*CHAPTER XI.*
*CONCLUSION.*
Lena's fears that she too was going to have the fever proved only tootrue, for by the next day she was really ill.
All she had gone through for the last few weeks--the fear of discovery,and misery of concealment, joined with the knowledge of how wrongly shewas behaving--had tried the child. Though, alas! she had been, as allchildren are, naughty over and over again, she had never beforeconcealed a fault and continued to do so, as she had now done week afterweek; and the continual struggle that had gone on in her mind betweentruth and right, and the pride and jealousy for love, that were suchstrong features of her character, had told upon body as well as mind,and made her fall an easy prey to the low fever that had broken out inthe village and neighbourhood of Sidcombe; and for the next few days shehad but a very dim and hazy idea of what was going on around her.
Fortunately the attack was in a mild form, and the weather was muchcooler than it had been before the fever broke out, heavy rain havingfallen, which cooled the air and revived the sick and drooping, and thedoctor was soon able to pronounce his little patient on the high road torecovery.
When Lena first began to take notice of who was beside her, sheexpressed no astonishment at seeing her mother's face bending over herand hearing her whisper a few loving words in answer to her. "What isthe matter, Mama?"
"You have been ill, dear, but, please God, you will soon be well again."
Lena was quite satisfied, and asked no more questions--it only seemednatural to have Papa and Mama beside her; but gradually therecollections of the day before she was taken ill came back to her, andshe remembered that it was Gertrude and Miss Gifford who had been withher then. The latter was still constantly beside her, but it wasGertrude she wanted to see and speak to, as she remembered everythingclearly. Had she told Miss Gifford? She wondered if she had; shecertainly was not angry, for she could not have been kinder to any onethan she was to Lena.
"Mama, where is Gertrude?" she asked.
"Gone home, dear, for we were afraid of her being taken ill also if sheremained."
After a few minutes' silence Lena murmured, "My letter; I never wroteit."
"My darling," whispered Mrs. Graham, leaning over her child and placingher hand lovingly on her forehead, "There is no need to write--Gertrudehas told me all."
"O Mama, and are you angry? Do you still love me, when I am so wicked?"
"Still love you, my little one! You cannot doubt that we all forgiveyou fully and freely. O my child, never fear to tell us everything andanything you do or think."
Lena's arms were round her mother's neck in a moment, and she said, asshe clung fondly to her, "No, Mama, I never, never will. It was not youI was afraid of, but Papa. I thought he would be so angry."
Lena did not think Papa stern, or one likely to cause any one fear, whenlater that day he spoke a few loving words to his child; and as shekissed him, she felt that never again would she think him stern. Heronly wonder was how she could ever have feared him, or doubted the loveof either of them ceasing because she had done wrong.
As Lena lay still that evening, her hand clasped in Mama's, and her eyesfixed upon Papa, who was reading out her letters from Milly andGertrude, Lena felt so happy and contented. There was no longer anyfear in her heart, for there was nothing to be hidden, and the child'sheart swelled with gratitude as she thought how good every one had beenand now were to her.
When the letters were finished, Lena asked suddenly, "How is littleMary; is she better?"
A moment's silence followed, and then Mama said, "Little Mary has goneto that home where she will never have pain or suffering more, my Lena;she is with her Saviour now, dear."
"Dead, Mama--dead! and she was only twelve years old, just my age. Herpoor mother"----
And her eyes filled with tears as she added, "And David, how sorry hemust be, he was so fond of her!"
"Yes, dear, we must pity them, but not little Mary herself; she ishappy, perfectly happy now."
"O Mama, I am so glad I did not die too, for I was not good like her,and I hadn't told you and Papa. I meant to that very night, but MissGifford would not let me write."
"God has been very good to us all, as He always is, Lena, and has sparedmy little girl to us, and given her another opportunity of living andworking for Him."
"Indeed, indeed I will try."
"Now, dear, you must not talk any more or get excited. We feared totell you about little Mary, in case it should upset you while you wereso weak, but Papa and I decided that if you asked we would tell you thetruth; for we have all decided, have we not, that we are to have noconcealments or deceptions any more,--have we not?" she repeated.
"No, I never will; I mean," she added humbly, "I will try not to."
After that day Lena grew rapidly better, and was soon able to be takendown to the sitting-room, where she could lie on the sofa before theopen window, inhaling the cool sea-breezes that brought back health tothe weakened frame, and colour to the pale cheeks.
Soon the day arrived when the doctor pronounced the invalid strongenough to undertake the journey home; but before they started she beggedfor and was allowed to see Mrs. Roberts, the poor widowed mother, whogladly spoke of her little Mary, and she told Lena much of the simpleholy life her child had tried to lead; and it comforted the poor motherto hear how her child had been, although unconsciously, instrumental inleading and strengthening another in the right way; and it interestedLena much to hear of the girl who, though she had seen her but once ortwice, had still been able to exercise such an influence for good on herlife.
It was the contrast between her own feeling of wrong-doing, and theaccount David gave them of how Mary had tried to act, that made such adeep impression on Lena's mind, and had been the means of bringing her,in the true spirit of humility, to sue for pardon and strength to dowhat was right. How thankful and happy Lena now felt that she had toldall, and that there was no longer in her heart or life anything that shedesired to hide from her parents.
Oh, if children would only remember that the good or evil they doaffects, not only themselves, but may, both by example and bearing, havea powerful influence over their companions, I am sure one and all wouldstrive to deserve the name that David had bestowed on Mary Roberts, andbe, in deed and in truth, little Christians. How happy they would be,not only themselves, but would make all around them equally so!
Long ere the autumn passed into winter, Lena was well and strong, andAstbury was no longer looked upon or called a new home; and althoughthey were not able, now the cold and wet weather had set in, to spendtheir time in the fields and garden as at first, they found there werepleasures and joys in a country life in winter as well as in summer, andsunshine reigned indoors, for Lena and her sisters were very happy andloving together. Storms came occasionally, as among all small people;but there was not only love, but perfect trust and confidence betweenthem all now; and when that is the case, there must be happiness in thehome circle.
Christmas was drawing very near, and with it the prospect of Aunt Mary'spromised visit. No word had been said to Miss Somerville about Lena'swrong-doing and its long concealment. Mrs. Graham wished Lena to tellher Aunt herself, and though at first she shrank from the task, sheacknowledged that she ought to do so, for, as she said to her mother, "Iknow I ought to, Mama, for Gerty saved me the pain of telling you,though now I should not want any one to tell you or Papa anything forme, but then it was different."
Christmas also brought back, for her first holiday, Bessie Freeling fromthe boarding-school that she had looked forward to with so much dread,and that she had found was not so dreadful in reality as inanticipation. Like many other things in this world that we dread andthink of as misfortunes, it turned out, as is so often the case, to be areal blessing when it came. Bessie was beginning to see that runningabout wild in the country was not all that was required to make lifeeither useful or happy.
The first evening of Aunt Mary's arrival Lena joined her in her ownroom. Miss Somerville sat quietly in her chair before the fire, andlistened to Lena as she poured forth the account of her doings sincethey had parted in the summer, ending with, "I know, Auntie, that youmust be disappointed and grieved with me after all my promises."
"I did not expect those promises to be quite fulfilled, Lena," was herAunt's answer.
"Did you think so badly of me as that, then, Aunt Mary?"
"Not badly, darling. I fear I thought too much of my little niece, andhelped to spoil her by being too indulgent and easy."
"Then why,--what do you mean, Auntie?"
"I mean, darling, that you spoke so confidently, and as if you were sosure of your own strength; and Lena, you know now that our own strengthis but utter weakness when we are tempted."
Lena's eyes filled with tears, but she made no answer as her Aunt,drawing her close to her, went on lovingly to say, "However sorry I amabout the past, I am now much more happy and hopeful about your futurethan I was when we parted in the summer, for I feared you would havemany trials and temptations to go through, that you little dreamed of inthe quiet life we led together."
"You warned me, Auntie; you said I must learn to give in, and share withMilly and Lucy."
"Yes, dear, experience teaches us many lessons, and God has been verygood to you: He has shown you the misery of wrong-doing."
"Yes indeed, Auntie, I was very miserable," interrupted Lena.
"But, my darling, if that misery has taught you to be humble and trustless in your own strength, I cannot be sorry, but thankful for it."
"And you won't love me less?"
"Lena!" was all her Aunt said, but it was enough.
"No, no, Auntie, I didn't mean that; I know you won't. You will be likePapa and Mama, who only seem to love me more, if that is possible;only," she added with a smile, "Mama says the love was always there, butI wouldn't see it."
"Thank God, dear Lena, that you do see it at last."
"It was only sometimes I didn't, when I thought they liked Milly best,but she deserved it if they had. O Auntie, she has been so good, and sohas little Lucy; they never said one unkind word when I came home,though I had behaved so badly."
A loud knock, and an impatient "Do let us in, Aunt Mary," from Lucy,interrupted them.
Lena ran and opened the door, and there stood Lucy, all eagerness andexcitement, and beside her was Milly, holding a big parcel in her arms,her face beaming with delight.
"It's for you, Lena; see, it is addressed 'Miss Graham.' It's from Mrs.Clifford," she added softly.
"Then it must be meant for you," answered Lena, flushing scarlet anddrawing back.
"Never mind, Lena; open it quickly, do, and see what is inside," burstout Lucy impatiently.
"It is meant for you, Lena dear, so don't be afraid to open it."
"I heard from Mrs. Clifford this morning that the box was sent," saidher mother, coming in.
Thus bidden, Lena, with her sister's help, undid the string and took offthe paper. Opening the box, Lena took out and laid on the floor twoparcels directed to Milly and herself. Then she drew out one withLucy's name on it. There was no mistaking what Lucy's was.
"A doll for me! Oh, how lovely! My first Christmas present!" sheexclaimed in delight.
Lena looked at hers. On the paper was written, "For dear Lena, fromMilly's godmama." Opening it, she saw a pretty soft brown hat, with along curling ostrich feather of the same colour, and looking up she sawMilly holding one exactly the same in her hand.
"O Lena, how nice! We shall be exactly like, I am so glad. Aren't theylovely?"
"Mama," said Lena, after a pause, "may I give Lucy the feather? shedeserves it, I don't;" and she tried to unfasten it as she spoke.
"Wait a moment, my child. Ask Lucy first if she would like it."
It was difficult to get Lucy to attend to anything they said, soabsorbed was she in the delights of her new doll; when she did hear, sheasked in surprise, "Give it me! what for? It's your present, Lena; youshould not give away presents--it is wrong."
"But, Lucy, you forget what I did to Milly's white one, and let you bearthe blame."
"Oh, I didn't mind; at least, I knew I did not mean to spoil thefeather; but I kicked it, you know."
"Do let me give it to her, Mama," Lena pleaded.
"I don't want it, Lena, I don't want it; you and Milly will have hatsalike. I mustn't speak of the white one. Milly and I decided we neverwould; and Bessie said she would think me very mean if I did, and Iwon't."
"How good you are all to me!" said Lena, giving her little sister akiss.
"That's because you are so much nicer now than you used to be--you arenot always"---- Here Lucy stopped, abashed at Milly's indignantexclamation.
"Always what?" asked Lena after a moment's pause.
"Always wanting to be first, and going on about being the eldest. Ilove you ever so much more now since you have been to Sidcombe;" and thechild looked round at them all, as much as to say, "There now, I havespoken out what I really think."
"Dear Lena, I should rather have had that testimony to your characterthan all the promises of last summer, and I am sure Mama agrees withme," said Aunt Mary.
Mama's answer was a loving kiss as she placed the hat on Lena's head.Then doing the same to Milly, said, "Now run down together, and showthem to Papa, and ask what he thinks about them; and then put them awayin your own room until Christmas morning, that day of joy, peace, andgood-will towards man."
As the two girls left the room together, Miss Somerville said to hersister, "They are very fond of each other."
"Yes, dear," was the answer. "It makes me very happy to see theiraffection. I know the value of a sister's love, and I trust that noroot of jealousy may ever again spring up to interrupt their perfectfriendship."
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