The morning after Ariel’s death, Brenna found she could not get out of bed; she was so tired. She called in sick to work for the next two days. On the third day, an hour after calling in once more, someone knocked on her door. She lay in bed, eyes on the TV, waiting for the intruder to go away. The knocking continued for several minutes and then she heard Molly yell, “Brenna, I’m going to go get the super to open this door if you don’t! You’re scaring me! Now open up!”
Brenna shuffled to the door in her wrinkled flannel pajamas and unlocked it. Molly opened it and charged in, a breath of fresh air following her.
“What’s wrong? Have you been to a doctor? You look awful.”
“Gee, thanks, Moll. Good to see you too.” Brenna crawled back into bed.
Molly put her hand on Brenna’s forehead and Brenna brushed it away. Molly looked around the darkened bedroom and saw dirty plates on the bedside table, laundry on the floor. The air was stale and stuffy. She looked back at Brenna with concern.
“What’s up, Bren? Talk to me. This isn’t like you.”
Brenna looked at her with dull eyes.
“I don’t know. It must be some bug going around. I’m just tired, so tired.” She looked back at the TV. “How is Jack doing?”
Molly paused. “His intestines are failing. He’s in critical condition.”
Tears welled in Brenna’s eyes and ran down her cheeks. Molly hugged her closely.
“You know we can’t save them all, honey. We’re not God.”
“Molly, I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch them die, watch them go home damaged or to abusive parents,” Brenna sobbed. “I can’t do it anymore, no more.”
She hadn’t really realized it until she heard about Jack, but this was the end. All her life she had wanted to be a nurse and it was a dream come true for her to work in the neonatal unit. But the sadness and stress had taken too large a toll. Molly got up to get her some tissues from the bathroom as the tears continued.
“Honey, I think you should seriously consider taking some time off. When was your last vacation anyway?” she asked.
Brenna wiped her face, a wasted effort as the tears flowed unchecked. Molly stopped talking and sat quietly beside her on the bed, the Lucy and Desi rerun babbling in the background. They stayed there for the better part of an hour until Brenna took a big breath and wiped her eyes for the last time.
“I’m going to take a leave of absence, I think, and if they won’t let me have it, I’ll quit. I’ve had nothing to do with my money all these years but save it toward a house. Maybe the house won’t be here after all. I have to get out of this city.”
“I wish you wouldn’t leave, but I think you’re burning out. I can’t imagine not having you nearby. You won’t go far, will you? Please tell me you won’t go live near Maureen in Michigan,” Molly said.
“The idea here is to get away from stress, not run to it,” Brenna laughed through her tears. “Anyway, I love the northwest. Maybe the beach, I’ve always wanted to live near the ocean.” And as quickly as that, she changed her life forever.