sure,” I muttered as the bell rang. “I better go to class.” I turned and walked toward the door
“Selena,” Miss James called and I paused in the doorway. “Sometimes the answer is in the music.”
By Friday I was a nervous wreck. Alex had barely looked at me when we crossed paths and I knew I had hurt her deeply. I decided that Friday would be my last day here. I couldn’t handle another two hours of this, let alone two weeks. I only had one thing left to do before I left forever. I found Alex at lunch time coming out of the music room. I grabbed her hand and silently pulled her back into the room.
“I have to tell you two things,” I said before she could protest. “I promise afterwards you will never see me again.” Alex sighed but she sat down.
“What’s the first thing?” she asked.
“This is my last day here,” I said. “I’m going to Toowoomba. I’ll be going to boarding school there.” Mum had managed to find me a place at a boarding school the day before. She’d called Dad and he’d agreed to chip in half of the fees.
“You’re leaving?” Alex asked. Her voice was steady but a tiny flicker of emotion passed over her face.
“It was either that or move to my aunt’s,” I said. “I’d rather be at boarding school in Toowoomba than in Perth.
“And the second thing?” Alex asked. I took a deep breath before replying.
“I wanted to tell you the truth about why we can’t be together,” I said. Alex crossed her arms.
“So, is what you told me before a lie?” she asked. I sat down next to her.
“Not completely,” I replied. “Mum does dislike homosexuals but she has a good reason. My father left her because he was gay.” Alex glanced at me.
“And how do I know you’re telling the truth?” she asked.
“You don’t,” I said sadly. “You’re just going to have to trust me.”
“And this is the reason we can’t be together?” Alex asked. I nodded.
“I don’t want to lose my mum,” I said. “And I certainly don’t want to be shipped off to Western Australia.” Alex looked at me again, this time her eyes flashing in anger.
“You could have told me this from the start,” she said. “I might have been able to help.”
“Give it up, Alex,” I said. “It’s over, time to move on.” I reached over to cup Alex’s cheek but she knocked my hand away.
“It’s a long journey,” Mum said a week later. The boarding school had agreed to let me come for the last week of term to observe and I was going to be spending the two week holiday break with my roommate. Mum was not thrilled with this arrangement because it was an all girls’ school but no other school had wanted to take me on short notice.
“Do you want to go to the shop and grab yourself some snacks for the journey?” Mum asked as she held a fifty dollar note out to me. I stared uncertainly at the money, Mum hadn’t let me leave the house alone since she had found me with Alex.
“Aren’t you coming with me?” I asked. Mum smiled at me for the first time since that horrible Saturday.
“I think I can trust you to walk to the shop and back by yourself,” she said. I took the money and slipped it into my pocket. It was cold outside, so I grabbed my jacket before heading for the door. Then I stopped and looked at Mum.
“Thanks,” I said. She smiled again and I left. It only took me about ten minutes to walk to the nearby shopping centre. Of course, I headed straight for the lollies and chocolate but on the way I grabbed a couple of packs of chewing gum because they were on special. As I was parading up and down the chocolate aisle trying to decide between two blocks of chocolate I heard a familiar voice call out.
“It really is you,” she said. I turned to see Alex looking at me. I put the chocolates back on the shelf and walked away. Alex followed me. “I wasn’t sure that it was you for a second. You were alone and the last few times I’ve seen you, you’ve been with your mum. Are you under house arrest or something?” I stopped and spun around so quickly Alex ran into me.
“Just leave me alone, Alex,” I said. “I told you I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Alex smiled.
“Here’s the thing, Selena,” she said. “Your mouth says you don’t want to be with me but your eyes don’t agree.”
“It doesn’t matter what my eyes say,” I said. “I’ve made my choice, Alex, just accept it and move on.”
“Just answer one question, Selena,” she said. “It’s a quick one, I promise.” I sighed and looked at my watch. I’d been gone for about forty minutes but Mum had told me not to hurry.
“One question,” I said.
“You’re doing this because you love your mum and you don’t want to lose her right?” she asked and I nodded. “Well answer me this. Is it worth keeping your mother in your life if she makes you hide part of yourself?” I didn’t answer and Alex smirked.
“You know where to find me,” she said. “I will wait for you, Selena Harris.” She turned, walked down the aisle, turned a corner and vanished from my sight, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Half an hour later I walked back into the house.
“Did you spend all the money?” Mum asked as I strolled into the kitchen with two bags. I set the bags on the counter before reaching into my pocket. I pulled out five dollars and handed it back to Mum.
“Thought I should at least give a little bit back to you,” I grinned. Mum rolled her eyes as she put the five dollars back in her purse.
“I’ve packed the car,” she said, “So, we’re good to go.”
We lived in Blackall and it would take at least nine hours to drive to Toowoomba. We only stopped to catch a few hours of sleep at a motel in Dalby. We finally reached Toowoomba around lunch time the next day and headed straight to the school. I couldn’t help but compare my old school with this one. I always knew that Blackall State School was small and that meant it was easily navigated but as we walked through this school I became intimidated by its size. The principal’s office was twice the size of the one at Blackall and there was a secretary manning the front desk.
“My name is Santana Harris,” Mum told the secretary. “We have a meeting with Miss Berry.”
“I’ll see if she’s ready for you,” she replied and returned a minute later. “You may go through.”
“Selena Harris, I presume,” Miss Berry said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” We shook hands briefly before Mum and I sat down.
“It’s lovely to meet you,” Mum said. “Thank you for agreeing to take Selena into your school early.” Miss Berry smiled.
“It will be good for Selena,” she said. “It will give her a chance to make friends and see how our school functions without the pressure of school work.”
“Will she be sharing a room with just one girl?” Mum asked. Miss Berry nodded.
“We like students to have a roommate,” she said. “I know you expressed that you would prefer Selena to have her own room but we find it’s helpful for the students.” Mum glanced at her watch.
“I hate to be rude,” she said. “But it is a long drive back.”
“You are welcome to visit at anytime,” Miss Berry said. “But I assure you that Selena will be fine.” Mum hugged me.
“I will see you soon,” she said. “I love you.” It was the first time Mum had said that to me in two weeks and I was stunned.
I watched Mum leave the room and continued to look at the door until Miss Berry coughed.
“I’m sure you’re dying to meet you roommate,” she said, glancing at her watch. “She should be heading to her next class.” She briefly looked something on her computer.
“What is my roommate’s name?” I asked.
“Demetria Jansen,” she replied. “And her next class is Spanish.” Miss Berry got to her feet and I followed her as we walked out the door.
“Tell me, Selena, what made you decide to come to boarding school in the middle of the year?” Miss Berry asked as we walked along. I glanced at her and then looked away. I wasn’t sur
e exactly how much Mum had told her. We walked in silence for a couple of minutes until Miss Berry realised that I was not going to answer.
“All your mother told me was that there were some problems with your last school,” she said but she seemed to sense the real reason that I refused to answer. I grunted,
“You could say that.”
“Would you like to elaborate?” she asked. I considered saying no but it occurred to me that I was already ten hours from the girl I loved and there wasn’t anything worse that Mum could do to me.
“Uhh, I was dating a girl at my last school,” I said. If Miss Berry was shocked, she hid it well
“Oh?” she said.
“My mother did not approve,” I said. We fell into silence for another few steps until Miss Berry stopped and knocked on a door.
“I would like Demetria Jansen,” she said to the teacher inside. “Is anyone here in Demetria’s next class?” I saw a girl in the last row raise her hand. “Could you let your teacher know that I have excused Demetria?” She nodded as the girl in front of her packed her belongings and walked towards the front of the room.
As Demetria left the room and shut the door Miss Berry said: “Demetria Jansen meet your new roommate Selena Harris.”
“It’s just Demi,” Demetria said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“I don’t have a nickname, I’m afraid,” I said. “It’s good to meet you, though.”
“Don’t worry,” Demi said. “By the end of the holidays I’ll have a nickname for you.” I laughed, one of the few laughs I’d