Then Diamond and I had to scurry back to the station to catch our train. Diamond slept for most of the journey, practically walking in her sleep when we had to change trains. But when at last I tucked her up in our own bed at Miss Gibson’s, she murmured sleepily, ‘Promise you’ll make me a new dress, Hetty!’
I LET DIAMOND sleep late again the next morning and went downstairs for breakfast by myself.
‘Good morning, Hetty,’ said Miss Gibson, a little coolly. ‘Do you have another day trip planned for today?’
‘It’s work today, Miss Gibson. Sewing all day, and the Cavalcade tonight,’ I said. ‘You didn’t mind too much that we went to the seaside yesterday? I did leave you the note explaining I was going to introduce Diamond to a dear friend.’
‘Yes, I know you did, dear. I didn’t mind at all,’ she said, though she sounded reproachful. ‘Of course, I worried a little.’
I felt guilty, though I couldn’t see why it was such a crime to take Diamond out for the day. And why should she worry? I might act like a baby in the music hall, but I was a grown girl now, fully capable of caring for one small child. I shuddered at the thought of the Foundling Hospital, but at least life had been simple there. You knew what the rules were, and if you broke them you were severely punished. You didn’t have to fuss about hurting people’s feelings.
‘I’m sorry, Miss Gibson,’ I said all the same, because I liked her and didn’t want to upset her.
‘Oh, it’s not me you should apologize to, dear. It’s your Bertie,’ she said.
‘He’s not “my” Bertie,’ I told her.
‘He’s your sweetheart, isn’t he?’
‘He’s everybody’s sweetheart.’
‘Well, he’s been a very good friend to all of us, hasn’t he? Remember what a lovely time the four of us had the Sunday before last? And he was all prepared to take us out again. He came round yesterday lunch time with all kinds of plans. When he heard you two had gone off on this sudden adventure, he seemed very surprised and upset – especially when I showed him your letter,’ said Miss Gibson.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake! Bertie didn’t say he was coming round on Sunday. We can’t sit around all day hoping he’ll put in an appearance,’ I said crossly.
‘You’re a strange girl, Hetty,’ said Miss Gibson. ‘I thought you liked Bertie. You want to hang onto him or someone else will come along and snap him up.’
‘See if I care,’ I said childishly.
I did care, and we both knew it. I spent the day hoping that Bertie would come round, even if it was just to pick a fight with me, but he stayed away. So I stitched diligently until I’d finished Mrs Ruby’s orange and gold gown. I ironed it very carefully, praying that it wouldn’t shrivel or scorch, and aired it in the back yard. It still seemed a little plain for a flamboyant lady like Mrs Ruby. I’d have to add a little extra decoration – something that would sparkle in the limelight.
‘You’ve done a lovely job on that, Hetty,’ said Miss Gibson. ‘We’ll keep that design just for Mrs Ruby as she’s my best customer and very particular about wearing a bespoke outfit, but I dare say we can adapt it a little and sell a ready-made version in the shop. You’ll work on it with me, won’t you, dear?’
‘Yes, of course, Miss Gibson,’ I said. I wondered how I was going to manage an enormous gown for Freda, a fiddly tiny gown for Lucy Locket, and a new dress for Diamond. I remembered dear Nurse Winterson reading us The Tailor of Gloucester when we were little girls, darning all afternoon at the Foundling Hospital. How I wished there were obliging little mice in the Gibson wainscot, ready to scuttle out at night and sew my dresses for me.
I tried to teach Diamond to sew, but her fingers were clumsy and her stitches uneven. She had come bouncing downstairs at ten, refreshed at last. I was so pleased to see that she still had rosy cheeks and a light suntan from her day in the fresh air. At first she seemed cheery, but became increasingly restless as the day progressed. I kept trying to set her little tasks or invent games, but she wouldn’t settle.
‘I wish Bertie would come visiting,’ she said every ten minutes.
Miss Gibson looked meaningfully at me and raised her eyebrows, though she didn’t say anything.
I made Diamond practise our act out in the yard.
‘Again?’ she said, but she went through it all obediently, and managed the leap onto my shoulders perfectly.
We set off for the Cavalcade at half past seven. As we rode along on the penny-farthing, some lads called out, ‘Hey, there’s the Little Stars! Good luck, girls!’
‘They know who we are!’ said Diamond.
Two women pointed at us too, and one said, ‘There’s those clever little kiddies from the Cavalcade!’
‘We’re famous, Diamond!’ I said.
Diamond wanted to go straight to the wings when we got there, to see Bertie perform.
‘You’ve seen him do his act lots of times. And you’ll see him in the second act too, with Ivy Green. We’re much better off staying in the dressing room. We’ll only get in the way. And I’d sooner keep clear of Mr Apple just now,’ I said.
Diamond pouted but did as she was told. We waited with the ballet dancers. They all made rather a fuss of Diamond and showed her how to do the five basic foot positions, and then a few simple twirls. They laughed with delight when she picked them up almost immediately.
‘Hey, hey, less noise in here, girls,’ said Mrs Ruby, putting her head round the door. ‘Ah, the Little Stars. I see you’re learning another party piece, Diamond. Very pretty. Mind you manage your little penny-farthing trick tonight, dear. You both carried it off splendidly, but I don’t want you to make a habit of it, understand?’
‘Perfectly, Mrs Ruby. And we’ll be perfect, I promise,’ I said.
All the same I had a little knot of anxiety in my stomach. When the bell went for the start of the second act, I suddenly wanted to grab Diamond and bolt from the Cavalcade altogether. I thought of that little cream villa with the pink hydrangeas in Bignor. I could set myself up as a gown-maker and build up a business just like Miss Gibson’s. Miss Feather’s Fancy Fashions. We would see our friends Freda and Lucy every day, walk on the promenade in the evening, and I would have a quiet word with Mama as often as I wanted.
I’d left the penny-farthing at the stage door with grumpy Stan. We could jump on it and pedal off at top speed. But we didn’t, of course. I wheeled it into the wings while Diamond squeezed through the queue of waiting artistes to find Bertie.
Samson Ruby was at the back of the wings too, kissing one of the dancing girls. He didn’t seem at all abashed when I came upon them. He sent her on her way with a proprietary slap on the backside. It didn’t hurt her and she just laughed. I was the one who winced.
Samson saw and laughed at me. ‘There! That’s what you get if you’re a naughty girl,’ he said.
‘Well, I’m exceptionally good so you’ll never have cause to lay a finger on me,’ I said, parking my penny-farthing.
‘Oh, you’re a sharp little miss and no mistake. I bet you’ve got a temper too, with that bright red mane.’ Samson reached out to touch it, but I quickly tossed my hair out of his way.
‘Hoity toity!’ he said. ‘Success gone to your head? Getting above yourself, are you?’ He said it calmly, but there was an edge to his voice that bothered me. He might be a lecherous drunk, but he was also a Ruby, and second in command of the Cavalcade. If he took against us, we were done for.
‘Not me,’ I said. ‘I’m just a little girl who’s got lucky.’ I spoke in my stage voice, trying to make myself seem even younger.
‘Just a lickle baby, eh? So what are you doing, cavorting in front of all the crowds with that little sister of yours? Where’s your ma, then? Doesn’t she want to keep an eye on you?’
‘She can’t. She’s dead,’ I said, and my voice wobbled.
‘Oh.’ His face softened. ‘Sorry to hear it.’ He patted me on the shoulder. ‘Run along then.’
I ran, double quick. I rub
bed at my shoulder, hating the feel of his fingers, though the pat had been meant kindly. I resolved to keep right out of his way in future. I found Diamond hanging onto Bertie’s hand, while he was whisper-singing his Flirty Bertie ditty to her. He glanced at me and then carried on singing, not missing a beat.
Ivy Green wasn’t in the wings yet, which was a relief.
I stood there, shifting from one foot to the other, while he totally ignored me. I stuck my head in the air to show I didn’t care – though of course I did.
When Bertie finished at last, he swept Diamond a deep bow and then kissed her hand, which made her giggle.
‘Oh, Bertie, you’re so funny,’ she said.
‘So, did Jem sing you a special song and kiss your hand?’ asked Bertie.
‘Jem?’ said Diamond, puzzled.
‘You know, the special dear friend of Hetty’s who you saw yesterday.’ There was an edge to Bertie’s voice.
Oh my Lord, he’d seen the note I’d written to Miss Gibson and jumped to entirely the wrong conclusion!
I sighed and shook my head. ‘You’ve got it all wrong, Bertie,’ I said.
‘Oh, hello, Hetty. I didn’t see you standing there,’ he said casually. ‘You had a good time on Sunday, I take it?’
‘A very good time,’ I said. ‘Diamond, tell Bertie all about my dear friend.’
‘No thank you. I’ve heard quite enough about him already,’ said Bertie.
‘It’s not a him,’ said Diamond, giggling again. ‘Hetty’s friend is a lovely, very, very big lady called Freda, and she stands on a bucket and silly people come and stare at her. She’s a giant. And she has a friend called Lucy Locket who’s very, very tiny – in fact, she only comes up to Freda’s kneecaps, and she’s a fairy. But they get along very well, and Hetty is going to make them each a new dress and she’s making me one too. I don’t know which colour material to choose. What’s your favourite colour, Bertie?’
Bertie was staring at her as if she’d started to talk in Jabberwocky language. ‘Come again, Diamond?’ he said.
‘What’s your favourite colour?’ she repeated.
‘For a dress? Puce, with blue and yellow stripes.’
‘Oh, Bertie! That would look horrid!’ Diamond squealed.
‘Less noise, little ’un,’ said Sven. ‘I need to concentrate on my breathing exercises.’
Bertie was looking at me at last. ‘Have you told her to tell me this stupid fairy tale? What sort of a fool do you take me for?’
‘A prize one. It isn’t a fairy tale. I took Diamond to the seaside, where I lived after I left Mr Buchanan’s. For a while I worked as a mermaid in a show tent of Seaside Curiosities – a sad freak show. Freda really is a kind of giant, but a sweet lovely girl. I’d promised her a dress a while ago, so I went to take her measurements.’
‘Which are huge!’ said Diamond. ‘I think Hetty will have to use a whole bolt of material.’
‘So why on earth didn’t you tell me where you were going on Saturday night?’ said Bertie.
‘You were too busy cosying up to Ivy Green,’ I told him.
‘What? I don’t cosy up to anyone,’ said Bertie. He lowered his voice even more. ‘Only you,’ he said quietly.
‘I saw you, Bertie – whisper-whisper-whispering with her.’
‘She was simply suggesting we add more comedy to her routine. She was wanting me to chase her around the stage, and it worked a treat.’
‘I’ll bet it did,’ I said tartly.
‘Oh, Hetty. We’re a pair of idiots, assuming all sorts of nonsense. I was so sure you’d taken little Twinkle to meet your Jem,’ said Bertie.
‘I’ve told you and told you, he’s not “my” Jem.’
‘So, am I your Bertie?’
I hesitated.
He took hold of my nose and gave it a little pinch. ‘Say yes, or I’ll twist it right off!’
‘Idiot! Stop it – you’ll make it all red. All right, yes. Yes, do you hear me?’
‘I hear you,’ said Bertie, and he bent his head and quickly kissed the very tip of my nose. ‘There, all better!’
And it was all better too, even when Ivy Green came sauntering into the wings looking sweeter than ever, a white rose in her hair and a black velvet band circling her even whiter throat. Bertie smiled pleasantly and admired her flower, but stayed by my side. When Samson Ruby announced our act, he squeezed my hand and then Diamond’s to wish us luck.
‘Go and twinkle, both of you,’ he said.
This time it all worked perfectly. We did the dolly routine, we chattered about pennies and farthings, I fetched the vehicle, I pedalled on stage, Diamond watched and ran and landed right on my shoulders, did her handstand, we both waved, and then came off stage to rousing cheers.
‘Well, you two little girls certainly are little stars!’ Lily Lark was standing in the wings, still in her silk wrapper, an embroidered turban round her hair. She was smoking a black cigarette in a long holder, a picture of languid sophistication. The other artistes were standing back respectfully to give her more space.
She was so awe inspiring that I wondered if I should drop her a curtsy. Diamond did just that, holding out her skirts prettily, and Lily Lark laughed.
‘Look at you – pretty as a picture! And very talented too. That’s quite a trick, leaping up onto your sister’s shoulders like that. Though I hear you came a cropper on Saturday?’
Diamond hung her head.
‘But you saved the day – turned it into part of your act.’ Lily Lark was looking at me. ‘Did you grow up in the theatre, duckie? You certainly seem born to perform.’
I smiled at her. She’d never, ever guess I was a foundling. No chance of performing in that strict hospital! Well, there was the Christmas living tableau in the chapel, but the matrons had never picked me to take part. They had chosen Gideon, my foster brother. I remembered him as the Angel Gabriel, suspended in the air in his white silk robe, his face shining with joy. Then I thought of Gideon’s face now, horribly cratered by a bullet, and a twist of love and pity made me wince.
‘I was a circus girl. We both were,’ I told Lily Lark.
‘I was little Diamond, the Acrobatic Child Wonder,’ added Diamond.
‘And I was the child ringmaster,’ I said.
‘What a pair!’ said Lily Lark. ‘Do you miss the circus now?’
We both shook our heads vehemently.
‘So you’re set on stardom in the music halls, is that right?’ she said. ‘Thinking you’ll soon take my place at the top of the bill?’
‘We’re only little stars, Miss Lark, not a great star like you,’ I said quickly.
‘You’re a smooth talker – a very clever little girl. Mrs Ruby’s chosen well. You’re all that she says. Well, carry on the good work, girls. We’ll all have to look to our laurels, for all you’re acting so modest. There’s a steely glint in those big blue eyes!’ She laughed again and sashayed back to her dressing room, leaving an exotic aroma of Turkish cigarettes and sandalwood perfume in her wake.
‘Oh, my! Fancy Lily Lark coming to have a gander at you!’ said Bertie. ‘You’ve certainly stirred things up, you two. I’ve never known her to put in an appearance like that before.’
‘Oh, she came specially to see me when I first started at the Cavalcade,’ said Ivy Green. ‘She liked my act. She said I was a chip off the old block – meaning her. I took it as a great compliment.’
‘She could have meant you’re just copying her,’ said one of the ballet girls who’d been teaching Diamond steps.
‘Yes, Diamond’s performance is unique. I’ve never seen anything like it and I’ve been round all the halls,’ said another. ‘And she’s still so little too.’
I said nothing, but I smiled smugly to myself. ‘Come on then, Littlest Star, we’d better get you home,’ I said. ‘Bye, everyone.’
Ivy Green didn’t deign to respond – though Bertie blew me a kiss.
‘I do like all those ballet ladies,’ said Diamond as we cycled
home.
‘So, you like performing now?’ I asked eagerly.
Diamond was silent. I couldn’t turn round to look at her without wobbling.
‘Didn’t you hear the applause? They absolutely love us, Diamond. Especially you. You’re the talented one,’ I said.
‘I couldn’t do any of it without you, Hetty,’ she said.
‘But it makes you feel good, doesn’t it, when it all goes well and they clap and clap?’ I persisted.
‘I like it – yes, I do,’ said Diamond, still sounding doubtful. ‘I really liked learning ballet with those ladies in the dressing room. I’d love one of their lovely sticking-out dresses. Oh, Hetty, could you make me one of those?’
‘All right, I will. Perhaps you’d like to learn ballet dancing? I mean, properly. We could maybe pay for you to have lessons. Would you like that?’
‘I don’t really like doing things properly. I like doing things just for fun,’ said Diamond.
I sighed. ‘Perhaps it’s because you’re still so young,’ I said.
I tried to think back to when I was Diamond’s age. Had I felt the same way? There’d certainly been precious little fun at the hospital. After the carefree time I’d spent with my foster family, it had all seemed so bleak. I remembered those wonderful games up in the squirrel tree with Jem. But even then I’d longed for something more, something colourful and magical, a fairy-tale world where I could somehow shine.
Tanglefield’s Travelling Circus made such an impression on me when it came to our village. I still remembered every single act from the first time I watched, when I was only five. Madame Adeline was still in her prime and had her six rosin-backed horses. Something still stirred in my blood when I thought of the circus, even though I’d seen the sad and sordid side, the cruel beatings Beppo had inflicted on little Diamond, the callous sacking of dear Madame Adeline herself.