Chapter Ten
Joel
HE WAS SICK of coming home to a quiet house. It had been a week since their parents announced their divorce, and now no one talked at home. Silence, except the dripping faucet, or the meows of their fat kitten, or the hum of the microwave when somebody needed food. It was toxic, and Joel wanted to slip away forever, but he had responsibilities and no spare cash with which to rent a place. He did not want to crash at Manny’s either, and so the result was the same every time he thought of different outcomes: He, unfortunately, would continue to live at the Sealet household.
The darkness was splashing down on their typical American household subdivision in its glorious display, but Joel felt like the gray clouds covering the moon. He took his microwaveable dinner upstairs and dialed Brie’s number.
“Hey,” she purred over the phone. “You want to do something after church tomorrow?”
He bit his lip. Last week she had missed going to church with him because a friend had invited her to another place. He forgot his girlfriend went to the same Baptist sanctuary as he did (sometimes, at least), which was the place he was looking forward to seeing Sarah again.
“Yeah, sure, that would be fine.” Joel bit his tongue and blood oozed from the cut. He tasted the iron and spat it on his palm.
“Joel, you okay?”
“Yeah, swell.”
“What the heck? Are you time traveling? Hey, I have this really amazing thing to show you…”
As Brie went on about an interior deisgn pattern she’d sketched, Joel thought of someone else, the girl with the long hair and minty eyes. Had she flirted with him? Joel tended to think Sarah had, and this increased in his interest in her, because she had always been unattainable. Always.
Until now.
“Hey, baby, I’ve gotta run. I just got home…”
“Oh, sure, sure. Mom’s walking in the door anyway. Pick me up at six? Or I can get you.”
“Yeah, get me.”
Joel was a cockroach that needed to be squashed by a large foot.
The foot was closer than it seemed.
DINNER WITH BRIE. As in a nice, sit-down place at the Cove, where a lot of the locals swam in a little bay during the summer. It was not a steak or fish place, but rather an all-American mom-and-pop that was partly hidden by tree cover and partly open so its guests could view the blueness of the bay.
Joel had been there countless times, even before he and his family had moved to Breezewater. Actually, one of his first dates—right after gaining his driver’s license—had gone down at the Cove. It had been an awful date, but Joel was losing his memory with all the girls he’d serenaded over the past few years.
And a new face was appearing in his mind.
Brie looked gorgeous, just like normal, when she appeared in her old Honda Accord, its front bumper slightly indented from a car wreck seven or so years ago. She did not even hop out to go get the door because Joel was sitting on his front porch, in khakis and a polo, his go-to prep look. She smiled at him but could tell he was in a speculative mood, and offered, “So…?”
He turned over, acting flabbergasted. “Oh, Brie, you look good.” He reached over to kiss her, but she backed away from him a few inches, causing his lips to kiss dead air.
“Sorry. I… I just want to know if you’re okay.” She shrugged, staring at a hangnail before looking up at him again. Her liquid amber eyes shone like a beacon of light. “You okay?”
This was one of the qualities Joel did not like about his girlfriend. She was too inquisitive. She claimed it was because she was a naturally curious Sagittarius, but Joel was not a superstitious type. He liked reason.
Joel reached over to stroke Brie’s chin, feeling her soft skin against his fingertips. In the fading light she looked like a goddess, and Joel wished he could fall in love with her. She was more than a pretty face, and he felt a bit guilty for where this was headed. “Hey, I’m sorry, Brie. I’ve just been preoccupied with my parents.”
Her eyes widened in comfort. She always liked to offer a shoulder for him to cry on but this usually aggravated him. Instead, she pushed the car into drive and said, “Well, let’s get your mind off that whole situation then, shall we?”
She goosed the gas pedal, and Joel slid on his seatbelt, wondering if it would be best to recite a few Hail Marys he’d learned from Manny’s family.
In the driver’s seat, Brie wondered what was up with Joel. She was not stupid, and she wondered if he was growing tired of her, which frazzled her thoughts. She liked being a couple, and she felt she and Joel were a success story for Breezewater. Was he a guy she’d marry? Never in a million years. But until she found someone worth her utter devotion, she liked to think a guy like Joel would fill that void.
She uncurled her toes as she increased the speed to the Cove. Joel had been shifty lately, not answering her questions, or ignoring her for a time before halfheartedly answering her. She had seen him do this with his ex-girlfriend, her pal Elisa, but Elisa and Joel did not have the same chemistry. Elisa was an illusory vision, and Brie was anything but fleeting.
As she turned onto the tree-lined gravel path to the Cove, she anxiously bit her thumbnail when Joel stared at his phone, checking something. Somehow, Brie needed to gain his interest again, because he was falling away from her, like a piece of space metal floating away from the ISS.
She pulled into a spot under a weeping willow that swayed in tune to her heart, back and forth, forth and back. Brie stepped out of the car, smoothed her long skirt, and fiddled a hand through her long hair. Her heart flopped as Joel stood, stretching his long limbs as his bright eyes glinted in the light. Brie was sure she was not in love with him, but she wondered when she would actually fall for him. He was handsome, funny, and outgoing, and he had a heart of gold.
“Joel, did I tell you what Ben said?”
Joel strode over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him so he could inhale the strawberry scent of her amber hair. “Did I tell you what Joel said? You’re absolutely beautiful.”
She swooned, resting her head on his shoulder. She stood up on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips, the sweetness of her petal-shaped lips mixing in with Joel’s dishonesty. He opened his eyes from the kiss to catch a glimpse of his old nemesis Robert Quickmond, who nodded in his direction. Joel was a territorial guy, and as soon as Rob got into his truck, Joel pulled away from Brie and wiped his lips. “Hungry, Brie?”
“Mmm hmm.”
They walked together into the crowded restaurant, its ambience flowing into every aspect of the architecture, food, and crowd. The lights dimly glowed over little dock-shaped tables, the fading sunset glowing its tendrils across the blueness of the cove, and the bustle of the restaurant tensing against Joel’s mind. He wanted to be far away from people right now, especially after receiving a loaded text from Ethan minutes before.
He and Brie took a table in the corner of the restaurant, far from the mayday in the middle of the place. Joel analyzed the menu, though he had his order memorized by heart, and Brie leaned closer to him from across the table, her hair dangerously close to the lit candle decorating their table. “We haven’t been here in a while.”
Joel looked up at her, finding it difficult to stare into her eyes without feeling some sort of guilt for leading her on. As she blabbed about their mutual friend Ben, Joel nodded and took a sip from the water he ordered. He wanted a joint, and he felt a bit woozy from the unwanted stress in his life. Brie flicked her hair over her shoulder and licked her lips, trying her hardest to gather his interest. Joel did not pay attention.
Eventually, their food was placed before them. Brie took small bites through wide smiles as she asked about him, and he politely asked about her. When Brie gathered the gumption to ask, she whispered across the table, “What’s going on, Joel?”
He sighed. “What do you mean?”
“Why are you acting different?” The smile was still painted on her face, but
it held just a little too long. “There’s something up.”
“It’s personal, Brie.” He wanted to drown in the glass of water before him. Would it be rude to order a single table now? His phone buzzed in his pocket, the messages no doubt from Ethan. Where are you, you no-good son of a… Typical. It must be a night at the bar. The number of those nights was increasing.
“We share personal things, Joel. We’re close, right?”
“We don’t share everything. For example, we don’t share makeup.” Joel was agitated now. He glanced down at his phone. It was lit up with messages from his father. He needed to ask Brie about John Cruston, but his heart was too heavy.
Brie cocked her head, hurt dangling in her irises. “What’s up, Joel? Just tell me. I’m here for you. Or I can stop asking you questions. That’s fine too.”
Joel stabbed a piece of bread before him, slopping it in butter. He took a bite and stared at his girlfriend, watching as disbelief spread across her face.
“Why are you shutting me out?”
“Brie, you’re clinging to me, and I need my space. Okay? I freaking need space.”
Brie reacted like she’d been zapped by lightning. She froze and then her eyes watered. She was dainty and fragile in this moment, but Joel wondered if it was all a façade. Girls did this to him. They wanted more from him, and never did he give them what they wanted or deserved. He wondered if doing what his dad had done to his mom was the right thing to do.
“You need space?”
“Yes, I need space, Brie.”
She threw her napkin on the table. “What does that mean?”
“It means… I’d like to sever our umbilical cord.”
“Screw you, Joel.”
He narrowed his eyes as the waitress brought a Southern smile and the check to the table. He practically tossed his debit card in her hand while keeping his angry scowl on Brie. “Are we married? No, I don’t think so. Ever since we started dating, I have felt smothered by you.” Untrue.
“Smothered? How could you?” A tear threatened to spill down her cheek.
“Smothered by how much you wanted me, and not vice versa.” False.
“You wanted me, Joel!”
“Stop, you’re going to cause a scene.”
Brie looked across the room, recognizing a few people from church. She wanted to crawl into a hole and lick her wounds. She stood up and brushed off her skirt, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She stared into Joel’s eyes and then grabbed her purse, rushing off without a word, hoping he would chase her down.
But Joel sat in his place, waiting for lightning bolts from God to sizzle his brain.
Instead, He sent Sarah Towson into the restaurant, and the pretty girl took a table two rows down from him.
Joel felt dizzy. In a matter of thirty seconds, he’d banished his girlfriend and instead found himself in close proximity to Sarah, who had not seen him yet. She was dressed in a comfortable shirt and shorts, but she looked even more attractive tonight than last Sunday. He sullenly remembered her absence from church this morning—or had he missed? Sarah was with a friend, Destiny, if Joel remembered correctly. Destiny was a precocious and annoying person, Joel knew. She had been the most annoying person he’d ever met in his entire life.
Joel’s phone buzzed in his pocket. His thoughts returned to his father’s coarse words only moments earlier. The waitress returned with his receipt and said, “You two sure make a cute couple.”
“Thanks,” Joel halfheartedly said. “Can I have one more water, please?”
“Absolutely.”
While waiting for the glass, Joel found the gumption to stand without toppling over like a fallen chess piece. He was not queasy anymore; rather, he was anxiously anticipating how he would find a ride home.
He stood up and took off in the direction of the door. As he fumbled outside, he dialed Alex’s number, praying the guy would answer. When Alex did, Joel mumbled, “Can you do me a favor?”
“What?” Alex said, his tone full of distaste.
“I need you to pick me up at the Cove.”
“What’d you do, man? Can your parents not give you a ride?”
“I just need help. I’ll pay you.”
“Fine. I want ten bucks and the chance to be off your go-to guy list. Got it?”
Joel rocked back on his heels, the clamor of the homey restaurant contrasting the natural atmosphere of the lonely outside. He walked to the bay itself, observing the ripples on the water as he skipped stones. As he waited for Alex’s appearance, Joel contemplated jumping into the water. He was tired, spontaneous, and anxious.
The gulls cried out in the night, kind of like how Joel felt internally. Minutes turned into an hour, in which Joel sat by the bay, staring up at the twinkling sky as cars appeared and disappeared, none of them Alex’s. Finally, Joel stood up and stretched, walking down the beaten path, deciding to walk the six miles to his house. It would take hours to get home—and he had work in the morning—but maybe he deserved it from how he had reacted toward Brie.
The forest paralleling his ambling was alive with croaking insects and animals. Joel hummed to himself.
Then a car whipped down the road, going about twenty miles over the speed limit. He watched as it passed him by, and somehow he knew it was the car in which Destiny and Sarah sat. He called out to them, waving his hands above his head. He did not expect them to notice him, especially at their high velocity.
Then bam. The car sputtered to a stop, reversed its course, and returned to his position. He glowed in the path of the headlights. Destiny appeared from the seat and called out, “Joel Sealet?”
Then Sarah Towson appeared, her eyes confused. She clutched the door in front of her like it was a guard of protection between her and Joel. The initial confusion meshed with her pity for his situation, and she called out, “You need a ride?”
Destiny turned to her and cocked her head. “Sarah.”
“He’s walking by himself, Destiny.”
“Well, actually…” Joel said, moving closer to Sarah’s side. He made sure to play off his desperation, but since this was Destiny’s car, he had to appease both women. He pulled out his phone and contemplated texting Alex to let him know he found another way home, but if Alex was this late, oh well.
Joel took a seat in the beat-up car as Destiny maneuvered her vehicle to follow the way out of the Cove. He leaned in and said, “Thanks. I live in Elizabeth.”
“Got you,” Destiny said, cocking a special eyebrow roll in her friend’s direction.
“Why were you walking by yourself?” Sarah asked, not waiting another moment for the suspense. She turned around from the front seat to face him, noting he was drenched in sweat from the May humidity, which would only grow even thicker in the coming months.
He shrugged. “I broke up with my girlfriend, and my ride never showed up.”
Destiny slammed on the brakes, almost colliding her deathtrap of a car into a tree. Sarah and Joel screamed, “Destiny!” to which the girl resumed driving at a slower speed.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “But, Joel? What? You broke up with Brie? Why?”
Joel bit his tongue. This would be the talk of the young adult (and older generations) crowd for the next few weeks. There was not a lot of courting, dating, or even hooking up in Breezewater, because it was too small of a town. Savannah had a different feel to it, but Joel did not live in broad scope of Savannah anymore.
“We broke up because it was the right thing to do,” he said.
“When you say ‘we,’ do you really mean you?” Destiny asked. Her eyes were big with skepticism and confusion. “Because I know you really mean you broke up with her; it wasn’t a ‘we.’”
“Destiny, let him talk.” Sarah stared at her friend as the girl made a quick left turn onto the highway in front of a tractor-trailer. Sarah gripped the seat beside her until it made her fingers turn white.
Joel did not even care anymore, not even when the honk of the trailer so
unded behind them. “Yes, to answer your question, I broke up with her.”
“But why?”
“Why do I have to tell you, Destiny? I’m sure this will be popular knowledge by one a.m. this morning.”
Destiny turned around to glare at him, but Sarah shouted, “Pay attention to the road!” This caused Destiny to swerve yet again.
Sarah unbuckled her seatbelt and crawled to the backseat, much to the confusion of the other passengers. Even Sarah herself was confused. She rushed back and buckled back up, right beside Joel, close enough for him to see her smudged mascara, and for her to see the hint of stubble crawling up his chin. She stared at him before elbowing him.
“What the heck was that for?” he yelped.
“Why would you break up with Brie? She’s a sweet human being, and you’ve already done this to enough girls. Why Brie? And why on this green Earth are you smoking weed in church parking lots?” She elbowed him again, right into his gut.
“How did you know about that?”
“Small town. Everybody talks,” Destiny interjected. “There’s a fee for riding in my car. What’s your tidbit of juicy gossip?”
“Sarah… Are you drunk?” Joel asked, leaning a bit closer to her so their eyes were blinking in unison.
She shook her head. “At night, I get loopy, and it’s way past my bedtime.”
“It’s only ten o’clock.”
“Exactly.”
Destiny pulled into Elizabeth, Joel’s subdivision in the woodsy part of town. Lightning bugs flew around them. “You see, Sarah won’t remember a thing in the morning. She really does get weird at night.”
“It’s true,” Sarah said.
In the flicker of the streetlights, Joel was able to see the margin of her purple eyeliner. Her brown hair was curled into perfect rivulets, and a few moments later, she was fast asleep, her fingers limp at his side. He lifted one finger to her open palm, touching it. She startled awake a few seconds later as Joel directed Destiny through the maze of his subdivision.
“What are you doing?” Sarah screamed, backing away from him like a caged animal. She hit her head against the window and proceeded to yelp.
“Oh, Lord. This is crazy,” Destiny shouted before parking in front of Joel’s old house. Even in the darkness, the house was falling apart. His clean Jeep sat in the driveway.
“You okay, Sarah?”
“She’s fine, in my hands at least. Hey, Joel?” Destiny asked as the young man left her car. He looked at her. “Why did you break up with Brie?”
A thousand words flashed through his mind, but he settled on five. “It wasn’t meant to be.”
“Philosophical.”
“Yup. Thanks, Destiny.”
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
“Damn. Thanks for reminding me, bearer of great news.”
The car rambled down the road, leaving Joel staring after it for a few seconds, the unbearable bugs swarming him in their grasp. Eventually, he turned around and headed inside, intrigued at what all had just happened.