Chapter 8
Girls were another thing boys tended to do, or try their best to do and I was no exception when it came to devoting a lot of my time to trying to do any girl who would let me. Being porky had its disadvantages in that area, but there were chubby girls just like there were chubby boys. One Halloween, Danny—then twelve— and Matt and I—both fifteen—had convinced some other friends from the neighborhood to hop that fence on US 49 and have ourselves a little mischief. We’d dressed in costumes and gone door-to-door for to gather a bit of candy and also to keep up appearances.
There were three girls and four boys in all. Along with the candy, we had a couple packs of smokes and a fifth bottle of Jack Daniel’s stuffed in our loot bags. It was an awful combination. Smokes were easy enough to find, especially at fifteen, and many if not most of my friends were experimenting with cigarettes and other substances. The liquor I had stolen from John that evening. He was too drunk on beer to notice or care.
We sat there, the seven of us, and chain smoked, passed around that community bottle and we coughed like we had TB. It was the cool thing to do. It was our little corner of the world, just out of site of the parents who were busy answering the door and handing out candy. I’m sure many of them were socially lubricated by their chosen poisons as well.
I was a vampire dressed in a plastic cape and wearing those cheap fangs that never seem to fit in anyone’s mouth. Danny dressed as a hobo. Matt wore a wolfman mask. Careful planning meant we had on regular clothes under our costumes so we could pass for some form of cool when the ladies showed up.
Of the three, Karen Cameron was the one I had my eye on. For some strange reason, her nickname was KK. She was short and a little round, not as round as me, and she was cute, but no cheerleader by any stretch of the imagination. I was surprised to see she was also dressed as a vampire, and the other girls were dressed for the holiday as well. Cool was then and will always be subjective.
“I’m a sexy vampire, don’t you think?” she had said, but it wasn’t sexy, not really. On another girl it might have been, but not on KK.
“Yep,” I said anyway.
Sex appeal was something she didn’t have. She had stringy black hair and acne and braces, and in addition to being a little chubby, she had no curves and no grace. What she had that was important to all of us, was a driver’s license. I don’t know why I was attracted to her or if I was attracted to her, but she was nice to me when most girls weren’t…and there was the whiskey.
“Drive us somewhere, KK?” Matt said and took his turn on the bottle of Jack. She stuck up her middle finger and flicked the still-burning butt of her cigarette at him. He ducked and chuckled.
The rest of the group included Danny, his friend James who still wore most of his Darth Vader getup, and James’s sister Elaine, a princess—who also happened to be friends with KK. There was another girl, Shelby, who wasn’t very friendly, wasn’t wearing any sort of costume and didn’t speak much, but she was friends with KK and Elaine. The girls all nodded, wanting to take our party somewhere else.
KK shook her head. “Nope. Can’t, not tonight anyway. Besides, where are we gonna go? We’ve got smokes, liquor, and loads of candy. We can party right here,” she said.
Matt wanted Elaine in the worst way. She was fourteen and all he talked about that week and he’d mentioned to me several times how he hoped we could find someplace where they could be alone. He was full of charming sentiments about squeezing her tits and also, in his words: doing her a favor and maybe busting her cherry. It seemed to me that Elaine was also interested in Matt, but I’m not sure she was aware of his poetic intentions toward her cherry or her tits.
I stared at KK, wondering if I would even know how to go about squeezing a tit and knowing for certain I wasn’t ready for much else. She caught me looking and smiled. As the moonlight glinted off of her braces, I blushed.
“She’s right. We can stay right here,” I said.
We passed the bottle around for another belt each. It burned and made me feel warm all over. The buzz grew more intense and I lit another cigarette. KK grabbed it from between my lips and put it in her own mouth, pulling a drag and blowing the smoke out from her nostrils.
Thirty minutes and half a bottle of whiskey later, Matt and Elaine were behind a tree twenty feet down the road and KK and I were kissing sloppily. Her braces tore up my lips and my tongue when I could get it past hers. She was quite energetic and I thought one ill-placed poke of that tongue might put out an eye. She groped my backside a few times, coming on strong and teasing my crotch with one of her thick thighs. It was exciting at fifteen, but it wasn’t sexy. I felt more like I was being frisked. I kept my hands on the ground to hold myself up and also because I was afraid whatever I did with them, it would be wrong.
When we finally came up for a breath of the cool night air, KK stood up to stretch. I noticed Danny and the others were sitting around the bottle, bleary-eyed. They were all smoking, but the cap was on the bottle. Danny was watching me. His expression read boredom and maybe a little wonder. The expression said two things to me: What are you doing? And more importantly, why are you doing it with her?
KK sat back down next to me and her eyes met mine. My passion for her was long gone, my lips were shredded and I had the spins as the mixture of cigarette smoke, candy and whiskey started to sit funny in my gut. She moved in for another round of suck-face and I squirmed, smelling stale smoke and the sour stench of alcohol on her breath. It reminded me of John. I prayed for an idea, some sort of distraction I could throw at her. Thankfully, she found one of her own. Her eyes shifted, just slightly, but I could tell she was looking past me. I leaned out of her way.
“I have an idea…” she started and stared over my shoulder into the night.
I turned to see what she was looking at, glad for the break, and stopped dead when I saw the Russian House. It looked like the picked-clean carcass of a Thanksgiving turkey sticking up out of the ground or maybe a buzzard infested wildebeest after the lions had had their fill. The frame of the house was clearly visible, even in the waning crescent of the moon’s light, but most of the walls were gone, fallen in or withered away by age. Something in the center seemed to be looking back. I felt the cold stare of the dead, the solid blue irises of that ghost-girl watching me, watching Danny, watching Matt…waiting for us to make the mistake and go back to visit her. I was instantly sober. My skin felt clammy and I thought I might vomit.
“I’m not going over there,” I said.
Danny, James and Shelby, who were actually busy giggling—even Shelby—stopped and their eyes all fixed on the same location. I looked at my brother, then focused on Matt who was coming out from behind a cluster of trees with Elaine. Matt was smiling and zipping his pants. Elaine looked slightly embarrassed.
“The Russian House!” KK said.
James stood up, Darth Vader from the neck down.
“Yeah. I hear that place is haunted as hell,” he said.
Matt caught up on the conversation hearing what James said and looked where James was looking. He turned as pale as I felt and immediately puffed on a fresh cigarette. Elaine tried to hang from his arm but he shrugged her off. Danny didn’t speak; he only stared at the dirt.
“It is haunted as hell,” KK said.
“Cool,” James said.
Elaine said, “That place? It’s just an old wives tale. A ghost story for kids.”
“Perfect for Halloween, don’tcha think?” KK said.
“Fuck that,” Matt said. “I’m not about to go over there either.”
Elaine frowned. “Come on, Matt,” she said with puppy dog eyes.
She slid closer to him and nudged his ribs with her elbow. He weakened for a moment and I saw his cheeks flush, then he stood up and pulled on his cigarette again. “No. No way,” he said. “Not that place. Anywhere but there.”
I looked back at the ruins of the old house, not seeing as much as feeling that apparition floating in its c
enter. I watched it watch us. It wanted us to come…to bring it more food.
“You guys are all pussies,” KK said.
James and Elaine laughed and Shelby went back to frowning. She obviously wanted to be somewhere else. I stood up to leave and grabbed Danny, dragging him along. He didn’t argue. He didn’t say anything. Matt looked at Elaine and gave her a weak smile.
“See you tomorrow?” he said.
She shrugged.
“I gotta go,” I told KK.
“Guys, come on. We don’t have to go anywhere. We can just hang out here. Or maybe in my parents’ basement? Watch a movie?” she said, but it was too late.
“Not tonight,” I said. “Some other time.”
“What about the whiskey?” KK asked.
“Keep it,” I said.
I don’t want to be like John.
“That is the best idea I’ve heard all night,” Shelby said, still with her face scrunched into a frown. “Some drinky and a movie in your basement.”
Elaine rushed over to Matt. I don’t know exactly what happened between them while they were behind that tree, but I got the feeling Matt had his needs fulfilled and he was done with her. Elaine’s face said she had that feeling as well.
“Like he said. Some other time,” Matt told her. He didn’t even kiss her goodnight. I heard the girls arguing a little behind us, but it was jumbled chatter and mixed in with the rustle of our cheap costumes. Somewhere between walking away from those girls and the fence, I lost my crush on KK and we never spoke again. It wasn’t her fault, nor do I think it was mine. Either way, it was probably for the best.
The boys and I ducked back through the hole in the fence and beat feet over to Matt’s house, shoving spearmint gum into our mouths the whole way and chewing wildly. Once there, the three of us sat up with his parents and shared candy and popcorn while we watched old monster movies. I don’t know if the stink of sour mash on us overcame the smell of peppermint gum or not, but they never let on. As I said before, they probably had a few drinks of their own that night.