Inspecting the saddle and all its gadgetry, it didn’t look anything close to easy or seamless.
“Wait,” Jesse said, coming up behind me. “Don’t try to get up on Sunny unless I’m already in the saddle.”
Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have. I might as well have tried to climb Everest.
“So this is Sunny?”
“This is Sunny boy,” Jesse answered, patting the giant horse’s muscled neck.
Sunny was white with big, black patches scattered over him. His mane and tail were streaked black and white, and he had one blue eye and one brown. He was beautiful in a very . . . odd type of way.
Jesse stepped in front of Sunny and ran his palm down the horse’s face. “Hey, boy, this is Rowen. We’re going to go for a little ride and I want you to be a good boy. She’s special to me.” His eyes shifted to mine when he said the last part.
Special? Special? No one had called me special once in my entire life. At least not in the way Jesse had meant it.
Sunny’s big head flicked into the air a few times before Jesse came back toward me. In yet another seamless move, Jesse swung up on Sunny before I even noticed his foot was in the stirrup. He held his hand out and waited.
“Come on, Rowen. You’ll be fine. Besides, if he didn’t like you, you couldn’t be as close to him as you are now.” Jesse reached his hand toward me again.
I glanced over at the truck. The guys were already tossing around sandwiches and water bottles. A few of them looked as though they’d already finished their first ones. Lunch was served. Time to live a little.
I took Jesse’s hand, and his fingers wove through mine. “My life and limbs are in your hands, Cowboy,” I said.
Jesse chuckled. “Put your left foot in the stirrup.”
I inhaled and followed his instructions.
He chuckled louder. “Your other left.”
I was off to a great start. I did, contrary to appearances, know left from right. Dropping my right foot back down, I tried again.
“Okay, good. Now just step up, keep your weight in the stirrup, and swing your right leg up and over Sunny.”
“I’m sure it’s nowhere near as easy as you make it sound,” I said, gripping onto his hand like it was a life ring.
“It’s not,” he said. “It’s easier.”
I narrowed my eyes at him which only made his smile widen. I felt everyone’s eyes on me. I was sure I was quite the spectacle. After blowing out a breath, I tightened my hold on Jesse’s hand and got after it.
Jesse’s bicep flexed as he curled his arm up, and once I found myself magically on top of Sunny, I knew it had more to do with his effort than my own.
“You did it,” Jesse said, looking over his shoulder at me.
“Don’t sound so surprised,” I said as I shifted in the saddle. The thing was really only made for one backside, but I couldn’t exactly complain. The front of my body was pressed tight into the back of his. The apex of my legs was pressed into that perfect butt of his, and when Jesse shifted in the saddle, I suddenly became very aware of the spot below my belly button.
“You want to back out of this adventure?” he asked, sounding like even if I wanted to, he wouldn’t let me.
“I think it’s a little late for that,” I replied, feeling every eye on me. I hoped no one could hear the way my heart pounded, or noticed the pick up in my breathing. I’d never felt like such an open book before. Usually I controlled my emotions and the physical reactions accompanying them, but with Jesse, I could do neither. The way I felt about him wouldn’t allow me to hide it.
“Wrap your arms around me and hold on tight,” he said, grabbing one of my arms to wind around his torso. We hadn’t taken one step and I already loved horseback riding. “And don’t forget to enjoy the ride.”
I wound my other arm around Jesse’s middle and clasped my hands together. “If I had a dollar for every time a guy gave me that line . . .”
It took a moment for that to sink in since Jesse’s head wasn’t as sick and twisted as mine, but he shook his head and laughed when it did. “I will gladly take you for any and every kind of ride you’ll let me, Rowen.”
Before my stomach had a chance to bottom out, Jesse clucked his tongue, and Sunny lunged forward.
The ride was surprisingly smooth, and I could, literally, feel the wind breaking over my face. Jesse held the reins in one hand and covered mine where they were locked together around his stomach with the other.
Riding through a grassy green field at a breakneck pace while wrapped around Jesse Walker’s body on a warm summer afternoon was the closest I’d come to perfection. It was the closest by a long shot.
I didn’t do perfect. I didn’t believe in it and, up until right then, I hadn’t wanted it either.
My whole life was shifting, like I was experiencing my own personal earthquake. I felt the plates shifting and rearranging below the surface. I felt the fire and heat molding and shaping them. I felt change, whether I wanted it or not. It was happening, and I might as well embrace it.
So while my instinct was to push someone away if they tried getting too close, I rested my head on Jesse’s back and breathed in as much of him as I could. It was a powerful moment and over much too soon.
Jesse pulled back on the reins a few minutes later as we approached a fast-moving stream.
“Still back there?” Jesse’s voice was light, not a worry in the world.
“You feel that death grip around your body?” I loosened my hold just barely. We might have stopped moving, but I was still five feet from the ground on a horse.
“I’m feeling it,” he said. “I’m feeling a lot more than just a death grip around my body, though.” Jesse’s back did a little wiggle to prove his point. Hello, Jesse’s back, meet Rowen’s front.
“So much for all those sweet county boy manners I thought you had,” I said, pinching his side.
“It’s a tough act to keep up with you around.” He looked over his shoulder and winked. In yet another super cowboy move, Jesse swung his leg up and over Sunny’s neck before hopping off. “Are you planning on staying up there all day?”
“I’m thinking about it,” I said, taking in the landscape. Nature as far as the eye could see was growing on me. “Why? Do you have any other suggestions?”
Jesse’s eyes gleamed. “One or two.”
“In that case . . .” I planted my foot in the stirrup and swung my other leg around Sunny’s backside. By nothing short of a miracle, I managed to get off of that horse without falling on my duff.
“Impressive,” Jesse said with a nod as I dusted off my hands. “You must have an amazing teacher.”
I lifted a shoulder. “Maybe I’m just a really kick-ass student.”
“Maybe,” he said, coming toward me.
I didn’t step back the way I knew I should. I didn’t step forward the way I wanted to. I stayed where I was and waited for him.
“So, now that you’ve got me out here, wherever here is,” I said, waving at the nameless landscape, “what did you have planned?”
I’d barely finished my question before Jesse’s hand formed around the bend of my waist. With his other hand, he slid his straw hat off and lowered his face until it almost touched mine. Everything inside of me quickened. Jesse’s skin hadn’t touched mine yet, and my body was rushing like a runaway train.
His mouth was so close to mine, I felt his warm breath on my lips when he said, “This.” His lips covered mine for such a brief moment it was more of a tease than a kiss. “And this.” His mouth moved over mine long enough to be in the kissing category. “And this, too.” He separated from me just long enough to get those words out before his lips settled back over mine. That kiss wasn’t a tease; it wasn’t anything close to a tease. It was the kind of kiss a girl would forever measure against. It set the bar for all future kisses. That kiss made me want to do nothing but keep my mouth firmly planted on Jesse’s until the day I died.
The kiss made me moan wh
en his tongue gently touched mine. Even with our mouths combined, I felt Jesse’s smile move into position at my response. He was still smiling when we both came up for air.
“That good, huh?” he said, settling his hat back onto his head while I struggled to fill my lungs.
“That’s some gloat you’ve got going on, Jesse,” I said, circling my finger around his face. “And here I was under the impression you were humble.”
“When a woman moans while a man’s kissing her,”—he lifted an eyebrow—“that’s grounds for a full-on gloat if ever there were grounds.”
“Fine. Take it all in. Yes, your mad kissing skills made me moan. Soak it up and let’s move on.” I rolled my eyes.
“Oh, believe me, I’m soaking it up.”
I crossed my arms and waited a few seconds. “Done soaking?”
Jesse’s dumb smile kept shining until he tapped his wrist where a watch might have been. “And done.”
It was about time.
“What are we going to tell your parents?”
Jesse’s face ironed out. “Wow. You really know how to kill a guy’s soak.”
I waited.
“Are you talking about us?”
“No, I’m talking about me and Sunny.” I motioned toward the resting horse beside me while Jesse’s forehead lined. “Yes,” I said with exasperation. “Yes, I’m talking about us.”
He shrugged. “What do you want to tell them?”
“Nothing yet,” I said. “But we’ll have to tell them eventually. We’re sleeping together, after all.”
“That’s true. We are sleeping together,” Jesse said. “I’m not usually that kind of guy.”
“That’s not what your exes say,” I threw back.
His eyes rolled to the sky.
“No, really. In all seriousness, I like you, Jesse.” I narrowed my eyes as I concentrated on finding the right words. Expressing myself, truthfully, had never come easy. “I don’t want to feel like we’re going behind your family’s backs because I like them, too. But this is all so new to me. So totally different that I just want to take it slow until I figure it out.” I almost gave myself a pat on the back for that whole soul-bearing bit.
“Different?” Jesse tilted his head.
Why did he have to ask every darn question I didn’t want to answer?
I sucked in a deep breath. “You know . . . The whole saying nice things to me, buying me gifts, looking after me, asking me on official dates . . . that’s all very new to me.” I knew how pathetic that sounded—an eighteen-year-old girl who’d “dated” dozens of guys wasn’t used to hearing nice things or getting an occasional rose or something—but it was the truth. I wanted to try to be honest with Jesse. It was the only way, if there even was a way, that we would have a fighting chance. “It’s going to take some getting used to.”
“Is it something you want to get used to?” he asked, almost shyly.
“Yeah,” I said, grabbing his hand. “I think it is.”
“You look really nice, by the way,” he said, examining me with a proud smile.
“You think so?” I gave a quick turn. “This guy I know picked my outfit out.”
“He’s got great taste.” Jesse’s eyes wandered to mine again. “Great taste.”
I tapped my heels together Dorothy-style. “The boots are pretty fantastic, too. And I’m a girl who knows boots.”
“Yes, you do,” he said before grabbing Sunny’s reins and leading him toward the stream. I followed and enjoyed the break in the conversation.
“So, there’s this dance . . . thing.” Jesse cleared his throat. So much for a break in the conversation. “It’s next weekend, and I was thinking . . . Well, I wanted to ask you—”
“Jesse Walker,” I said, coming up beside him, “are you asking me to the prom?” I clasped my hands together and batted my lashes.
“From the way my palms are sweating,” Jesse wiped his hands off on his jeans, “you’d think I am.”
“Well, I’d love to go with you, but I’ve already got a date.”
His expression fell. “You do?”
“Yeah. Your ex-girlfriend,” I said, nudging him.
Relief flashed over his face before it was promptly replaced with concern.
“Don’t worry. I promise I’ll save you a dance. Or two.” I wondered if I’d just pulled a line from a classic movie or if people really said that kind of stuff. I didn’t know. I’d never been to a dance. The closest I’d ever made it to one was the parking lot of my high school. After that not-so-pleasurable experience, I wrote off all future dances. I didn’t want to go to all the trouble of getting dressed up when the only dance my date wanted was in the back seat of his car.
“Or three,” Jesse added. “Or all of them.”
“Greedy,” I muttered to Sunny who continued to drink from the stream so deeply you’d think he was trying to drain it.
“Not greedy, just hopelessly optimistic.”
“You know the definition of ‘hopelessly,’ right?” I lifted an eyebrow.
Jesse smiled into the stream and scratched the back of his head. “Well, then how ‘bout this? We have shared a bed now, like you said. I think that kind of exclusivity goes with dance partners as well.”
“Is it a waste of breath if I keep arguing with you?”
“Probably.”
I shouldered him. “We’d better get back,” I said, “before they miss us and the rumors start flying.”
Jesse chuckled. “The rumors were flying the moment you and I were out of earshot.” He grabbed my waist, and before the air had whooshed from my mouth, I was perched back on top of Sunny.
“Okay, Muscles,” I said, grabbing hold of the saddle horn, “next time you decide to toss me on top of a giant beast, could you give me a moment’s warning first?”
Just as quickly, Jesse’s body slid into position behind me. He could literally mount and dismount a horse in the blink of an eye. He really was a cowboy.
“Moment’s warning before putting you on top of a giant beast?” he repeated, bobbing his head beside mine. “Okay. Done.” When his arms came around me to grab hold of the reins, I realized I’d been wrong. Riding behind Jesse wasn’t as good as it got. Riding in front of him was. I was cocooned in his hold. Protected. Safe.
It didn’t hurt that his legs were basically wrapped around me either.
“I’d loved to stay out here all day and talk, or bicker, or . . .” the inflection in his voice filled in the blanks, “but I’ve still got another eight hours of work in front of me today.”
I threw a longing look at the sandy bank beside the stream. The bittersweet taste of what the day could have been . . .
“Yeah. And I’ve got about eight hours of egg collecting, porch sweeping, laundry washing, and meatloaf making in front of me.”
Jesse made some clicking sound with his mouth, squeezed his legs, and we were off. Sunny seemed to only have two speeds: fast and holy-shit-fast. “Mom’s keeping you busy?” Jesse had to holler a bit given the wind cutting over us from Sunny’s take-no-prisoners sprint.
“A squirrel in the fall is busy. I’m something else entirely,” I yelled back.
“Ranch life’s not exactly what you anticipated?” Jesse’s mouth moved just outside my ear. I knew he’d likely done it so we didn’t have to keep screaming back and forth, but like so many random exchanges between Jesse and me that were innocent on the surface, it felt oddly intimate. So intimate, my eyelids dropped and my mouth parted for a brief moment.
Then I realized Jesse was waiting for my response, and when I opened my eyes, he was watching me with a bit of amusement. That I didn’t flush fire-engine red or become a stuttering idiot was a testament to how much practice I’d had overcoming those kinds of awkward situations. The embarrassment on my end part, not the smokin’ hot cowboy staring at me with a melt-your-panties-right-off smile.
“No, it’s not what I expected,” I answered, twisting my head so I could return the mouth-just-outsid
e-the-ear favor. “It’s better.”
I couldn’t see Jesse’s expression from the way my head was turned, but I felt it without having to see it. I felt it in the way his arms tightened around me. I felt it in the way the side of his face pressed into the side of mine. I felt it in the physical, but I felt it in the something else, too. In the something deeper that was just below the surface. It was staggering. It was purposeful.
It was a first.
Yet another of the many I’d experienced with Jesse. And the guy’s hands and mouth hadn’t even wandered into the PG-13 territory yet. That was saying something.
A whole bunch of something.
When Sunny tore up over a gentle hill, the tree, Old Bessie, and the rest of the guys and their horses came into view. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be back to reality, but my emotions were more focused on those precious few minutes we’d escaped reality. I’d never been the glass-half-full girl, but I seemed in danger of becoming one.
Jesse pulled up on the reins when we were a couple hundred yards back, and Sunny slowed to a walk. Of course, it was a fast walk.
Neil stood in the bed of Old Bessie, closing the cooler back up, and gave us a wave when he saw us coming. No one else seemed all that interested in the two of us. Or else, like Jesse said about the whole rumors firing off the moment we left, they were just feigning disinterest.
Oh, well. Neil didn’t seem to care that his son and I had ridden off into the lunchtime sunset, showed up fifteen minutes later with silly smiles on our faces, and Jesse’s arms were cinched around me in such a way that wasn’t necessary to keep me steady in the saddle.
“Why is it you don’t look like a single person in your family?” I said lightly, taking in Neil. Other than the way they dressed, Jesse and he couldn’t have looked more different. “Surely there’s got to be a reason.”
I waited for him to reply with something that had to do with consuming mass quantities of Wheaties or DNA took a day off when Jesse was conceived, but he shrugged. “There’s a reason for everything, Rowen.”
A person wouldn’t have to be especially perceptive to catch the whole flood of meaning beneath Jesse’s words. “Why, thank you, Aristotle,” I teased. “And now I’ve seen it all. A cowboy philosopher.”