The cafeteria was virtually empty. A couple of tables away a very old lady sat slurping a cup of tea, her Zimmer frame by her side. A sad expression lost in the pastel-coloured walls. Kalle looked at her and thought: I have no family either.
But, as he had said, this was a sadness he had carried for a long time now, not something new, merely a fact and a gnawing emptiness. He took a deep breath through his mouth, let it out again and said, ‘Have you given it any thought? That business this morning?’
‘I didn’t know it existed,’ said Flora. ‘I haven’t seen it before.’
‘What do you mean?’
Flora swept together a few sugar crystals that were scattered across the table as she tried to find the right words. When all the sugar had been gathered into a little pile, she said, ‘There’s a…representation of the other. An image. I thought it was only death who had one. And we both saw the same thing, didn’t we? Death…she shows herself in different ways to different people, depending on the image we have of her. But this…’
‘It was like a kind of magnetic pull.’
‘Yes. But it’s only an image. To enable us to see something. Of this…power. Or principle. It can’t do anything by itself.’
‘How do you know that?’
Flora gave a small shrug. ‘I just do.’ She reached across the table and Kalle took her hand. She looked at his square plaster and shook her head. ‘I’m sorry I dragged you into all this.’
‘Are you?’
‘For your sake, yes. Not for mine.’
‘That’s all right, then.’
They sat there holding hands. Out of the corner of his eye Kalle could see that the old woman had shifted her interest from the wall to them. She was resting her chin on her hands and staring at them. Kalle leaned over to Flora.
‘Are you scared?’
‘Yes. You?’
‘Yes.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘What are we going to do?’
‘I think…’ said Flora, ‘we ought to speak to my grandmother.’
They were getting ready to go when the old woman got to her feet with some difficulty and shuffled over to them on her Zimmer frame. When she reached them she stood there for a few seconds with her toothless mouth hanging open, looking from one to the other. Then she said, ‘I’m scared too.’
Kalle didn’t know what to say. But Flora moved her face close to the woman’s and said, ‘You really don’t need to be.’
The woman’s eyes widened slightly. ‘Don’t I?’
‘No,’ said Flora. ‘I promise.’
The woman nodded, made a few chewing movements with her mouth, then dragged herself off towards the lifts.
Elvy’s friend Hagar had called round, and they were both appalled at what had happened to Kalle in a way that he found not entirely unpleasant. It was a long time since someone had cosseted him. He accepted an invitation to lie down on the sofa while Elvy brought him coffee and biscuits.
Flora had told Kalle that Hagar was more or less up to speed with the whole thing, and she went through everything that had happened since she and Kalle went to the Heath together for the first time.
When Flora got to the bit about how Kalle had dealt with the doctor, which won him an admiring glance from Elvy, Kalle’s phone rang. ROLAND was showing on the display. Kalle excused himself and went into the kitchen so that Flora could finish the story without him. He sat down and took the call.
‘Hi Roland.’
‘Hi there. I just wanted to…how did it all go?’
Roland’s voice sounded like the morning after the night before, and Kalle looked at the clock. Half past ten. Presumably Roland had just woken up; Kalle hadn’t even managed to take in his own tiredness yet.
‘Well, it went…it went…’
‘Have you got a cold?’
Kalle snorted, and only a small amount of air came out through the hole in the plaster with a whistling noise. He gave Roland a shortened version of the story, missing out the bit about the fly and the bird disappearing into the visitor’s mouth. He tried to gloss over the supernatural elements of the whole thing in general; Roland already thought it was weird enough. But he had seen what he had seen.
‘OK,’ said Roland. ‘This is all completely crazy. But there’s a box in my garage. What am I going to do with it?’
That particular problem hadn’t crossed Kalle’s mind. After their experiences in the Heath, any other worries had seemed unimportant. But that wasn’t the case for Roland, of course, who had a box full of body parts in his garage.
‘I’ve got someone from one of the weekly celebrity gossip magazines coming at three, and…well, the whole place stinks even though the garage doors are shut.’
‘A gossip magazine?’
‘Yes, what can you do? But you can bet your life they’ll…the last time they wanted to know why I had a swing in the garden when I haven’t got any kids, I mean it’s there for my brother’s kids, but then the article made it look as if…anyway, that doesn’t matter, but they’re bound to ask questions.’
Kalle couldn’t help smiling. What’s the smell in Roland’s garage? Roland says it’s so-and-so, but our reporter…
‘I’ll call you back,’ he said, and hung up.
In the living room Flora had finished telling her story, and the three of them were sitting talking, their heads close together. Flora looked up as Kalle walked in.
‘Who was that?’
‘Roland. It’s the box. He…he wants to get rid of it.’
Hagar, who was slightly hard of hearing, looking enquiringly at Flora. ‘Who are you talking about?’
‘Roland,’ said Flora. ‘Kalle’s boss. From Tropicos.’
‘Did he just call here?’
‘Yes, he—’
Hagar clapped her hands. ‘But that’s fantastic!’ She raised one forefinger in the air to emphasise her point: ‘Now he’s one of the few really stylish men left in this country. What did he want?’
Elvy raised her eyebrows meaningfully; Kalle went over to Hagar and said in a louder voice, ‘He wants to get rid of that box!’
Hagar looked around as if she couldn’t work out what the problem was.
‘Oh?’ she said. ‘Well in that case we’d better go and get it, hadn’t we?’
On the way out to Roland’s place they stopped at Bauhaus and bought two sacks of peat-based compost. Hagar had an idea that it ought to be quicklime, but none of them knew where to get hold of it, or what it was actually used for. It had something to do with the decomposition process, but that wasn’t really the problem here.
Kalle still thought they ought to go to the police, particularly after seeing his father’s reaction when the police were mentioned, but both Elvy and Flora were dead against the idea.
‘I’m more or less one hundred per cent convinced,’ said Elvy, ‘that if we turn to the authorities we’ll end up being the guilty party. In one way or another.’
Kalle couldn’t suppress a huge yawn. The lack of sleep was beginning to make itself felt. Flora was resting her head on her hand, her eyes half-closed.
‘I don’t get it,’ said Kalle. ‘This Association. Who are they? What do they want?’
Elvy snorted. ‘We’d better ask your father.’
Before Kalle had the chance to say anything, she placed her hand on his shoulder. ‘No offence. The sins of the fathers and so on. I don’t believe in all that.’
‘Good,’ said Kalle, who had no idea what she was talking about.
When they reached Solberga, Hagar started pointing and exclaiming at the charming houses. Elvy, who had remained quiet for a while, suddenly said to Kalle, ‘Profit. The greatest possible profit. I think that’s what they’re after. As if everything were a machine, and it has to work as efficiently as possible, spitting out as much profit as possible. That’s it. Profit and usefulness.’
‘Like the government recommendations on healthy eating,’ said Kalle, turning into Roland’s drive. This earned him the first laugh he had heard fro
m Elvy. A high, chirruping laugh that blew away a fraction of his tiredness.
They got out of the van and Roland came towards them from the house. It was obvious that he had already started to get ready for the interview. His hair was neatly blow-dried, and in spite of a hard night his face looked fresher and less lined than the previous evening. When he caught sight of Elvy and Hagar he grew a little taller and threw his arms wide.
‘You must be Elvy and Hagar. I’ve heard so much about you.’
Kalle and Flora glanced sideways at one another. Kalle had mentioned Elvy and Hagar for the first time in his conversation with Roland an hour and a half ago. Flora unloaded the bags of compost while Roland shook hands with the ladies. Hagar bobbed a little curtsey and said, ‘You look even better in real life!’
Roland inclined his head. ‘It must be a good twenty years since anyone said that! But thank you. You’ve made my day!’
Before Hagar could expand on her theme, Elvy said, ‘This box.’
Roland’s smile dimmed only slightly as he made a sweeping gesture in the direction of the garage, inviting them to follow him. ‘I really do apologise for putting you to all this trouble, but it’s impossible for me to keep it here.’
Roland looked around. ‘Kalle, could you back the van up?’ The rest of the group moved towards the garage door, and Roland pointed at Kalle’s face. ‘You look like shit.’
‘Thanks,’ said Kalle. ‘I don’t suppose you could spare some of that cream you use?’
Roland smiled, and the laughter lines that had survived various treatments became visible. ‘It doesn’t work miracles,’ he said, following the others.
Kalle reversed the van up to the door and got out. Even though the back seats weren’t folded down, there would still be room for the box. He took a deep breath before he walked into the garage.
Elvy and Flora were busy pouring the compost into the box, while Hagar and Roland stood to one side, mouths covered with their blouse or shirt collar. The stench inside the garage was like walking straight into a wall, and Kalle swallowed a couple of times to stop himself from throwing up.
He waved to Roland and Hagar to indicate that they might as well go outside, and they gratefully complied. Elvy and Flora had emptied the contents of the sacks into the box, and it was now full to the brim. Kalle found a roll of gaffer tape and they cut up the plastic sacks and taped them over the top of the box. When they had finished they glanced at each other, then ran outside to breathe.
A short distance away Roland and Hagar were walking around the garden. She had tucked her arm through his and Roland was chatting away, pointing out various trees and shrubs. Kalle shook his head. He never turns it off.
Elvy nodded back towards the garage. ‘That was hell. What a mess.’
‘Do you think…’ Kalle began, then didn’t know how to continue.
‘What?’ asked Flora.
Kalle made a vague gesture somewhere in between Flora and Elvy. ‘Do you think your…your grandfather…your…might be…?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Elvy, compressing her lips into a thin line. ‘I didn’t look.’
Kalle dropped the subject and opened the back doors of the van. The three of them managed to manoeuvre the box over to the van and heave it inside. Roland and Hagar came back, and Kalle asked, ‘Roland, I don’t suppose you’ve got anything to put over our mouths?’
It would be unbearable to travel with the box in the back of the van, and Kalle wished he’d thought of it when they were in Bauhaus. Fortunately Roland slapped his forehead and said, ‘Of course. Idiot.’
He went into the garage and rummaged through various drawers until he found what he was looking for: an unopened pack of dust masks. He handed it to Kalle.
‘I was going to do up the bathroom, but…’ He shrugged his shoulders, and Kalle realised the bathroom renovation had suffered more or less the same fate as the plans for the cutting torch. An idea that came to nothing, as was so often the case with Roland.
Roland looked at his watch and clapped his hands.
‘I don’t really know what to say.’ He looked at Elvy and Hagar and bowed. ‘Lovely to meet you. If I can be of any further assistance, then I am at your disposal.’ The memory of what had been said during the night lingered on, and Roland knew it. In a more serious tone of voice he added, ‘Truly.’
When they got in the van the stench wasn’t as bad as Kalle had feared. The compost and the plastic helped. They wouldn’t even need the masks; driving with the windows down would probably be enough. Roland waved as they set off, and they all waved back. Kalle caught one last glimpse of Roland outside his house—the image that would no doubt turn up in the gossip magazine sooner or later.
As they pulled out onto the motorway Elvy leaned over to Hagar, who was gazing blankly into space, and asked, ‘Did you get his autograph?’
‘Better than that,’ said Hagar, patting the pocket of her blouse. ‘I got his phone number.’
Flora turned around. ‘Hagar, please!’
‘What’s the matter?’
Kalle groped for Flora’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly. It was one of Roland’s foibles that he gave out his phone number right, left and centre, which meant he had to change the number roughly every six months. Women called, and in the worst-case scenario he ended up in Södertälje in the middle of the night. It was a mixture of egocentricity and thoughtlessness. Instead of a lock of his hair, he gave away his number. Same idea, but with more complicated consequences.
After a quarter of an hour Kalle was reversing up to their destination, Hagar’s garden shed. They stowed the box in among garden tools covered in cobwebs, then camouflaged it with an old oilcloth tarpaulin. Hagar’s first husband had built and used the shed, and since their divorce thirty-five years ago it had never been touched.
When they had closed the half-rotten door and dusted off their hands, they stood outside the shed in a disparate little group. Kalle’s brain wasn’t working properly; he suddenly felt completely exhausted. He looked at Hagar’s unassuming functionalist house thirty metres away, seeing faces and shapes in the crumbling plaster.
Hagar broke the silence by clapping her hands and saying, ‘So! What now?’
There wasn’t really a satisfactory answer to that question, so they went inside for tea and sponge cake while they talked things over. Something had to be done, but nobody knew exactly what. What bothered Elvy most was ‘reinforcements in the enemy camp’, as she put it: the man who had come to visit Kalle that morning.
‘Perhaps you two should come and stay with me for a while?’ she suggested. ‘Just to be on the safe side.’
Flora gathered up a little pile of cake crumbs, tossed them in her mouth and said, ‘Until?’
‘Until when?’
‘Exactly. Until when?’
‘Oh, you mean…well, I don’t really know. Until…things settle down.’
‘And when will that be?’
Before Elvy had time to come up with an answer, Kalle chipped in, ‘I’ve got a feeling it…that thing would find us anyway. Wherever we are.’
Elvy looked at him sharply. ‘On what are you basing this feeling?’
‘I just…that’s how I feel.’
Elvy’s eyes were locked onto his, but after a few seconds she sniffed, nodded, and said, ‘Fine.’
Kalle yawned. The back of his neck was about to give way, and his head kept drooping down towards his chest. He went over to the sink and sluiced his eyes with cold water, trying not to wet the dressing. The blood was throbbing underneath it, sending out constant pulses of pain that sparked flashes of orange before his eyes. He turned to the others.
‘OK, we need to make a decision. I want to go home and get some sleep.’
Nothing was decided. Kalle and Flora went home to sleep. As they drove away from Hagar’s house, Kalle glanced back and said, ‘Your grandmother…she’s pretty tough, isn’t she?’
‘Yes,’ said Flora. ‘And she really wants to do somethin
g. She… kind of messed up last time.’
‘What do you mean, last time?’
‘Last time we had a chance. Before they closed the Heath.’
A cold draught was blowing through the apartment when they walked in, and they were both on the alert straightaway. However, it was just that the window the man had opened was still ajar. Kalle closed it and fell into bed without getting undressed. He closed his eyes and heard Flora lie down next to him. Then he heard nothing more.
It was dark outside when he woke up. He was alone in the bed. He could hear the music to the video game Double Dash playing quietly in the living room. He lay there for a while looking at the streetlight outside the window; it seemed to be floating all by itself like the smallest moon in the universe, orbiting around Kalle Liljewall. His nose felt blocked, and he tentatively tried blowing air through it, but without success. He pressed a little harder and a thin stream of air forced its way out of the battered channels and the hole in the dressing.
Daddy. My very own darling daddy.
Pain stabbed through his stomach, and he suddenly felt very sorry for himself. Nothing he did turned out right. Everything just went wrong, however hard he tried. He had finally met someone he liked, and where had that taken him? You only had to summarise the events of the past twenty-four hours to see that it had taken him even further down the toilet than he had been before.
Why can things never be simple?
His childhood, his mother, his youth, his…everything scrolled past, and he just wanted to curl up in a ball beneath the covers and never come out again. If you stick your nose out, it gets smashed. Lie low. Lie low, for fuck’s sake.
I want to be alone.
He was more suited to being alone, he wasn’t made to be with someone. He could sit here in his apartment, watching his TV programs and feeling bloody sorry for himself, but at least he would have some kind of order in his life. Yes. Sit in an armchair, let the hours go by. Be alone. That would suit him.
When Flora came in half an hour later, these thoughts had been going round and round in Kalle’s head in an ever-descending spiral, and as she sat down on the bed he said, ‘Flora. I can’t do this anymore.’