Read Lost In Thought Page 4


  I would then have to stand up

  Along with all the others

  He’s terrorized on the highway

  And politely correct them -

  That their perfect angel thought

  He was too fast and too furious

  In his dumb-ass mobile thinking

  He was cool like the movie men

  And their fast cars and hot babes

  But thankfully, now he’s dead

  I just have to pray that he didn’t

  Take anyone else with him

  June 15, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  I was very upset by this event, which almost killed me today. Three late-teen boys were going over 90mph and weaving through traffic on I-93 North. I was in the right lane and was coming up on a minivan that was in the middle lane. This little red Honda came zooming up behind the minivan and zipped in-between the minivan and cut in front of me. If I didn’t see them coming up so damn fast in my peripheral vision and jump on my brakes, they would have slammed into both me and the minivan. I laid on the horn and they all looked back at me and laughed. It’s so frustrating when people have such a flagrant disregard for other people’s lives.

  July

  Endangering Massachusetts

  Endangering Massachusetts

  For the sake of my writings

  Inspiration in the wrong place

  Ideas hitting at the wrong time

  Scrounging for a pen

  Writing on a napkin

  Trying to jot the mot

  While doing seventy five

  Trying to write it right

  While I drive the lie home

  July 7, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  The first two lines were in Line Ideas for almost two months. On my way back from hanging out with friends, I got an idea and I wrote it down on an empty donut box because it was the only paper I had handy. This is about getting that inspiration while in the wrong place.

  Who You Are

  If you have to compromise

  Then you’re not living your life

  You’re living someone else’s

  Don’t set aside your principles

  Or your beliefs and subvert

  Your personality to anyone

  Don’t let them take away

  Who you are

  Because they will, if given

  Even the slightest of a chance

  Try to make you another generic

  Faceless clone of a consumer

  Don’t you ever give in

  Don’t become one of them

  Do what you love the most

  Be true to yourself and

  Enjoy life to the fullest

  July 7, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  I Can’t Wait

  I wish I could be famous

  Then I’d be somebody

  Then I wouldn’t be lonely

  Anymore anymore anymore

  Then I’d be someone

  Instead of the nobody that I am

  It’d be great it’d be amazing

  To have so many friends

  To have someone

  To have everyone love me

  To have everyone say hi

  To be noticed when I walk

  To have people listen when I talk

  I can’t wait to be somebody

  = = = = =

  I wish I could be nobody

  Then I’d be somebody

  Then I wouldn’t be lonely

  Then I could find someone

  Who loves me for me

  Not for who I am

  Or what I’ve achieved

  Then I wouldn’t be lonely

  Anymore anymore anymore

  Then I’d be someone

  Because I’d be no one

  It’d be great it’d be amazing

  To have a few close friends

  To have someone who loves me

  To not be criticized all the time

  To not be surrounded by strangers

  Who claim to be friends

  Who want something from me

  To have my close friends

  Who have always been there

  And for once not to be scared

  I can’t wait to be nobody

  July 13, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  I have no idea what brought this one on. I was listening to “Mr. Jones” by the Counting Crows (a live acoustic version) and I opened Word and started writing. Now that I think about it, I guess I was lamenting about being lonely and how if I was famous, I wouldn’t be anymore. Then I realized how silly that was.

  Thick Air

  Mid-summer evening

  The humidity is so oppressive

  Submerging, steaming everyone

  Beyond endurance, beyond sense

  I get out of my air-conditioned car

  And my glasses fog up immediately

  When I step into the densely thick air

  I let out a wet gasp as the heat and

  The humidity dump on an drench me

  I make a break for the front door

  Fumble with the keys and go inside

  And shiver as the coolness shocks me

  The air conditioners are cranking hard

  Cool air never felt so good

  July 27, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  August

  Constant Glaring Imperfections

  Face to face with that guy

  I’ve known all my life

  I’m so critical of him

  I never have anything nice to say

  Why do I hate him so much

  Maybe it’s him mimicking me

  Or maybe it’s his hundreds of faults

  So plainly visible for all to see

  He needs to lose weight

  He needs a haircut

  He needs to color his hair

  He looks unhappy

  Yes I do

  The weight of a lifetime

  Of negative impressions

  Given off by people I know

  Absorbed into my conscious

  Radiating from the real me

  Onto the mirrored me

  Probably why I never smile

  When I’m standing staring

  Here at me looking at me

  I’m always happy with

  Everything everyone I know

  Except when I’m here

  Except when I see him

  In his persistent state of

  Constant glaring imperfections

  And I hate me for letting

  Him become like that

  So far from where I was

  So far from where I want to be

  August 2, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  Looked into the mirror tonight and this is what I saw.

  When Pigs Fly

  You two, starting life anew

  With your plans and your hopes

  But you were surrounded by those

  Who said they were “unattainable,”

  Some said it wouldn’t ever happen

  Some said it would “when pigs fly.”

  So, you rolled up your sleeves

  And got to work

  Building a life

  Building a house

  Together forever

  A lot of hard work

  Went into building both

  So they would be

  Strong enough to last

  Any storm that arises

  Strong enough to face

  Any of life’s surprises

  And be a place where

  Both of you can live

  In love and happiness

  In joyful wedded bliss

  In the home that you

  Built together

  Well here it is

  Living proof that pigs can fly

  You proved everyone wrong

  You proved it to yourselves
r />
  You can do anything

  August 12, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  Written as a house-warming present/wedding gift for my ex-mother-in-law and her fiancé. I couldn’t find any good wedding cards from an ex-son-in-law (or any for that matter). The copy of this poem I gave them had a background photo I took of the woods from their back porch.

  Electric Vacation

  Why is my cordless phone growling at me

  Nothing wrong with it as far as I can see

  Oh wait, why isn't my vcr blinking 12:00

  Oh shit, I think the power's out

  My mind racing, I start thinking

  Do I have supplies to keep me going?

  I cracked open a cold beer

  And rethought my initial fear

  Shrugging off the terror angle

  I kicked back and started reading

  And occasionally found myself thinking

  Wow, it's really hot

  And catching myself reaching

  To turn on the fan

  Silly stupid me for falling

  For my habits

  Instead of being smart and realizing

  Duh, there's no power

  After a while it got too dark to read

  And I looked out on the street below me

  And saw the almost unimaginable

  Of the calm excitement of a city

  In the middle of an electric vacation

  And for a night we were all free

  From our computers and our TVs

  Enjoying each other's company

  The silence was wonderfully overwhelming

  As it was happily lulling me to sleep...

  I awoke to a start

  With the sun in my face

  And all over my place

  Were the hungry appliances

  And other electrical things

  Just waking up from their

  Unaccustomed sleep

  Yelling at me

  Vying for my attention

  Wanting me to reset them

  Swimming in a storm of hassle

  I think back how nice and simple

  My electric vacation was

  And how I wish I could go back

  Just for one more day

  August 17, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  I wrote this one based on this… https://www.oddtodd.com/message146.html - “The Oh So Nice Blackout Of 2003” on OddTodd.com. The phrase “electric vacation” just struck me and I had to write about it. This is the third week in a row that I’ve been Monday’s Poet. Oh the link for it is… https://www.oddtodd.com/monday57.html

  Continual Constant

  The life that never changes

  The ones who live entrenched

  In the continual constant

  And are unwaveringly steadfast

  In their desire in their need to be

  Living the perfectly straight line

  Are the ones who are stuck on

  The road that others paved for them

  The road re-driven over and over again

  Never wanting to drive off that road

  Never thinking about what else may

  Be out there because they’re scared

  Of the unknown of it all

  Of the chance they might fall

  Off the road they’ve known

  Off the road always traveled

  In a way I feel sorry for them

  The ones who won’t deviate

  Or change their sameness

  Not even for something new

  And wonderfully amazing

  Because it’s different from the

  Laid-out organized orderly life

  They’ve known since whenever

  I used to kinda be like them

  Back when life seemd almost

  Perfectly predetermined for me

  But I’ve since broken free

  And I’m living life just for me

  August 23, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  The title of this has been in Line Ideas for more than half a year at least. I just ran with it tonight and got this. Kinda my commentary on those 100% straight-laced people who are determined to make sure their lives never change an ounce.

 

  Dead End On A One Way Street

  Dead end on a one-way street

  And we’re driving the wrong way

  We’re driving the wrong way yet again

  And you won’t listen to what I say

  The chance we’ll survive is getting thin

  But you’re oblivious to the oblivion

  That you’re speeding us into, aren’t you

  Never doubted your driving abilities

  Let me out so I can be the one who sees

  As the car we’re in and the lives inside

  Are totally wrecked right before my eyes

  I want to see it from every spectacular angle

  I want to live it from every vantage point

  I want to stand back and watch me fly

  Right though the windshield and die

  Be the one who’s bleeding

  Be the story that’s leading

  On the six o’clock news

  Adding to the media’s monopoly of fear

  Just because my friend was slow to steer

  No more 15 minutes of fame

  Now it’s compressed into one

  Since attention spans are gone

  And sound bytes are more fun

  August 23, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  The first three lines of this have been in Line Ideas for over a year. I finally got the whatever to finally write the rest of this from those lines. It started out as something much different than it ended up as. I like the concept, but it’s too rhymey.

  September

  Woodstove?

  Still somewhat summer

  When I noticed the

  Distinct smell on the air

  Puzzled, squinched,

  Pondered tilted faces,

  Thinking, trying to guess

  Burnt wood wafting

  Nice aroma, but wrong

  Very wrong for the season

  It takes us a minute

  To smell it

  To figure it out

  The aroma finally

  Clicks at the same time

  Meant as more of a question

  Than an exclamation

  As we both say in unison

  “Woodstove?”

  September 7, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  A few years ago I was walking with someone and we smelled this smell. It took a minute or two to figure it out and we both said it at the same time in the same questioning tone…, “Woodstove?” Last night I was at the Target in Salem, NH with my boss and we smelled this smell that seemed out of place. He thought it was pot at first, but I said, “Woodstove?” and I laughed out loud to myself. He thought I was weird.

  Quiet Oxidation

  Quiet oxidation

  Rusted undisturbed

  Not bothering anyone

  Nothing all that fun

  Slowly eating

  Metal sheeting

  Of that old building

  Slowly browning

  Making frowning

  Of those seeing

  The blight around

  But I find that

  Beauty abounds

  And want to draw it

  In its stark perfectness

  In the comparing

  And the contrasting

  Of the area and the rust

  Something that I must

  Capture and record

  Too bad I suck at art

  September 11, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  I saw the phrase, “rusted undisturbed,” today online and it inspired me to write this. I honestly think there’s a good amount of beauty in rusted buildings. When I l
ived in Chelsea, Massachusetts, every so often I’d take the long way back home to get to Route 16 West and while waiting at the light at the intersection of whatever street and Route 16, I’d sit and look at this abandon rusted green-painted metal building which I always wanted to come and draw it because it looked so neat. The light always changed before I’d come to the realization that I suck at drawing.

  33336

  33336

  Was what I saw

  When I stopped my car

  Shit, I missed it by three miles

  September 28, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  This happed last week I think. It has to be because I’m over 34,000 miles now. When I left a friend’s house last Sunday morning, I made sure to tell myself to keep an eye out so I could see the odometer reach 33,333 miles. I just think it’s really cool to see stuff like that…and I missed it by three lousy miles. Geez.

  October

  Moonlit Contrails

  Driving home kind of late

  On an early autumn night

  Mistingly damp out there

  With a sharp cold bite

  The type of night where

  Halloween would feel

  Creepily at home and right

  I steal a glance to my left

  And briefly see the moon

  Peeking out from the clouds

  After a few more miles

  I catch the bright from

  The corner of my eye

  Up there somewhere

  To my left in the sky

  A quick look up

  Off the road showed

  Most of a moon with

  The shooting arms

  Of several appendages

  Looked like a moon in action

  Tossing, throwing,

  Reaching, grabbing,

  Projecting something

  Eyes back on the road

  Thinking wondering

  About what I just saw

  Empty highway ahead

  So I take another chance

  And get a longer glance

  At the intriguing interesting sight

  Widening and fading

  Moonlit contrails

  Almost intersecting in the night

  Why didn’t I realize what it was

  Before I considered personification

  Of the rock hanging in the sky

  As I drove on towards home

  I tried not to look up to my left

  Sillily thinking that if I did

  I would see the long arm

  Of the moon looking reaching

  Not up like it was before

  But this time down

  Towards me

  For me

  October 5, 2003

  Manchester, New Hampshire

  I worked from 3-11pm tonight at my hotel as the manager on duty. On my way home, around 11:30pm, I looked up and saw the moon just starting to poke out from the clouds. I thought it was creepy considering that it was raining up until a little while ago and the air was still misty with dampness. The moon slowly broke through the clouds, which added more to the creepiness of the setting. A few minutes later, I looked up to see that it had cleared up enough around the moon so it was completely visible…and I saw the contrails around it, which, at first glance, looked like arms. It was like the moon was throwing something or reaching out. When I got home I wrote this.