Having made the drive to the hospital so many times over the last few weeks, it was now second nature to Danni. She still found it hard to believe how much had changed in such a short time. Only a month ago, Darren was the most popular guy in school. Now people seemed to have forgotten he existed, having satisfied their obligation to him by signing the leadership banner.
Danni parked the car and then got out to walk across the parking lot of Children’s Medical Center. As she stepped inside, the familiarity of the place struck her. In the beginning, the sterile smells and hectic pace of everyone around her had been more than a little intimidating. Now she found a strange sort of comfort in the hospital.
Darren and Justin offered Danni a smile when she entered the room. Justin rose from his usual place beside the bed and gave the chair to Danni.
“How are you feeling?” Danni asked as she reached for Darren’s hand.
“I’m fine,” Justin replied and then laughed at his own joke. “Oh, you were talking to D.J. Sorry, my bad.”
Danni giggled. “I don’t think people still say my bad.”
Justin clutched his chest. “Are you trying to say I’m old? Are you hearing this, D.J.?”
“Yeah, I hear it. Don’t you have to work tonight?”
Justin grinned at him. “Why? Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“I just don’t want you to be late,” Darren said.
“All right, I can take a hint. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be here early.”
Darren bit down on his lower lip. “Promise?”
The vulnerability in his voice made Danni’s heart swell.
“I promise,” Justin replied. “I’ll make sure I’m the first one here.”
“Thanks, J.J.”
“You got it, kiddo,” Justin said and resumed a smile. “See you guys tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow,” Danni echoed.
As she watched Justin leave, she thought again about what a great brother he was. She couldn’t imagine Nick spending hours by her side, even if she was sick in the hospital. Sure he would care, but he wouldn’t live his life around her the way Justin did around Darren.
“Have you guys always been that close?” Danni asked.
Darren glanced at the empty doorway. “Yeah, everyone says it’s weird, but we never fought.”
“You’re lucky. I don’t think Nick would know my name if I wasn’t there to remind him of it,” Danni said, and Darren gave her a half-hearted grin. “So, what movie do you want to watch tonight?”
“I don’t know.”
“We could skip it if you want.”
“Whatever you want.”
“Maybe I should let you get some rest since you have surgery tomorrow.”
Darren tightened his hold on her hand. “Don’t. I don’t wanna be here alone. Not tonight. Okay?”
“I won’t leave until they kick me out,” Danni said, forcing a smile. “You think any of the nurses would notice if I slept in this chair?”
Darren laughed. “Yeah, they might, but you don’t have to do that.”
“I’m kidding. There’s no way I’m letting you see me first thing in the morning.”
“I’ll bet you don’t look that bad.”
“Ah, that’s sweet. Just what every girl wants to hear.”
“I’ll bet you look beautiful in the morning,” Darren tried again. “How could you not when you’re the hottest girl in the whole world?”
Danni’s cheeks pinked, but she laughed along with him.
Darren’s expression suddenly sobered. “I’m scared, Danni.”
“Of the surgery?” Danni guessed.
“Not that part. I’ve had surgery before,” Darren said. “I just don’t want it to fail, like it did last time.”
Danni frowned. “What do you mean?”
“On the night of the accident, the paramedics brought my arm with them and gave it to the doctors to see if they could save it,” Darren explained. “The doctors took one look and said it was too mangled.”
Danni’s eyes widened. “They brought your arm here? Like they just walked in with it?”
“It was in a cooler or something. One of the paramedics pulled it from the accident site and put it in some ice.”
“Do you remember that?” she asked.
“No, the doctors told me later, after I heard they thought about reattaching it but couldn’t,” Darren said. “What if it happens again? What if they can’t fix it and I lose the rest of my arm?”
Danni swallowed the lump forming in her throat. “I don’t know, D.J.”
It was a terrible answer, but it was all she could come up with. She just hoped the doctors had a better one.
* * *
After coming home from the hospital, Danni settled down in front of the television where she waited for a chance to talk to her mom. She wasn’t paying any attention to the show. Instead, she couldn’t stop thinking about Darren and his surgery the following morning.
What if they can’t fix it and I lose the rest of my arm? Danni couldn’t get Darren’s desperate plea out of her head, nor could she dislodge the images created by his confession. Her stomach turned a little at the thought of the paramedics sifting through the accident site and picking up the severed arm. Danni didn’t know what sickened her more; the image of some guy walking around holding Darren’s arm or the image of it being too mangled for the doctors to save.
The sound of the front door opening interrupted her dark thoughts. “Hey, Mom,” Danni called.
Charmain’s shoulders jumped. “Danni, you scared me.”
“Sorry. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Can it wait until tomorrow? I could use a shower.”
“It’s important.”
“Okay, well at least let me get something to drink,” Charmain replied.
Danni got up and followed her mom into the kitchen. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“I cut my morning classes today, but before you freak out, I had a good reason.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“You know I’ve been visiting Darren Jacobs at the hospital,” Danni said, but her mom just stared at her. “Well, anyway, I’ve been going every day, and we’ve gotten to know each other.”
“What does this have to do with you cutting classes?” Charmain demanded.
“The thing is, Darren and I are kind of going out now.” Danni dropped her eyes as a blush heated her cheeks. “Anyway, he called me this morning and said something was wrong, and I went to the hospital to be with him. He didn’t ask me to go. I did it on my own.”
“What was wrong?” Charmain asked.
“His arm’s infected and he needs surgery,” Danni said as fresh tears filled her eyes. “He’s got this small stump left, and the doctors might have to remove it because it’s infected.”
Charmain opened the refrigerator and extracted a bottle of mineral water. “That sounds tough,” she said and paused to take a drink. “Now you see what comes of drinking and driving.”
“Darren wasn’t drinking that night,” Danni countered.
“Be that as it may, that didn’t stop him from getting into a car with other boys who were drinking,” Charmain pointed out.
“He made a mistake,” Danni insisted. “A mistake he should be forgiven for. What if it was Nick or me in that accident? Wouldn’t you forgive us?”
“Of course. You’re my children.”
“I think Darren deserves the same forgiveness. He made a mistake he’ll have to live with forever, and I don’t think it’s fair for everyone else to punish him.”
“What are you asking me, Danni?”
“Darren’s surgery is tomorrow and I want to be there. It means I’d miss school.”
“Isn’t it a little late to ask my permission to miss school?”
“I could’ve gone and you might never have known, but I’m telling you because I want to be honest from now on.”<
br />
Her mother eyed her for a long time. Danni held her gaze, determined to show that she meant every word.
“You’re growing up,” Charmain said softly. “You’re growing up and I almost missed it.”
“Does this mean I can go to the hospital and be with Darren and his family for the surgery?” Danni asked.
“If you’ll let me come with you,” Charmain decided.
“Don’t you have important things to do at work?”
“I can miss the morning,” her mother said. “Besides, there’s nothing more important than being there for my daughter when her boyfriend goes in for surgery.”
“Thanks so much, Mom.” Danni threw her arms around Charmain.
That went better than Danni expected. She thought her mother would be angry and refuse to let her be with Darren before his surgery. The last thing she expected was for her mother to insist on being there as well.
If things could go that well for her tonight, maybe they could go as well for Darren tomorrow.
Chapter Eight
Thinking about Darren’s surgery kept Danni awake late into the night, but it still didn’t stop her from waking up before the alarm went off on Friday morning. Once she showered and put on some clothes, she headed downstairs. Already dressed in jeans and a sweater, her mother sat at the kitchen table reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
“I thought you were only taking the morning off,” Danni said.
“I changed my mind,” Charmain replied with a smile. “Is that okay?”
Danni returned her smile. “It’s great.”
“So, do you want me to drive?” Charmain asked.
“Maybe we should both drive,” Danni suggested. “I might want to stay longer than you.”
“That makes sense. Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah, but I wish we didn’t have to.”
“I know, sweetie. Imagine how Darren must be feeling though.”
Danni didn’t have to. His words from the night before still haunted her. What if they can’t fix it, and I lose the rest of my arm?
Danni felt like her body was on autopilot as she drove to the hospital. Before she knew it, she was pulling into the parking lot. Her mom parked her own car alongside, and they emerged from their vehicles at the same time.
“Where do we go?” Charmain asked.
“His room is on the fifth floor,” Danni said.
As her mother wrapped an arm around Danni’s shoulders, they began walking toward the entrance. Neither of them spoke as they rode the elevator to the fifth floor. The small space of Darren’s hospital room was overflowing with visitors. Danni recognized only a few of the people crowded inside.
Justin gave her a tired smile. “Hey, Danni.”
“Hey, J.J. Did you have to work late last night?”
“Yeah, I got home about two.”
Danni was just about to introduce her mother when Darren’s parents approached. She waited until Charmain had a chance to meet everyone else, and speak to Ann and Gerald, before pulling her toward the bed.
“Hey,” Darren said. “I guess I’m popular again.”
“Very funny,” Danni replied. “Darren, this is my mom, Charmain Singer.”
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Singer,” Darren said, holding his hand out.
Charmain’s eyes drifted to his missing arm as she shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, Darren. I hope you don’t mind that I came today.”
“I don’t mind,” Darren said.
“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if your parents need anything,” Charmain said.
Darren reached for Danni’s hand. “Your mom’s nice.”
“Yeah,” she answered, realizing she never thought so before today.
“Will you sit with me?” he asked.
“Are you sure it’s okay with your whole family here?”
“Please, Danni. I need to tell you something private.”
“Okay,” she gave in.
When she sat down next to him, Darren seized her hand and placed it over his heart. It pounded rapidly beneath their linked hands.
“I’m scared,” Darren admitted. “I’m scared if I lose my whole arm you won’t feel the same way about me, but I’ll still feel the same about you.”
“And how do you feel about me?” she asked.
“I love you, Danni,” Darren whispered in her ear.
Despite the gravity of the situation, Danni couldn’t help smiling. Those were the words she’d been waiting so long to hear. “I love you too, D.J.”
“I like it when you call me D.J.”
“I know, just like you know I’ll still love you if you lose your entire arm.”
“Will you still think I’m…”
“You’ll always be the best looking guy in the world to me.”
As they held each other’s hands and gazes, the noise around them faded away. For just a moment, Danni forgot she was in a hospital. There were no doctors or surgery or concerned family members talking in hushed voices. It was just the two of them.
“Wow, we’ve got a full house!”
Dr. Forbes’ voice brought Danni back to reality. The doctor stepped into the room and weaved his way through the crowd to get to Darren’s bed.
“It’s just about show time, Darren,” Dr. Forbes said. “Do you have any last minute questions or concerns?”
“No,” Darren said, keeping his gaze on Danni.
“The nurse will be here in about five minutes to take you back to the prep room,” Dr. Forbes informed Darren. “Then we’ll get you some of the sleepy stuff and take you to surgery.”
Five minutes passed too fast for Danni. When the nurse came to take Darren for surgery, his family rushed toward him to offer their final words of encouragement. Danni stepped back to give them more room.
“I’m sorry, but we need to go,” the nurse insisted.
“Wait,” Darren said. “Please let me say something to my girlfriend.”
The nurse relented and Darren held out his hand. Danni stepped closer and took it.
“I love you, Danni,” he said.
“I love you too, D.J.”
Family and friends lingered in the hallway as the nurse wheeled Darren out of the room. “We’ll take good care of him,” she said before they were out of sight.
Charmain wrapped an arm around Danni’s shoulders. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Danni said. It was Darren she was more worried about.
“Well, how about if I make a run to the cafeteria and get you something to drink?” Charmain offered, and Danni nodded. “Would anyone else like something? My treat.”
“I think I’ll come with you if you don’t mind,” Ann replied.
Charmain smiled at her. “That would be great. I’d love the company.”
“We’ll meet everyone in the waiting room.” Gerald gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. “Take your time. I’m sure it’ll be a bit before we hear anything.”
As the two women walked toward the elevators, and everyone else began to shuffle down the hall, Danni stood as if rooted to her spot. The tears she’d been fighting back since last night suddenly sprang to her eyes.
“Danni?” Justin asked. “Are you coming?”
Straightening up, she brushed the tears away. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “Your mom’s great. I’m glad you brought her.”
“Thanks, me too.”
“You know what I’m even happier about?”
“What?”
“I’m glad you came to see my brother and that I talked you into coming back,” Justin said. “You have no idea how much it means to D.J. to have a girl that can love him like this.”
Danni frowned at his choice of words. “Why not? He’s still the same person.”
“That’s why you’re perfect for him,” Justin said.
The two of them headed down the hall and sat down side by side in the padded chairs of the wa
iting room. Darren’s father sat across from them and offered Danni a kind smile.
“We’re glad you and your mom are here,” Gerald told her.
Danni’s cheeks pinked. “Thanks.”
“You look like your mother. I’ll bet you hear that all the time,” Gerald said.
“Sometimes,” Danni agreed.
When her mother and Ann returned with everyone’s drinks, Justin stood and helped pass them around.
Charmain offered a Styrofoam cup to Danni. “I thought you’d like an iced tea.”
Danni managed to smile up at her mother. “Thanks.”
“Mind if I sit with you?”
“No.”
Danni still couldn’t get Darren’s words out of her head. What if the doctors couldn’t save his arm? It would be yet another loss for him, only even more devastating.
Gerald leaned across the space between the chairs and placed a hand on Justin’s knee. “Are you all right, son?”
Justin nodded as his gaze slid down the hallway in the direction of Darren’s room. The sadness and fear in his eyes tore at Danni’s heart, reminding her of how Darren sounded when they talked the night before. She wished there was something she could do or say to make Justin feel better, but she was just as worried as he looked.
“You know, there’s something I’ve been wondering,” Danni began, hopeful she could take their minds off the surgery. “How’d you and Darren end up calling each other by your initials?”
Justin shrugged. “I don’t remember.”
Gerald smiled at them. “I do.”
“Why do I have this feeling you’re about to tell an embarrassing story about me?” Justin asked.
“Didn’t you know that part of our job as parents is to tell embarrassing stories about our kids?” Gerald joked. “Of course, this one isn’t all that embarrassing, but I’m sure I could come up with one that is.”
“Maybe you should stick to this one,” Justin suggested.
“You’re no fun,” Gerald teased with a chuckle. “For years, Justin begged us to give him a brother; not a sister, but a brother.”
Danni thought of Nick. Maybe that’s why they weren’t as close as Darren and Justin. Maybe they would have been if she had been born Daniel instead of Danielle.
“When Ann finally got pregnant with Darren, Justin was convinced he was a boy before he was even born,” Gerald said.
“You mean you didn’t know before then?” Danni asked.