We went out the very next evening and had a simple dinner at a cheap steakhouse in town. Vicky ate heartily, but I was so nervous I don’t think I ate three bites. At the end, we each paid our own way. The night after that, we met for coffee at the diner on the corner of 3rd Avenue and West Street. I was more relaxed that time. She wore a tank top and a short skirt and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. We talked until the manager came over and told us he was trying to close for the night. He was a pleasant, older man who reminded me a bit of Mr. Sewell the librarian, although Mr. Sewell had passed away some years before. The manager approached the table with a fresh pot of coffee.
“Would you two like a cup for the road?” he asked with a smirk.
We both gawked at the clock behind the counter and laughed. It was after 10:00 pm. Vicky shook her head.
“No, thanks,” I said.
“I have some Styrofoam cups right over there,” he said.
I looked at Vicky and she was already shaking her head. “We’re fine,” she said.
“I hate to kick a nice young couple out, but I have my own lovely lady to get home to,” he said.
A couple. The word felt good when spoken about us and I noticed Vicky didn’t flinch. I thought I might kiss her that night. It was a second date, and I’d known her since I was a kid. Still, I didn’t want to rush anything. She must have had other plans because when I walked her to her parent’s front door, she invited me in.
“Mom and Dad are asleep. I’m sure Alex is out for the night doing…whatever men do.”
I considered it. Man, did I consider it. A hundred filthy thoughts ran through my mind, the least of which was her naked body coming out of the shower that afternoon when I was thirteen, before the whole world turned upside down. Then I had a horrible thought that I might not know what to do with her in the dark on her parent’s living room sofa. I wasn’t a virgin…I’d had several girlfriends, but growing up fat, I wasn’t exactly experienced either. And none of them compared to my Vicky.
She must have seen my hesitation because she put a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe next time,” she said.
My relief was immediate.
“Yes. I mean, I’d like to, I’d really like to, but…”
She placed one finger against my lips.
“I had a really good time, Todd. I’d like to spend more time with you,” she said.
Then she kissed me on the cheek and her lips lingered there for a long time before she went inside and closed the door. I walked back to mom and John’s and lay awake in my boyhood room thinking about her, about the feel of her lips on my cheek, for hours. My life was in order, finally in order, and things were as they should be.
The next morning, while I was eating breakfast, Vicky called and we made plans for another dinner date, then a movie. At that movie, something bland that starred Julia Roberts, we sat in the back and I kissed her almost as soon as the theater went dark…a kiss that lasted nearly as long as the film. We went out every night that week, and I even stayed at my parents longer than I had planned just so I could be with her. I didn’t get back to my apartment at college until Sunday after midnight and had an 8:00 am class the next morning.
She and I spoke on the phone every day and I drove to visit her on weekends. Not a brother, but something better. A best friend with benefits. Matt laughed at me the next time we spoke on the phone.
“Vicky Rutledge? Like Alex’s sister that we used to terrorize?” he’d asked.
His voice was elevated and he laughed hysterically.
“Yeah. That Vicky,” I said.
I didn’t care what his opinion was, but I still needed to hear it. To my surprise, he was happy.
“That’s great, man. I haven’t seen her since she was about nineteen. She was one sexy…”
“Still is… and take it easy, killer,” I said.
“Uh oh. Are those actual feelings you’ve got for her, or is this because she was the first girl you ever saw naked?”
I took a second and pondered his question. It was a legitimate question I’d asked myself a few times. He may have been right. The crush had been going on for a long time.
“I’m feeling something,” I said.
Matt chuckled. “But is she feeling anything? If so, I’d like pictures,” he said.
“You’ll just have to learn to live with disappointment,” I said.
One month later, in my college apartment, for only the second time in my young life, I saw Vicky’s boobs. A year later, we were engaged and I married her six months after that. I had just graduated college and started working at an engineering firm about two hours from the old house. She taught at the local high school and was the beautiful, young teacher all the boys had a crush on. Aren’t I the lucky one?
Today, we have a boy named Sean and a girl named Robin. Vicky is still the love of my life and for some unknown reason, she’s still sitting in the other room.