He placed his hand on her shoulder, but Danni shook him off. “See you Monday,” she said, breaking free.
With tears blurring her vision, Danni struggled to see out her windshield as she made the drive home. Instinct guided her in the right direction. For the first time in her life she wanted to talk to her mom, but she couldn’t. Even on Saturdays her mom couldn’t make time to be around.
At home, in the solitude of her bedroom, Danni flung herself onto her bed. As soon as she did, her phone rang. Retrieving it from her purse, she saw Darren’s number on the screen. Instead of answering it, she let her voice mail take his call before turning off the phone. Danni didn’t want to hear his excuses and fake apologies, not now and maybe not ever. She crawled under the covers and pulled them over her head. Sometimes she hated Darren Jacobs’ brutal honesty.
* * *
“How do you like that, Marcy?” Chelsea asked.
“Maybe we should just go,” Marcy said.
“She knew we’d be coming. I think we should wake her up by pouring a bucket of water on her,” Chelsea suggested.
Danni heard their voices as if from a great distance and it took a few minutes for her to remember they made plans for pizza night. “What time is it?” she asked as she cracked her eyes open.
“Almost six,” Marcy answered.
“How’d you get in?” Danni tried to stretch the sleep from her body.
“Nick let us in,” Chelsea said. “Good thing we caught him on the way out, or we would’ve been out there all night.”
“Sorry. I guess I fell asleep,” Danni said.
Marcy laughed. “No kidding.”
“I guess you and Darren had a tiring afternoon,” Chelsea joked.
“Did you guys eat yet?” Danni changed the subject. “I’m starving.”
Chelsea smirked. “Worked up an appetite, huh?” she asked and Marcy giggled.
“No, all I’ve eaten today is a bagel,” Danni told them. “Let’s order pizza.”
“Pizza sounds great,” Chelsea agreed. “And while we’re waiting for it to get here you can tell us about the fight you had with Darren.”
Danni shrugged. “Who says we had a fight?”
She grabbed her cell phone and frowned when she turned it on. In the past few hours, Darren had blown up her phone with voice mail and text messages. Without bothering to check any of them, she called in the pizza order.
Chelsea waited until Danni turned off her phone before she spoke again. “If you and Darren didn’t have a fight then why are you sleeping in the middle of the day?”
“We didn’t have a fight. I asked a question and he gave me an answer I didn’t want to hear,” Danni admitted.
Marcy frowned. “What did you ask him?”
“If he’d trade our relationship for the chance to get his arm back,” Danni replied.
“And he said yes?” Marcy gasped.
“Of course he said yes,” Chelsea said. “You can’t blame him. His life was a whole lot easier before the accident.”
“I don’t blame him,” Danni said, fighting fresh tears. “The thing is I would too. If I could, I’d give him up to give him back his arm.”
“Why would you even ask him that?” Chelsea asked.
“To make up the month of school he missed, he has to do a paper about the accident and I was helping him with it,” Danni explained. “Anyway, we started with the good and went to the bad. He said he’d give anything to go back to that night and make everything that happened since then go away. That’s when I asked him if he’d trade us for that chance and he said yes.”
“That sucks, but it wasn’t fair,” Chelsea said. “He couldn’t be honest. If he said no, you wouldn’t have believed him. If he said yes, you’d end up depressed in a dark room.”
“I know,” Danni conceded. “I don’t even know why I asked. I don’t know why I can’t be happy with what we have now and stop second guessing it.”
“No offense, but I’ve kind of wondered how you can handle dating him,” Marcy said.
“What are you talking about?” Danni said. “Darren is a great boyfriend.”
“How so?” Marcy asked. “Everyone makes fun of him behind his back, which means they’re making fun of you.”
“Well everyone should mind their own business,” Danni retorted.
“Come on, Danni, be honest,” Chelsea said. “Darren isn’t the same guy you fell in love with all those years ago. He’s always picking fights with you and expecting you to do things for him. He can’t play ball or draw or drive. He can’t even write his own name.”
“Darren is the same guy I fell in love with,” Danni insisted. “Four years ago I didn’t know anything but his name and his position on the baseball team. That was a crush, and this is love.”
A heavy silence settled between them. Danni regretted telling them the truth. She’d never be able to change their minds about Darren. Every time something went wrong in the relationship, her friends would always be there to remind her of what a stuck-up jock he used to be. It wouldn’t matter how nice he’d been all the times since then. They’d always be hung up on that one thing.
Chelsea frowned when the doorbell rang. “Since when is Domino’s that fast? It hasn’t even been half an hour.”
“Maybe it’s not the pizza guy,” Marcy said. “Maybe it’s a murderer.”
Danni gave in to a smile. “Do murderers ring the doorbell first?”
“Some do,” Marcy said.
“Then come with me if you’re so worried,” Danni suggested.
With her friends on her heels, Danni trotted down the stairs to answer the door. Instead of finding the pizza delivery man on the other side, she found herself face to face with the roses she’d left in Ann and Gerald’s car the night before.
“Darren?” Danni asked.
Darren lowered the bouquet. Like the flowers, his face was a soft shade of red. “I, uh, thought you’d be alone. I tried to call, but you didn’t answer.”
“How did you get here?”
“I drove.”
“You drove? Why would you do that?”
“I’d do anything to prove how much I love you,” Darren said. “This thing with you and me is real, more real than anything my parents had when they were our age.”
“I guess he is a great boyfriend,” Marcy spoke up.
“Yeah, he’s not bad,” Danni said. “I think I might keep him.”
Darren smiled as he held the flowers toward her. “Then would you mind taking these? They’re kind of heavy for a guy with one arm.”
Danni rescued the flowers from his grasp. “I’m sorry. Did you want to come in and have some pizza with us? It should be here soon.”
“No, it’s okay. Just walk me to my car.”
“I’ll be right back,” Danni told her friends.
Instead of going back into the house, Chelsea and Marcy remained standing on the threshold. Danni ignored their knowing looks as she followed Darren to his car.
“I can’t believe you drove over here for me,” Danni said.
“It was hard.” Darren leaned against the car and snaked his arm around Danni’s waist. “I needed to see you. I thought I’d lost you.”
“You didn’t. I shouldn’t have asked you that question.”
“I wouldn’t trade us for the chance to have my arm back.”
“You don’t have to say that.”
“It’s the truth,” Darren insisted. “My dad and I talked about it after you left, and he made me realize I gave you the easy answer instead of the truthful one.”
“I don’t understand what that means.”
“When I lost my arm, I thought I lost who I was, but I didn’t. I found the real me and my life with you.”
“Are you sure?” Danni asked.
“I’m sure. Someday you’ll be sure too.”
“I’m sure now, D.J.”
“You know, if you and I get married we’ll have the same initials, and I can call you D.J. too.?
??
Danni laughed as she tilted her head back to look up at him. “Yeah, like you really want to marry me.”
“Why not?”
“What about college?”
“You can go to college. I’ll wait.”
“Don’t you want to go to college?”
“I don’t know,” Darren replied. “I always thought I’d hitch a ride with baseball and study art.”
“So, study art without playing baseball,” Danni suggested.
“Why? It’s not like I can draw anymore.”
Danni laughed again. “Okay, then you can stay home and watch the kids, and I’ll be a successful lawyer or doctor or something.”
Darren glanced down at his missing arm. “I don’t know if I can handle kids by myself.”
“You should stop underestimating yourself. Just because you can’t do things now doesn’t mean you won’t ever do them,” Danni said. “Maybe they’re not the things you thought you wanted to do, but you never know, they might be better.”
Darren smiled. “Okay, I’ll stop underestimating myself on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“You have to promise to stay with me forever.”
“It’s a promise,” Danni answered as she stood on tiptoes to kiss him.
Chapter Twenty
On Monday morning Danni met up with Darren and the rest of their friends in front of the school. “Here’s your paper,” she said, handing him a folder. “There’s four copies in there; one for each of your teachers.”
Darren gave her a kiss as he reached for her hand. “Thanks, baby.”
“Gee, Danni, I have some papers I could use typed up,” Chelsea joked. “Would you mind doing them for me?”
“Maybe if you only had one arm,” Danni answered, and Darren grinned at her while Marcy’s eyes widened.
“That doesn’t bother you?” Marcy asked him.
“No, what bothers me is people acting like they’re afraid of me or that they don’t see me,” he replied.
“That makes sense,” Chelsea said. “By the way, did I hear you use the M word on Saturday night?”
Darren frowned. “The M word?”
“Yeah, as in marriage.”
“No clue what you’re talking about.”
Chelsea laughed. “Yeah, right.”
“Saved by the bell,” Danni said as the first one of the day rang.
“I’ll call you later,” Darren said, giving her a quick kiss before they all split up.
* * *
When she walked out of sociology class, Danni already had her phone in her hand in anticipation of Darren’s usual call. As she rounded the corner, she skidded to a stop. Darren stood outside their English class surrounded by a group of smiling girls.
“It’s so cool that you won homecoming king, Darren,” Annabel told him.
“Thanks,” he replied.
“How come you didn’t go to the dance?” Jade asked, and Darren shrugged. “You should have. It was totally fun.”
“Yeah, it was, and I wanted to dance with you.”
That came from Tara Roth. Like Annabel and Jade, she was a long time admirer of Darren’s.
“Thanks, but I have a girlfriend,” Darren said.
“That’s sweet,” Tara said.
“And it’s so cool you won homecoming king, even if you do only have one arm now,” Jade added.
Danni sucked in her breath. When Darren’s face began to redden all three girls backed off.
“I, um, didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” Jade said.
Danni pushed her way into the middle of the group of admirers. Without even saying hello, she stood on tiptoes to press her lips against Darren’s. He slid his arm around her waist while she wound her arms around his neck. As he pulled her tighter against him, his tongue swept into her mouth. Danni forgot all about the other girls as she returned his kiss. When they finally broke apart, Darren kept a tight grip on her. Though he smiled as he rested his forehead against hers, Danni could read the hurt in his eyes.
“You okay?” she asked.
“I am now that you’re here,” Darren said. “It just sucks, you know. It’s like no matter what happens, I’ll never be good enough ever again.”
Danni moved her hand to his cheek. “You’ll always be good enough for me, no matter what.”
“That’s why I love you,” he said, bringing his lips to meet hers once more.
The tardy bell rang, but neither of them made a move to go inside. Danni didn’t care if she was late to class or not. All she cared about was being with Darren.
* * *
A difficult test kept Danni from getting out of her fourth period class on time. If she didn’t hurry, she was going to be late meeting her friends for lunch.
Better call Darren, she thought as she dipped her head inside her purse in search of her cell phone.
Like almost everything else when she wanted to find it, the phone lay at the bottom. When she came up with it, she came face to face with Spencer Collins. Danni tried to sidestep him, but he moved with her to keep her from getting by.
“What do you want?” Danni dropped her phone back into her purse.
“To talk to you,” Spencer replied.
“What makes you think I want to talk to you? Besides, are you sure you want to be seen with an ugly ass bitch like me?”
“I didn’t mean that.”
“If that’s an apology, it’s a pretty bad one.”
“I’m sorry I said those things,” Spencer said. “The truth is it freaked me out to see Darren.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“The thing is me and Darren have been best friends since seventh grade.”
“Oh, so that’s why you ditched him after the accident?” Danni asked.
“I didn’t want to face him yet,” Spencer said, dropping his gaze. “It’s my fault he lost his arm and I couldn’t take hearing him say that.”
“Why are you telling me this anyway?”
“I wanted to know if you thought he’d be my friend again. I miss him, Danielle,” Spencer admitted.
“It’s Danni,” she said, and Spencer frowned at her. “My name is Danni, not Danielle.”
“Oh, uh, sorry about that. So, do you think there’s a chance?”
“I think you should ask him,” Danni said, stepping around him.
As she headed to the front of the school to meet her friends, Danni could not believe Spencer Collins. Besides the horrible things he said about her, the guy dumped his best friend when he needed him most and now he wanted to act like none of it ever happened.
Danni grimaced when the tinkling of Whitney’s fake laugh floated toward her. Just a few steps ahead, Whitney stood arm in arm with Garrett. As usual, the two of them were surrounded by the rest of the cheerleader and football drones.
“Hey!” Whitney called as Danni tried to slide past them without being seen. “Hey, Darren’s girlfriend!”
Danni took a deep breath as she turned to face the group. The giggling of their friends didn’t worry her as much as the calculated way Whitney appraised her. It was as if she was the lion plotting her attack on Danni, the baby gazelle.
“Tell Darren I said congratulations on winning homecoming king,” Whitney said.
Danni’s eyes widened. “Um, okay, sure.”
“Of course, we all know the only reason he beat Garrett is because the whole school feels sorry for him because he’s a crippled freak now,” Whitney added.
Something snapped inside of Danni. Maybe it was because she was still seething about her encounter with Spencer, but her body reacted before her mind could intervene. In one quick motion she gave in to every fantasy she’d ever had and slapped Whitney Wheeler across her face.
“You bitch!” Whitney cried as she lunged for Danni.
Both girls grabbed for a clump of the other’s hair with one hand while trying to punch each other with the other. A tight circle of amped up students chantin
g the word ‘fight’ formed around them. Months and maybe even years of frustration left Danni as she jerked on Whitney’s hair while trying to turn her face into road kill.
Every insult Whitney ever said danced in her mind. Doesn’t it feel weird when he’s hugging you with only one arm? Slap! This is Darren’s much older, much hotter brother. Wham! I think you’ve got the wrong room. The triple D club doesn’t meet here. You know, dorks dating the disabled. Take that, bitch!
A rough hand suddenly seized her by the shoulder. “That’s enough!”
Though they stopped fighting, neither girl was willing to let go of the other.
“Let go of each other this instant,” Mr. Morgan ordered.
Danni resisted the urge to give Whitney’s hair one final tug before letting go. Even after she disentangled her fingers, several strawberry scented strands were still wound around them.
“Get your things,” Mr. Morgan said. “You’re coming with me.”
The vice-principal’s tight hold on Danni’s upper arm made it difficult for her to retrieve her things, but he didn’t seem interested in making things easier. If anything, his punishing grasp told the tale of things to come. As he led them toward the office, murmurs of excitement rippled through the crowd that was slow to disperse. Other than her and Whitney’s names, Danni couldn’t make out what they were saying.
No longer in the thick of battle, Danni’s face began to throb and she wondered how bad she looked. The vice-principal’s bulky body wedged between them made it impossible for her to see if she had managed to do any damage to Whitney. When they reached the office, Mr. Morgan had no choice but to let go of the girls so he could open the door. The minute they were inside, he ushered them toward the line of chairs outside Mrs. Jensen’s office.
“You sit there,” Mr. Morgan told Danni. Then he turned to Whitney and pointed to an empty space two chairs away. “And you sit there.”
The girls glared at each other as they slumped into their chairs. While Mr. Morgan unhooked the walkie-talkie from his belt, Danni took a good look at her opponent. It was almost impossible to hide her smirk at the sight of Whitney’s hair sticking up in all directions. Even better were the fat, bloody lip and bright red finger marks crisscrossed on both of her cheeks.
Mr. Morgan returned his radio to his hip and didn’t speak as he stood between the girls, keeping a close watch on them. Either he thought they were going to make a run for it or else finish what they started.