, Samantha grinned. “Yes, Captain. I’ll be right there.” She turned back to me. “Since I’m being paged, I better get back to work.”
“You’re a good woman to help out. The fact that Marley will have you for an old lady can only benefit him.”
Her smile seemed to stay frozen in place. “Yeah, we’ll see.” She then hurried back over to Kim and the keg.
Not wanting to dwell on Sam’s reaction to what I had said, I ambled around the bonfire, talking to brothers from different chapters. As the afternoon heat began to wane a bit, I took a seat in one of the folding chairs next to Rev and Deacon.
Both of them had their phones out and were texting frantically. “Pussies,” I muttered under my breath.
“Yeah, well, if I ever want to get any pussy again, I know to check in with Alex to see how she’s doing.” Deacon peered up from the phone to give me a look. “Being stuck with the kids all weekend is rough, especially since Mama Beth is gone on that retreat.”
I slowly shook my head at him. “Jesus, you’re not just a pussy—you’ve grown a vagina.”
“Fuck you,” he muttered as he went back to texting.
Just as I was debating getting a beer or having Joe or Marley get me one, a surge of electricity crackled and popped its way through the air, causing the hairs on the back of my neck and on my arms to stand up. It was a sixth sense sort of feeling I got from time to time when something bad was about to happen. Since bad shit often went down in my world, I had learned to roll with it. The last time I had felt this way was on the way home from our meeting with Rodriguez’s men. I had ended up shot, and Rev had been kidnapped by Mendoza.
I swallowed hard as I rose out of my chair. My gaze spun frantically around the field as I searched for an imminent threat. While my heart pounded out of my chest, I saw nothing out of the ordinary—just people laughing, talking, drinking, and eating. No one was arguing or fighting; no one had any weapons drawn. Realizing all seemed well, I exhaled the breath I had been holding. I brought my hand to my chest and rubbed my shirt over where my heart still beat erratically. Maybe it was all just a false alarm. Maybe what had gone down with Eddy had made me paranoid, which was the last fucking thing I needed.
“You okay?” Rev asked.
When I looked over my shoulder, his expression was grave. He had seen firsthand when I got the heebie-jeebies, as he and Deacon called them. “Just a false alarm.”
But when I turned to sit back down, the sound of tires screeching caused me to freeze. I jerked my gaze from the people laughing and talking in the crowd to the hillside. When a black-paneled van crested the top of the hill, my stomach lurched into my throat. “Get down! Get down!” I screamed.
Just as the words left my lips, the sound of machine-gun fire echoed through the air. I didn’t stop to think about Deacon and Rev—I knew they could take care of themselves. Instead, I searched through the crowd for her. I could barely believe what I saw. Instead of falling to the ground to protect herself like some of the others around me, she was shoving children under the food tables. A scream tore from my throat when the man helping her was hit in the ba
ck and fell to the ground.
Breaking into a sprint, I closed the short gap between us. I had no other thought in my mind but making sure she was safe, even if it meant sacrificing my life for hers. I dove on top of her, toppling her to the ground. As the gunfire and screams continued going off around me, I shielded her with my body.
She once again surprised the hell out of me by pounding her fists against my chest. “Let me up! We need ambulances in here. Stat!”
I figured she was going into shock from the way she was talking. I hoped and prayed that it wasn’t from her being shot and losing blood. I had taken her down so fast I hadn’t had the chance to see if she had been wounded.
When the gunfire finally ceased and the tires squealed off, I slowly rose to look at her. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. But I need—”
Before I could think better of it, I leaned down and bestowed a quick kiss on the top of her forehead. When I pulled back, she stared at me wide-eyed. “Sorry. I’m just so fucking glad you weren’t shot or hurt.”
Unblinking and unmoving, Sam continued staring at me. “You saved me.”
“Yeah.”
Sam started to say something else, and then her eyes went wide. “Marley!” she cried. After she pushed me off her, she jumped to her feet. Before I could grab her, she became lost in the chaos around me.
As I stood there frozen like a statue, it felt as if I had been dropped into the middle of a war zone. In that moment, I knew I would never forget the sounds of the screams. They would haunt me and my sleep for years to come. They were screams of agonized pain, screams of crippling fear, and screams of life-altering grief. Over the years, I had been in a lot of fights and fought a lot of battles as one of the Raiders, but nothing compared to the full-scale carnage around me. I didn’t think there was a chapter that hadn’t lost somebody.
At my side, Deacon was on his cell phone talking to a 911 operator. Rev pushed ahead of us to go to a hysterical woman whose husband or boyfriend lay in a pool of blood. I don’t know how long I stood frozen as I surveyed the horror around me. Finally, I began to animate again.
Slowly, I put one foot in front of the other. It felt as if I were trudging through thick mud. Although I should have been searching for my fellow Raiders, I could think only of Samantha. While I continued walking, moments of relief came as I saw my brothers. Breakneck barked out orders to those around him to help some of the wounded. Kim and several of the women gathered a group of kids to take back to the motel. Boone limped along with his arm over Mac’s shoulder. When I met his gaze, he gave me a nod to let me know that while he might’ve been hit, he was okay.
One by one I saw each of my Raiders brothers, and I heaved a sigh of relief that besides a few minor gunshots, we hadn’t lost anyone.
Or so I thought.
At the far end of the clearing, I finally found Samantha crumpled on the ground. I broke into a run to get to her. But when I grew closer, I skidded to a stop. She wasn’t alone. She was huddled over Marley’s blood-soaked body. From where he had fallen, he had borne the brunt of the gunfire coming over the hill.
“Sam?” I questioned.
Her cries momentarily ceased. She jerked her head up from Marley’s chest to whirl around. Just as I would never forget those screams, I would never, ever forget the look of icy hatred that burned in her eyes. I didn’t have to ask her how Marley was. I knew right then and there that he was dead, and in Samantha’s eyes, I might as well have killed him myself.
EIGHT
SAMANTHA
Life changes in the blink of an eye. One minute you have the world resting precariously in the palm of your hand, and then the next you’re scrambling to pick up the shattered pieces of what once was. Although I had been forced to learn that lesson when I was just eight years old, nothing could have prepared me for when I had to experience it again. The wound of losing Gavin might have cut into my soul over scar tissue, but it did nothing to dull the excruciating pain. It was as fresh as if it were the first time I had to lose someone who meant the world to me.
No matter how hard I tried to push the memory away, the night’s agonizing events played on a macabre loop in my head.
“Gavin!” I screamed over the roar of the crowd. From the instant the shots rang out, pandemonium had ensued. I pushed and shoved strangers out of the way, not giving a damn about their well-being. I was no longer in hero mode like in the beginning when all I could think of was shielding those kids. Now all I cared about was getting to Gavin, and I didn’t give a fuck about anyone else. The longer I couldn’t find him, the more the rising panic in my chest grew. It became so intense that I began to wheeze from being unable to breathe.
Normally, in a crisis like this, we would be wired, and I would know within seconds his location and status. But I was stripped of all the devices that I’d come to rely on when I was in the field.
And then through all the chaos I saw him. I would have known his form anywhere. At the sight of him lying in the grass at the edge of the clearing, tears stung my eyes. I began shoving people harder and harder in order to get to Gavin.
When I finally reached his side, I dropped down beside him. “Gavin? Can you hear me?” Quickly, I scanned his body to assess his wounds. My eyes clamped shut in pain when I saw he had been hit in both the chest and the abdomen. Any other day, those wounds wouldn’t have been an issue, because he would have been wearing his bullet-proof vest.
Tears streaked down my cheeks, dripping onto Gavin’s blood-stained face. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Peterson’s emergency number. Before he picked up, I shook Gavin’s shoulders. “Don’t you dare die on me, Gavin!” I shrieked. Not caring about who was around me or might overhear me, I shouted, “That’s an order, dammit!”
His eyelids fluttered, and my heart jumped in my chest. “Gavin? Gavin, please look at me!”
Slowly his eyes opened, and he gazed up at me.
“There you are. Stay with me. Okay?”
“Hello? Vargas, is that you?” Peterson’s voice echoed from the phone.
Quickly, I related to him what had happened. Then I hung up before he could say anything else. I didn’t have time to talk to him. I needed to devote all my attention to Gavin.
“Peterson knows what happened, so once the ambulance gets here, they’ll radio in to take us to the best hospital around here. They might even airlift you, if you need it.”
Gavin wheezed out an agonized breath. “Love you. Always have . . . always will.”
My body shook as violent sobs racked me. “I love you, too. So fucking much. That’s why I want you to stay with me. Please, please stay with me.”
A beautiful smile lit up Gavin’s face. Without another word to me, he closed his eyes. When he went limp in my arms, a scream tore through me. “No! Sweet Jesus, no!” I buried my head in his chest, sobbing as hard as I had done the day my dad was taken from me. And once again it was at the hands of a biker.
In my warped sense of reality, it seemed that one moment I had cradled Gavin’s lifeless body in my arms, and then the next I found myself in a room off the ER at a hospital somewhere in Virginia. A scratchy blanket provided by an EMT was draped around my shoulders to fend off the rising chill spreading through my body. I blinked a few times to try to clear my eyes of the gritty feel from crying.
Someone had set a cup of black coffee on the table in front of me. Steam rose off the liquid. I reached out and took the cup in my trembling hands. As I brought the cup to my lips, I saw the rust-colored blood staining my hands.
Gavin’s blood.
My throat clenched, and I found I couldn’t take a sip. Instead, I felt like throwing up. With shaky fingers, I put the cup back down on the table. Once again, I found myself staring at my hands.
Twenty-two years ago I had done the same thing as I sat in a private holding room at the police station. No matter how many officers came inside that room with kind offers of sodas or candies, I ignored them and continued stari
ng down at my hands covered in my father’s blood. The only person I finally acknowledged was my mother after she burst into the room. She took one look at me and my bloodied hands and clothes and collapsed into hysterics at my feet. I had had to offer her comfort in those first minutes before she got ahold of herself. It had been a hell of a lot for an eight-year-old kid to endure.
Just like then, time seemed to stand agonizingly still. I didn’t know how long I sat lost in my own world. I drifted in and out of a weird consciousness that was almost like sleeping, but I was fully awake. I paid no attention to the clicking hands on the wall clock. Time really had no meaning for me anymore. As with my father, it would be measured in the time before Gavin’s death and then the time after.
When the door opened, I glanced up to see Peterson, his face ashen. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He didn’t bother taking one of the chairs across from me. Instead, he sat down beside me. Eyeing the coffee cup in front of me, he reached into his jacket pocket and took out a silver-plated flask. He poured a dark amber-colored liquid into the foam cup.
Staring at me, he brought the flask to his lips. After he took a long swig, I snaked one of my arms out of the blanket to take my cup. Although I should have sipped slowly, I sucked it down in one long, fiery, bitter gulp. The alcohol hit my stomach with a searing jolt, and I shuddered.
“I don’t know what the fuck to say to you right now,” Peterson said, his voice hoarse. After I gave a brief nod, he eased back in his chair. “I’d ask how you’re holding up, but it seems pretty evident. I’m sure you don’t need any of my psychobabble bullshit that you’re in shock or what a good agent and man Gavin was or that time heals all wounds, blah, blah.”
I gave him a weak smile. “I appreciate you nixing all the bullshit words of alleged comfort.” I held out my cup for a refill of the alcohol. He happily obliged me. After taking another long sip, I shifted in my chair. “Where the hell are we?”
“We backtracked you guys south to Richmond, since it had the closest field office.”
I nodded. “What happens now with Gavin?”