Lost Love
Book 1 in the Cowboys and Angels series
Copyright © 2017 by Kelly Elliott
All rights reserved.
Visit my website at www.kellyelliottauthor.com
Cover photo and designer: Sara Eirew Photography
Editor: Cori McCarthy, Yellowbird Editing
Proofer: Amy Rose Capetta, Yellowbird Editing
Interior Designer: JT Formatting
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Epilogue
Sneak Peek of Love Profound
Playlist
Thank You
Other Books by Kelly Elliott
The rushing water of the Frio River wasn’t enough to drown out the sound of Paxton’s tears. They replayed in my head, and nothing would ever be able to erase them.
Lifting the beer to my lips, I took a long drink. My brother Cord sat next to me. He was the only one who knew the terrible secret that would haunt me forever.
“She hates me,” I mumbled.
“Right now she does. She won’t always.”
I finished the bottle and set it next to me. It was the night of my high school graduation and one of the worst days of my life.
“I left her. She told me she was pregnant, and I freaked out and left her. The only thing I could think of was how our lives would be ruined.”
“You came back, Steed.”
Letting out a gruff laugh, I shook my head before dragging my hands down my face.
“I came back too late. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes when she told me she lost the baby and I breathed out a sigh of relief. I’ve never seen her so gutted.” My head dropped, and I felt the tears build in my eyes. “She told me she never wanted to see me again.”
Peering up, I turned to my brother. “What do I do, Cord? I love her more than the air I breathe and she can’t stand the sight of me.”
He shook his head then shrugged. “Give her time. That’s all you can do.”
My heart told me to run after her. To pull her into my arms and show her how sorry I was. Beg her to forgive me.
If only I’d listened to my heart and not my head.
Ten years later
I pulled up to the gate and grinned. Ten years ago, I left Texas after graduation and made my way to Oregon. I hadn’t seen home since.
With a quick peek up, I passed under the driveway sign that led to my father’s cattle ranch.
“Is this it, Daddy?”
Glancing down to the beautiful blonde hair and blue-eyed girl in the front seat, I nodded. “This is it, pumpkin.”
Her smile grew bigger. “I can’t wait to see everyone! Do you think they’ll be excited to see me?”
My chest tightened. “Of course they will, Chloe. They’re family.”
Chloe frowned. “Mommy was never happy to see me.”
That’s because your mommy was a fucking bitch.
I’d met Kim, Chloe’s mother and the first woman I’d dated since Paxton, towards the end of my senior year of college.
“Mommy had problems. Loving herself was hard, pumpkin, so it made it even harder for her to love anyone else.”
Chloe nodded. Like she always did when I told her the same answer about her worthless mother.
When both of Kim’s parents died, she fell into a serious funk. The only way I knew how to pull her out of it was ask her to marry me. It was stupid. I was stupid. When I realized I had made a huge mistake, she begged me not to leave. The night I told her I wanted a divorce she told me she was pregnant. Nine months later Chloe arrived and Kim turned into a completely different person. Her thirst for my family’s money was the only thing that drove her to stay in the marriage. For some insane reason, she thought she could get her hands on my parents’ wealth through me. It took years of fighting, keeping visits with my family a secret.
Finally, I played off a lie that my parents had disowned me. Kim gave up and divorced me. I’d asked her for a divorce so many times her hate for me grew after each attempt, making my life, and unfortunately Chloe’s, miserable.
“Daddy, am I a bad girl if I don’t miss mommy?” Chloe asked, staring at her little feet.
I took her hand in mine.
“No, pumpkin. I don’t miss her either. I wish we could have come to Texas a long time ago, and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it happen sooner.”
She smiled. “We’re here now! And I know I’m gonna love it! It’s our new home.”
“It’s always been home.”
Home.
The one place I longed to be, but was also scared to death of. Memories of this place were dangerously strong, but Chloe and I needed family. She needed a sense of normal after five years of utter crazy. And I needed to right a wrong that was long overdue.
Paxton.
I wasn’t even sure she still lived in town. For all I knew she was married to Joe asshole Miller. I pushed the thought from my mind.
“Let’s go see Granddaddy and Grammy,” I said.
Chloe fist pumped. “Yes! I’m so excited. Can I ride a horse?
”
“Yes,” I replied.
“What about a cow?”
“If you want.”
Her eyes lit up as the gate swung open. “Really? I can ride a cow?”
Laughing, I nodded.
“Does Granddaddy have goats?”
“Yep.”
Chloe’s head dropped back in the seat. “I’m so happy, Daddy!”
I’d told Chloe stories about how I grew up on a cattle ranch with my six brothers and sisters. Each night when she went to bed, she’d ask for a story, especially if she was able to talk to my parents over Skype that evening. It had been hard keeping her from everyone. The memories of Paxton kept me from returning to Texas for the first four years after I left and then the nightmare called Kim was the next roadblock. But that was the past. I was looking to the future not only for me, but for Chloe.
“Is Texas like Oregon, Daddy?”
“No, baby. It’s a lot hotter and it doesn’t rain so much.”
She smiled. “More time to play outside! With my new goat!”
I chuckled. My father had told Chloe over Skype a few days back that he was going to buy her a pet goat. She had the name picked out already. Patches.
We drove down the drive, and Chloe took it all in. “Where’s the house?”
“Your grandparents own a lot of land, pumpkin. The house is pretty far back.”
With a nod, she turned and stared out the window. A little girl shriek came from her lips. “Cows! Daddy, look at all the cows!”
Even though I was queasy from the idea of being back home and the chance of running into Paxton, I was glad to see Chloe’s excitement. She was finally going to understand what normal was.
She gasped. “Is that our new house?”
I braked and stared at the house I’d grown up in. So many memories. All of them good. I couldn’t think of one bad memory I had growing up here on the ranch. Maybe Tripp putting that scorpion in my bed. Or Cord dropping the bale of hay on my head. I smiled. Yeah. That was what I wanted for my daughter. To grow up with family in the greatest place on earth.
My parents’ ranch.
The two-story sandstone house sat among live oak and pecan trees. Throw in a few magnolia trees my father had planted for my mother and it was the perfect setting. It wasn’t a small house by any means. Over ten thousand square feet.
“That’s the main house, pumpkin. We’re going to be living in the guesthouse.”
She studied me and I couldn’t help but be left breathless by the sight of my own daughter. Those bright blue eyes held so much hope in them. “How many houses do Granddaddy and Grammy have?” she asked, her blonde pony swinging as her head tilted in confusion.
Chuckling, I said, “One main house, two ranch hand houses, and two guest houses.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow.”
“Yeah, wow.”
“How many bedrooms does this house have?”
I laughed. “Ten.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “That’s a lot of places to play hide and seek.”
“It sure is, pumpkin.”
Chloe’s life was about to change drastically. We had lived in a nice house in Oregon, but it was nothing like this. It was more your typical middle class twenty-three hundred square foot house. I worked for an investment firm right out of college. The only good part of that job was working from home, which allowed me to care for Chloe since Kim was pretty much gone every single day. Sometimes for days at a time on what she called her “spa trips.”
I lightly pressed the gas and we made our way up to the front of the house. I parked and got out. Chloe jumped out of the car, unbuckling her dolls from the back seat.
“We’re at our new home! Look how beautiful it is!” Chloe said while showing her dolls the house.
My chest ached as I smiled. I’d heard her so many times telling her dolls how much she would always love them and be the best mommy. Unlike her own mother who hardly ever sat down and played with Chloe.
I shut the car door and took everything in. Nothing had changed in the ten years since I’d been gone. The house still had fresh flowers hanging from pots across the front porch. The four black rocking chairs still sat in what appeared to be the same spots. My stomach dropped as a memory hit me of Paxton sitting on my lap as we talked about our future.
Chloe pulled my hand. “Daddy, why do you look so sad?”
I squatted down and placed my hand on the side of her face. “I’m not sad, pumpkin.”
She shook her head. “Your eyes are sad.”
I let out a soft breath. This little girl had a window into my soul, always had. For as long as I could remember, when I was feeling down, she would tell me my eyes looked sad. Never could hide anything from this one. “I love you, Chloe Lynn. All I want is for us both to be happy.”
She smiled, then frowned, her little eyes growing wet with tears. “Mommy won’t be coming to live with us, will she?”
Swallowing hard, I fought to take a breath. This was my karma. The pain I had to suffer for the action I took ten years ago. I shook my head and pulled her in for a hug. “No, baby. Mommy is no longer a part of our lives, and I promise she will never hurt you. Never.”
Chloe patted my back, as if she was trying to console me at the same time. When she pulled away, her grin was back, along with the light in her eyes.
“Maybe we can find me a new mommy!”
My eyes widened. My daughter had longed for a mother to love her and I had tried my best to make up for the lack of love from Kim. It was beginning to hit me how much Chloe had longed for the connection I wasn’t able to give her. “Um… well… let’s not worry about that right now.”
She grinned and nodded. “Okay. We’ll wait a week.”
I was about to reply when two loud screams came from the front porch. Chloe turned and let out a little scream of her own.
Yep. My daughter is a Parker woman. They like to scream.
“Grammy! Aunt Meli!” She took off running and I was spared the new mommy ordeal—at least for a week.
My sister Amelia dropped to her knees and caught Chloe as she barreled into her.
My mother made a beeline straight to me. Her brown hair was pulled up, leaving me a clear view of her gray eyes, which danced with happiness. The bits of red that ran through her hair seemed to glow in the sun. “Steed, darling I’m so happy to have you home.”
Holding out my arms, I held my mother tightly. “It’s good to be home, Mom.”
“Your things came two days ago. I hope you don’t mind, but Amelia and I took to placing everything in the house. If you don’t like it, you and your brothers can change it up.”
“I’m sure it’s fine.”
She pinched her brows together. “Steed, I know the house is fully furnished and that’s why you didn’t have any furniture, but there’s no bedroom set for Chloe. Of course you’re more than welcome to keep the furniture that’s in the house, but I thought you might want something a little more kid friendly.”
I shook my head. “I want to start fresh. The fewer memories of Kim…the better. We stopped at Haverty’s Furniture on the way here and Chloe picked out a brand-new bedroom set. It will be delivered on Saturday.”
My mother smiled. “Oh, she’ll love that! I’m sorry you couldn’t bring your things.”
With a weak smile, I replied, “It’s not a big deal.”
Kim had never physically abused Chloe, but mentally she had done a number on both of us. Her constant screaming had grown worse as the years ticked by. But she also stayed away more, giving both Chloe and me a much-needed break. I was having a private detective follow Kim in the hopes of catching her in an affair.
When she showed up to my job one day with divorce papers and legal paperwork signing all parental rights over to me, I wanted to jump for joy. Once she figured she wasn’t getting a dime of money from my family, she realized she had better things to do with her life. Chloe and I weren’t part of the plan and that was fine by me. I’
d wasted over six years of my life on a relationship that had started out as a desperate attempt to fuck Paxton out of my mind. Look where that shit got me.
My mother shook her head as we walked toward the front door where Amelia and Chloe had disappeared. “I still don’t understand how a mother could walk away from her child.”
“It was easy. She never wanted a daughter. Chloe was a bargaining tool to Kim, not a child.”
We entered the large foyer, my heart about to burst because my father was holding up Chloe as she laughed. My whole family had flown out to Oregon right after Chloe was born, unfortunately giving Kim ideas about my family’s money. My parents had come to visit twice a year the first few years of Chloe’s life and never questioned why I couldn’t bring Chloe to Texas. Then when Kim went full force bat-shit crazy, I had to get creative with my parents’ trips. We had gone on a few weekend camping trips where my folks had met up with us. Chloe had been old enough to know it had to be kept a secret from Kim. I hated making Chloe keep such a secret, but it was necessary if I wanted to keep her in my parents’ life and get us away from Kim. Other than the few visits, only Skype calls kept Chloe involved in their world. She had loved calling my brothers and sisters and was so excited to finally meet them all.
“The princess is finally home!” my father said, beaming.
I’d never seen Chloe look so happy. “Where are all my uncles?”
Everyone laughed.
My father spun his granddaughter around and set her on the large table that stood in the middle of the foyer. “Tonight, princess. You’ll see them all tonight at dinner.”
It was my mother’s turn to shower Chloe with attention. “Oh, we are going to have so much fun! I think you should have your own area of the garden, Chloe.”
With a gasp, Chloe nodded in excitement then did some sort of happy dance while my parents took it all in. My little sister Amelia gave me a sweet smile. I stood back and took her in. Pictures of her over the years didn’t do her beauty justice.
“Holy shit. You’re a grown woman.”
She blushed. “Well, I was only twelve when you left.”
My heart dropped. “I’m sorry, Meli. I’m sorry I left you.”