***
For three months I spent some time nearly every day in the temple. It was paradise. I could read as much as I wanted without distractions, and there were more than enough books to last for a lifetime. I quickly picked up the organizational system, such as it was, and claimed nearly an entire bookshelf in the reading room for all the books I was reading.
If my mother suspected anything, she never let on. If anything, she seemed happy that I was getting out of the house. The only time the asked about it was when she expressed curiosity about the books I was bringing home. I fed her some line about a book exchange program, and she accepted it without further comment.
This lasted until the day one of the priests stopped by my table with a small slip of paper. Written on it was a summons to the office of the head of the Church. Not wanting to offend the man who was so graciously allowing me to read for free every day, I closed my book, stuffed the paper in a small pocket of my dress, and left the library in search of his office.
The man's name was Tellin - I knew him from reputation only. I'd never seen him in the library, and when I arrived in his office I understood why. Books lined his walls, and a stack sat on his desk as well. He looked up from another as I knocked on his open door, then smiled and set it down, marking his place.
"Come in, come in," he said, gesturing with his hand. "Loral, isn't it?"
I nodded.
"I've heard a lot about you. Sit down, please." He held a hand toward one of the two chairs that sat facing his desk. I sat carefully. I still had no idea why I was here.
"I hear you've spent quite some time in our libraries," Tellin continued.
My muscles tensed. "I thought it was free," I said. "No strings attached."
"Yes, yes, of course."
Relief flooded through me. At least they weren't going to make me pay for using their library. The tension still remained though, a ball in the pit of my stomach. My foot started tapping against the floor.
"You know, Loral, we're always on the lookout for new priests, and with the reading you've been doing, I don't think you'd have a problem with the tests. You'd probably rank quite highly, in fact."
My mouth may have dropped open. "You want me to join you?" My anxiousness grew, and I started to chew on my bottom lip. "Really?"
"You don't have to answer right now, but let me tell you about what life is like in the temple."
Tellin's voice faded to the background as my ball of tension grew. The longer he talked, the more my leg bounced. Finally, I couldn't wait any longer. Carefully and quietly, I pulled the small scrap of paper out of my pocket and held it in my lap. My eyes scanned the writing. It was only a couple of sentences, but by the end my shoulders had loosened and my leg was still. It wasn't much, but it would be enough.
It was then that I noticed Tellin had stopped talking.
"I'm sorry!" I said, stuffing the paper back in my pocket. "I-" I couldn't come up with a good reason for not paying attention. "I'm sorry."
"Did you ever read our holy book, Loral?"
I thought back to the book I had lost in the streets the day I had met Filmon. "No, I haven't gotten around to it." I tried a smile. "I guess I'm not cut out to be a priest."
Tellin did not smile back. "If you had, you would realize that we value purity of the mind. Any corruption of the mind is abhorred by the Church, because any such mind will not be raised to the holy place by Rist. Rather, the mind gets recycled and placed into a newborn body."
"Okay," I said. "Look, I'm not really interested in being a priest. Thanks, anyway."
Tellin stood abruptly in front of his desk and slammed his hands down on top of it, making me jump. "The worst type of corruption is the Madmen, Loral. For centuries, the Church has hunted them down and set their diseased minds free from their bodies."
"What-"
"We don't have the skills of the Quis. We cannot sense the corruption. So we've had to develop other ways of weeding out the Madmen." He leaned closer, and I could see the fervor in his eyes. "And we have become exceedingly good at it."
In a panic, I shot out of my chair and toward the door. I threw it open and quickly saw why Tellin hadn't tried to stop me. Five men stood outside the door, and with the blue circle on their headbands. Two of them grabbed me by the arms and lifted my feet off the ground.
"Take her to one of the clean rooms," Tellin said. "And deal with her. She's an Assistant, so be sure. Dispose of the body afterward."
I struggled. I screamed. I pleaded. Nothing had any effect on the men as they efficiently took me through the vast hall that took up much of the temple, and down a small set of stairs in the far corner. We passed other priests, but none so much as glanced at me.
After we went down the stairs and through a set of tunnels, we ended up at a room that appeared to be constructed entirely of marble. Not that I was really noticing much in my current state, but one of my shoes had fallen off in my struggles, and the highly polished floor was cool and smooth against my foot. It took a moment to realize why the floor was so polished.
It made it easier to clean up the blood.
One of the men moved in front of me and drew a long knife. Hands held my arms back and pushed my head forward, while the man in front of me held the knife point under my chin, tilting my head back.
"She's a good looking one, isn't she?" he said with a leer.
"Ugh," came another voice from behind. "She's a Madman. It'd be like going at it with a sack of rancid potatoes."
A small part of me took offense at that.
"Fine, let's just get it over with then," the one with the knife said, moving the blade to one side of my neck.
"I hate this part. Tell me when it's over," the other voice said.
I wasn't going to get a better invitation than that. In an instant, I opened my mind to the Madness and let the power flow through my mind. Concentrating, I fed a hook of the power into the hand holding the knife and pulled.
To the man, it would have felt like his whole hand went numb. As the knife fell, I pulled his strength into me, leaned back into the men holding my arms, and used my extra strength to push them backwards far enough to bring a leg up and into the stomach of the man. Pulling another burst of strength, I pushed off of him, cracking his head against the marble wall and knocking the others off balance. We all crashed to the floor.
One arm was freed by the impact. I twisted and pulled the other arm free, leeching strength from the priest holding it. My hands were free, but the three men blocking the door were now rising. Grimacing, I focused on pulling the strength out of their legs and into my own. I'd need it if I was going to run out of the temple.
One of the men wobbled on his weakened legs, but none of them went down. I gritted my teeth and pulled harder. I swear I could almost feel my mind tearing at the strain. I pulled harder. I had to get out. Had to...
The shock of something slipping between my ribs severed my connection with the Madness. The strength I had drawn flowed out of me like a waterfall. I tried to take a breath, but my lungs wouldn't work properly. Pain flared in my side as my legs collapsed and the knife slid out. Coughing, I looked up at the man holding a bloody knife in his left hand. Blood matted his hair, and he glared down at me.
"Bitch," he said.
I tried to link my mind back with the Madness, but the pain made it hard to concentrate. After a few tries, I finally managed to get it back. Not that there was much I could do. After a moment's consideration, I did the only thing I could think of.
I drained all of my remaining strength, and my body started to shut down. My breathing slowed to an imperceptible amount. My heart beat at a fraction of its normal rate. All nonessential processes stopped, but I hung on to that little bit of strength that kept me alive, if barely.
As my hearing faded, I heard one of the men speak. "Well, at least she's dead. Come on, bring her this way."