Page 16
He needed her. He’d called out to her, and she’d been so distracted by his body she’d nearly forgotten.
She guessed that calling for help was something he’d do only while asleep, when his sense of pride was dampened, and there was no way Nika could deny him. She knew their fates were tied together, even if he and everyone else refused to believe her. Even if that blasted luceria didn’t believe her. She knew.
The fact that he needed her even a little made her feel stronger than she had in years. She wasn’t going to let him down.
Nika released her mental guards, abandoned caution, and flung herself from her body into his.
Pain slammed into her, nearly knocking her back out of his mind. Screaming agony writhed inside him, scraping at his mind with sharp claws, shredding his soul until it bled.
She had no idea how he could stand it. Clearly, this was why he’d called for her. The Synestryn were doing something to him, torturing him.
The fact that she’d taken time to touch him when he was suffering like this made her want to shrivel in self-disgust. How could she have been so selfish?
She had to help, but she couldn’t possibly fight pain this intense, so instead, she tried to accept it and let it slide over her.
It didn’t work. The pain pounded into her, battering at her as it tried to drive her back. A part of her huddled against the pain, weeping in despair of ever escaping it. If her body were here, it would have been ripped to shreds, torn into pieces too small to ever be put back together. How Madoc could survive it, she had no idea, but she knew she had to help him. She couldn’t let him endure this on his own.
She forced herself to relax more, to let the pain slide past her like water, leaving her unaffected. She imagined herself as a tiny pinpoint of nothingness—too small to be a threat, with no surface for the pain to push against.
Slowly, the agony began to fade. The dark talons scraped by her, missing the tiny little bit of nothing she had become. The power of that pain still pushed against her, forcing her to go along with it, but she could concentrate now and find the source.
It was like swimming against a current, and each bit of progress she made was hard-won and exhausting. Slowly, she inched toward the source of his pain, determined to slay it. After what seemed like days, she eventually made her way to the source.
Before her loomed something she’d never seen before in any of the people she’d visited. It was huge. Powerful. Hundreds of tentacles had sprouted from a pulsing, black mass to weave through Madoc like acidic vines. Everywhere they were, there was pain—waves of it radiating out so that no part of him went without agony.
As she neared, the tendrils seemed to reach for her as if drawn to her presence inside him. Whatever these things were, they knew her. She could feel it—sense their hunger to touch and possess her.
How was she going to fight something like that?
She had no clue, but the only hope she had was to follow one of the tendrils back to the center of the mass and slaughter it.
Moving along, evading the twitching movements of the tendril, she watched as it grew thicker and stronger the farther she went. It lunged toward her, but she flinched away, dodging it. She didn’t know what would happen if one of these things got hold of her, but she wasn’t willing to risk it to find out.
Slowly, she fought her way against the current of pain until she saw the center mass of this . . . thing. There was one small spot that was different from the rest—one bright, glowing patch the color of summer sunshine.
Nika was drawn toward that spot, unable to stop herself from moving nearer, from reaching out to brush against it and bathe in that light.
The tiny speck that was now her consciousness slid into that light, and instantly, she felt a sense of utter contentment. Complete and perfect peace. This warm, glowing light engulfed her, cradled her, and held her close. It whispered to her of hope, love, and joy, and she believed every word it spoke into her. She could stay here for the rest of her life and be happy. Here, she needed nothing. Time meant nothing. All the trials of the world fell away. Here, she was literally in love.
It was at that moment that she realized where she was. This black mass of wicked tentacles with its one single, perfect spot was Madoc’s soul.
Shock rippled through her, but it was distant enough that she wasn’t bothered like she knew she should be. There was something wrong here—something she wasn’t seeing, but the urge to ignore that and simply bask in the light was nearly impossible to fight.
Nika spun around, feeling like a child with no worries in the world. The edges of this glowing spot drew inward, shrinking around to hold her close.
That was when the realization hit her. This perfect shiny spot in Madoc’s soul was shrinking. The festering black agony was eating away at it, consuming the light, snuffing it out.
His soul was dying despite the fact that there were still leaves on his lifemark.
Horror exploded within her, sending her reeling. It yanked her out of that bright, perfect place, through the hideous, writhing tentacles, and back into her own body.
“. . . hell do you think you’re doing?” Madoc’s angry voice filled her ears, too loud and grating.
She flinched away from the noise, wishing she could go back into the blissful silence.
“You were inside my head, weren’t you?”
Her throat was too tight to speak, so Nika shook her head.
“Don’t lie to me. I felt you in there. Were you trying to read my mind?” His green eyes were bright with rage and his chest rose and fell with every angry breath.
Nika struggled to rejoin reality. She couldn’t tell how long she’d been out of her body, but the effort of sustained contact had left her drained and confused. It seemed odd and slightly wrong to feel things through her senses again. Everything was harsher and more intense. Even the feel of her nightgown against her skin seemed too much to bear. The dim light in the room could not compare to that of Madoc’s soul, and yet it was too bright, burning her eyes.
She felt his hand grip her shoulders and wanted to lean into his embrace and let him hold her until the world righted itself again.
“Answer me,” he demanded.
“No. Not your mind,” she tried to explain, but how could she? If he was angry because he thought she’d read his mind, he’d be furious to know she’d been inside his very soul. “You called for me. ”
“I did not. ” Indignation clipped his words, making them come out short and hard.
“You did. I was asleep, but I heard you. You called my name and I came. ”
“You dreamed it. ”
Fatigue pulled at her, weighing her down. Explaining was too much work. Besides, he wouldn’t believe her. People never believed her. It was easier not to say anything and let them think she was crazy. “Maybe I did. There was too much pain for it to have been real. ”
“Pain?” The word seemed to choke him. “Are you hurt?” His green eyes were bright with concern as they roamed over her body, checking for injury.
“Not me. You. ”
He let out a sigh of relief and pulled her close, hugging her against his bare chest. His palm cradled her head, holding it close to his heart. She could sense the branches of his lifemark struggling to reach for her, but they remained frozen in place beneath her cheek.
Nika snuggled closer, crawling into his lap, holding on to him in case he spazzed again and tried to push her away. His scent calmed her nerves. His heat eased her skin until her nightgown was no longer grating against it. Even her fatigue seemed to fade as she soaked in his body’s heat.
“You’re making me crazy,” he said in a quiet voice.
“It’s not so bad. You might even like it. ”
“Don’t joke. This is no time for jokes. ”
She pulled away enough to look up at him. His expression was tight. Closed. She stroked the side of his face, enjoying the feel of his beard
stubble beneath her fingertips. “You’re too serious. Life is short. You should enjoy it. ”
“Enjoying things my way would be a really bad idea for you. ” He was staring at her mouth now, making Nika nervous enough that she felt the compulsion to lick her lips.
His eyes followed the movement. His body clenched, and as close as she was to him, she could feel the strength of that motion as it shook her. Against her hip, she felt his penis harden.
“You like me,” she said, hearing her awe shine through in her voice.
“That isn’t about like, little girl. ”
The little girl comment stung, but maybe that had been a childish way of putting it. She wasn’t exactly used to talking to a man about sex, so she tried again. “You want me. ”
“I want you to get off of my lap. ” He tried to shift her away from him, but she held on, clinging to his neck. She liked feeling the proof that he wanted her, and she hadn’t felt it quite long enough to believe it yet. What she really wanted to do was touch his erection with her fingers, but she didn’t think he was ready for that yet. It seemed a little forward.
“Why can’t you admit it?” she asked. “We’re both adults. We’re allowed to want each other, right?”
His lips flattened out. “Time to get you back home. ”
“I’m staying here until I’m ready to go. We have important things to discuss. ”
“The hell you are. ”
“Why? Are you afraid I’ll invade your brain and turn you into my mindless zombie slave?”
“Hardly. ” He got up and set her away from him, then fled across the room. He kept the sheet bunched around his hips with one hand while scrubbing the other over his face. The whole time, he refused to look at her.
“I guess I was mistaken about the fact that you like me. You might want me, but you don’t like wanting me. I get that. But it’s not like I’m going to attack you. Give me one good reason why I can’t stay. You keep saying you’re going to hurt me, but you’ve never even come close, despite all your bluster and that potty mouth of yours. ” Nika sat on the floor, watching him, waiting for an answer.
“Keep pushing and you’ll find out the hard way. ”
“Please,” she scoffed. “I’ve been inside monsters scarier than you on your best day. ”
“I doubt that. ”
She got up off the floor and walked over to where he was standing. Maybe getting into his face wasn’t the smartest thing she could do, but she was tired of his running away.
She pushed him until he stumbled back onto the couch, and leaned down until she was at eye level with him. “I’m sure you do. I’m sure you think that you’re big and tough and mean and the world will come crashing to an end if you have to be stuck with me for one more minute. ”
“Not the world, Nika. Your world. ”
“Why? What do you think you’re going to do to me that’s so bad?”
He didn’t answer, and his silence pissed her off. Self-control had never been her strong suit, and right now, it was nowhere to be found.
She reached down, grabbed him by his luceria, and gave him a shake. “Answer me! What do you think you’re going to do that’s so horrible?”