Richard glared at me as the waiter approached the table. “Two white wines, please, waiter.”
“Richard, I’d prefer red.” I enjoyed being difficult with him.
He continued to glare at me. “Absolutely, LizAnne. Waiter, two red wines, please. So then, I guess you’ve been running errands.”
“No.” I replied in a sing-song voice.
“LizAnne!” He whispered-shouted.
“What, Richard?” I whispered-shouted in return.
“I’m trying to make conversation here so what in the Hell have you been doing this morning?” He shouted.
I looked from side to side and whispered. “Richard, lower your voice, people are looking.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Mmm, I like this wine, Richard, ask the waiter what it is so I can get some for the house.”
“As goofy acting as you are now, LizAnne, I don’t think we need any wine for the house.” Richard said with indifference, studying his menu.
“Goofy acting? Did you just say I’m goofy acting?”
“So, Goofy, have you decided what you want to order?”
“Yes, please, Richard, I’d like the Goofy Meal, the one that comes with the little toy.” I thought Richard was going to fall out of his chair laughing. I had never seen him so tickled at anything, and I could actually see him relaxing in front of my eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~
“So, how’s your salmon?”
“Absolutely delicious, Richard, I need this recipe.”
Richard chuckled, “I don’t think you’re going to get it, Celia tried for years. So, LizAnne, any chance you can tell me what you’ve been doing this morning?”
“Oh, that again? If you must know, Richard, I’ve been at Chuck’s.”
“Chuck’s?” Richard’s eyes narrowed. “Chuck, next door?”
“Same guy, Richard.” I replied, uninterested in the conversation, but very interested in my salmon.
Richard placed his fork on his plate. “What, may I ask, were you doing at Chuck’s?”
“Helping him.” Still disinterested in the conversation.
“Okay, here we go again.” Richard said with aggravation.
“Here we go again what, Richard?”
Richard leaned closer to me bending his head to eye me directly. “LizAnne, listen carefully…what have you been helping Chuck with?”
In between bites, I managed to answer. “We’re moving some of his furniture and doing a little dusting and vacuuming. And later we‘re going to…”
“Later? LizAnne, do I need to remind you that you work for me?”
“Thank you, Richard, I completely forgot I worked for you.” I held up my fork with a piece of salmon and smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~
“LizAnne, what are you doing?”
“Oh, hi, Richard, I’m just unloading some groceries for Chuck. I’ll be home in a few minutes.”
“Groceries for Chuck?”
“Yes, Richard.”
“Here, I’ll help you.”
“No thank you, Richard.”
“I said I would help you, end of discussion, and why are you buying groceries for Chuck anyway?”
“I picked up some groceries for Chuck because he needed some groceries, and please just let me take these in to Chuck myself.”
“LizAnne, I said I would…”
“Richard, Chuck doesn’t really like you so I’ll see you at home in a few minutes.”
“Doesn’t like me? I’ve never done anything to him…”
“Bye, Richard, go in the house now and wait there until I give you further instructions.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“LizAnne, did you spend the entire afternoon cleaning Chuck’s house and grocery shopping for him?”
“I got the recipe, Richard.”
“What?”
“The salmon recipe.”
“What salmon recipe?”
“The salmon recipe from lunch, Richard, remember? Boy, you really do have some type of memory problem.”
“Thank you, LizAnne, and how did you get this highly-secretive salmon recipe?”
“Well, I called Jay.”
“Who?”
“Jay Barringer.”
“And, who the Hell is Jay Barringer?”
“Only one of Eddie’s biggest supporters.”
“Okay, LizAnne, that makes perfect sense. Let me get this straight. Jay Barringer, one of Ed’s biggest supporters, has the secret recipe for the salmon we had at lunch.”
“Exactly.”
“And, how is it that Jay Barringer, one of Ed’s biggest supporters, happens to have this secret salmon recipe?”
“He got it from his mother.”
“Oh, well, that explains it, of course he got this secret recipe from his mother.”
“And, Jay also told me the name of the red wine I liked so much.”
“Wow, LizAnne, this Jay Barringer is really someone handy to have around. What else does he know…is he kind of like a super encyclopedia of knowledge? One more question, LizAnne. How is it that Jay Barringer, super encyclopedia of knowledge and Ed Christie’s biggest supporter, how is it, LizAnne, that Jay Barringer’s mother has this highly-coveted salmon recipe?”
“Maxine Barringer.”
“Who?”
“Maxine Barringer, owner of Maxine’s. Now, Richard, if you’re through being a smart…never mind. Richard, if you’re not doing anything Saturday evening, I would like to prepare this delicious salmon dish for your dinner, my treat, of course, for allowing me a little time off to help our poor neighbor, Chuck.”
“LizAnne, why do I suddenly feel two-feet tall?”
“You look fine, Richard.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Good morning, LizAnne Christie.” Richard sounded chipper.
“Well, good morning, Richard, and my, aren’t we in a good mood this morning,” I teased.
“Yes I am, I slept like a baby.” He winked at me.
“Is that all it takes?” I asked while setting the breakfast table.
“Is all that what takes?” He asked suspiciously.
“A good night’s sleep to put you in a good mood because, frankly, Richard, a lot of the time you’re not,” I responded matter-of-factly.
“I’m not what?” His tone was angry.
“In a good mood,” I reminded him.
“Thank you, LizAnne, for ruining my good mood.”
“We’re having those little sausages you love.” I said in a sing-song voice.
“Okay, I feel my good mood coming back. LizAnne, are we having company for breakfast?” He asked while examining the breakfast table.
“No, why?”
And, with sarcasm in his voice, “Oh, I don’t know, I guess the third plate and two extra glasses have me a little confused.”
“Oh, those are for Chuck.”
“Chuck?”
“Yes, Richard, Chuck. Even Chuck needs a healthy breakfast, a big glass of whole milk, and a big glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice.”
“LizAnne, please tell me you’re not going to start taking Chuck’s meals to him, we’re not running a Meals-On-Wheels organization.”
“For Heaven’s sake, Richard, I’m not driving next door, I’m walking.”
Richard looked up to the ceiling, his hands at his sides, fingers flinching. “Oh God, LizAnne!”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Hello, I’m LizAnne Christie, Mr. Castillo’s housekeeper,” I announced to the young lady sitting at the front desk in Richard’s office.
“Oh, yes, Mrs. Christie,” she acknowledged in a lovely and pleasant manner. “I’m Melody, Mr. Castillo’s receptionist.”
I was smiling, feeling a connection to this lovely young receptionist, ten years my junior. “Well of course you are, Melody, what a lovely name. Anyway, Melody, I was just on my way to run some errands when this overnight package came for Mr. Castillo so I though
t I would just drop it off on my way to do my errands. Would you be so kind as to give it to him.”
“Sure, Mrs. Christie, but I hear Mr. Castillo coming this way now.” She motioned toward the hallway where Richard and an attractive older woman strolled leisurely, arm-in-arm.
“Now, Elaine.” Richard explained to the older woman. “You’re going to love Maxine’s. They have a great salmon entrée and I know an excellent bottle of red wine to order.”
Total shock came over Richard’s face when he saw me. “LizAnne! What are you doing here?”
That was my salmon entrée, my bottle of wine he was talking about. I felt betrayed and that jealously thing was hitting me hard again but I was his housekeeper not his lover and I had no right to feel what I was feeling at that moment. I couldn’t resist, though. “Hey, Honey, oops, I mean Mr. Castillo. This just came for you at the house and I thought you might need it. I would have opened it for you but I didn’t have time…I was just on my way across town to that fish market to pick up the salmon for our special dinner Saturday night, and then I have to go clear to the other side of town to get that red wine you like so much. But, hey, I’m not complaining, big guy.” I poked Richard in the stomach with my elbow. “I’ll see you at home, handsome. Nice meeting you, Melody and…Elaine, was it? Never mind.” And with every little nerve left in me, I winked at Richard. “Bye, Honey, I mean Mr. Castillo.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“LizAnne, please let me come in so I can explain.” Richard was standing on Chuck’s front porch yelling through the closed door.
“No, Richard, this is not my house and Chuck says you can’t come in.”
“Then will you please come outside so we can talk?”
“No, Richard, I’m working for Chuck now so find someone else to talk to.”
“LizAnne, don’t be ridiculous, you still work for me.”
“No, I don’t work for you anymore, Richard. Chuck, please tell him.”
“She’s working for me now, Castillo, adios.”
“Dammit, LizAnne, what about Jessica and Tia, and have you even walked Ruby this afternoon?”
“Oh, Ruby! Chuck, I’ll be back as quick as I can.”
I shut Chuck’s door behind me and glared at Richard.
“Well, thank God you’ve come to your senses, LizAnne.”
“Richard, please get out of my way, I have to tend to Sweet Ruby.”
“And then you’ll tend to me?”
“I told you, Richard, I’m not working for you anymore, I can’t work for you, I don’t want to work for you, I’m working for Chuck now.”
“You’re upset because I took Elaine Billingsley out for lunch.”
“Who?”
“The woman I was with when you were at my office. Honey, it’s just a big misunderstanding.”
“Honey, Richard?” I moved passed Richard towards his house.
Richard tried blocking me while running backwards as I made my way across Chuck’s yard. “LizAnne, Elaine Billingsley is the owner and president of Hummingbird Enterprises, Inc., and I want her business, and if I have to wine and dine her, I will.” Richard said nervously, excitedly, and hurriedly, as I continued to make my way across the yard. “And, LizAnne, Elaine Billingsley’s husband is E. Frank Billingsley, owner and president of Cardinal, Inc., and if I can land both of these accounts, we’ll be set for life.”
“We, Richard?” Emphasizing ‘we’.
Continuing to sprint backwards. “LizAnne, do you know how much competition there is out there for CPA’s?”
I shouted, “No, spell it for me, please, Richard. Now, excuse me, I have to walk and feed Ruby and then I have to get back to Chuck’s.”
“LizAnne, you can’t be serious.” Richard flung his hands into the air. “I need you here, LizAnne, please, I need you here with me. I can’t go back to living alone, LizAnne, please.”
“I’m sure you can find another housekeeper, Richard, there are plenty out there.”
“LizAnne, I don’t want another housekeeper, I want you, dammit, I want you, nobody else. LizAnne, please, don’t make me say it.”
“Say what, Richard, never mind, Ruby and I’ll be back in about twenty minutes.”
“I’m going with you.”
“Richard, you’ll hold us up, Ruby likes to run.”
“See, LizAnne, you know my dog better than I do, you know my house better than I do, you know me better than I do.”
“See, Richard, you’re holding us up, I’m forced to hold Ruby back.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, LizAnne, I’m running in my suit and good shoes.”
“Well, Richard, if you had wanted to run with the big dogs, you should have changed your clothes and shoes, or stayed on the porch, or something like that, I forget how the saying goes. And, Richard, I’m not paying for your good shoes to be re-soled out of my household account money.”
“Your household account money? Does this mean you’re staying with me? LizAnne, just stop, please! Does this mean you’re staying with me?”
“Yes, now, go back to the house, change your clothes and Ruby and I’ll meet you at the corner of Vista View and Hill Top in exactly ten minutes. And, Richard, if you’re not there in exactly ten minutes, I’m going back to Chuck’s. Hey, Richard, wasn’t there a movie like that?”
Richard took off running back to the house and yelled over his shoulder. “I’ll be there, LizAnne!”
~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re late.” I said impatiently.
Trying to catch his breath. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t find…find my running shoes.”
I crossed my arms under my breasts and let out a heavy sigh. “You probably left them under Elaine Billingsley’s bed.”
Still trying to catch his breath. “Not…funny…not…funny…LizAnne.”
“I thought it was, hence my laughter. So, you’re going to run barefooted?”
“I ran all the way here barefooted, hence my pain.”
I smiled down at Richard’s bare feet and then looked back up at him. Sweetly I suggested. “Come on, Richard, let’s walk home.”
Richard smiled back, ran his hand through his hair, his cheeks still blushed from running or maybe from anticipation as he asked. “LizAnne, may I hold your hand while we walk?”
I held my hand out. “Yes, you may.” We held our gaze for a few seconds after he took my hand. “And, Richard, will you kiss me when we get home?”
Richard looked up at the sky, ran his hand through his hair again and looked back down at me. “Yes, I will.”
##########
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