The thought was so jarring she almost toppled over from it. Was such a thing possible? They were in an endless battle. This was their role. Other Outsiders lived and died, they didn't have to be the chosen eighteen, but she and the others always had another turn on the ride—managing the true danger.
Everything eventually came to an end.
She made herself breathe. Getting worked up over something she couldn't possibly know did no one any good. She wasn't hearing the ancestors, simply her own worries in her own mind.
"What's the matter?" She should have known Zane would pick up her distress
"I'm letting my mind travel roads better left alone. Don't worry. Get your shit together. I'm good."
"And look at that. Several days with me and you're suddenly cursing. I'm a bad influence on you."
She shook her head and walked into Alexa's room. The other woman sat on the side of the bed, rocking back and forth. Raquel steeled her spine before she spoke. The ancestors had told her to help Alexa. That must mean it was something she could do. If they'd wanted the woman coddled, they'd have picked someone else to do it.
Charma could coo at her and stroke her hair. Raquel
had other plans for Alexa.
"That's enough." She stepped into the room. "Lesson number one, if you want to be treated as a normal member of society, you're going to have to at least pretend that you are. Act crazy and they'll treat you that way. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. That rocking thing, the way you're giving in to every dark impulse that demon is giving to you, you're choosing to go along with it. Time to knock it off."
Alexa whirled around. "I thought you were my
friend."
"I am." She rounded the bed to stand right in front of her Outsider sister. "The only one you have in the world right now."
The other woman spoke through clenched teeth. "My friend would understand I'm suffering. I don't believe a demon did this to me. I think you guys did. For some sick torture."
"I can see how, from your perspective, that would be true. But I've got news for you, sister. It's time for you to take on another world view. Come on. Up. We're going to show you some truth. The stuff you should have known from birth."
Raquel hoped she was right because everything rode on getting Alexa healthy. They could win small battle after small battle but they'd never take on the demon and win without Alexa.
And Raquel wasn't losing Zane. Not for anything in the universe.
Alexa walked next to her down the hallway with her eyes lowered as she stared at the floor. It was everything Raquel could do to not demand she raise her head, square her shoulders, and act like the badass Outsider woman she'd been born to be.
There had been times in past lives when oceans had parted because Alexa had told them to. Zane would never be having his trouble with his power if Alexa was solid. She kept everyone balanced, she made them stronger and controlled.
She was the key.
"Isabelle." Raquel caught her attention and the other woman looked up from where she'd been staring at a painting on the wall. Kal's soul mate turned around to regard them.
She looked between Raquel and Alexa a couple of times before she spoke. "Everything okay?"
"It will be." Raquel had to believe that because she'd viewed the alternative and it was too awful to bear. "We need to take a little trip and we need you to take us there."
"Generally speaking, Gabe or Drew does the travel arrangements around here. The popping in and out."
"Yes." Raquel touched Isabelle's arm. They didn't know each other yet in this lifetime but she'd seen the future and the woman there had said they were friends. Sometimes, in certain lifetimes, they were. They were always family. "What we need is time travel. I need Alexa to see the things she should have already. If the memories won't come to all of you then we're going to the memories. We'll start with firsthand viewing." She turned to Alexa as she spoke the last words. "You'll have to believe what you see. Then we'll go from there."
"I…"
Isabelle smartly cut off whatever Alexa would have said. "That's an excellent idea. And it'll give me something to do. My abilities can actually come in handy for once. It's been a long time since I did anything even remotely helpful to the cause. The guys are all worked up over something with Zane. They forget this isn't their fight alone. We're not wilting flowers. We don't hide in corners." Isabelle extended her hand and took Alexa's. The way Alexa's eyes widened showed how surprised she was by the touch. Raquel joined her fingers with theirs.
"Girl power?" Raquel laughed. "Like we're in some kind of movie."
Isabelle's eyebrows shot up. "Movie? Do you know how long it's been since I saw a movie? I'd almost forgotten there were movies. And television. And Chinese takeout food."
"And shopping," Alexa added, shaking her head. "Once upon a time, I used to go shopping. In thrift stores. You could really find the best gems."
The world swayed and Raquel had no time to focus on the fact that Alexa had just participated in their conversation like it was the most natural thing in the world for her to do.
For a second the world blacked out to nothingness and then…Raquel gasped, nearly stumbling forward as color reasserted itself around her. Only she wasn't standing where she'd been before. Alexa grabbed her arm and held on like her life depended on it.
Isabelle took a deep breath. "And, voila, the past."
"Wow." Raquel put her arm around Alexa. The other woman was so fragile. Somehow, Raquel had to remember that when she pushed her through this. It was possible for Alexa to fall apart and not be able to be put back together. They straddled that line. "Much more intense than I realized."
"It's like scratching an itch for me now." Isabelle nodded and looked around. "You should be able to move about a bit. Probably can't leave the room but it's better than the bubble I used to be trapped in whenever I did this. As I get stronger at this, we get a little more stretch to it. You can walk around here. They won't be able to hear you or see you. Abraxas sometimes can but he won't say anything if we're in a group."
They? Raquel hadn't even looked where they landed. She turned around. Her assessment that they were somewhere else was downright wrong. They were still in the caves. Only the people around them had totally changed.
"Who are these people?" Alexa's voice shook and Raquel took a step away from her toward a group of six people who stood around, staring down at a book with a crimson cover.
Isabelle finally answered after a moment. "As far as we can tell, and we're not all that adept at it yet, that man in the middle is Abraxas Moore. He was at one time the leader—well, the secondary leader, the voice, if you will— of the Outsiders when our parents, in this lifetime, were in charge. They make a huge mess of things and ultimately we were sent here unprepared, not ready to fight this time. Abraxas does his best but he screws up a lot. Very powerful man. And your father, Alexa."
The other woman sucked in her breath loudly. That
was pretty huge news Isabelle had just dumped on Alexa.
"And, Raquel, we're pretty sure the woman with the black hair and the intense eyes, next to him is…"
"My mom."
She'd have to be an idiot not to see the family resemblance. Words failed her and she simply stared at the scene in front of her for a minute. What were they doing? No one spoke as they read whatever knowledge the book showed them. They'd had so many parents in so many lives. The number didn't matter. She'd loved whoever her mother and father were in all lifetimes. They mattered, they shaped things.
"This is where they start to make a huge mistake. The one that will mean we all get separated. The one that let Sebastian screw things up for you, Alexa. This is the moment when they first start to believe they can do the impossible. They can't."
What would this lifetime have been like if they hadn't? Raquel wiped at her face, surprised to find she cried.
They were just reading a book. It looked so…serene. The sins of her
parents…they were all still paying. The question was how big a price.
Chapter Six
Zane stumbled forward. Something was wrong…Raquel was gone. He sucked in his breath. What could have happened? She had been in his mind a second earlier. What could have—
Kal put his hand on his arm. "It's okay. She's with Isabelle. She let me know right before they zapped off to another time. It hurts, I know, like an absence, but they'll be back. They're relatively safe travelling around. Except for Abraxas, no one can even see or hear them."
She had gone travelling through time without discussing it with him first? He wanted to roar. Rage travelled up his spine. How was he to keep her safe if she wouldn't even—
Kal shook his head. "New mating sucks. Do yourself a favor and don't even travel down the path in your mind where I know you're going. Raquel lived a long time in a brutal world without you telling her what to do. She'll be fine. You'll make it through this and stop being a caveman soon enough. Try not to piss her off in the meantime."
"I…" Zane closed his mouth.
Hell, Kal was right. Zane didn't have the right to start hollering and demanding he be in charge of Raquel. It wasn't his job to let her do things or not. She wasn't a child. She was a strong, fire-wielding woman. He needed to shut the hell up.
"Yeah." Kal laughed. "All of our Outsider instincts get in the way for a while. They're from a different time, maybe a different dimension. All I know is the women don't like it and, generally speaking, the need to control gets in the way."
"Okay." Zane shook his head. He could obsess or he could get to fixing the problem. "We need to figure out how I can control myself. I don't want to think something and have you all hop to. It might be useful to be able to get some of the bad guys to respond to my every whim but not past that."
Leonardo took a step toward him. "I can help."
"Yeah? How? You're a power enhancer. I want less of this, not more."
Their leader raised a dark eyebrow. "I give you more power. That means you can control what you have. I can even take it from you if that's what you want. Or I can simply help you dampen it. This is what I do. The fates saw fit to make me responsible for all of you, so let me do my job."
"Bitter much?" Zane put out his hand and Leonardo took it.
"You have no idea." Leonardo shook his head. "Would you believe there was a time when I was the optimist of this group? Right, Kal? When we were kids you were the one who saw everything half empty and I thought we'd all be okay."
Kal shook his head. "And then you killed Veli to save me and you've been a total Debbie Downer ever since."
Zane didn't get the reference but he got the gist of it. Leonardo wasn't who he used to be. Maybe that was good, maybe it wasn't, but if Leonardo was to lead them he needed an attitude adjustment.
A jolt of power travelled through Zane's body stopping any thoughts he had about anything other than breathing. That was the thing about pain—it shut everything else out. He'd gone through this too many times to count but, fuck, Leonardo could have warned him that what he was going to do would hurt like hell.
"Almost over." Leonardo's voice sounded soothing, or rather that he was trying to make himself sound that way. Zane doubted their leader would know how to be comforting if his life depended on it.
Kal hissed his breath. "How hard did you hit him?"
"As hard as I needed to. This was serious. I won't have him accidently commanding us to do anything." "Leonardo," Jason shouted down the hallway. "What the hell man? I can feel his pain on the other side of the caves. Are you killing him?"
"I'm giving him control and I'll tell the two of you to can your complaints. Zane hasn't uttered a sound. He's tougher than the two of you combined. Just because you both decided to become whiny since you mated doesn't mean Zane doesn't still have the ability to tough out a little pain."
Leonardo dropped his arm, which he had been using to deliver the power surge, and Zane collapsed to his knees before falling forward and catching himself right before he would have face-planted. Holy. Shit. He couldn't form words. His whole body was on fire.
Kal and Gabe knelt next to him and finally Gabe spoke. "Oh yeah, he seems perfectly fine to me. Good work there, boss."
Jason placed a hand on Zane's shoulder and some of the pain lessened. "There is a right way and a wrong way to do things. I know you can do better than that. I've seen you do it, Leonardo."
Zane raised his head. "It's okay."
"What?" Jason looked between them. "You
collapsed. I can feel the pain in every cell in your body."
He nodded. "It's like being reborn to control. I can't
explain it exactly…it's like…" He really didn't have the words.
Leonardo had done something to him on the cellular level and it was as though everything was finally right. If he'd been raised by his Outsider parents maybe he would have always been this way, his body inherently knowing how to manage his powers. Instead, for the first time in his life, despite the pain, he felt…calm, controlled, and in charge of his own abilities.
"Thank you, Leonardo. Little warning about the ouch factor might have been helpful but, seriously, man, thanks."
The room was silent before Leonardo cleared his throat. "You're welcome. Shit, where is Marina? Where is Drew? Have they totally checked out of this or what?"
He turned on his heel and stormed out of the room as Zane finally got to his feet. "Did I say something wrong?"
Jason rose before he shook his head. "No. I think you might have said exactly the right thing."
"Whatever. I can't do emotional shit. I'm not cut out for it." Other than Raquel. For her, he'd do anything she needed, always. "I have to go break into a safe so let's not wait to see if this shit is working. Colin, go stand on your head."
He ordered it and they all stood there staring at Colin who eventually rolled his eyes. "If I had actually done it I would so be kicking your ass right now."
"Everything felt different." Zane took a deep breath. "I felt the power rise but then I was able to push it back down again. Great."
Gabriel stepped forward. "You might have to work at it a bit. Don't assume it's always going to be that easy. I frequently lose control of my shit if I'm angry."
"Right. So watch my temper."
Gabriel shook his head. "Is such a thing possible? I'm almost always pissed off and you seem even more volatile than me."
"Imagine how much worse it would be if I wasn't always working at it."
Laughter sounded around him as the guys in the room all cracked up almost simultaneously. He looked around, the noise bringing the heebie-jeebies up his spine. Had he made some kind of joke and not been aware of it?
Generally speaking, he wasn't funny, not even a little bit.
"Ready to go, Gabe?"
His friend nodded. "More than."
The thought jarred him. That was right. Gabriel was his friend. And so was Colin. Jason probably could be if he worked at it for half a minute. Leonardo…well, who knew with him?
Raquel needed to get back from where she'd gone and until she did he needed to get busy and fast.
"Great. Let's get out of here."
Zane managed not to fall over when Gabriel landed him in the living room of the quite-dead scribe. Colin wasn't so lucky; he stumbled, finally righting himself by gripping onto the plaid couch. "I hate that."
"Me too." Zane strode past Gabriel who once again didn't comment on their discomfort in how he threw them through space. "But like Leonardo's power enhancing, magic sucks."
He walked toward the back of the house calling over his shoulder while he did. "Colin, if you wouldn't mind going invisible and scouting to make sure Sebastian isn't around, it wouldn't suck."
"When the room stops spinning, I'll get right on that. My brother gets to sit in a room and read all day. Why did I end up with the scout for demons genes? We're twins."
Gabriel laughed. "Maybe you lost a bet."
Zane
stared down at the safe. It hadn't changed since the last time he'd seen it. The black lines which prevented him opening it were the same as the day before. Only, the feeling that he wanted to turn away and never see it again wasn't present. He bent down until he faced the safe directly.
"Think you can do it?" Gabriel asked from the doorway. "Or did we come here for a big, fat dose of nothing again?"
He didn't turn to look at the other man, keeping his eyes on the black lines of the safe. They seemed to dance, to move. He wouldn't be able to trace them, or follow their pattern. It was either too quick or their movements contained no recognizable path he could touch.
Gabriel stared at him and Zane felt compelled to speak, to fill the silence. Very weird for him. "You in such a rush to get your past life memories back? What if you were a loser in every lifetime? It doesn't inspire much hope for you."
"Har. Har. Har."
Zane concentrated, the feeling of pain Leonardo had given him when he'd zapped his powers returned. This was about power. But then again what wasn't? Everything in life—at least in his—had to do with the balance of it. Who controlled his world? He would give his life for Raquel in heartbeat. In half of one, if he was honest. And, damn it, like it or not, he owed allegiance to Leonardo and the others. But this moment belonged to him. He owned that box.
"In the past, I've been able to hear safes. I know that sounds insane. They give up their secrets to me. Tell me their codes, their combinations. Like a whisper in my ear. I open them. Pop. It's no big deal."
Gabriel exhaled loudly. "And of course this is more difficult."
"No. It was yesterday. Not now. See? I can control things with magic apparently. I didn't want the stupid gift and, if I let it get out of control, you're all going to be following me around like I'm the pied piper. I don't want it. Only, I do want this safe open. What does Drew always go on about? Magic doesn't make mistakes."
Gabe snorted. "Please don't start that shit."
"I'm not. Don't worry. Only it can't be a coincidence that I can do this. The very thing I couldn't do yesterday I can manage today. The question is, did the timing come from our ancestors or from Sebastian? If I open this safe, do I help us or hurt us?"