She opened the car door but, before she could get out, Tony was there, holding it for her. He closed it behind her and marched up the steps, her hand in his. She noted he didn’t take out a key; the door was unlocked and he simply opened it for her and held it until she was inside.
What the outside didn’t do to intimidate her, the interior managed. It was beautiful, crystal entry chandelier and all. Her voice broke as she asked, “How many bedrooms?”
“Eight. Not counting the one for the housekeeper. I can use it as guest housing now that Helene has her own house. So I guess nine.” Tony walked into the kitchen with Nikki following. “Would you like something to drink?” he asked, opening the refrigerator.
“Just water?” Nikki choked out, realizing it came out sounding more like a question. She really didn’t know what to say or how to act as she tried to wrap her mind around why a man like Tony Walters would even ask her out. Was he testing her to see if she was a gold digger? Or if she’d be put off by his money? Her head was spinning, trying to figure out why she was standing in the kitchen of a house like that.
“So, listen,” Tony said.
“Yeah?” she managed to squeak out.
“No, I mean, listen,” he repeated. “It’s so quiet.”
He was right – there wasn’t a single sound. Nikki found herself thinking how she could get used to that, when a woman’s voice rang out. “Tony? Why didn’t you let me know you were coming?” The woman she’d seen on the deck of the smaller house bustled in through the back kitchen door.
“Hey, Helene! I didn’t call because I don’t want you to do a thing. Just go on back home. I’m guessing there’s some food in the fridge?”
“Oh, yes, some sliced ham, deviled eggs, green bean casserole, and pot roast. I think there’s some meatloaf in there too.” She had a round, soft, medium build and was slightly older than Tony, with a chubby, ruddy face and no makeup. Her gray hair was cut very short, and she wore the whitest tee shirt Nikki had ever seen.
“Perfect! That’ll be fine.” Tony busied himself pulling things out. Helene tried to take them from him, but he pulled the containers away from her. “No, you just go on now. I’ve got this. Take a day off, for heaven’s sake. I think we can handle it,” he told her and grinned at Nikki. “By the way, this is my friend, Nikki.”
“Very nice to meet you.” Helene responded with a smile and extended her hand.
Nikki took it. Helene had a warm, firm grip. “And you as well,” Nikki replied.
“So where did you two meet?” Helene asked, trying hard not to break into a huge grin.
“And it’s time for you to go home. Take the day off. We’re going to spend some quality time sitting and talking.” Tony pointed at the back door. “I’ll answer questions at the press conference.” For a moment, Nikki thought he was serious. When he noticed the stricken look on her face, he laughed. “Just joking!”
“Oh! It was . . .”
“Damn that magazine article. Hey, really, nobody cares what I do. That was a fluke.” He pushed Helene out the door and closed it behind her, and she stood on the back steps for a second or two before shuffling off. “Now, what’s your preference, ham or pot roast?”
“Did Helene cook this stuff? Because it’s incredible.” Nikki thought about how many calories were probably in the meatloaf and then decided she didn’t care.
“Yeah, she’s an exceptional cook.” Tony forked up more green bean casserole. “I would’ve starved years ago if it hadn’t been for her. Sometimes she makes stuff when she knows I’m coming and sends it back with me. Don’t know what I’d do without her.”
“Worked for you long?”
“Yep. Her grandparents worked for my grandparents, and her parents for mine, and, well, you get the picture. I finally built the house for her a few years ago. I don’t need somebody living under my roof, but this way she’s close and somebody’s watching the house.” He chewed thoughtfully. “But I didn’t bring you here to talk about food.”
“So why did you bring me here?” She felt her stomach flutter ever so slightly as she waited for his answer.
“Like I told Helene, to talk. Without interruptions.” He ate the last bite of casserole, then rinsed his plate and put it in the dishwasher. She tried to finish hers, but her nerves wouldn’t let her, so she handed him her plate and he made short work of her leftovers, then rinsed her plate and stowed it too.
“Come on, let’s go sit in the great room and do some getting-to-know-you communicating.” He took her hand and led her out of the kitchen and into the massive room. Huge French doors led out onto a flagstone patio, and the doors were flanked by two enormous stone fireplaces. Beyond the patio, Nikki could see a large swimming pool surrounded by plenty of space to entertain, filled with lots of expensive-looking outdoor furniture. Under a covered area, a stone grill accompanied by a built-in range dominated a dining area complete with a table that would probably seat twelve. To Nikki, it looked like something straight out of an architectural magazine.
Tony plopped down onto a soft, overstuffed leather sofa, kicked off his shoes, put his feet up on the coffee table, and motioned for her to sit beside him. She kicked off her shoes too, and pulled her feet up onto the sofa. “So, you kept saying we were going to talk. What are we supposed to be talking about?” she asked quietly.
“I just want to know what you have in mind for this relationship.” His eyes scanned her face, and she felt her heart flip-flop in her chest.
“What exactly do you mean? Maybe you should tell me what you have in mind so I have a little better idea of what you’re looking for in the way of an answer.” She hoped he couldn’t see or hear her heart pounding.
“Not gonna make this easy on me, are you?” He smiled and she shook her head. “Okay, here goes. Nikki, I haven’t dated anybody since my divorce, and I do not engage in casual sex. I don’t see dating as a sport. I see it as a way to, I don’t know, maybe audition somebody? To see if I’m compatible with them?” Nikki’s eyebrows were slightly raised, and she was listening intently, judging by her face. His heart felt like it was going to burst from anxiety. He didn’t want to scare her off, but he wanted to be honest with her. “I mean, I wouldn’t even ask somebody out if I didn’t think I was really interested in them. So I guess what I’m asking is, do you think you’re even remotely interested in a long-term relationship with me? I know it’s kind of early to ask that and we really don’t know each other very well, but . . .”
“No, I don’t think it’s early. And I don’t believe in casual dating either,” she answered. “I wouldn’t have said yes to a date if I only wanted to see you once or just sleep with you or something like that.” She couldn’t believe she’d said that, but he was really putting himself out there, so she wanted to honor that by being as honest as she could manage. “I’m most definitely interested in seeing where this goes. But I have to warn you, I’m afraid.”
“Of what?” Tony’s eyes were sad. “Of me? Of getting involved with somebody? Of getting hurt? Because you couldn’t be more afraid of getting hurt than I am. I’m terrified.”
“Then why are you doing this? Why scare yourself silly? You have a good life, even without a partner.”
“Because,” he took a deep breath, “because I’m tired of being alone.” There – he’d said it, and she wasn’t laughing or running away. She was still gazing steadily into his eyes. He felt his heartbeat start to calm.
“I understand.” Nikki looked down at her hands. “I’ve got my own issues. I’m afraid of getting hurt. I’m afraid I won’t fit into your lifestyle, your family, your circle of friends. Look at this place. I’m so plain. I’m no fancy person; I’m just me.” She felt tears start to pool in her eyes and she didn’t want to draw attention to them, so she fought the urge to wipe them away. “I’m afraid of everything, of being rejected, of finding out you don’t want me like you thought you did. I’m not twenty-five; I’m almost fifty-two. Gravity is not my friend; nothing is as perky as it
used to be. I’m scared of pretty much everything.” She stopped for a second and took a deep breath, her shoulders shuddering. “I guess my question is, why me? What could you possibly see in me? I’m nobody; I’m nothing. You could have anyone you want. Why in the world would you want me? Why am I here?”
Tony reached out and softly placed his hand on her face. His palm was warm and velvety, and when she leaned into it and closed her eyes, she felt a tear spill out and run down her cheek. Before it could get all the way to her jaw, he caught it with his thumb and wiped it away. “Honey, I’m not looking for fancy,” he told her in a liquid tone barely over a whisper. “I’m looking for real, and the thing that drew me to you was how real you are. I could buy myself a plastic girl, somebody all pumped up with silicone and Botox and collagen, but that’s not me. I just want somebody who’ll treat me with some love and respect, somebody who’ll be there for me, somebody who’ll try their best to make a life with me. And you have a proven track record with a man you loved, and who loved you. What you had with your husband? That’s what I’m looking for. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted.” Tony stopped and looked at her, waiting for her to look at him.
When her eyes finally opened, there was a tenderness and gentleness to their turquoise tint that he’d never seen in another woman’s eyes, deep and pure. She gave a little sniffle and whispered out, “I’d like to try to see where this goes. I’d really given up on ever having much of a life again. I don’t even know where to start.”
Tony shrugged. “I don’t really know where to start either, but I think we’ve gotten off to a pretty good one, don’t you?”
“I know I’m having fun. This has been the best weekend I’ve had in years.” She straightened a bit. “I’ll be sad when it’s over.”
“It doesn’t have to be. Let’s just spend as much time together as we can and see what happens. But I have a rule: I won’t sleep with you until you’re ready and we’ve talked about it, about expectations, about limits, about all of it. Just like you said, remember?”
“Absolutely,” Nikki agreed. “I’m in no hurry. Well, I mean, I don’t want to rush things.” She blushed. Nothing was coming out right. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t want you, because I . . . oh, I should probably shut up now.” Her face was growing hot and she wanted to crawl under a rock.
Tony chuckled. “Let me make something clear right now. I want you. I want you bad. But I want us to get to know each other a little better first, make sure we’re a good fit, you know? The last thing I’d want would be to find out we aren’t compatible and wind up with both of us feeling used and hurt.”
“I agree.” Nikki felt better. “Make sure we’re a good fit. We’re grownups. We can do this.” She looked up into his face and saw nothing but pure joy there.
Oh my god, Tony thought. I’m not sure I’m grownup enough to wait.
“Are any of them yours?” When Nikki approached one of the horses, the bay gelding raised his head for her to scratch his face, then put it back down and started munching on the tender spring grass again.
“No. I lease the barn to a neighbor. Some of them are his, and some are boarders. His wife teaches riding lessons.” Tony patted a huge sorrel mare on the shoulder. “Do you like horses?”
“Oh, yeah! I had a couple when I was a kid. I’ll always love them.” She plucked a yellow dandelion bloom from the ground and twirled it between her fingers. “Do you think I could maybe ride one of them sometime?”
“I think that’s completely doable. He’s told me to ride them anytime. I’ve just never had anybody to ride with.” Tony pointed out two in the herd. “I think he said that bay and the appaloosa were the two best ones to ride.”
“What are their names?” Nikki asked.
“You know, I have no idea. I’ll have to find out. I have a key to the tack room, but I’d need to know which saddle and bridle for which horse.” Tony smiled: Good. She was making plans to come back.
“Great! Maybe next time I’m here.” Nikki reached down for the halter on the big palomino mare, and she raised her head easily and nuzzled Nikki’s neck. Nikki giggled and Tony felt a wave of bliss roll over him – she was really enjoying herself. He was so happy to see her as carefree as a child. He’d never really cared about all the stuff his money bought, but being able to make someone else happy, well, that was what he wanted more than anything, and she did appear to be having a good time.
“I don’t know when we’ll get the chance to come back.” Tony tried to look serious. Uh-oh, Nikki thought. I guess I was a little too forward. What was I thinking, assuming he’d bring me back here? Then he added, “But that won’t keep us from spending time together.”
“Of course not. At least I hope not.” She picked a clover blossom and put it behind her ear, and he couldn’t help thinking it was the most beautiful flower he’d ever seen.
He closed the gate behind them and they headed back toward the house. “I don’t know how you’ll feel about it, but I’d like to see you at some point every day if that’s possible. What do you think?”
Nikki was startled, but in a good way. “That would be great! If we can’t, can we at least talk on the phone?”
“Of course. Often. I have a good feeling about all of this, I guess because I’ve enjoyed this weekend so much.” Tony pulled her down to sit beside him on one of the gliders on the patio. He draped his arm around her shoulders, and she took his other hand, threading their fingers together. Looking at her pale fingers entwined with his dark ones, his cock twitched a little. He wondered what his dark hand would look like on her pale breast, and tried not to think about it. Thinking like that would make the agreement they’d made very hard to keep, and he didn’t want to rush things. But damn, it would be good to find out.
Looking back up, he found her gazing at him like he was a sundae complete with whipped cream and a cherry on top, but the trepidation in those turquoise eyes made his heart spin. They practically screamed Don’t hurt me. He thought of all of the lonely nights he’d spent, even with Dottie sleeping beside him, and all the lonely nights Nikki had spent too. He hoped to make all of that a distant memory, but he knew he couldn’t do it in a day, a week, or even a month. It would take time. And they might not have as much of that as a younger couple, but they had enough. Taking her chin in his hand and pulling her face to his, he kissed her, a long, sweet, closed-mouth kiss, and he felt something hard and cold inside his chest start to crack wide open.
As he kissed her, Nikki’s mind raced. This was it, her last, best chance. This was a kind, honorable man, beautiful and wounded and hungry for something she had plenty of – care, concern, and the love he’d never found in his adult life with a woman who wanted to be with him in every way. Nikki almost felt like she was floating as she realized, If this guy is being straight with me, and I think he is, I might actually have a shot at a life. She’d asked for a friend and companion, but she had a feeling she’d found a lot more. If she’d been looking, she might’ve missed him. But he’d found her, and she was more than glad. She was ecstatic.
“This was the best day I’ve had in a long, long time.” Nikki turned to Tony on the porch. “Want to come in?”
“No. I’d better get going. Work will come early tomorrow morning, and we both need to get some sleep.” Tony slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. “But I don’t want to go a single day without seeing you if we can manage it, okay?” He planted a sweet little kiss on her mouth.
“I don’t want to go a day without seeing you either.” She kissed him back. He kissed her again, this one longer and hotter. Her knees felt like spaghetti, and she wanted him to hold her closer, but he pulled back so he could see her precious face and make a mental snapshot to keep it with him until he could see her again.
“I’ll call you before bed.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips, then turned to wave before he got into the Mercedes. She watched his taillights disappear down the street and out of sight.
Be
fore she could get her makeup off and change into her pajamas, the phone rang.
“Just wanted to say goodnight.” His voice was bright. In her mind, she could see his gorgeous smile.
“Thanks.” She hesitated, then took a chance and said, “I miss you already.”
“I miss you too, sweetie,” he told her without missing a beat. “Get some sleep, beautiful girl. Hope I see you tomorrow.”
“I hope so too.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Tony smiled when the text came in the next day. He’d planned to call her when he got home, but this was even better; Marla had sent her home early and she was cooking! Damn, he wished he had something nicer to change into. He didn’t know what she was cooking, and he didn’t care. It wasn’t about the food anyway.
When he got out of his work truck in front of her house he could smell whatever she had on the stove. He bounded up the front steps, but the knob was locked; two seconds later, the door popped open. “Hey, babe! Come on in!” She hugged him around the neck, and he planted a big kiss right on her mouth.
“I tried the knob. I thought the door would be unlocked since I called when I left work.” That seemed odd to Tony.
“I never leave my door unlocked. Anybody could just stroll in.” She’s cautious; that’s good, Tony thought. He wouldn’t have to worry about her if she approached everything so guardedly, and he definitely wanted her safe.
“What’s that amazing smell?” He inhaled deeply.
“Let’s see . . . a beef roast; roasted beets, turnips, and carrots with beet greens; and boiled okra. Oh, and a mixed greens salad. Hungry?”
“Starving! By the way, thanks for asking me to come over. I really wanted to see you,” Tony said, taking her hand.
“I can’t think of anything that would make food taste better than to eat it across the table from you.” She put her free hand on his cheek. “Let’s eat it before it gets cold.”