CHAPTER 16
JUNEAU SNIFFLED, WIPING HER eyes as she talked on the phone.
“I just don’t even want to be here anymore,” she sobbed. “It was bad enough when Dad was here, and he was having problems, but now he’s not, and the house is so empty. I can’t believe that Mom kicked him out. When he can’t even take care of himself.”
“Maybe you should move out,” Theo suggested calmingly. “We could find a place, the two of us. You don’t have to move there. You’re old enough that there isn’t much they could do about it.”
“No… I’d like to. I’d like to just get out of here, and be on my own, but I can’t leave the kids.”
“You’re not their mom. It’s not your responsibility.”
“But it is,” Juneau insisted. "I have to help out with them. With Dad not home anymore, I’m the only one who is there while Mom is working. Crispin is too young to be left with Meggie.”
“They can get a babysitter, June.”
Juneau sniffled again, trying to swallow her sobs and talk clearly.
“A babysitter wouldn’t understand,” she insisted. “They don’t know anything about what it’s like with Dad. And Crispin’s seizures…”
“What would they do if you weren’t there?” Theo said reasonably. "They’d find someone who was suitable, wouldn’t they? You’re not the mom, Juneau. You don’t have to be there. You’re losing your whole life, having to take care of everyone else. You shouldn’t have to be tied down like that when you’re so young. They’re not your kids.”
“I know,” Juneau said miserably. "But I can’t abandon them. I know how they feel, and if I left… after Dad left… it just wouldn’t be fair to them, Theo.”
“Well… think about it,” he said. "You don’t have to make a decision right now. But think about it, and about what you’re giving up. You deserve to have a life. A nice life. You deserve it, Juneau.”
Mrs. Phillips didn’t notice Meggie at first. She was on a mission to take care of some quick photocopying and lesson prep between classes, and was focused on that. Initially, she didn’t spot the little girl wandering down the hall sniffling, stopping in doorways of classrooms and then wandering on again. But after a few moments, the sobs registered on her consciousness, and she looked more closely to see who it was and what was going on.
“What’s the matter, Meggie?” she questioned kindly, coming up beside the little girl. "Did you forget where your class was?”
Meggie shook her head.
“I want Daddy,” she gasped, between sobs.
“Oh, I don’t think your daddy’s working here today. Let’s get you back to your class, okay?”
“No. Where’s Crispin?”
“He’ll be in his class, like you should be in yours. You can see him at lunch or after school, okay? Right now it’s time to go to class.”
“I want Daddy and Crispin!” Meggie sobbed loudly, tears pouring down her face in earnest.
Mrs. Phillips was helpless, impotent. She made a motion toward Meggie to wipe away the tears, but she didn’t have any tissue and didn’t have a clue what to do about all of the leakage from Meggie’s nose and eyes.
“Here, it’s okay,” she comforted, wondering what Meggie was so upset about. She wasn’t usually one that caused any sort of scene. “Crispin is in his class. Everything is okay. You can see him later.”
“I want Crispin!” Meggie wailed.
Mrs. Phillips stood there uncertainly. She wanted to be fair, and to help Meggie out, but interrupting a class and pulling Crispin out for no reason didn’t seem right either.
“Come with me,” she said. “We’ll take you to the office and get it sorted out, all right?”
Meggie shook her head, but she followed Mrs. Phillips back to the office and stood there weeping loudly.
“What’s going on?” questioned Mrs. Wickers, the executive assistant.
“Meggie VanRam. I am not sure what’s upset her, but she wants her brother.”
“Let me see where his class is,” Mrs. Wickers said immediately.
“Well, I don’t know if-”
There was no point. Mrs. Wickers had already turned away and was tapping the name into her computer. She looked at the schedule.
“They should be in their homeroom right now, Mrs. Wilson’s classroom. I’ll have her send him down.”
Again, Mrs. Phillips stood there with her mouth open, trying to voice her argument, but ended up saying nothing. She just stood there while Mrs. Wickers went ahead and phoned the teacher to have her send Crispin to the office. A few minutes later, Crispin walked into the office, looking around anxiously, wondering if he was in trouble. Meggie saw him and ran into his arms, holding onto him and sobbing into his shoulder.
“Hey,” Crispin said softly, "it’s okay, Megs. It’s okay. Settle down.”
Crispin led her to a couple of chairs and sat down with her, trying to soothe her tears and calm her down. He didn’t ask what was wrong. He kind of felt like crying himself. All the time, in fact. So he knew that all he could do was hold Meggie and try to calm her down with hugs and platitudes. Crispin couldn’t change anything. He couldn’t make Abe well or bring him back. He couldn’t change the way that anything was right now. He could just hold Meggie and rub her back and try to make her feel like he, at least, loved her and was there for her, and was a stable part of her life.
“It’ll all be okay,” he told Meggie. “I know. I’m sad too”
Mrs. Phillips and Mrs. Wickers just watched, while trying to appear not to be too interested or intrusive and pretending to go about their usual office work. Eventually Meggie’s tears started to slow down, and she laid in Crispin’s lap, sniffling convulsively now and then. Crispin rubbed her back, murmuring to her quietly.