CHAPTER XXI. AS A MAN MAY LOVE A WOMAN
Hedwig came to tea that afternoon. She came in softly, and defiantly,for she was doing a forbidden thing, but Prince Ferdinand William Ottohad put away the frame against such a contingency. He had, as a matterof fact, been putting cold cloths on Miss Braithwaite's forehead.
"I always do it," he informed Hedwig. "I like doing it. It gives mesomething to do. She likes them rather dry, so the water doesn't rundown her neck."
Hedwig made a short call on the governess, prostrate on the couch in hersitting-room. The informality of the family relationship had, during herlong service, been extended to include the Englishwoman, who in her turnfound nothing incongruous in the small and kindly services of the littlePrince. So Hedwig sat beside her for a moment, and turned the coldbandage over to freshen it.
Had Miss Braithwaite not been ill, Hedwig would have talked things overwith her then. There was no one else to whom she could go. Hilda refusedto consider the prospect of marriage as anything but pleasurable,and between her mother and Hedwig there had never been any closerelationship.
But Miss Braithwaite lay motionless, her face set in lines of suffering,and after a time Hedwig rose and tiptoed out of the room.
Prince Ferdinand William Otto was excited. Tea had already come, and onthe rare occasions when the governess was ill, it was his privilege topour the tea.
"Nikky is coming," he said rapidly, "and the three of us will have aparty. Please don't tell me how you like your tea, and see if I canremember."
"Very well, dear," Hedwig said gently, and went to the window.
Behind her Prince Ferdinand William Otto was in a bustle of preparation.Tea in the study was an informal function, served in the English manner,without servants to bother. The Crown Prince drew up a chair before thetea service, and put a cushion on it. He made a final excursion to MissBraithwaite and, returning, climbed on to his chair.
"Now, when Nikky comes, we are all ready," he observed.
Nikky entered almost immediately.
As a matter of fact, although he showed no trace of it, Nikky had beenhaving an extremely bad time since his return; the Chancellor, who mayor may not have known that his heart was breaking, had given him a verysevere scolding on the way back from Wedeling. It did Nikky good, too,for it roused him to his own defense, and made him forget, for a fewminutes anyhow, that life was over for him, and that the Chancellorcarried his death sentence in his old leather dispatch case.
After that, arriving in the capital, they had driven to the littleoffice in a back street, and there Nikky had roused himself again enoughto give a description of Peter Niburg, and to give the location of thehouse where he lived. But he slumped again after that, ate no dinner,and spent a longish time in the Place, staring up at Annunciata'swindows, where he had once seen Hedwig on the balcony.
But of course Hedwig had not learned of his return, and was sittinginside, exactly as despairing as he was, but obliged to converse withher mother in the absence of the Countess. The Archduchess insisted ontalking French, for practice, and they got into quite a wrangle overa verb. And as if to add to the general depression, Hilda had beenreminded of what anniversary it was, and was told to play hymns only.True, now and then, hearing her mother occupied, she played them indotted time, which was a bit more cheerful.
Then, late in the evening, Nikky was summoned to the King's bedroom, andcame out pale, with his shoulders very square. He had received a realwigging this time, and even contemplated throwing himself in the river.Only he could swim so damnably well!
But he had the natural elasticity of youth, and a sort of persistentbelief in his own luck, rather like the Chancellor's confidence in sevenas a number--a confidence, by the way, which the Countess could easilyhave shaken. So he had wakened the next morning rather cheerful thanotherwise, and over a breakfast of broiled ham had refused to look aheadfarther than the day.
That afternoon, in the study, Nikky hesitated when he saw Hedwig. Thenhe came and bent low over her hand. And Hedwig, because every instinctyearned to touch his shining, bent head, spoke to him very calmly, wasrather distant, a little cold.
"You have been away, I think?" she said.
"For a day or two, Highness."
The Crown Prince put a small napkin around the handle of the silverteapot. He knew from experience that it was very hot. His face was quitescrewed up with exertion.
"And to-day," said Nikky reproachfully, "to-day you did not ride."
"I did not feel like riding," Hedwig responded listlessly. "I am tired.I think I am always tired."
"Lemon and two lumps," muttered the Crown Prince. "That's Nikky's,Hedwig. Give it to him, please."
Nikky went a trifle pale as their fingers touched. But he tasted histea, and pronounced it excellent.
Prince Ferdinand William Otto chattered excitedly. He told of the dog,dilating on its cleverness, but passing politely over the manner of itsreturn. Now and then Hedwig glanced at Nikky, when he was not looking,and always, when they dared, the young soldier's eyes were on her.
"She will take some tea without sugar," announced the Crown Prince.
While he poured it, Hedwig was thinking. Was it possible that Nikky,of every one, should have been chosen to carry to Karl the marriagearrangements? What an irony! What a jest! It was true there was a changein him. He looked subdued, almost sad.
"To Karnia?" she asked, when Prince Ferdinand William Otto had againleft the room. "Officially?"
"Not--exactly."
"Where, in Karnia?"
"I ended," Nikky confessed, "at Wedeling."
Hedwig gazed at him, her elbows propped on the tea-table. "Then," shesaid, "I think you know."
"I know, Highness."
"And you have nothing to say?"
Nikky looked at her with desperate eyes. "What can I say, Highness? Onlythat--it is very terrible to me--that I--" He rose abruptly and stoodlooking down at her.
"That you--" said Hedwig softly.
"Highness," Nikky began huskily, "you know what I would say. And that Icannot. To take advantage of Otto's fancy for me, a child's liking, toviolate the confidence of those who placed me here--I am doing that,every moment."
"What about me?" Hedwig asked. "Do I count for nothing? Does it notmatter at all how I feel, whether I am happy or wretched? Isn't that asimportant as honor?"
Nikky flung out his hands. "You know," he said rapidly. "What can I tellyou that you do not know a thousand times? I love you. Not as a subjectmay adore his princess, but as a man loves a woman."
"I too!" said Hedwig. And held out her hands.
But he did not take them. Almost it was as though he would protect herfrom herself. But he closed his eyes for a moment, that he might not seethat appealing gesture. "I, who love you more than life, who would, Godhelp me, forfeit eternity for you--I dare not take you in my arms."
Hedwig's arms fell. She drew herself up. "Love!" she said. "I do notcall that love."
"It is greater love than you know," said poor Nikky. But all his couragedied a moment later, and his resolution with it, for without warningHedwig dropped her head on her hands and, crouching forlornly, fell tosobbing.
"I counted on you," she said wildly. "And you are like the others. Noone cares how wretched I am. I wish I might die."
Then indeed Nikky was lost. In an instant he was on his knees besideher, his arms close about her, his head bowed against her breast. AndHedwig relaxed to his embrace. When at last he turned and looked up ather, it was Hedwig who bent and kissed him.
"At least," she whispered, "we have had this, We can always remember,whatever comes, that we have had this."
But Nikky was of very human stuff, and not the sort that may live bymemories. He was very haggard when he rose to his feet--haggard, and hismouth was doggedly set. "I will never give you up, now," he said.
Brave words, of course. But as he said them he realized their futility.The eyes he turned on her were, as he claimed her, without hope. Forthere was
no escape. He had given his word to stay near the CrownPrince, always to watch him, to guard him with his life, if necessary.And he had promised, at least, not to block the plans for the newalliance.
Hedwig, with shining eyes, was already planning.
"We will go away, Nikky," she said. "And it, must be soon, becauseotherwise--"
Nikky dared not touch her again, knowing what he had to say. "Dearest,"he said, bending toward her, "that is what we cannot do."
"No?" She looked up, puzzled, but still confident dent. "And why,cowardly one?"
"Because I have given my word to remain with the Crown Prince." Then,seeing that she still did not comprehend, he explained, swiftly. Afterall, she had a right to know, and he was desperately anxious that sheshould understand. He stood, as many a man has stood before, betweenlove and loyalty to his king, and he was a soldier. He had no choice.
It was terrible to him to see the light die out of her eyes. But even ashe told her of the dangers that compassed the child and possibly othersof the family, he saw that they touched her remotely, if at all. Whatshe saw, and what he saw, through her eyes, was not riot and anarchy, athreatened throne, death itself. She saw only a vista of dreadful years,herself their victim. She saw her mother's bitter past. She sawthe austere face of her grandmother, hiding behind that mask herdisappointments.
But all she said, when Nikky finished, was: "I might have known it. Ofcourse they would get me, as they did the others." But a moment latershe rose and threw out her arms. "How skillful they are! They knew aboutit. It is all a part of the plot. I do not believe there is danger. Allmy life I have heard them talk. That is all they do--talk and plan andplot, and do things in secret. They made you promise never to desertOtto, so that their arrangements need not be interfered with. Oh, I knowthem, better than you do. They are all cruel. It is the blood."
What Nikky would have said to this was lost by the return of PrinceFerdinand William Otto. He came in, carrying the empty cup carefully."She took it all," he said, "and she feels much better. I hope youdidn't eat all the bread and butter."
Reassured as to this by a glance, he climbed to his chair. "We're allvery happy, aren't we?" he observed. "It's quite a party. When I grow upI shall ask you both to tea every day."
That evening the Princess Hedwig went unannounced to her grandfather'sapartment, and demanded to be allowed to enter.
A gentleman-in-waiting bowed deeply, but stood before the door. "YourHighness must pardon my reminding Your Highness," he said firmly, "thatno one may enter His Majesty's presence without permission."
"Then go in," said Hedwig, in a white rage, "and get the permission."
The gentleman-in-waiting went in, very deliberately, because his dignitywas outraged. The moment he had gone, however, Hedwig flung the dooropen, and followed, standing, a figure of tragic defiance, inside theheavy curtains of the King's bedroom.
"There is no use saying you won't see me, grandfather. For here I am."
They eyed each other, the one, it must be told, a trifle uneasily, theother desperately. Then into the King's eyes came a flash of admiration,and just a gleam of amusement.
"So I perceive," he said. "Come here, Hedwig."
The gentleman-in-waiting bowed himself out. His hands, in their tidywhite gloves, would have liked to box Hedwig's ears. He was very upset.If this sort of thing went on, why not a republic at once and be donewith it?
A Sister of Charity was standing by the King's bed. She had cared forhim through many illnesses. In the intervals she retired to her cloisterand read holy books and sewed for the poor. Even now, in her littlechamber off the bedroom, where bottles sat in neat rows, covered withfresh towels, there lay a small gray flannel petticoat to warm the legsof one of the poor.
The sister went out, her black habit dragging, but she did not sew. Shewas reading a book on the miracles accomplished by pilgrimages to theshrine of Our Lady of the Angels, in the mountains. Could the old Kingbut go there, she felt, he would be cured. Or failing that, if thereshould go for him some emissary, pure in heart and of high purpose, itmight avail. Over this little book she prayed for courage to make thesuggestion. Had she thought of it sooner, she would have spoken toFather Gregory. But the old priest had gone back to his people, to hisboys' school, to his thousand duties in the hills.
Sometime later she heard bitter crying in the royal bedchamber, and theKing's tones, soothing now and very sad.
"There is a higher duty than happiness," he said. "There are greaterthings than love. And one day you will know this."
When she went in Hedwig had gone, and the old King, lying in his bed,was looking at the portrait a his dead son.