Oh boy. The way he said that made me believe he was going to do it and stop at nothing to do it.
“I think –” I started.
“No thinking. No discussion. Nothing. Mara, I told you that’s the way it’s gonna be, I mean that’s the way it’s gonna be.”
He stared down at me. I stared up at him. Then I closed my eyes tight and saw flashes of the destruction of my apartment so I opened them fast.
Then I asked quietly, “Do you think we’re, um…unsafe?”
“I don’t give a fuck if you are or you aren’t. You’re gonna be,” he promised.
I stared up at him. He stared down at me.
Then I made a decision because it wasn’t just me I had to protect from the forces outside I had no control over. Forces that could do that to my home which meant they might be forces that could do worse things, such as hurt Billy, Billie or me. And I couldn’t put me protecting myself against all things Detective Mitch Lawson before the safety of Billy and Billie.
So before I could chicken out, I whispered, “Okay.”
Mitch stared down at me. Then his eyes roamed my face while his thumb did another sweep of my cheek.
When they captured mine, they were warm, a whoosh swooped through my belly and he whispered back, “Okay.”
Chapter Thirteen
Scawed
Something made me open my eyes; I stared into the dark and was instantly disoriented. This was because I didn’t know where I was.
Then I remembered.
My mind reeled back to LaTanya and Bradon, with the addition of Brent and Derek, all coming over with some of my clothes, makeup and toiletries, doing the best they could with the hand they were dealt. Mitch, by this time, wisely had started plying me with wine. LaTanya, Derek and Brent gave me hugs and hung out for a glass of wine and to ascertain I wasn’t going to have a nervous breakdown. Then Mitch talked me into getting ready for bed at the same time declaring in Mitch Firm Voice that I was sleeping in his while he slept on the couch. The very thought of this freaked me out though I tried not to let it show and I did this by arguing feebly with him.
My arguments were weak because I’d witnessed the devastation of my apartment, sobbed in his arms and agreed to temporarily move in with the man I was secretly in love with at the same time trying to get out of my life and I’d had two glasses of wine. I was in no shape for anything but bed. Even arguing with Mitch which I had proven I could do even exhausted. And anyway, I rarely won an argument with Mitch so what was the point further exhausting myself by going whole hog?
Not to mention the fact that LaTanya and Derek, Bray and Brent were watching Mitch and my byplay with undisguised fascination. This, of course, freaked me out more.
So I gave in and went to Mitch’s master bath, did my before sleep prep of face cleansing, teeth brushing and moisturizing and then I went to Mitch’s room, sucked in a calming breath and crawled into his huge, very cool bed.
Mitch’s bedroom was much like his living room and, after perusal, the rest of his apartment which included kickass stools around his bar and an absolutely gorgeous and utterly unique wood and steel dining room table. His bedroom furniture was made of wood so dark it was nearly black; it was handsome, heavy and fabulous. He had a tall bureau and a midnight blue club chair with ottoman in front of it, floor lamp and table at the side all in the corner of his bedroom that screamed at you to curl up, relax for long hours and read.
His bed was the best part about the room. A sleigh bed with rolled footboard and high, rolled headboard it had wine-colored sheets and a fluffy comforter covered in stripes that had a background of a mushroom with multi-width lines of wine, midnight blue, forest green, black and warm brown.
The whole bed was awesome (though, he really needed the Spring Deluxe, his mattresses were okay but they weren’t Spring Deluxe). In fact, the whole apartment was awesome.
If I didn’t know Mitch I would think firstly, he was on the take and secondly, he was gay.
But I didn’t reckon gay guys kissed women like that and I couldn’t imagine that Mitch was on the take.
As I lay in his bed in the dark in the middle of the night, I tensed because I felt, weirdly, something was not right
I stayed quiet and still and listened. Then I went solid as the door to Mitch’s bedroom opened.
Shit!
“Mara?” It was Mitch.
I moved, pushing up to sitting and twisted toward the light. I turned it on and Mitch was standing in the doorway, Billie held to his chest, her little girl arms wrapped tight around his neck, her little girl legs wrapped tight around his waist and she was visibly trembling.
My eyes moved to Mitch. “What’s the matter? Is she sick?”
Mitch moved into the room. “Nope. Scared,” he answered, walked to the bed and sat on its edge, arranging Billie in his lap but I watched with troubled eyes as she fought this, it seemed, because it threatened to disconnect her hold on Mitch and she only settled when he did. Then his eyes captured mine. “Not a little, Mara. A lot,” he said quietly.
He didn’t have to tell me that. I saw it and it was freaking me out.
“Baby,” I whispered to Billie, scooting across the bed toward them. When I got close, I did what I could to wind my body around Mitch’s and Billie’s, lifted my hand and stroked her back. I dipped my head to hers. “What’s the matter, sweetie?”
“I’m scawed,” she whispered, not pronouncing her “r” which was something she’d done when she was little but conquered more recently.
“What are you scared of, honey?” Mitch asked gently.
Billie didn’t answer, she just burrowed deeper into him and I saw his arms grow tighter.
“Billie, honey, I’m here, your Auntie Mara’s here, we’re right here. You’re safe. What are you scared of?” Mitch whispered.
“Bad man coming to get Daddy, coming to get Billy, coming to get me,” Billie replied, her voice trembling.
I tipped my head back and my eyes sought Mitch’s only to see his eyes were already on me.
“What bad man, Billie?” I asked my cousin, my eyes not leaving Mitch.
“Bad man that’s after Daddy,” she answered, her voice small and still trembling.
Crap.
I mouthed, “Russian mob?” to Mitch and he shook his head, not in the negative, in an “I don’t know.”
Mitch hitched her up higher and tighter and her arms tensed so she wouldn’t lose purchase. I bit my lip because she was so scared, I could see it and feel it.
Then Mitch said, “No bad man is going to hurt you or Bud, okay? You’re safe here, Billie. Your Aunt Mara and I are gonna look out for you. Yeah?”
“Why aren’t we at Auntie Mara’s?” she asked and I looked back at her.
“You’re having a sleepover with me,” Mitch semi-lied.
“It’s not because the bad man is over there?” she asked.
“No bad man is over there, Billie,” Mitch whispered. “You and your brother and aunt are just stayin’ with me for awhile.”
“But I left my teddy over there. I can’t sleep without my teddy,” she stated.
“Tomorrow, we’ll get your teddy. He’ll be here after you get home from school,” Mitch assured her and I hoped Target had a steady supply.
“Okay,” she whispered and burrowed closer.
Mitch held her close and I stroked her back for awhile. When she seemed to start relaxing, I said gently, “All right, baby, let’s get you back to bed and I’ll stay there with you. Will that make you feel better?”
“Can I sleep in here with you and Mitch?” Billie asked in a small, needy voice.
Me and Mitch?
My eyes shot back to his face but his neck was bent to talk to Billie.
“How about you sleep in here with your aunt?” he asked which caused an instant response from Billie, her arms tightened, her back arched to get maximum contact with Mitch’s powerful frame and her voice rose when she spoke again.
“You’re bigg
er!”
“Honey,” Mitch muttered.
“I wanna sleep in here with you and Auntie Mara!” she cried out against his skin.
“Billie, baby, you’re safe in here with your aunt and I’ll be right out –” Mitch started, his voice soothing but Billie was having none of it.
“You’re bigger! The bad man will be scared of you!”
Oh crap. What did I do with this? She couldn’t sleep with Mitch and I couldn’t sleep with Mitch.
Mitch lifted his head to look at me.
I moved closer to Billie. “Okay, sweetie, listen to me. You can stay here with me and Mitch’ll be right out in the living –”
Suddenly and violently, she twisted.
Her hand coming out and latching onto my hair, tugging so hard it hurt and her face was red and mottled when she screamed at me, “The bad man is coming to get me! Me and Billy! The bad man will be scawed of Mitch! He’ll be scawed! He’ll be scawed of Mitch!”
Good God.
In the face of her little girl terror, I gave in instantly. “All right, baby, all right, we’ll all sleep in here. No one’s going anywhere. We’ll all stay right here.”
She stared into my face then it seemed she collapsed, her hand leaving my hair, her head falling on Mitch’s shoulder, her arm drifting listless down his side.
“Thank you,” she mumbled.
I lifted a hand to cup her face and her eyes closed with relief. My eyes moved to Mitch. I didn’t know what to say or do. I didn’t know if I could sleep beside Mitch but I was pretty certain I couldn’t. I didn’t know what Mitch was thinking. What I did know was that Billie’s behavior scared the hell out of me.
“Do you mind?” I whispered to Mitch and he just stared at me.
After awhile he said, “No.”
“Thanks.” I was still whispering.
Mitch got off the bed and I pulled the bedclothes back. He shifted them in, rolled Billie between us then rolled back to turn out the light. Since it was dark, I heard them moving to get settled and I reached out a hand to feel Billie was turned into Mitch, still holding on. I stroked her back for awhile then when I heard Billie’s breathing turn heavy and her little body relaxed, I pulled away to lay on my back and stare at the dark ceiling.
That was when I whispered, “Mitch, you awake?”
“Yeah,” Mitch replied.
“Sorry about this.”
There was silence.
“Really, um…sorry,” I said quietly.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“She was really scared and I, uh…didn’t know what to do.”
“Mara, don’t worry about it.”
“I feel badly,” I told him softly. “You’re being so nice and –”
I felt the bed move then I saw the shadow of Mitch’s frame looming over Billie’s body toward me then I felt Mitch’s fingers on the side of my face, his thumb on my lips.
“There are far worse things than needin’ to sleep in this bed with you and a scared outta her brain six year old. Like I said, sweetheart, don’t worry about it. Yeah?”
“Okay,” I whispered against his thumb.
“Go to sleep.”
“Okay.”
His thumb swept my lips then his shadow disappeared as he lay back down. Billie moved, nestling into him, still breathing heavily and I hoped that meant she didn’t wake up.
I lay in the dark and stared at the ceiling.
I did this awhile.
Then I called, “Mitch?”
This got me a rumbly, sleepy, “Yeah?”
“Sorry, were you asleep?”
“Not yet.”
I bit my lip.
“You want somethin’?” he asked.
“Um…”
“Mara, honey, we both got work tomorrow –”
I cut him off on a whispered, “She was freaking scared.”
“Yeah.”
“Not right scared,” I went on.
“Yeah.”
“What do you –?”
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
I bit my lip again. Then I said, “Okay.”
“Go to sleep, honey. Everything’s all right right now. That’s all you gotta think about.”
“Okay.”
“’Night, baby.”
“Goodnight Mitch.”
* * * * *
Mitch
Mara moved in the bed, curling into Billie at the same time curling into Mitch. He woke as he felt her move into him.
He was on his back and one beautiful adolescent female and one beautiful adult female were pressed into his side, both their arms thrown over his gut, Billie’s head at his ribs, Mara’s head settling on his shoulder.
Not for the first time he noticed that Mara’s hair smelled unbelievably fucking great.
He stared at the dark ceiling thinking about Mara and her boundaries.
Then he grinned at the dark ceiling.
Then he thought about Mara’s long, shapely bare legs which he remembered seeing in shorts on a variety of occasions during the summers. He’d also seen them on a variety of occasions in a bikini when he’d been at the bar in the clubhouse or on his way into or out of the gym to work out and she’d been lounging by the pool outside. And he’d seen them the morning before when she’d been in a short robe and that cute nightie. The nightie she was wearing right now. The nightie that clung to a lot of really fucking great places and showed most of her equally fucking great legs which went on for-fucking-ever.
Summer was coming.
His grin grew into a smile.
Then he fell asleep.
Chapter Fourteen
I’ll Go Gentle
My eyes slowly opened and even just upon waking, I was profoundly confused.
This was because my vision was filled with an immensely attractive, no, criminally attractive smooth-skinned, defined, hard-muscled wall of chest as well as the top of Billie’s head pressed to the sculpted ridges of some ribs. Then there was my arm under Billie’s arm slung over a flat, carved stomach.
I blinked and the chest was still there, Billie was still there and our arms were still there.
I blinked slower and found the same when I opened my eyes.
Cautiously, I tipped my head back and as it went I saw a familiar, corded throat then a familiar, strong, square, dark-stubbled jaw and then I was staring at Ten Point Five Detective Mitch Lawson’s profile. Locks of hair had fallen on his forehead, his eyes were closed, his thick long lashes resting on his cheeks and him lying there sleeping was beyond hot. It was mega-hot. It was immeasurable hot.
He was so beautiful I couldn’t breathe.
I’d been so worried about Billie last night and so out of it about everything I hadn’t realized he was bare-chested. I also hadn’t really let myself think of being in his bed with him and with him bare-chested.
I liked it. All of it.
Oh boy.
I looked at the alarm clock and it was ten minutes after I usually got up to get myself sorted so I could then start getting the kids sorted. I didn’t have to run them to school today since Mitch was doing it. Still, it was time to start on the day because Mitch might be running them to the school but someone had to get them up, showered, dressed, book bags packed (wherever those were) and fed.
And that someone was me.
Carefully, I moved my head from Mitch’s shoulder and then bent down. Pulling Billie’s dark hair out of her face and smoothing it back, I leaned in to kiss her temple. My poor girl had been scared last night of something that was very real.
That was another thing on the morning’s agenda. Find some way that didn’t scare the hell out of them to talk to Billy and Billie about what Billie meant.
“Sweetheart,” I heard Mitch rumble.
My head tipped back to look at him and seeing his sexy-drowsy face, his eyes warm on me, those locks of hair on his forehead, something happened to me that hadn’t happened since I was four years old and learned about the world I lived
in which was a place I could never leave.
I got transported to a fantasy world.
“Hey,” I whispered.
His hand came up and cupped my cheek as his eyes roamed my face.
Then he responded, “Hey.”
“You sleep okay?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Mitch answered quietly.
“Good,” I whispered. “I’ve got to get the kids ready for school. How do we do that and not interrupt your morning schedule?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll work around you.”
Jeez. He was such a nice guy.
“’Kay,” I said softly.
His eyes dropped to my mouth, they became heated, my chest heated in return and he ordered gently, “Come here.”
I went there, not thinking, just moving toward him as his hand slid from my cheek into my hair. When I got close his eyes roamed my face again, all around and down to my shoulders and neck.
“Never seen you with your hair down,” he murmured, his fingers sifting through it. “It’s softer than I imagined.”
He imagined how soft my hair was?
His hand cupped the back of my head and his eyes locked on mine. “And I thought it would be pretty, fuckin’ soft.”
“Mitch,” I whispered then said no more.
His fingers put pressure on my scalp, pulling me toward him then his mouth put pressure on mine.
God. I liked this fantasy world. It was freaking great.
Billie shifted between us and Mitch’s hand moved out of my hair. I turned to the side and looked down to see she had her head tipped back and her sleepy, little girl eyes were on us.
“Is Mitch your boyfriend now, Auntie Mara?” she asked.
At her question, I came crashing out of my fantasy world.
Shit!
I started to pull away and Mitch’s arm around my back tightened, his hand shifting up to between my shoulder blades, flattening and holding me close therefore I had no choice but to freeze.
“Um…” I mumbled.
Shit!
I decided to shift the subject and asked gently, “You sleep okay, sweetie?”
“Miss my teddy,” Billie replied.