Read Leaves of Grass: First and Death-Bed Editions Page 10


  [Song of Myself]

  I CELEBRATE myself,

  And what I assume you shall assume,

  For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

  I loafe and invite my soul,

  I lean and loafe at my ease.... observing a spear of summer

  grass.

  Houses and rooms are full of perfumes.... the shelves are

  crowded with perfumes,

  I breathe the fragrance myself, and know it and like it,

  The distillation would intoxicate me also, but I shall not let it.

  The atmosphere is not a perfume.... it has no taste of the

  distillation . . . . it is odorless,

  It is for my mouth forever.... I am in love with it,

  I will go to the bank by the wood and become undisguised and

  naked,

  I am mad for it to be in contact with me.

  The smoke of my own breath,

  Echoes, ripples, and buzzed whispers.... loveroot, silkthread,

  crotch and vine,6

  My respiration and inspiration.... the beating of my heart....

  the passing of blood and air through my lungs,

  The sniff of green leaves and dry leaves, and of the shore and

  darkcolored sea-rocks, and of hay in the barn,

  The sound of the belched words of my voice.... words loosed to

  the eddies of the wind,

  A few light kisses.... a few embraces.... a reaching around of

  arms,

  The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs

  wag,

  The delight alone or in the rush of the streets, or along the fields

  and hillsides,

  The feeling of health.... the full-noon trill.... the song of me

  rising from bed and meeting the sun.

  Have you reckoned a thousand acres much? Have you reckoned

  the earth much?

  Have you practiced so long to learn to read?

  Have you felt so proud to get at the meaning of poems?

  Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess the origin

  of all poems,

  You shall possess the good of the earth and sun.... there are

  millions of suns left,

  You shall no longer take things at second or third hand.... nor

  look through the eyes of the dead.... nor feed on the

  spectres in books,

  You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things

  from me,

  You shall listen to all sides and filter them from yourself.

  I have heard what the talkers were talking.... the talk of the

  beginning and the end,

  But I do not talk of the beginning or the end.

  There was never any more inception than there is now,

  Nor any more youth or age than there is now;

  And will never be any more perfection than there is now,

  Nor any more heaven or hell than there is now.

  Urge and urge and urge,

  Always the procreant urge of the world.

  Out of the dimness opposite equals advance . . . . Always

  substance and increase,

  Always a knit of identity.... always distinction.... always a

  breed of life.

  To elaborate is no avail.... Learned and unlearned feel that it is so.

  Sure as the most certain sure.... plumb in the uprights, well

  entretied, braced in the beams,7

  Stout as a horse, affectionate, haughty, electrical,

  I and this mystery here we stand.

  Clear and sweet is my soul.... and clear and sweet is all that is not my soul.

  Lack one lacks both . . . . and the unseen is proved by the seen, Till that becomes unseen and receives proof in its turn.

  Showing the best and dividing it from the worst, age vexes age,

  Knowing the perfect fitness and equanimity of things, while they

  discuss I am silent, and go bathe and admire myself.

  Welcome is every organ and attribute of me, and of any man

  hearty and clean,

  Not an inch nor a particle of an inch is vile, and none shall be

  less familiar than the rest.

  I am satisfied.... I see, dance, laugh, sing;

  As God comes a loving bedfellow and sleeps at my side all night

  and close on the peep of the day,

  And leaves for me baskets covered with white towels bulging the

  house with their plenty,

  Shall I postpone my acceptation and realization and scream at

  my eyes,

  That they turn from gazing after and down the road,

  And forthwith cipher and show me to a cent,

  Exactly the contents of one, and exactly the contents of two, and

  which is ahead?

  Trippers and askers surround me,

  People I meet.... the effect upon me of my early life.... of the

  wardb and city I live in .... of the nation,

  The latest news.... discoveries, inventions, societies.... authors

  old and new,

  My dinner, dress, associates, looks, business, compliments, dues,

  The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,

  The sickness of one of my folks—or of myself . . . . or ill-doing....

  or loss or lack of money.... or depressions or exaltations,

  They come to me days and nights and go from me again,

  But they are not the Me myself.8

  Apart from the pulling and hauling stands what I am,

  Stands amused, complacent, compassionating, idle, unitary,

  Looks down, is erect, bends an arm on an impalpable certain rest,

  Looks with its sidecurved head curious what will come next,

  Both in and out of the game, and watching and wondering at it.

  Backward I see in my own days where I sweated through fog with

  linguists and contenders,

  I have no mockings or arguments.... I witness and wait.

  I believe in you my soul.... the other I am must not abase itself

  to you,

  And you must not be abased to the other.

  Loafe with me on the grass.... loose the stop from your throat,

  Not words, not music or rhyme I want.... not custom or lecture,

  not even the best,

  Only the lull I like, the hum of your valved voice.

  I mind how we lay in June, such a transparent summer

  morning;

  You settled your head athwart my hips and gently turned over

  upon me,

  And parted the shirt from my bosom-bone, and plunged your

  tongue to my barestript heart,

  And reached till you felt my beard, and reached till you held my

  feet.

  Swiftly arose and spread around me the peace and joy and

  knowledge that pass all the art and argument of the earth;

  And I know that the hand of God is the elderhand of my own,

  And I know that the spirit of God is the eldest brother of my

  own,

  And that all the men ever born are also my brothers.... and

  the women my sisters and lovers,

  And that a kelson of the creation is love;

  And limitless are leaves stiff or drooping in the fields,

  And brown ants in the little wells beneath them,

  And mossy scabs of the wormfence, and heaped stones, and elder

  and mullen and pokeweed.9

  A child said, What is the grass? fetching it to me with full

  hands;

  How could I answer the child? .... I do not know what it is any

  more than he.

  I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green stuff woven.

  Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,

  A scente
d gift and remembrancer designedly dropped,

  Bearing the owner’s name someway in the corners, that we may

  see and remark, and say Whose?

  Or I guess the grass is itself a child.... the produced babe of the vegetation.

  Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic,

  And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow

  zones,

  Growing among black folks as among white,

  Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff,c I give them the same,

  I receive them the same.

  And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves.

  Tenderly will I use you curling grass,

  It may be you transpire from the breasts of young men,

  It may be if I had known them I would have loved them;

  It may be you are from old people and from women, and from

  offspring taken soon out of their mothers’ laps,

  And here you are the mothers’ laps.

  This grass is very dark to be from the white heads of old

  mothers,

  Darker than the colorless beards of old men,

  Dark to come from under the faint red roofs of mouths.

  O I perceive after all so many uttering tongues!

  And I perceive they do not come from the roofs of mouths for

  nothing.

  I wish I could translate the hints about the dead young men and

  women,

  And the hints about old men and mothers, and the offspring

  taken soon out of their laps.

  What do you think has become of the young and old men?

  And what do you think has become of the women and children?

  They are alive and well somewhere;

  The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,

  And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the

  end to arrest it,

  And ceased the moment life appeared.

  All goes onward and outward.... and nothing collapses,

  And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.

  Has any one supposed it lucky to be born?

  I hasten to inform him or her it is just as lucky to die, and I

  know it.

  I pass death with the dying, and birth with the new-washed

  babe.... and am not contained between my hat and boots,

  And peruse manifold objects, no two alike, and every one good,

  The earth good, and the stars good, and their adjuncts all good.

  I am not an earth nor an adjunct of an earth,

  I am the mate and companion of people, all just as immortal and

  fathomless as myself;

  They do not know how immortal, but I know.

  Every kind for itself and its own.... for me mine male and

  female,

  For me all that have been boys and that love women,

  For me the man that is proud and feels how it stings to be

  slighted,

  For me the sweetheart and the old maid.... for me mothers and

  the mothers of mothers,

  For me lips that have smiled, eyes that have shed tears,

  For me children and the begetters of children.

  Who need be afraid of the merge?

  Undrape .... you are not guilty to me, nor stale nor discarded,

  I see through the broadcloth and gingham whether or no,

  And am around, tenacious, acquisitive, tireless . . . . and can never

  be shaken away.

  The little one sleeps in its cradle,

  I lift the gauze and look a long time, and silently brush away flies

  with my hand.

  The youngster and the redfaced girl turn aside up the bushy hill,

  I peeringly view them from the top.

  The suicide sprawls on the bloody floor of the bedroom,

  It is so .... I witnessed the corpse.... there the pistol had

  fallen.10

  The blab of the pave.... the tires of carts and sluff of bootsoles

  and talk of the promenaders,

  The heavy omnibus, the driver with his interrogating thumb, the

  clank of the shod horses on the granite floor,

  The carnival of sleighs, the clinking and shouted jokes and pelts

  of snowballs;

  The hurrahs for popular favorites.... the fury of roused mobs,

  The flap of the curtained litter—the sick man inside, borne to the

  hospital,

  The meeting of enemies, the sudden oath, the blows and fall,

  The excited crowd—the policeman with his star quickly working

  his passage to the centre of the crowd;

  The impassive stones that receive and return so many echoes,

  The souls moving along . . . . are they invisible while the least

  atom of the stones is visible?

  What groans of overfed or half-starved who fall on the flags

  sunstruck or in fits,

  What exclamations of women taken suddenly, who hurry home

  and give birth to babes,

  What living and buried speech is always vibrating here.... what

  howls restrained by decorum,

  Arrests of criminals, slights, adulterous offers made, acceptances,

  rejections with convex lips,

  I mind them or the resonance of them.... I come again and

  again.

  The big doors of the country-barn stand open and ready,

  The dried grass of the harvest-time loads the slow-drawn wagon,

  The clear light plays on the brown gray and green intertinged,

  The armfuls are packed to the sagging mow:

  I am there.... I help.... I came stretched atop of the load,

  I felt its soft jolts.... one leg reclined on the other,

  I jump from the crossbeams, and seize the clover and timothy,

  And roll head over heels, and tangle my hair full of wisps.

  Alone far in the wilds and mountains I hunt,

  Wandering amazed at my own lightness and glee,

  In the late afternoon choosing a safe spot to pass the night,

  Kindling a fire and broiling the freshkilled game,

  Soundly falling asleep on the gathered leaves, my dog and gun by

  my side.

  The Yankee clipper is under her three skysails .... she cuts the

  sparkle and scud,

  My eyes settle the land.... I bend at her prow or shout joyously

  from the deck.

  The boatmen and clamdiggers arose early and stopped for me,

  I tucked my trowser-ends in my boots and went and had a good

  time,

  You should have been with us that day round the chowder

  kettle.

  I saw the marriage of the trapper in the open air in the far

  west.... the bride was a red girl,

  Her father and his friends sat near by crosslegged and dumbly

  smoking.... they had moccasins to their feet and large thick

  blankets hanging from their shoulders;

  On a bank lounged the trapper.... he was dressed mostly in

  skins.... his luxuriant beard and curls protected his neck,

  One hand rested on his rifle . . . . the other hand held firmly the

  wrist of the red girl,

  She had long eyelashes.... her head was bare.... her coarse

  straight locks descended upon her voluptuous limbs and

  reached to her feet.

  The runaway slave came to my house and stopped outside,

  I heard his motions crackling the twigs of the woodpile,

  Through the swung half-door of the kitchen I saw him limpsey

  and weak,

  And went where he sat on a log, and led him in and assured him,

  And brought water and filled a tub for his sweated body and

  bruised feet,

  And
gave him a room that entered from my own, and gave him

  some coarse clean clothes,

  And remember perfectly well his revolving eyes and his

  awkwardness,

  And remember putting plasters on the galls of his neck and

  ankles;

  He staid with me a week before he was recuperated and passed

  north,

  I had him sit next me at table.... my firelock leaned in the

  corner.

  Twenty-eight young men bathe by the shore,

  Twenty-eight young men, and all so friendly,

  Twenty-eight years of womanly life, and all so lonesome.

  She owns the fine house by the rise of the bank,

  She hides handsome and richly drest aft the blinds of the

  window.

  Which of the young men does she like the best?

  Ah the homeliest of them is beautiful to her.

  Where are you off to, lady? for I see you,

  You splash in the water there, yet stay stock still in your room.

  Dancing and laughing along the beach came the twenty-ninth

  bather,

  The rest did not see her, but she saw them and loved them.

  The beards of the young men glistened with wet, it ran from their

  long hair,

  Little streams passed all over their bodies.

  An unseen hand also passed over their bodies,

  It descended tremblingly from their temples and ribs.

  The young men float on their backs, their white bellies swell to

  the sun.... they do not ask who seizes fast to them,