Nerves gathered in his chest, tightening his muscles, making it hard to breathe. He wasn’t sure why he’d said those things. Okay, yeah, that was bullshit. He knew why. Because he was a total asshat. Because she’d dug her way in and gotten closer than he’d ever let anyone else get. And because that fact scared the shit out of him. Fucked with his head. Shut down every rational brain cell when he thought of her not walking away from this.
He dropped his hand when he realized it was shaking. Curling his fingers into a fist, he flexed and relaxed his hand, waiting for it to calm the raging anger and fear inside him. Waiting for Olivia to come back out so he could apologize.
He looked toward the cockpit door. When long minutes passed and she still didn’t return, he swallowed his pride and went after her.
Laughter echoed from beyond the door. Those nerves drew tighter as he pulled it open and looked inside.
The navigator turned his direction and grinned. “It’s party central in here. Y’all are really strange, ’cause I’d rather be out there in those comfortable chairs than stuck in here with this guy.”
Ben pointed his thumb toward the pilot. Tony frowned and flipped him the bird.
They were good guys, friends of Ryder’s, but Landon wasn’t here for them.
He looked down at Olivia, sitting in the jump seat to his right, her arms crossed over her chest, her gaze fixed on the instruments panel past him, trying hard not to look his direction.
She was pissed. She had every right to be.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked quietly.
A muscle in her jaw ticked. “I’m pretty sure you said everything that needed to be said.”
“Livy,” he sighed. “Five minutes, okay?”
Tony and Ben were both silent. Landon wasn’t sure what Olivia had told them, but he didn’t care. He had to fix this.
“Fine.” She pushed to her feet. “Five minutes.”
She moved past him back into the cabin. And, feeling like a complete asshole, Landon pulled the door closed and followed.
“Look,” Olivia said when she reached the first row of captain’s chairs. “Ben said we’ve got like eight hours. So just say what you want to say and get it over with. I’m tired and would like to take a nap before we get there.”
He captured her hand. Surprise filled her eyes when she turned to look at him, but he didn’t let it stop him. He moved into her, pulled her close so her body brushed his, wrapped his arms around her, and closed his eyes.
She tensed against him, tried to push away, but he held on tighter, not letting her go.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m a total dickhead. I didn’t mean those things. I’m just . . . I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never been so afraid. It’s my fault. All of this is my fault.”
She was silent. But slowly, her muscles relaxed, and her fists unclenched against his shirt until her palm was lying right over his heart. “No, it’s not.”
He held her closer, knowing she was just trying to make him feel better. Knowing he didn’t deserve it. “Yes, it is. If I’d been strong enough to keep my distance . . . If I’d just stopped texting you, none of this would have happened. But I couldn’t because . . . Because you were like this ray of sunshine in my dark, dreary life, and I . . . I wanted you. I’ve wanted you ever since you opened your eyes in that hospital room in Seattle. You’re stronger than I am, Livy. So much stronger. I lied when I said that. I don’t know why I said it. You haven’t once freaked out on me, and I’ve lost it several times now. I won’t be able to handle it if something happens to you. I can’t lose you. I won’t . . .”
Words clogged in his throat. He sifted one hand into her hair and lowered his face to her neck, holding her close, letting her heat and warm breath infuse his skin, just needing this. Needing her.
“Dammit, Landon.” Her hands moved around his waist. Her fingertips slid up his spine. She turned her lips against his throat. “You won’t lose me. You can’t. Just don’t shut me out.”
He didn’t know how to stop himself from doing that. Distance was the element that had kept him alive for thirty-two years. But in that moment, as he held her and soaked her in, he knew why the DIA kept the men in his unit isolated. Because caring, loving someone, did make you weak. It impaired your judgment. It made you vulnerable in all the ways someone in his line of work couldn’t be vulnerable.
Her lips pressed gently against his throat, and all the reasons he couldn’t have her, all the reasons they shouldn’t be together disappeared in the ether.
He drew back, lowered his head, and captured her lips. She groaned and lifted to his kiss, her fingertips tightening against his back, her warm, slick tongue sliding over his until all the blood in his body shot straight into his groin.
No hesitation. No more anger. She was stronger than him. So much stronger it blew him away every time he thought of it. She had every reason to hate him, and yet she was showering him with all the love and warmth he didn’t deserve but couldn’t seem to live without.
His fingers curled in her hair, and, cupping her scalp, he tipped her head and kissed her deeper, tasting her sweetness, her fear, the same damn longing he’d been wrestling with for hours. His other hand slid down to her waist, then up under her T-shirt. His fingertips brushed the soft skin of her lower spine, and she moaned against his tongue, pushing her breasts into his chest.
This was what he wanted. Just her. No more worry. No more fear. When he was with her, he felt human. He felt normal. When he was with her, part of him actually believed he deserved to be happy.
He tipped his head the other way and kissed her again, sliding his tongue along her teeth, nipping at her bottom lip, dipping in for a sinful, erotic taste that made him light-headed. His other hand slid from her hair to her waist and then up under her shirt to skim the soft, soft skin of her belly. She sucked in a breath. Her hands moved down his sides and up under his shirt. Tingles rushed all over his skin wherever she touched.
He wanted her naked. Needed to make some part of this up to her. Needed her. Any part of her he could get.
He pulled his mouth from hers, desperate now to feel her skin against his, and yanked the shirt over her head. Dropping it on the floor, he found her mouth again and reached for the hook on the back of her bra.
“Landon . . .” Her voice was breathy. His name a plea on her lips as they brushed his, the sound sending his libido raging even higher. Her silky fingers darted up and under his shirt, and then she pulled back from his mouth, tugging his shirt up and off as she stepped back toward the long sofa behind her that ran the length of one whole wall. Desire filled her emerald eyes. The same searing heat rushing through his veins. The same damn yearning shutting down his brain, making him forget everything but her. “Come here.”
She reached for him, and he was powerless to do anything but give her what she wanted. His hand grazed her shoulder, sliding her bra strap free. He watched as the soft cotton garment fell to the floor, revealing the plump, perfect breasts he’d kissed and sucked last night. The ones he wanted to taste again right now.
“God, you are perfect. Perfect and so damn beautiful.” He stepped into her, slanted his mouth over hers once more, and kissed her deeply as he cupped her right breast in his hand and brushed his thumb over her nipple.
A shudder ran through her. Her warm, slick tongue teased his and he repeated the motion, while he lifted his other hand to her neglected breast and did the same. The tips of her nipples grew taut and firm against his fingers. Blood raged in his cock as he dragged his lips from her mouth across her jaw, then worked his way down her throat, desperate to make her feel good.
“Mm, Landon. I love that.”
And he loved the sound of his name on her lips. Loved the breathy cadence of her voice. Her eyes slid closed. She tipped her head back. He dragged his tongue over her collarbone and groaned himself as he lifted her breast in his
hand and drew it toward his mouth.
Soft. Sweet. He laved his tongue over her nipple, loving the way she arched into him. Loving that she didn’t even care that the pilot and navigator were only feet away behind the cockpit door. Loving that she needed him so much she didn’t even notice.
“You taste so good.” He moved to her other breast, teased her nipple with his tongue, and then drew her deep and suckled. “Like spun sugar.” She groaned, and her fingers threaded in his hair, her nails scraping along his scalp until tingles rushed all down his spine. “Wickedly delicious.”
Those talented fingers clenched around his locks, and she yanked, dragging his head up. A quick shot of pain echoed from the spot, but then her mouth was on his, her tongue flicking over his with long, languid, wet strokes, her hands quickly wrestling with the button on his jeans until all he could think about was how tight and wet she’d be when he slid inside her. How incredible she felt clenching around his length.
His hands found her face, slid around her back and down her naked spine. The button on his pants popped free, and she quickly slid the zipper down. His fingers grazed the back waistband of her jeans, slid over the rounded globes of her buttocks. He closed his hands over her perfect ass and pulled her into him, pressing the length of his cock against her belly.
“Feel that?” He kissed her. “That’s what you do to me. How much you excite me.” He tipped his head the other way and kissed her again. “God, Livy. I need you.”
“You have me,” she whispered, turning her hand palm up against his belly and slipping her fingers inside his boxers.
His skin grew hot and tingly. Fire burned through his hips and groin. She pushed his pants down his hips, freeing his cock, and then her silky soft hand closed around his length, sliding slowly from base to tip until he groaned.
“Mm,” she said against his lips. “That’s what I want.”
That wasn’t close to what he wanted, but he loved everything she did. Loved whenever and wherever she touched him. Loved . . . her.
The words were there, on the tip of his tongue, but then her mouth closed over his again, her slick tongue gliding across his, dragging a groan from his chest. Her hand fisted his cock, slid down and up, squeezing, her thumb brushing the underside of the flared head until he shuddered. And then she was kissing his jaw, his earlobe, the soft skin of his neck, and all he could do was groan and let her touch wash over his body, let her take him anywhere she wanted.
“This is what you do to me.” She kissed his collarbone, his sternum, his ribs. And before he realized it she was on her knees, dragging him toward the warm, sinful wetness of her mouth.
He groaned at the first wicked touch. Her tongue ran all around the head of his cock and over the weeping slit. She did it again and again, lapping at him like dessert, just enough to make him mad. And when he was sure she was teasing him, when he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be able to stop himself from thrusting into her mouth, that was when she closed her lips over the tip and sucked him deep.
Humid, moist suction bombarded him from every angle. Her tongue rubbed along the underside of his shaft. She drew him deep, dragging him all the way to the back of her throat, then released until only the tip remained in her mouth.
“Livy . . .” He braced his hand against the roof of the cabin, trying to keep his knees from buckling while she did it again. While she looked up at him, taunting him with her sexy eyes. While pleasure raced down his spine, cutting off the oxygen to his brain. This was not what he’d intended when he’d kissed her, but, damn, her mouth felt like heaven, her tongue was on fire, and when she opened her throat and swallowed—
Holy hell . . .
He wasn’t going to last. Not if she did that again. And he didn’t want this to be about him. He wanted—no, he needed—to make her feel good.
His hands found her shoulders. He pulled back from her wickedly talented mouth, dragged her up, and brushed his lips over hers. She groaned, immediately reaching for him, her fingers sliding into his hair as she kissed him crazy and he worked the snap on her jeans free.
“I need you,” he mouthed against her, pushing her jeans free of her hips. “Right now.”
She moaned and traced her tongue along the edge of his lip. “Yes. Oh yes.”
He slid his hand inside the back of her jeans, over the curve of her ass, and down the sweet crease until his fingers pressed between her legs. He groaned as he kissed her, as she tipped her head and flicked her tongue over his, sliding into all her steamy heat, feeling how wet she was for him, knowing how excited sucking him had made her.
“These need to come off,” he mouthed against her, pushing the back of his hand against her jeans.
“Yes.” She pulled her mouth from his and pushed the denim down her hips, helping to wiggle out of the garment as fast as she could.
Landon kicked off his own jeans, then dropped to his knees while she sat on the sofa. He tugged the denim free of her legs and tossed it on the floor behind him. Then sucked in a breath when the soft, sweet lips of her sex came into view.
“Lie back,” he said.
A blush rose in her cheeks, but she did as he said, lying lengthwise on the couch. He lowered one silky foot to the floor and pressed her knee open, baring all her slick heat to his view. Blood pulsed in his veins. The scent of her arousal rose in the air around him, making his cock throb with the need to get inside her. But he wanted her begging. Wanted her writhing. Wanted to feel her come apart in his mouth first.
He leaned forward and breathed over her mound. She sucked in a breath, pushed up on her elbows, and looked down at him. His gaze lifted to hers as he did it again. As her body trembled beneath him.
“I love the taste of you,” he said in a low voice. A lusty voice. A sex-crazed voice. “Love how wet you are.” He dragged the flat of his tongue over her clit. “Love when you come in my mouth.”
She groaned and dropped her head back. He did it again, lapping at her until she shivered. He circled, then slid down to her opening, pressing his tongue inside as far as he could reach, then moved back up to her clit. Her eyes slid closed. She bucked against him and fell back against the seat. One hand found his hair and fisted, while he drove her mad with his tongue.
This he would never be able to get enough of. Her in the throes of pleasure, the sound of her impending release. Sex was a mutual thing for him. He liked the women he was with to get as much as they gave, but with Olivia, it was something else entirely. He suddenly didn’t care about his own release. His cock was hard and aching and desperate for attention, but right now all that mattered was giving her pleasure. Making her feel good. Feeling her come hard in his mouth until she was limp and sated beneath him.
He swirled his tongue around her clit again, faster this time, then closed his lips over the sensitive nub and suckled. She moaned. Lifted. Rubbed against his mouth. He answered by sliding his fingers along her dripping wetness, moving down until he found her opening, then pressing his index finger deep inside while he circled again with his tongue.
The air caught in her lungs. He drew back out, then pushed in with two fingers and suckled.
“Oh God, Landon. Yes. Right there.” She lifted her hips, tossed her head against the seat. Sweat slicked her skin. Every muscle in her body grew tight.
He knew she was close. Knew she was hovering on the edge. Needed to taste her explode in his mouth.
He drew his fingers out and in as he licked and laved at her clit, fucking faster and deeper with every stroke, searching for that special spot that would push her into mindless oblivion. And he knew when he found it, knew the moment her slick channel clenched around his fingers and a long guttural moan echoed from her chest that that she was coming. He swallowed her release, rubbed the pads of his fingers over that spot again and again, dragging out her climax. And felt it all the way through his own body as if he’d experienced it with her.
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Her hand fell from his hair and landed against the sofa. Her body twitched. He pressed his lips against her hip, her inner thigh, stroked her slowly as he brought her down the other side.
He laid his cheek on her belly, shaking against her from the power of her release. Was already planning how he could make her do it again when her fingers tangled in his hair, when she lifted his head, dragging his face toward her mouth. “Come here, Landon. I need to feel you inside me.”
Those few simple words brought his own raging need right back to the forefront. Her lips closed over his, and her tongue slid into his mouth. He kissed her back and climbed over her, his pulse racing, his throbbing cock brushing her inner thigh as he moved. Those soft, sexy fingers of hers closed over his length and stroked him all over again, and then he felt her positioning him, felt her hips lift and her silky wet heat glide over his length as she dragged the tip of his cock over and around her clit.
She shivered, pulled her mouth from his, closed her eyes, and groaned. Circled her clit again. He dropped his mouth to the hollow between her shoulder and neck and gently bit down. Another groan echoed from her chest, and she lifted her hips higher, sliding his cock lower until he pressed against her dripping core.
“Mm, yeah, baby. This is my very favorite place to be in the whole world. Right”—he pushed in a little deeper—“here.”
She let go of him, threaded her fingers back into his hair, and lifted her hips. “Prove it to me.” She kissed his lips softly, sweetly, so damn tenderly, his whole body trembled. “Show me how much you love being inside me. Make me feel it, Landon.”
He was powerless to hold back from something he wanted just as desperately. He closed his mouth over hers and thrust inside her with his tongue, with his cock. Her slick channel stretched and closed around him, so tight, so perfect, he knew he wasn’t going to last long. She moaned into his mouth while he drew out, grunted in pure pleasure when he shoved deep all over again.