She believed she loved him, and the ache in his chest at the knowledge of the pain that belief had brought her, that it would bring her, tightened through him. Even now he could see the grief she felt, and her fear that emotion would never be returned.
It hurt more than he had thought it would.
“I’ll protect you, Tehya,” he whispered, his free hand cupping her cheek, his thumb brushing over her lips. “In all the years we’ve worked together, I’ve never lost an agent, have I?”
“Never,” she answered, staring back at him painfully, her gaze haunted with so many hopes and fears, and the realization that dreams were just never meant to be.
He wanted nothing more than to erase the pain in her eyes. To see a smile in her gaze, to see just the smallest glimmer of happiness. In that moment, Jordan realized he would do whatever it took to give her a chance at that happiness. Even if it meant destroying the illusion of emotion she thought she felt for him.
Her lips parted against the pressure of his thumb as those incredible green eyes flashed with exactly what he wanted to see. Mixed with the vulnerability, the emotion she believed was love, he saw that moment when her heart, her brain, her senses locked into the emotion and her trust in him cemented.
For a moment, he let himself bask in that emotional heat, a response he was certain, absolutely positive, she was even fully unaware of.
And it had been achieved with an ease that indicated the depth of emotion she had felt for him before ever leaving the base in Texas.
That knowledge tightened his guts. In a split second he was hard, and filled with such remorse that it shocked him.
Just because he knew the love she thought she felt was no more than an illusion, a cruel, vicious, emotional prank, didn’t mean she would ever accept that fact. It didn’t mean she believed in it any less.
From the moment she had arrived at her home and found him there, he had pushed her toward one end. Toward the complete and total trust he needed her to feel. And now that she was there, he felt nothing but disgust for himself.
“Protect my family, too, Jordan.” A hint of steel flashed in her gaze then. The trust was there. That belief he had needed so desperately to ensure she would work with him rather than against him. But with it was also a warning. Tehya could make a formidable enemy, and if her family was harmed, that was exactly where this course would lead.
He let his lips quirk into a small smile as he forced the lie of amusement into his gaze. A lie because amusement was the last thing he felt.
Unlike his precious Tehya, he knew exactly how to lie with every cell of his body.
“Your family is completely protected,” he assured her. “I promise, I even have plans B, C, and D where their safety and protection is concerned.”
He was all about his plans. For a moment, just a moment, he wished he could be more about believing in love than about believing in reality.
To keep that regret harnessed, his head lowered and his lips brushed against hers, gently, but with a restraint that made his body tighten and ache with renewed hunger.
As her lips parted, as the fiery heat and infusion of emotion filled her kiss, Jordan wished, for the first time in too many years to count, that he too believed in love.
Tehya’s lashes drifted open as the kiss slowly eased away, her senses immersed in the pleasure of a contact that shouldn’t have had such an effect on her.
She loved him, though. The emotion she had never been able to restrain welled inside her as she stared up at him, wishing she could hold the heart of the man that held hers so easily. A man who refused to believe love could be more than an illusion.
As her lips parted to speak, a heavy knock at the bedroom door echoed through the room.
“Hey lovebirds, we have a delivery out here.” Nik chuckled in amusement.
Tehya almost swore Jordan was ready to roll his eyes.
Staring down at her, Jordan backed away slowly. “I’ll go out and talk to him.” His lips quirked in amusement. “For some reason, it bothers me that Nik would see you half-dressed, in our bedroom.”
Shocking. And Jordan didn’t often shock her.
There was the faintest hint of male possession in his tone, as though he had already laid his claim to her. As though he intended to keep her.
Tehya gave her head a hard shake as he left the room to talk to Nik, the sound of the possessiveness in his voice still rocking through her senses. How she had needed to hear that, because Jordan never felt possessive. She had never known or heard of him to be jealous of any woman.
She was checking her appearance at the mirror when Jordan stepped back inside minutes later. “Mikayla delivered the dress.” Entering the room fully he laid the ball gown over the bottom of the bed before turning back to her
His gaze was darker, less a sapphire blue, perhaps closer to a navy. As though in the moments they had been apart, some dark memory had filled his senses.
The soft, shimmering folds of the dark violet material looked like a splash of vivid excitement against the white comforter. It was just as she had envisioned it when she and Mikayla had discussed the design. Strapless, with an empire waist and yards of violet silk falling to her feet over the white silk underskirt, it was both romantic and sensual.
The bodice cupped and loved her breasts, while the rest of her curves were hinted at and teased the senses. An illusion of height was added, then given a boost by five-inch matching heels that had been delivered with the dress.
A soft, matching cape with a white silk lining, and a white clutch purse for essentials, and Tehya knew she would be drawing gazes. Thankfully, the flesh-colored bandage Jordan had somehow procured, normally used for wounded operatives on covert assignments, hid the wound on her arm.
That had been one of Jordan’s requirements for the dress, that it be eye catching. That it please his senses and arouse him. When he had seen the drawn design, his lashes had lowered, and Tehya herself had become aroused by the look of latent lust in his expression.
“We’ll be arriving a little late,” he informed her as she ran her fingers over the shimmering silk. “I prefer an hour. Tonight, entrance means everything. The invitation list went out to all the guests and we’ve already begun receiving other invitations from those my family and I are acquainted with as well as associates of the Taites. We’re here only to support Senator Stanton and his son-in-law though.”
She nodded slowly. “I understand.” His friends would wonder about her, and ask questions later, when she was no longer a part of his life.
Of course, he would be uncomfortable with that. Jordan rarely chose a lover in the position of associating with his family. She let her fingers run over the material of the dress once again. She wasn’t going to allow his reluctance to take her around his friends affect the memories she was making.
It was the thought of the Taites though that had her chest tightening.
“Tehya?”
It was her silence that had him moving closer to her, watching her expression as she lifted her gaze to meet his.
“Would they have liked me, Jordan?” she asked, her voice almost too soft to hear, her expression so vulnerable, so filled with a hunger to belong that he wanted to kill Sorrel himself. She was so damned beautiful, kind, compassionate. Any family would be proud of her.
“Tehya, they wouldn’t be able to help themselves.” It was in that moment that he knew he was in serious trouble where those unnamed emotions for her were involved. They rose like a tidal wave inside him and threatened to swamp his normal good sense.
His arms went around her, drawing her close to him as he suddenly realized all the emotions she had hidden through the years. She had kept to herself, staying in her suite as he had done when there was no work to bury himself in.
She had fought for the same distance he had, and for similar reasons. Because the pain was too intense when the illusions were ripped away. Or, in her case, when she lost those she loved.
He should have nev
er allowed her to hide in such a way, Jordan admitted.
“It’s too late,” she whispered against his chest, her fingers curling against his shirt to hold on to him. “It’s just too late.”
It was too late to go home. Too late to be a part of a family that would never understand the woman reality had shaped. And in a way, Jordan agreed with her. Unless they had an idea of the world that had created her, then they would never be comfortable around her.
“Perhaps you can never go home,” he whispered. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t forge your own place, as Teylor Johnson.” Easing back, he stared down at her once again. “You don’t have to admit to your familial ties, Tehya, to be a part of a family. All you have to do is be willing to be a friend.”
She would be an asset to any friend or family she chose, he thought. The honesty and compassion that was so much a part of her would always draw others to her, like a moth to a flame.
As she drew him. There were days he wondered if he would ever escaped the tangled web of emotion he knew she would wrap around him if she could.
Love. Hell, that illusion was stronger, was more than he was and he knew it.
Finally she gave a short, sharp nod before turning and heading to the bed where her dress was laid out.
Letting her go was the hardest thing he had ever done. He wanted nothing more than to hold her. And to give her the one thing he swore he’d never give anyone. The illusion he suddenly wished he could convince himself of.
Love.
“I’ll finish dressing, then,” she told him quietly as she glanced at the clock. “We should have just enough time for your preferred arrival.”
He frowned back at her suspiciously. “It doesn’t take an hour to put a dress on, Tey.”
She almost smiled at the doubt in his tone, and in his face.
“True,” she agreed. “But it often takes longer than that to finish the look, Jordan. Stockings can’t have runs, the skirt has to lay just right, my makeup will have to be adjusted for the color because I didn’t expect the depth of the shimmer once the gown was completed.”
She was trying desperately to maintain her control, and Jordan had no idea how to ease the pain in her eyes. That left him with the only option at hand. A strategic retreat until she needed him to hold her, to assure her once again that there was no reason why she shouldn’t be loved.
“Enough said.” He lifted his hand to halt the subtly mocking explanation. “I’ll leave you to dressing while I discuss the security layout and the guests with the others.” He indicated the door to the rest of the suite with a sharp turn of his head. “Just let me know when you’re ready.”
“I’ll be sure to do that,” she promised as she moved to the head of the bed and loosened the material from the padded hanger it was secured to. “As I said, an hour, perhaps a bit more.”
For just as long as she could draw it out.
For some reason, Jordan seemed determined to bring her face-to-face with her family, and she had a feeling it had more to do with his belief that she should align herself with them than the belief that being there would allow him to identify who gave the orders to the men threatening her.
As much as she craved family and connections, she knew that connection had been broken with her grandparents’ deaths. All the wishing, all the tears, or all the regrets in the world couldn’t change that.
“Just be yourself, Tehya,” he reminded her again, suddenly behind her when she had expected him to leave the room.
One hand gripped her hip for a second as his head lowered and he placed a soft kiss at the curve of her shoulder. “I promise, no one could help but to love the person you are.”
Everyone but him.
“Of course.” She tried to convince him she believed it, though they both knew otherwise. “I would just prefer that it hadn’t come to this.”
He nipped her flesh, causing her to jerk and turn her head to stare back at him in surprise.
“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” He grinned. “We’re just getting ready to have some fun, baby. Where’s your sense of adventure?”
Before she could answer him he was drawing away from her and moving from the room. The bedroom door opened and he disappeared through it, closing it behind him with a decisive snap.
There was definitely something to be said for the days when he spent more time trying to ignore her than to seduce her, she thought with a sigh.
At least then the knowledge of her future hadn’t been so clear-cut.
Now, she was certain, no other man but Jordan would do, which meant that after he was gone, she was looking at a very lonely existence.
But she wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
* * *
“There you are.” Travis Caine was preparing to knock on the bedroom door when it opened.
Stepping through, he was ready to close the door when Travis stopped him and handed him a small cellophane pack.
“Flash bandages,” he informed Jordan. “Covers the wound and hides it. Lilly thought she might need it with the strapless gown. And there’s enough for several uses there.”
Jordan frowned back at him. “Those are damned hard to come by, Travis.” And he knew they were; they were items he’d had problems acquiring even during his time as Elite Ops commander. He was right though, Tehya would more than appreciate it.
“Thanks, Travis.” He nodded back to him. “I appreciate it.”
“Eh, thank Lilly, she thought of it.” He inclined his head back toward his wife.
“I should have known that,” Jordan quipped before crossing the room to where the others were waiting.
Jordan faced the men awaiting him in the parlor of the suite, his gaze narrowed, any amusement or sense of fun that he may have given Tehya evaporating.
Getting the team back together hadn’t been hard. The moment they had known Tehya was in danger they had come running, several of them with their very dangerous wives in tow. Those wives were there now, in full party dress, like goddesses of beauty sent to tempt mortal men.
“What do we have?” He glanced at his nephew, his unofficial second in command.
“Everyone has received their guest lists and everyone’s buzzing. Hell, Jordan, maybe we should socialize more,” Noah reported, his darker eyes amused at the knowledge that others were excited at the prospect of a Malone being in town. A testament to Riordan Malone Sr.’s popularity when he was younger. “The Taites are fairly quiet, though Lauren, Stephen’s wife, has extended a lunch invitation to the Malone party.” His lips quirked mockingly. “Speculation is going wild over the identity of your guest, Teylor Johnson, though. Even the Taites are making inquiries. Within hours, they were aware of the fact that you were indeed the same Jordan Malone that refuses to sell the Malone property in Ireland, that they’re so desperate to acquire.”
Jordan had been aware of that for years. Unfortunately for them, he had no intentions of selling the Malone family properties. Not in Ireland, nor in America.
“And they’re normally the ones to care the least,” Lilly Harrington Caine, the daughter of an English lord spoke up. “The Taites abstain from gossip mongering and concentrate instead on their various charities and on family. To have them asking anything about anyone is a major coup.” There was no sarcasm in the words, simply a statement of fact.
“It’s Jordan’s charm.” Noah grinned. “They simply crave having Jordan tell them ‘No’.”
Jordan almost grinned. The Taites were persistent if nothing else. A trait Tehya had definitely inherited.
“We’ll see if they bring it up face-to-face,” Jordan said. “Perhaps they’ll believe me when I say it isn’t for sale this time.”
“Stephen Taite believes everything is for sale,” Lilly cut in at that point. “He’s quite determined to own that castle, Jordan. He learned Travis perhaps knew you, within hours of his arrival in the states this week. He’s already contacted us again this morning, wondering if we could arrange a m
eeting for him. We’ve declined, by the way.”
Jordan snorted at her cheeky grin.
“He only wants it because it’s something he’s been refused,” he growled as he moved across the room to the bar.
“You’ve picked up tails here at the hotel.” Nik changed the direction of the conversation. “Tenneyson and Arthur and their backup team are dividing their time between here and the Taites’. We believe they have the Taites’ rented estate bugged, but we’re not certain yet.”
“Of course it’s bugged.” Jordan knew he would have had it bugged if he were Tenneyson and Arthurs. The electronic listening devices would allow the team to easily split their time while still being assured no potential players slipped past them.
“We haven’t learned who’s hired them yet,” Noah said. “We’re still working on it.”
Nodding, Jordan poured himself a stiff drink before knocking it back and relishing the burn in the pit of his stomach. Nothing could sear away the disgust eating at him, though, or the restless anger at the game he was playing with Tehya’s emotions. The excuse that it was for her own good wasn’t helping in the least.
“Find out who these bastards are.” Jordan diluted the furious snap in his voice for the women’s sake.
There was no sense in pissing their husbands off because he knew he was getting in over his head with a woman.
Still, they stared back at him, uncertain why this mission suddenly counted so much more than all the others before it.
“We’re searching, boss.” Micah was the only one brave enough to answer. “Until then, we have Tenneyson and Arthurs covered.”
“Something else seems to have come up, though.” John Vincent had sat silently at the conference table until now. “We have a new player.”
Jordan turned to him with a heavy sigh. “And who might that be?”
“Journey Taite’s boyfriend arrived,” he drawled. “Several years older than she. Beauregard Grant. He’s a third cousin to Andrew and Melissa Grant.”