Cole didn’t want to say it aloud to Kim, that these might be skills they’d have to know to teach any daytime caretakers Mason had once he was moved out of the ICU.
Especially if he needed long-term care at home.
This evening, Kim had to go home to sleep despite how early it was. She was falling apart at the seams, and Cole currently wasn’t strong enough to hold it together for her right then. He’d ordered her to go home and sleep. Well, to go to Mason’s and sleep.
Cole wasn’t getting good sleep anyway, so he figured he might as well be sleeping there at Mason’s side.
Earlier that day, they’d started decreasing Mason’s medication, wanting to bring him slowly out of the induced coma to make sure his body would tolerate it. Because he was still on the ventilator, they’d put restraints on his hands so he wouldn’t try to pull the breathing tube. Tilly had warned Cole of this happening, that they’d want to verify his ability to breathe on his own before removing the ventilator.
Also, they wanted the breathing tube kept in place in case they needed to immediately sedate him again.
Cole couldn’t help but think Mason might find it ironic that he was the one now tied down.
Another reason he’d sent Kim to Mason’s, because when she’d spotted the restraints earlier she had burst into tears. Although the staff didn’t understand the true reason for her distress.
Because it was too much of a grim reminder of what she was missing.
He got it, because it’d made him cringe when he’d arrived earlier and saw them.
So here he sat, staring at Mason while the nurse sat on the stool with the laptop cart and worked on charts and monitored Mason’s readings.
One moment, Cole was sitting there, staring at Mason’s face. He’d closed his own eyes only for a second, then opened them again.
Mason was staring at him.
It took him a moment to process that, to feel the catch in his throat, to force himself to sit up, stand, lean in close. “Hey, buddy. Welcome back.”
The nurse looked up and walked around to the other side of the bed. “Hello, Mr. Lange.”
Mason’s gaze didn’t waver from Cole’s. Cole’s vision doubled, tripled as tears filled his eyes.
He didn’t care. Mason was awake, looking at him.
The nurse raised her voice just a little. “Mr. Lange, I’m Rosie, your nurse. Can you please look at me for a moment?”
Slowly, Mason’s gaze shifted, looking at her, apparently trying to focus on her.
She smiled at him. “Very good. Can you please blink for me?”
Cole choked back a sob as Mason slowly blinked.
“Excellent. I’m going to get the doctor to come in to see you. Cole is right here with you. I’ll be back in a minute.”
She left, and Mason seemed to follow her with his gaze before it slowly swung back onto Cole.
“I love you,” Cole said. “I love you so fucking much, I want you to know that.” He gently grasped Mason’s right hand with both of his. “Kim loves you, too. I sent her home to sleep. It’s almost eight o’clock at night.”
He didn’t want to overwhelm Mason with the full details yet.
Like how much time had passed.
There’d be plenty of time for that.
Mason tried to lift his left hand and realized he couldn’t. When he tried to look that way, Cole distracted him. “Hey, no, look at me,” he said.
Not just a distraction for Mason, but he didn’t want to stop staring into Mason’s gaze. He wanted to look into those hazel eyes and never stop staring.
The nurse returned with a doctor. Cole leaned in and kissed Mason’s forehead before letting go of his hand and moving out of the way, watching as they put Mason through a series of basic commands and tests, including seeing if Mason felt pain in his feet, could move on command.
The whole time, Mason’s gaze seemed to seek out Cole when the doctor wasn’t asking him to respond directly by looking somewhere specific or blinking.
Finally, Cole breathed out a sigh of relief when the doctor turned to the nurse. “Let’s go ahead and check his breathing, see if he’s able to breathe on his own. If so, we’ll go ahead and pull the breathing tube.”
One more victory.
That took another hour, Cole once again standing out of the way while they did it, the sound of Mason’s weak cough like music to Cole’s ears.
No sleep for me tonight.
He’d be calling in to work tomorrow, because he’d want to sit up all night and be there, awake and aware and ready to respond to Mason.
I’ll need to text Kim in the morning and tell her to call in. She could sit there with Mason while he went and got some sleep.
The nurse warned Cole that Mason might go back to sleep, due to the effects of the sedation, and not to count on him being too awake or aware this soon. That it might be days before he was really coherent.
Cole didn’t care. Mason was awake.
That meant, as far as Cole was concerned, that any prognosis was possible. Including the best-case scenario.
Finally, Cole was once again able to sit at Mason’s bedside. They kept his hands restrained for now because of the NG tube. They’d replaced the breathing tube with a cannula delivering oxygen directly into Mason’s nose.
Cole reached over and clasped Mason’s right hand once more.
Mason had closed his eyes, but at Cole’s touch opened them again and looked at him.
The nurse brought in a cup of water and sponge swab. “Don’t give him anything to drink yet,” she cautioned. “But you can wet his lips with that, and dab a little in his mouth.”
Tilly had brought in a couple of tubes of lip balm that they’d been using to keep Mason’s lips from getting chapped.
Cole struggled not to cry. He knew he’d need to be strong for Mason now. “Hey, buddy,” he softly said. “Pet’s at home asleep. I thought about waking her up, but I’m going to be selfish, and she needs the sleep.”
He reached over and stroked Mason’s hair with one hand, maintaining his grip on Mason’s hand with the other. Maybe now that he was on the mend, they’d be able to give him a real bath, with running water, instead of the dry shampoo they’d been able to use in his hair, and even then only over the past couple of days. The doctors hadn’t wanted any of that done to him early on, wanting him to remain as still as possible.
Cole had used a cordless electric razor on Mason a couple of times, trying to keep the stubble down to a minimum. He was due for another shave, and now they could get his full face.
“Squeeze my hand for me, please?” Cole whispered. “I know talking’s going to be hard right now, but squeeze my hand to tell me you love me.”
Faintly, Mason squeezed Cole’s fingers, making Cole smile.
“We’ll get you up and around soon. You just relax and focus on healing.”
* * * *
Pain.
Holy fuck, pain the likes of which Mason couldn’t ever remember feeling before in his life. Not even a kidney stone he’d once passed had hurt this fucking badly, and he’d been convinced he was dying then.
Not just pain, but it felt like he couldn’t even think. Like his brain was wrapped in cotton gauze, and putting together two words was barely possible.
From context, he was able to gather he was in a hospital. Either that, or Hell, except that Hell probably wouldn’t feature Cole sitting next to him.
What. The. Actual. Fuck?
He didn’t know how long he lay there, staring at Cole. There’d been nurses and a doctor—again, through context, not actually knowing what the hell had happened—and a vague recollection of coughing.
His left shoulder and arm, especially his wrist, really hurt, but when he tried to move it, he couldn’t. He couldn’t move his right arm, either, but he wasn’t sure if that was because Cole had a grip on him or not. He tried wiggling his toes again, and while it seemed he had something on his feet, he could see the sheet moving, feel his toes moving. And
when he tried sending orders to his legs, he could move them a little.
Once again he focused on Cole and those blue eyes he loved and tried to figure out what happened. What had happened, obviously. From the look on Cole’s face, the deep lines, the worry, it couldn’t have happened that day.
What day was it, anyway?
He tried to sweep his vision around the room but couldn’t tear himself away from Cole’s gaze.
The last thing he remembered…
He tried to remember what the last thing was he remembered. He could recall some vague, ghostly dreams. Feeling lost. The sound of sirens. Pain. The feeling like he was flying…
Freddie.
Okay. He remembered working, the little fucker showing up at his door…
Had Freddie done…this to him?
Wait, that wasn’t right.
He took a deep breath, his throat hurting, his chest aching. Dinner.
He was supposed to have dinner with Cole and Kim and the others.
He’d…
Cole was his anchor. He squeezed the man’s hand again despite the pain he felt throughout his body and focused on those blue eyes.
He remembered Friday night. He remembered…
Wanting to talk. Wanting to talk to them about this being permanent. Telling them he loved them.
And then…
Things were fuzzy. Saturday.
His gaze slipped from Cole’s as Mason focused on a whiteboard on the wall behind him. A nurse’s name was written there, but more importantly was something else.
Tuesday.
Trying to do math felt incredibly hard…like scaling a mountain, but he managed it. Three or four days—gone.
Fuck.
So much he wanted to ask Cole, but it felt like he couldn’t talk, too tired to talk, too much energy to expend to make his mouth work right.
He managed to open his mouth a little to flick his dry tongue over his lips. He vaguely tasted cherry.
Cole released his hand, grabbed a cup and a swab, and dampened Mason’s mouth and tongue only enough he could actually swallow.
More was coming into focus.
More pain, unfortunately.
But he was hooked up to IVs, monitors. His head hurt like a motherfucker and he definitely didn’t want to move that.
He tried licking his lips again and Cole this time produced a stick of lip balm and swiped it over his lips.
Cherry.
One mystery explained.
Mason took a couple of deep breaths and hoped Cole could hear him.
“What…happened?”
Something that looked like rage flashed across the man’s normally placid features, startling Mason into a deeper level of consciousness than even the pain he was feeling.
“Freddie,” Cole finally said. “Hit you with his car. He’s in jail. You were supposed to meet us for dinner at Sigalo’s and didn’t show. I texted you, and the FHP called me.”
“Saturday…?” It was all Mason could manage.
Cole sadly nodded. “Last Saturday. It’s ten days later. Your mom and stepdad were here for several days and went home two days ago. They’ll probably be back this weekend, now that you’re awake.”
Mason was still trying to process that.
Ten days.
Ten.
Cole apparently read his mind. “I talked to your job. They’re aware of what’s going on.”
Ten.
Fucking.
Days.
Even though it felt like trying to climb Mt. Everest, Mason managed another word.
“Pet.”
“She’s home sleeping. Well, at your place. We’ve been staying there because it’s closest to here.”
I can do this.
“Phone.”
Cole frowned. “Not sure what you mean, buddy.”
Mason didn’t know if the word had come out differently than he’d intended it, or Cole just didn’t understand what he meant.
“Phone.”
“I have your phone, Mase. It’s at home.”
Mason tried again, fighting his exhaustion and frustration and pain. “Pet…phone.”
Cole’s eyebrows went up. “I ordered her to get some sleep.”
Mason swallowed and tried one more time. “Phone.”
“You sure you want me to call her? She’ll be here in the morning.”
Mason squeezed Cole’s hand. It was easier than trying to talk again.
Cole dug out his phone and put it into FaceTime mode to call Kim’s phone. Cole held the phone so Mason’s face was visible in the window, and when Kim answered, it was yet another shock to Mason’s system. She looked haggard, drawn, and not just from being awakened from a sound sleep.
From her red, puffy eyes and swollen nose, she’d been crying.
A lot.
“Mason?”
Cole spoke up. “Sorry to wake you up, pet. Look who’s awake and demanded I call you.”
She started sobbing. “Mase, I love you. I–I’ll get dressed and be right there, I—”
“Stay,” he said, hoping Cole could hear him, not sure if she could.
“He says to stay, pet,” Cole said.
Mason squeezed Cole’s other hand, which still held his.
“But…I want to come see you.”
“Sleep,” he said. “Morning.”
Damn, he’d never take talking for granted again.
“Did you catch that?” Cole asked her.
“I couldn’t hear him.” Tears rolled down her face. She’d turned on a bedside lamp and he saw, yes, she was in his bed.
Poor pet.
That thought almost made Mason cry, and he didn’t want to cry right now.
“He said sleep, morning. I think he means get some sleep and come in the morning.”
Mason squeezed Cole’s hand in an affirmative.
“Yeah, that’s what he meant,” Cole said. “He just squeezed my hand.”
“How long’s he been awake?”
“Not long. I can tell you now what I was going to tell you in the morning—call in to work and come in after you get some sleep. I’ll sleep tomorrow during the day. And make sure you get some breakfast before you come in.”
Mason squeezed his hand to get his attention. When Cole looked at him, Mason said, “Go sleep.”
Cole smiled at him. “Sorry, buddy. You’re not my Master.” He leaned in and kissed Mason. “I’m overruling you. I’m staying here. Besides, I’m too tired to drive right now. I’d at least need a nap anyway.”
Mason stared up into Cole’s gaze and knew even if he tried to overrule Cole, the man would just disregard it.
That man needs a spanking.
Which he knew he’d never give Cole, because the guy didn’t get into that.
But he could spank pet by proxy.
Maybe.
One day.
He shifted his focus back to the phone. “Love you. Sleep.”
“I love you, too, Mase. I love you so much. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good girl.”
She choked back a sob and managed a smile for him. “Thank you, Master.”
Cole leaned in. “I know this isn’t going to be easy, but try to go back to sleep and not worry.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you, too, sweetheart. See you in the morning. Bring me breakfast.”
“Okay.”
Cole ended the call and smiled at him. “Thank god you’re awake. She’s a pet who really needs two owners, not just one.”
Mason closed his eyes and smiled, trying not to laugh. It’d hurt too damn much. The more awake he became, the more he realized he had pains elsewhere. His gut, for starters. Felt like he’d been sliced open.
His fucking head was the worst, though.
“How bad?”
Cole ran through a litany of stuff, as if he was now intimately familiar with the terminology.
Of course he is.
The nurse, who’d stepped out for a momen
t, returned. “Mr. Lange, are you in any pain? I can get you some pain meds. The doctor left orders for them.”
“Please,” he said.
She looked at Cole. “Fair warning, it’ll probably knock him out again. But not like the last time.”
“I don’t want him to be uncomfortable.”
“I’ll be right back.” She left them alone again.
Cole leaned in close once they were alone. “Let me say it again—I love you, I love you so fucking much. Don’t you dare fucking die on me, because I love you, and Kim loves you, and we need you in our lives.”
Mason squeezed his hand hard and long. “Love you, too.”
He continued staring into Cole’s eyes after the nurse returned with the medicine and pushed it into his IV. The world started going fuzzy, Cole’s blue eyes fading into blackness as the pain began a slow retreat.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Cole texted Tilly after Mason went back to sleep and gave her the update. She called him almost immediately, sounding happy and warning him not to worry if Mason was groggy and sleepy for the next several days. With that update issued, he managed a long nap overnight. He asked the nurse to please wake him up if Mason woke up, but Mason slept through the night.
When Kim arrived at 5:28 the next morning, Cole wondered if she’d even gotten any sleep. Her hair was damp from the shower, and she carried a travel mug of coffee and a bagel wrapped in foil and in a zip-top bag.
“Is he awake?” she whispered as she kissed him. Fortunately, she looked happier than he’d seen her look since the ordeal began.
She looked hopeful, too. She wasn’t wearing any makeup and had pulled her damp hair back into a ponytail, but some of the deep lines that had plagued her face lately seemed diminished.
“Not right now. He’s just sleeping, though. Pain meds.”
“Oh.”
Mason’s eyes opened and Cole heard her choke back a happy sob. “Hey, Master,” she whispered as she leaned in to kiss him. “You ready for a day with your pet?”
He managed a weak smile for her. “Good girl.”
Cole choked back a laugh of his own. Even like this, Mason was still trying to do his best. “Oh, dude, I can’t wait to get you home.”
“Why are his hands still restrained?” she asked.