When Tony couldn’t see Nikki’s taillights any more in the rearview, he sighed. He’d wanted so badly to taste her lips, to pull her softness against him, wrap his arms around her waist, let her feel his hardness, how badly he needed her. But he didn’t want to scare her or move too fast. It had taken every bit of his resolve to let her get into that car and drive away, but he’d already decided; when he called Nikki later, he planned to ask her out again for Sunday.
“You home and locked in?” he asked when she answered.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks again for dinner. It was . . .” dared she say it? “magical.”
“It was, wasn’t it? I didn’t know a pizza could taste so good. I guess it was the company I keep, huh?”
“Maybe. That was one very tasty pizza!”
“So, I was thinking. I’ve got to go to a jobsite tomorrow morning, but I’ve got no plans for Sunday. Would you like to spend the afternoon with me, maybe drive out through the country, have some dinner?”
She didn’t want to sound too eager, but then she decided what the hell. If being honest with him turned him off, at least she’d know sooner rather than later. “I’d love it!” she gushed. “So, what do I need to wear?”
“Dress casual and comfortable. I’ll pick you up about one. Hey, you need to give me your address – I don’t even know where you live.”
“429 Bluejay Lane.”
“You live in Annabeth and Katie’s neighborhood!”
“Yes. We figured that out when Annabeth ordered Katie’s flowers.”
“Wait – do you have a neighborhood association?” Tony asked. Seemed he remembered something someone had said – maybe Jason? He lived in Annabeth and Katie’s neighborhood too.
“Yes, we do, but I’ve never seen Annabeth or Katie at a meeting. I used to be the . . .”
“Secretary?” he interrupted. His heart was about to pound right out of his chest.
“How did you know that?” she gasped.
“Then you know Jason Miller?” His mind was reeling.
“Sure! He lives over here too.”
Tony hesitated for a few seconds. Should he say out loud what he was thinking? “I’ve got something to tell you, but it’ll freak you out – it’s freaking me out. Do you know why I came to the shop?” he asked slowly.
Was this a trick question? “To buy flowers?”
“Yeah, but I came there to buy flowers because Annabeth had met you. She wanted me to meet you and wouldn’t take no for an answer. When I got there, I realized you were the woman from the gym, the one I’d been wanting to ask out.” Damn – he hadn’t meant to say that.
He’d wanted to ask her out all along? She thought about it for a second, and realized she’d been going to that gym for four years. In that time, he’d always been there. He’d been thinking about asking her out all that time? Four years? “So you didn’t know I worked in the shop when you came in?”
“Well, I knew someone named Nikki worked there because of Annabeth, but I didn’t know you were the same woman from the gym. But here’s the freaky part. Jason works for me. He knew Annabeth was trying to get me to meet someone, and he knew I kept balking.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “And he told me if that didn’t work out, he’d be glad to introduce me to the former secretary of his neighborhood association.”
Nikki was glad she was alone – her bottom lip was trembling and tears were welling in her eyes. “So you’re telling me that somehow, some way, from three different directions . . .”
Tony took a deep breath. “Nikki, I don’t want to go too fast. And I’m not saying this is anything permanent. But don’t you think it’s odd that all of this came together, like something, someone, was determined to make sure we met? Don’t you think it’s funny?”
“It’s not funny, Tony. It’s called fate.” Her voice was failing and the tears were coming so fast that she couldn’t stop them. “I can’t wait until Sunday,” she managed to get out in a whisper.
“Me neither.” Tony’s voice was low and almost reverent. “Sleep well. I’ll be thinking of you until then. Good night, beautiful girl.”
Nikki choked and whispered back, “Good night.” She pressed END, dropped the phone, and sobbed into her pillow.
He’d called her beautiful. This couldn’t be happening. No one got this lucky twice in a lifetime.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
When Tony’s number popped up on her phone screen, Nikki decided to be a little bold. “Good morning, handsome!” she answered cheerfully. “How are you this beautiful morning?”
“I’m great, pretty girl. How’s your morning?” Tony was more than a little excited that Nikki sounded glad to hear from him.
Nikki had spent all morning boxing up Mother’s Day orders, a day she tried hard to forget; it only depressed her. His voice was like music to her. “It’s better now that I’m talking to you! What are you up to?”
“Exactly what I wanted to ask you.” He poured another cup of coffee.
“I’m at the shop.”
“Oh.” Disappointment was thick in his voice. “When do you get off?”
“Noon. Why?”
He brightened back up – his idea could still work. “My jobsite trip got cancelled for the day. Want to have a picnic with me?”
“Absolutely! That sounds so good! But I can’t fix anything . . .”
“I’ve got it covered. There’s a restaurant down the street from me that specializes in picnic meals. Can I pick up something from them and meet you at the shop at noon?”
“I’d love that! Is there anything I can do?”
“Yeah.” Tony’s heart was hammering. “Smile when I come through the door. It’ll make my day.”
“Trust me, that’ll happen without you asking! I’ll see you at noon – can’t wait.”
“Me neither. See you then.” Tony hit END and put the phone down. He thought about spending the afternoon with Nikki, and everything below his waist tensed. God, he wanted her so much, but he knew if he wanted to have a long-term relationship with her he couldn’t rush things.
He took his time getting ready and still left with ten minutes to spare to meet Nikki when she got off work. But before he pulled away from the house, he had a thought: Call Steve. After briefly warring with his conscience, he found Steve’s number in his favorites and hit it. It only rang twice before Steve answered.
“Hey, big guy, what’s up?” Steve McCoy’s deep voice and small-town twang had always felt like order in the midst of chaos for Tony. He was a good friend and an even better attorney, not to mention the fact that if there was dirt, Steve could dig it up.
“I need you to do something for me,” Tony said haltingly.
“Just name it.” A chewing sound came from Steve’s end of the phone. It seemed like he was eating every time Tony talked to him.
“I need you to check someone out.”
“Is this a business associate, or a politician, or . . .” Steve fished.
“Neither. A woman.”
“Ah! Is that right?” Steve started to laugh. “Finally, the area’s most eligible bachelor is . . .”
Tony interrupted him. “Hey, give it a rest, asshole. I’ve heard it all from my family already. Not you too. Please.”
“Sorry. Okay, okay, I’ll give it a rest. So who is she?”
Tony filled Steve in on everything he knew about Nikki. Steve was snoopier than a bunch of little old ladies on a church social committee; nothing escaped him. If there was anything about Nikki she wouldn’t want known, Steve would find it, and he wouldn’t waste any time doing it. And he’d sure as hell have no compunction about sharing.
“I’ll get right on it, buddy,” Steve assured Tony. “And, for the record, I’m glad you’re seeing someone. I hope I don’t find anything.”
“Thanks. But you’ll tell me if you do, right? Even if it hurts?”
“Absolutely. You can count on me. I’ll get back with you on Monday afternoon. I should have something by then.”
r />
“Thanks, man. I owe you.”
“Well, not yet. But you will – I’ll bill you!” Steve laughed as he hung up.
Tony stopped at the restaurant and picked up the food, then drove to the shop to meet Nikki. He was a little early, but he’d sit in the car in the parking lot and wait, anything to be a little closer to her. Even though he was alone, his cheeks pinked up. He was acting like a horny adolescent, but he didn’t care. For him, it was just exciting to be alive for the first time in a long time.
Nikki heard the door and turned. When she saw Tony, the smile that burst across her face was so huge that it was almost painful, and he looked so delicious that she wanted to lick him. He seemed pretty happy to see her too.
“Hey, about ready? Or do you have to wait until noon straight up?”
“No, I’m good. Let’s go.” She locked the door behind them and, with no hesitation, Tony took her hand as they made their way across the street. His hand was big and warm, and hers felt safe in it.
She looked around the lot, but his truck was nowhere to be found. Glancing at his face, she didn’t see any sign of distress. She was confused – right up until she heard the locks click on a beautiful black Camaro sporting a silver overhead stripe package, sitting on the back edge of the parking lot. He opened the door for her and helped her inside.
“Like it?” he asked, a tiny, sly smile pulling at one corner of his mouth as he got in.
“Like it? It’s – wow!” It even smelled brand new. “How long have you had this?”
“About six months. They took almost a year to get it to me, but it was worth the wait, don’t you think?”
“It sure was!” she gushed as he hit the button on the key. The engine roared to life, and the six-speed manual barked the tires as they pulled out of the parking lot.
Tony drove straight to the riverside green space and parked. They made their way across the wide lawn to a small grove of trees about halfway to the river. Tony opened the carrying box and, inside the top, there was a red and white checked tablecloth plenty big enough to use as a ground cloth. Nikki helped him unpack the gourmet food and a jug of peach tea big enough to last all afternoon. She’d never seen such a decadent picnic feast.
After they’d cleaned up from lunch, Tony lay down on the cloth and looked up at Nikki. “I don’t want to be a buzz kill, but I think we need to talk.” Whatever it was, it didn’t sound like fun to Nikki.
“Oh? What about?”
“Remember last night when I kept saying that this or that was for another conversation? Well, that conversation is now. I want to hear about your family. And there are some things I need to tell you. They need to be aired before we take this any farther. But you first.”
“What do you want to know?” she asked.
“I know you lost your husband and your two kids. No more kids?”
“Nope. Just the two.”
“How long ago?”
“Five years,” she answered, looking down at the blanket and picking at a thread in the design.
“I know this is hard, but we need to get it out of the way.” Nikki didn’t look up, but she nodded in agreement. “I think you told me you’d been married thirty years?” he asked.
“We’d celebrated our thirtieth anniversary that year.” Thirty years – Tony couldn’t even imagine. He thought about how lost his mom had been without his dad the first few years.
“You weren’t originally from here, were you?” he asked.
“No. Murray.”
“That’s in the far western end of the state, right?”
“Yes. Near Paducah. Murray State University is there.”
“Right, the Racers.” He watched her smile and nod. “And you came here because . . .”
“Randy’s job. He got transferred to a loading facility here.”
“How long had you been here when, you know . . .”
“Um, about six months.”
“How old were your kids?”
“Oh, grown. She was twenty-four; he was twenty-nine. They didn’t live with us; they were just visiting.” It was all starting to flood back. She held her breath and fought back tears.
“So how about you start at the beginning. It would be easier.” Tony rolled over on his side and propped himself up on one elbow so he could keep watch on her face, stop her if it got too painful, or interject something if she got too upset. Nikki had dreaded that moment; she took a deep breath and started.
“Okay. First, you have to understand my family. Everyone in my family was a religious nut. My grandparents, all of them, were cold and distant, and neither of my parents ever felt loved. They had a child, me, because they wanted someone to love them – whether or not they were able to love me never mattered to them. It’s always been all about them. They were never supportive, caring, loving, anything.”
“And your husband?”
“Randy and I started dating when I was fifteen. By the time I was seventeen, I was pregnant and we got married. I desperately wanted a family, people to love who would love me. Even though we were teenagers, Randy loved me more than anyone else ever had, and I felt like I had a chance at a real life. Jake was born right after I turned eighteen; Amanda came along five years later. Even as young and poor as we were, we were a very happy little family. Randy and I had a few rocky years, but it got better as we grew up. By the time he died, we were crazy mad in love with each other again. He made good money and we were enjoying life. We moved here; we liked the culture of the city compared to all the small-town bullshit. Amanda lived near here; Jake lived in Ashland, so we were closer to him. I was trying to meet people with the same interests as mine.”
She swallowed hard. “The kids were here visiting. All three of them wanted ice cream; I didn’t, so they went to get some. They begged me to come along, but I said I’d stay behind and clean up the dinner dishes and we’d watch a movie when they came back. But we never got to watch that movie.” Nikki stared at the red and white checks as they started to swim in her tears, and she closed her eyes. She felt Tony’s hand on hers and started again.
“It happened less than a mile from the house. I heard the sirens and commotion, and I realized they should’ve already been home. So I started calling their cells, but no one answered. I knew – I just knew . . .” she trailed off. Then she took a deep breath and started again.
“The guy was so drunk that he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t in the car anymore. He didn’t know what he’d done until the next morning. By that time, Randy and Amanda were gone, Randy at the scene and Amanda in the ambulance. Jake died the next day. I ask myself every day why I couldn’t have died too.” Tony watched tears roll down her face and drip off of her jaw. He wanted to pull her to him, but he knew she needed to finish. “Only someone who’s been through it can possibly understand what it’s like to walk into that hospital emergency room and see a broken, battered body, tubes and tape and bloody blankets all around, and be told it’s your child or your husband, that they’re gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Then having to make the decision to unplug a machine and let what’s left of someone you love cease to function.” The tears were falling uninhibited, so fast that she couldn’t wipe them away.
She shook herself and pulled her shoulders back, taking a deep breath. “So I took them home to bury them. Not Randy; he wanted to be cremated. But the kids . . . So anyway, the day after the funerals, I was packing up to come back to Louisville. My mother walked in and asked what I was doing. She said, ‘You’re not going back. We’ve cleaned out the spare bedroom. You don’t have a family anymore, and we don’t have anyone else, so you can live here and take care of us.’ I knew if I did that, I’d never have a life. I’d be that pitiful widow who lived with her folks. I told her thanks, but I was coming back to Louisville to pick up where I’d left off. She called me terrible names, told me I was an ungrateful brat, that I was running from my problems. She said they didn’t care if I was their only child – if I didn’t stay
they’d disown me and never talk to me again. When I told them no, they had the police come and tell me to leave.”
“You’re kidding! And?”
“When I got back, I called to tell them I was home and safe. She hung up on me. Every time I called, she hung up or wouldn’t answer. At one point, my dad answered and yelled into the phone, ‘Stop calling!’ I’d send birthday cards; they’d mark them ‘return to sender’ and send them back. Friends who still live there told me they were telling all kinds of vicious lies about me all over Murray, that I was a prostitute in Louisville, that I was dealing drugs, all kinds of horrible, weird things, all because I wouldn’t do exactly what they wanted. So I really don’t have any family anymore.”
Tony was stunned. How could anyone treat their child that way, especially their only child? The pain on her face was heart-rending; it took his breath away. As though she could read his mind, she managed to get out, barely above a whisper, “Sometimes it hurts to breathe.”
In an instant, he rose to his knees and took her into his arms, pulling her to his chest. Five years of grief, pain, neglect, despair, and abuse poured out of her and onto his shirt as she sobbed with total abandon. He smoothed her hair and pressed his face into the top of her head. There was a fragrance to her hair that was warm and earthy, kind of exotic, and he breathed it in deep and held his breath before breathing it in again. In a few minutes she stopped gasping and started to breathe more normally, and she pulled back a little, looking up at him.
“I’m so s-s-s-sorry,” she stuttered through broken sobs. “I must really look a sight.” He handed her a napkin from lunch, into which she promptly blew her nose. He laughed, and she giggled too. “Oh, god, I bet I’m a mess!” she smiled.