A few weeks later Taylor came home one evening from his ongoing work with Wilbur when Lilly Ann greeted him at the door and waved Wilbur good-bye. She pulled Taylor inside the house, her face glowing with an unfamiliar intensity and kissed him passionately on the lips.
“Guess what?” she asked out of breath.
“You are wearing a new dress,” Taylor gladly played along.
“Yes, that too,” Lilly Ann waved him off, “What else?”
“New shoes?” Taylor was unsure were this was headed.
“Yes, but look,” she slowly lost her patience. She lifted her new dress up to her shoulders, “Can’t you see it?”
“You are wearing new underwear, I like it.” Taylor remarked, “But if that’s not it I’ll be happy to carry you to the bedroom to have a closer look.” He grinned mischievously at her.
“No, that’s not it,” Lilly Ann huffed and lowered her dress much to Taylor’s dismay.
She took Taylor’s hand and dragged him into the kitchen.
“Sit down, apparently we have to do this the grownup way,” she was not happy about his slow comprehension. “Remember the other day in the yard when we talked about South Central and your friends and you going back to help them?”
“Yes, I do,” Taylor answered, “What does that have to do with your new underwear?”
“Could you be a little more single minded, please?” Lilly Ann scolded him while caressing his hand all the while, “Forget about my underwear for a moment.”
“O.k., you got it,” Taylor said, glancing at her dress again.
“Remember how you asked Lilly the first time you thought about going back?” she wasn’t making this any easier for him.
“Yes,” came the slow reply. There was an obvious question mark attached to his answer.
“Well, you can ask Lilly again this time,” Lilly Ann said with a curious undertone.
“I don’t know,” Taylor began, but Lilly Ann put his hand on top of her belly.
“This Lilly,” she said, “our Lilly.”
Taylor’s eyes flew wide open.
“You mean,” he had a hard time coordinating his speech, “you mean you are...”
“Yes, my love,” Lilly Ann said genuinely amused, “I am pregnant. There is a little Lilly growing under your hand.”
“I am ... this is ... when ... how?” Taylor kissed Lilly Ann’s neck and cheeks and hands still unable to form a coherent sentence.
“I know,” she said softly, “I am so happy, I could burst, but that has to wait for another seven months.” She obviously had not lost her quirky sense of humor.
Taylor was stunned. A child, his child, their child, their Lilly. Tears of joy were streaming down his face and all he was able to stammer was, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
They sat on the old kitchen bench for a long time, embracing each other tightly, trying to adjust to the onslaught of almost unbearable bliss. Buzzing with love for each other and for their unborn treasure they did not move until - well, until Lilly Ann’s arm fell asleep.
“I have to move my arm,” she whispered with barely withheld laughter, “and I have to go pee, a privilege of the pregnant, you know.” She slowly slipped out of Taylor’s embrace and he could hear her giggling and skipping all the way down the hall until the bathroom door had closed behind her.
Unable to move, speak or even think he just sat there, waiting for his love to return and release the spell.
The news took a while to fully sink into the minds of the soon to be parents. Time and again Taylor and Lilly Ann found themselves pausing in the middle of a conversation, compelled to rethink their standpoint on the issue at hand in light of the increased complexity of their life circumstances. The shift in weight and direction of their discussions was invigorating on the one hand but slightly confusing all the while.
“What do I know about being a mommy?” Taylor heard Lilly Ann’s frustrated question followed by noisy sniffling as he opened the bedroom door.
He had just returned from delivering and installing one of his metal creations to an art connoisseur when he heard strange voices from upstairs. He had expected to find Lilly Ann in conversation with a visitor and was surprised to see her sitting on the bed by herself, traces of tears on her cheeks, clenching a pillow to her chest.
“What do I know about being a mommy?” she turned and looked at him with tear filled eyes.
Without even trying to find an answer to this impossible question he sat on the bed and tried to pull Lilly Ann into his arms. He did not anticipate the resistance he was suddenly facing.
“This is not going to do this time,” Lilly Ann pouted, “I need an answer and I need it now.”
“Who have you been talking to before I came in?” Taylor tried to change the subject.
“Leila,” Lilly Ann said without hesitation.
“I haven’t heard that name in a while,” Taylor got curious, “Last time I asked you who Leila was I didn’t get a straight answer from you.”
Lilly Ann looked at him asking herself how he cold not know.
“Abraham’s little sister,” she said simply, “Leila is my spirit guide, my inner being. You’ve talked with her before.”
“I guess I have,” Taylor smiled, “I just didn’t know that she was the infamous Leila.”
“Well, she’s not much help today either,” Lilly Ann huffed, “For once I need an answer really bad and she is nowhere to be found. All I hear is the echo of her voice repeating ‘All is well, you are loved.’ But that’s not going to do it today.”
Taylor was alarmed and amused at the same time of his mate’s out of character antics. Usually Lilly Ann was the one throwing commonplace phrases at him until she had worn him down to consider engaging his thinking muscles and contemplate alternatives to his pre-manufactured ideas. For a split second he was tempted to return the favor.
“So what was the problem again?” he decided an alternative approach, “I think you know everything there is to know about being a mommy.”
The phrase quenching a fire with gasoline crossed his mind the second his words were out.
“What would you know,” Lilly Ann jumped at him without warning, a living example that rage feels better than fear, “This is all your fault anyway. I never even thought about having a baby before you showed up.”
“But you are so great with kids,” Taylor tried to get a word in.
“Yeah, sure, I love playing with kids. If they would let me I’d rather eat at the kid’s table every time. When any of the other kids get hungry I am the one to complain the loudest until someone feeds us, but I was never the one who got up to prepare the food. I want our Lilly to have a real mommy and not just a playmate who doesn’t know how to take care of her baby.” Lilly Ann pulled a large handkerchief from under her dress and blew up a hurricane.
“Bringing in the ships, are we?” Taylor tried to cheer her up.
“Very funny,” Lilly Ann laughed reluctantly, “This is not helping either.” Betraying her own words she blew her nose again and giggled, almost her own self again.
“Do you think Leila would talk to me?” Taylor asked cautiously.
“What do you want to ask her?” Lilly Ann was skeptical.
“I’d be curious if she could find out what Lilly thinks about your concern,” Taylor mused, “She was the one who picked you from all the mommies that she had to choose from. I know for a fact that we will have a very smart kid, so she must have had her good reasons, right?”
Lilly Ann looked at Taylor in utter amazement for his logic. Above the mountain of her fear, through the haze of her tears rose a bright beacon of light, casting away shadows and doubt. Its warmth and comfort swept across the barren land of despair and showed her the path out of this false jungle of thoughts.
“Lilly,” she tugged on Taylor’s arm, “You are right, our Lilly, she knows, she knows everything.” She jumped to her feet and started bouncing up and down on the bed. “It’s g
oing to be all right, everything is going to be all right.” She fell back onto the mattress. “Come here John Taylor my smart hunk,” she pulled him to lay next to her, “Lilly said, ‘It’s going to be all right,’” she whispered into Taylor’s ear and nibbled his lobe, “Have I told you lately that I love you? - I do.”
Exhausted from being lost and rescued from the torment of her dark thoughts she fell asleep with a bright smile on her face.
The question had crossed Taylor’s mind how to provide for a family in the uncharted economics of abundance, which prevailed in Flugerton. The absolute lack of either currency or any form of accounting of treasure left his keen sense of give and take unsatisfied and the desire to prove his ability to carry his own weight sometimes provoked awkward situations for himself and his victims. Taylor had learned his lesson from his handyman episodes which had almost severed his and Lilly Ann’s ties to Flugerton’s society but he still had difficulties to count his selfishly motivated metal art or his work for Wilbur’s Condor adequate payment for the constant flow of goods and services he enjoyed on a daily basis.
Whenever Taylor brought up this issue with Lilly Ann or anyone else for that matter, they claimed to not know what he was talking about and changed the subject. Now he was starting a family and he had made up his mind that he would get to the bottom of this.
“What do you know about money?” he asked Edie May who curiously looked up from her studies at the sudden question.
“John, good to see you, I sometimes get lost in my reading and did not see you come in,” she apologized, “Why are you inquiring about money?”
“I am trying to figure out how I can provide for my family,” Taylor came right to the point, “Where I come from we make sure that we earn enough money to pay for everything we need or want, so there is no mystery about what you can afford or how you are doing financially. It’s simple. Here I don’t know how or why I get what I and my family need so I don’t know how to provide any kind of security for them.”
“Hm, interesting dilemma,” Edie May acknowledged, “I know about money from the Abraham-Hicks recordings, they talked about it frequently. It seems to me that money was a lot of trouble for many people in those days. How was the experience of money for you, John? Did it flow easily to you?”
“Not always,” John admitted, “many times it was quite a struggle to make ends meet, but at least I always knew where I was standing. I got by good enough.”
“I guess you have noticed that we don’t have a monetary system in place and that no one keeps score about the flow of goods and services, but that wasn’t always the case,” Edie May surprised Taylor, “You see, in the beginning the settlers were used to paying for whatever they received and they had brought their money with them, so a lively exchange ensued. It did not take long though, for many to realize that by utilizing Law of Attraction for satisfying their desires, they usually had more of everything than they could use, so they started to give things away. Over time that developed into the economic system of abundance that we live in. It turned out that if one does not have to take the amount of compensation they receive for a task into account, there is someone for every kind of work that is supposed to be performed. Sometimes that seems like a miracle, even to us, but at some point you just stop to argue against what works and go with the flow. If there ever will be a situation that would make it necessary or desirable to change that system, I have absolute faith that Law of Attraction will bring about that change in a natural unfolding. There really is nothing to worry about.”
“I have seen the system work perfectly on a day to day basis,” Taylor agreed, “But what about long-term security? I don’t want my child to have to worry even if things might change around here.”
“I have seen you, John,” Edie May looked at him intently, “I have seen how you deliberately and successfully made our world your own. Your worth and benefit to this society is out of the question, and so is your children’s. There is nothing to prove. Security is in what we know, not in what we have.”
“But what am I going to do?” Taylor was not convinced yet.
“The greatest gift anyone can give to the world,” Edie May said with much emphasis, “Is to fill his days with whatever brings him the most joy. What brings you the most joy, John Taylor?”
Taylor nodded his head. “Thank you, Edie May. Always a great help.” He knew that this was the only answer he would ever get form the good people of Flugerton. He would have to figure out for himself what this meant to him.
“I hear you want to fly to Texas?” Edie May said casually as he was getting up to leave.
“Hard to keep a secret around here,” Taylor smiled wryly, “But I guess things have changed since Lilly Ann told me about our Lilly.”
“You don’t sound very convinced,” Edie May observed, “This can’t be an easy decision either way, right?”
“No, it is not, granted,” Taylor answered, “I am going back and forth on the issue. Fact is though, I do not want to miss my child’s birth or seeing her grow up. Strange timing in all of this, I don’t really know what to make of it.”
“Maybe the burden of choice should not be yours alone?” Edie May suggested.
“Lilly Ann said the same thing, ask Lilly, but can I really put that on her?” Taylor didn’t know what to think.
“Oh, I think you misunderstand the process,” Edie May saw through his dilemma, “Lilly is not the one to make the decision, that is always yours, what she can do, is to give you clarity about what you really want, where your heart really stands. A choice with that knowing is a lot easier to make.”
Relief washed over Taylor’s face. He was unsure if he would ever be able to naturally take the simplest solution and run with it until more information, knowledge or clarity was available to him. He has seen it work though, so he was determined to give it a try.
It was easy to loose track of time in the daily pursuit of joy. The changes Taylor saw in Lilly Ann were gradual, yet dramatic. Her whole being seemed to conform to the transition that her outer form underwent. Her eyes, always lively and quick, bright and sparkling, gained depth and clarity and reflected the world around her in soft glowing hues of amber. Her movements did not slow down as much as they began to flow with an ethereal grace. Her voice added a new timbre with weight and purpose to its repertoire and her laugh had found knowing and truth. It wasn’t so much that she changed, really, she just became more of herself in every way.
Even if he hadn’t consulted the makeshift calendar which he had carved for his tool shed, Taylor would have known without any doubt that the time drew closer when the miracle of life would, for a brief moment, let the world hold its breath in reverence for what can be witnessed, but cannot be explained. The women in Lilly Ann’s life had begun to gather and made the Taylor house the center of their attention. The birth of a child was a welcome excuse to remember and amplify the female spirit in both women and men. A serene celebration of the circle of life as it began once again its unending dance.
“It is time, John,” Lilly Marlene, Willie’s latest love affair, quickly poked her head into the tool shed where Taylor straightened out his tools for the umpteen’s time, unable to get his thoughts focused on any productive work.
“Thank you, I’ll be right in,” Taylor acknowledged and stopped by the bath shed to clean up on his way into the house.
He found Lilly Ann wearing a loose fitting, almost translucent summer dress sitting on the sofa in the guest room, casually joking with Edie May and Lilly Grace about the challenges of wearing high-heeled sandals while trying to balance the additional cargo in her belly. Her face was glowing with the smile of an angel as she motioned Taylor to sit next to her.
“You are more beautiful than ever,” he whispered into her ear.
“Yes? What are you going to tell me tomorrow?” she teased him.
“That you are more beautiful than ever,” Taylor smiled at her.
She purred her satisfact
ion with that answer and snuggled up against him.
“I think Lilly wants to say hello to us,” Lilly Ann announced a few moments later.
She moved herself into a comfortable position, finding support in the closeness of her mate, as the intervals between her contractions grew shorter. The other women readied themselves with soft warm towels and blankets to receive the newborn into their arms. Within a few minutes Lilly Ann’s breathing became deep and deliberate to help the baby on its first step into the light. Taylor’s arms steadied her shoulders, his gaze fixed on her face. As her expression changed from playful curiosity into that of intent listening to the signals of her body, to being swept away by the tide of emotions from joy to bliss to pure ecstasy he knew without seeing that her womb had opened to deliver its precious cargo into the focused stream of wellbeing which we call life.
“Welcome to planet Earth, Lilly,” Lilly Ann spoke the first words her daughter would hear. Her voice choked by tears of joy she cradled the baby girl in her arms and helped her find the nourishment she was craving after her exhausting travel. Holding mother and child in his arms, Taylor found himself devoid of words that would come even close to expressing the flood of love and gratefulness that poured through him. So, with no one talking, the only sounds to be heard were soft gurgles and cooing and little burps of a happy hungry little girl enjoying the first meal of her life.
A few weeks later John Taylor formed the question in his mind that had been with him ever since Lilly Ann had told him the news of Lilly growing in her womb. They had come to an understanding that Lilly, their Lilly, should have a say in the big question if Taylor should go back to the civilization he had come from to tell them about the ways of Abraham and Abrahamster, about Law of Attraction, about eternal life, vibration, the Art of Allowing and the amazing power of feeling good.
He would not have missed the birth of his daughter for anything in the world. Holding her in his arms and feeling the blessed pure connection with her inner being turned out to be the crowning experience of his time in the mountains of Oz, but the time of decision had come. There was no use in delaying the inevitable.
“Is it my place to go and try to teach my old friends of the wonders I’ve seen and learned here or is my place with you and Lilly Ann here in Flugerton? I would so love to see every moment of you growing up to express your spirit in this wonderful time and space, but I also still feel a responsibility and connection to the life I left behind. Please give me clarity to find the path of greatest joy and purpose.”
Taylor held this question in the center of his mind for what seemed to be an eternity, sixty-eight seconds of eternal now. There was no fear, no doubt and no worry in his mind, just the un-rational knowing that whatever would happen would be the perfect unfolding for who he had become in the last three years.
Lilly was snuggling her nose into the warmth of Taylor’s arms cradling her and expressed her enjoyment of the moment with soft sounds of wellbeing. The energy she radiated seemed to amplify the warm glow of the muted lights in the room. As she opened her bright green eyes a smile spread over John Taylor’s face. He just could not help it. Starting with a soft wrinkle of the corners of his eyes it claimed his whole face until his lips would not contain his teeth anymore and he burst out into laughter of relief from the answer that had crept into his mind.
Lilly’s tiny hand had wrapped itself around his index finger with a might as if she would never let go of it again, as the distinct voice of a five year old girl blurted out loud within his mind, “You are not going anywhere, you big goon! Not before you teach me how to swim, to ride, to dance, to fly and to love. Definitely not before you know my name.”
After a short pause a much older voice added softly, “When the others are ready to know they will find their way to you.”
To be continued…
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