Love was the only incentive strong enough to keep us moving through this world of endless danger and painful disappointment. Love was the beginning and the end.
And I had it. I had it in spades.
That was how I knew we would win… how I knew we would prevail over Matthias.
Matthias’s love had been twisted and tainted with his poison. He had put his wife in a position where she had to be murdered. He had pushed his son to the brink of rebellion. He had abused Tyler and Miller since they were infants, all in the name of family.
And now he had nothing. Now he was a desperate man, fueled by vengeance and evil gain. But I had love. I had the love of my friends and this family that had become my own.
But most of all, I had the love of a man who would never let me go, never let this world or our circumstances pull us apart.
I would win because I had a greater weapon than guns and fists. I would win because no matter what Matthias Allen thought he lived for, it was not greater than what I lived for. The future he imagined was nothing compared to the future I would do anything to reach.
I stood up, turned around and threw my arms around Hendrix’s neck. He had been standing directly behind me, protecting me in any way that he could. I pressed my face against his chest and inhaled him. He smelled like sweat, dirt and blood, but there was something so much more to him, something that was only him.
I dragged my fingers over the back of his neck and plunged them into his matted hair. We were a mess, covered in the gore of yesterday and the filth of this prison. Our clothes were torn, our skin scraped raw and bloodied, our hair caked in grime and worse things. But we were so much more than physical appearance, so much more than our circumstances and situations.
“I didn’t expect that from the ruthless war lord,” he mumbled against my ear. “Adela has to be at least fifteen years younger than him.”
I smiled against his shirt. “I was just thinking that. It doesn’t make sense, but everything boils down to love, yeah? Love or insane evil, the two driving forces of this world.”
Hendrix pulled back to cup my face with his calloused hands. “That was pretty poetic.”
I shrugged, “I’m an apocalyptic philosopher.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “That so?”
“I mean, obviously. But you’re right. It’s weird about Adela and Diego. Do you think he’s going to die?”
Hendrix nodded. “Unless we get out of here fast.” He looked back at his brother and jerked his chin for them to join us. “We need a plan. Harrison and King are going to come back for us, probably with Nelson. But we need something in the meantime.”
Vaughan nodded. “We need this cell door opened.”
The wind rattled the blackened windows around the building. We had a half window high up on the wall of our cell, but the thick bars in enclosing it kept it from being useful. It appeared completely black without any hazy sunlight to filter through.
“If we get out of here, what are we going to do? He has enough men to shoot all of us in seconds,” I whispered.
“Hey!” one of Matthias’s guards yelled at us. He threw a stapler across the room and it clanged against the metal of the bars. Javi shouted back at him in Spanish, clearly not happy with the now damaged office supply. The guard ignored Javi, “No whispering!”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, guys, we wouldn’t want to whisper our way out of here.”
The guard jumped to his feet and pushed to stand in front of the bars. He stuck his hand through, pointing a meaty finger at me. I had the strongest urge to bite that stupid finger right off.
I managed, just barely, to withhold that urge.
“Shut your mouth, bitch. You’re lucky I don’t end your miserable existence right here.” His non-pointing hand pulled a gun from the back of his pants.
“Do it,” I hissed at him. I hadn’t even realized I started to move forward until Hendrix wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back to his chest. “Do it!” I screamed at him. “Shoot me. Kill me! Do it!” The guard stared at me, steam practically whistling from his ears. His upper lip curled with frustration and his eyes bulged from his head. He couldn’t touch me and we both knew it. “Kill me,” I taunted. “I’ll meet you on the other side.”
He jammed his gun back into his pants and I prayed for a misfire. I would have loved that. Unfortunately he wasn’t as dumb as he appeared. “I’m watching you,” he promised.
“Good,” Tyler threw at him. “That’s what you’re supposed to do. Pretty sure Matthias would kill you if you did anything else.”
His face turned red with fury. And when he tried to speak spittle sprayed from his mouth and landed on his sweaty brown shirt. “It’s not me he’ll be killing.”
Tyler and I shared a look and I almost laughed. Clearly this man was unhinged. Did Matthias have any sane men working for him? I doubted it.
“Can we go just like a half hour without a death threat?” Hendrix chuckled. “Is that too much to ask?”
I lay my head back on his solid chest and shook my head no. He should know by now that I had trouble making friends. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“Yeah,” Vaughan grunted. “This is all about fun.”
“Well, it’s certainly not boring.” I smiled at him to cover my despair. Truthfully, I would love boring. I would love it if the next hundred years of my life were so boring they brought me to tears. I’d had enough excitement to last several last times. I couldn’t do this for much longer.
Then again, maybe I wouldn’t have to. Maybe Matthias would change his mind about the long years of torture in my future and shoot me before we stepped foot on American soil.
My stomach churned. I wasn’t afraid of death, not after all of this. If the last three years had taught me anything it was that death was not some scary unknown. Death was relief… death was retirement. Death was freedom. There were so many things worse than death on this earth. And I swore that I had met them all.
A gust of wind shook the building. Plaster dusted off the ceiling and the lanterns flickered. Javi took a pleased breath followed by a slow clap. The guards looked around at each other with raised eyebrows, gripping their guns tighter in their fists.
Diego moaned in his fitful sleep and I was surprised to feel relief. He hadn’t died yet. We would never be friends, but I knew I didn’t want Matthias to be the reason he crossed over.
Between the weather outside and our current captivity, the world had never seemed more Apocalyptic. A chill snaked through my bones and wrapped around my spine. The electricity in the air danced on my skin, pulling my hair into standing and raising goose bumps.
There was something about this moment, something final.
I would never see America again. I knew that. I knew it without having to be told or voicing it aloud. My days as an American were over. I wouldn’t join the Colony. I would never see the place of my birth again.
I’d chosen this path. I’d collected people I could love and stay loyal to. And I had said goodbye to a country I had never planned to leave before the infection.
The finality of this realization hit me like a punch in the gut. I closed my eyes against sudden, surprising tears. I had loved that land. I had never thought of myself as a patriot before, but until now, I hadn’t let myself mourn the country I left behind… only the people.
I hated Mexico. Honestly, it reminded me mostly of hell. I didn’t really expect the rest of Central and South America to get any better either.
But there was no other choice. Either we managed to escape and I fled this place for a new home or I died here. I knew that for certain.
In no way would I let Matthias put me on a truck and force me back to a place he contaminated, to a place that represented home for me, but would turn into endless years of torture and pain.
I would die first. Matthias and his chamber of never-ending pain was definitely one of those worse-than-death things I hoped to avoid.
This was it. This wa
s my moment of truth and discovery.
I turned around and wrapped my arms around Hendrix’s waist again. I couldn’t seem to stop touching him.
I never wanted to stop touching him.
I wanted the chance to touch him forever.
“We have to get out of here,” I said to his chest. I brushed my lips over the carved muscle, feeling his warm skin through the thin cotton of his t-shirt. “We need to do something.”
“Piss him off,” Hendrix murmured.
I lifted my head and met his deep blue eyes. This place was dark without light from the outside to help the candles and lanterns illuminate us, but I could feel the depth of his gaze. Like an ocean.
Like the sky full of infinite stars.
Hendrix held steady. His arms tightened around my waist and his fingers dug into my hips. I felt his fear, but his voice stayed constant. My fingers tracked the frantic beat of his heart. He knew we were out of options. This was it. Kill or be killed. “Goad him into opening the door and we’ll make a move.”
“You think he’ll fall for it?” I didn’t share the same confidence. My voice wavered with fear.
“If anyone can get him to, it’s you, Reagan. I’ve never seen anyone get so insane with rage. Force him to open that cell door and we’ll make our move.”
I licked my dry lips and tried to think of a better plan, a plan that wouldn’t line us up in front of a firing squad.
But weren’t we already there?
“Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll piss him off.”
He smiled a soft smile at me. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”
The lantern light flickered over his handsome face, spotlighting the sharp bones of his cheeks. His beard covered the bottom half of his face attractively. His eyes glittered at me, hiding secrets that belonged only with us, meant only for us.
I breathed in slowly and savored this moment with him. I tried to memorize every piece of him, committing it to an eternal place inside of me. I wanted to keep this picture of him forever. I wanted to always remember how much he loved me, how much he would sacrifice to be with me and stay with me.
This love we shared tied us together with an unbreakable bond. I had never felt so connected to something before, so bound to anything else. And I was utterly amazed that it would not go away, that I could possibly feel like this for the rest of my life.
What I had with Hendrix would only grow stronger, only become more intense. I couldn’t even understand how that was possible. I already felt as much for him as I could feel, as much as I was capable of.
My hands started to tremble and my tongue felt clumsy. Hot tears pricked at my eyes, but not because I was still afraid. Not even because I was insecure. No, it was the force of my love for this man that wanted to swallow me whole. This love remained too powerful for me to contain, and too consuming for me to hold in the delicate cage of my body. “I love you,” I swore to him.
He brushed wayward hair off my forehead before dropping his to meet mine. He rested there for a few silent moments, as if absorbing my words, as if he felt them as strongly as I did. “I love you too.” His low murmur did nothing to hide the emotion in his voice.
My heart and soul swelled with his matching feeling. I felt some metaphysical part of me bend and expand so that I could hold this happiness, this… confidence… this greatness.
The door pushed open and our moment was shattered by cold reality.
Matthias started barking out orders and shouting furiously as his men jumped to attention. The wind howled through the open door, making the lanterns quiver and the papers rustle. Dust and rocks crackled through the room as they invaded our storm sanctuary. The scent of burning flesh and Zombie rot drifted toward me.
What was going on out there?
The last man inside struggled to yank the door closed, flailing wildly as the wind threatened to overpower him. His eyes were wild when he turned around, but Matthias didn’t acknowledge the weather or what smelled like a fire.
Finally the door slammed shut and a hush fell over us. Matthias’s attention turned to me and I knew, even without looking at him, this was my perfect opportunity to rile him up. I could feel the tension that rolled off him and permeated the room. He was worked up and prime for pissing off.
Before I could pull away, Hendrix’s mouth moved to my ear and he whispered words that made my heart ache with something lovely. “By me?”
“Always,” I vowed.
With that promise between us, Hendrix let me go and I spun to face the man I was going to kill today.
“I know she’s not dead,” Matthias shouted. “Where is she?”
Page.
I could have told him that she wasn’t alive anymore. I could have kept up the lie that I knew he almost believed.
But then again, I really needed him to open this cell. I took a step forward and pushed back my shoulders. “Somewhere you will never find her.”
The air sparked around him as his fury shot through the roof. “I’ll find her,” he snarled. “And when I do, I’m going to kill her. When I find her, I’m going to gut her from throat to stomach and let the Feeders feast on her useless body. I’m going to throw her body to the animals and let you watch her disappear piece by fleshy piece. Mark my words.”
Hot fear surged through my system and I felt like crying. Not Page. That would never happen to Page. I gathered my courage and held his steady gaze. “Just as long as she doesn’t kill you first.”
He spit out a bitter laugh. “Right.” More insane laughter cackled through the room. “That child isn’t strong enough to lift a weapon to kill me.”
Adrenaline spiked through my blood as I sucked in a quick breath and pushed words out I had kept locked up. I knew Matthias wanted Page, but I didn’t think even he knew for sure how Linley died. I saw the suspicion flicker through him; I watched it drive the desire to find her. But he couldn’t be sure. Not until I gave him confirmation.
“Does your wife feel the same way? Is she as confident that Page is as harmless as you think she is?”
Matthias’s face flooded purple and for a second I thought he might choke on his tongue. “What did you say?”
“I was just wondering if Linley felt the same way about Page? Does Linley have an opinion on what Page may or may not be able to kill?”
“Get the keys!” Matthias shouted. “Hand me the goddamn keys!”
Someone complied and in seconds Matthias had the cell door ripped open. He stared at me, his eyes black holes of evil. I suppressed my victorious smile, even as every man in the room trained their guns on us.
“Bring him to me,” Matthias ordered.
I took a step forward before his words truly registered. Him. Bring him to me.
I lifted my gaze to meet Matthias’s enraged glare. “I blame you for her death too,” he told me in a rumbling growl. “You’re just as responsible.” He paused to breathe and I could see that it took great effort for him to calm his choking anger long enough to inhale and exhale something worthwhile. “So you will suffer like I did. Like I do. I will put you through what I have been through and then I will let you live long enough to feel this pain every day forward.” He stared at me, letting his words sink in and making sure that I understood his intention. “Bring me Hendrix,” he ordered again. “So that I can put a bullet through his brain.”
Chapter Two
“No.” The word made no sound as it slipped from my lips. It was a cry from my heart, a ragged plea from my soul.
I stood there in shock as men shoved through the narrow door to grab Hendrix from behind me. He kicked at them and threw a punch, fighting off their hold.
I couldn’t move or think. My brain refused to accept that this was happening.
That I had made it happen.
Someone knocked into me and I tripped off balance. The harsh movement snapped my senses back in place. My heart pounded painfully against my chest and my body became a weapon that had been molded through three years of near death experienc
es.
I grabbed Hendrix’s hand as it flew by me. Our gazes met for a brief second and I could have sworn the bastard, the bastard that I loved, winked at me.
I launched myself at one of the assholes trying to take Hendrix away. My fingernails clawed at whatever skin I could reach, drawing blood and coming away packed with skin. The man shouted out his pain and backhanded me across the face. The impact landed on my jaw, punching pain through my face.
I landed on my feet and jumped back into the fray. I attacked the guy a second time, yanking his hair from his scalp and clawing at his eyes.
Tyler, Vaughan and Javi joined the fight. Fists flew with purpose, smacking against skin and bone.
Matthias shouted for nobody to shoot. The men that had grabbed Hendrix hadn’t been holding their guns; they needed both hands to restrain him.
More men tried to push into the cell, but we dominated this cell and gained ground with every passing minute.
Hendrix managed to twist around and drop his elbow directly on the top of the head of the guy to his left. The guard collapsed unconscious to the ground. His body landed in the doorframe, blocking the path to the swinging door. They couldn’t get it closed with the guy in the way and that seemed to be their plan now that we had revolted.
With one guard down, more shoved through to subdue us. Heavy hands clamped around my arms and picked me up off the ground as if I weighed nothing. I was too blind with fury to make out the man’s face, but I knew that he was huge. He acted like it was no bother at all to carry me in front of him.
I shouted foul curses at him. I heard his low, amused chuckle and my vision blurred red.
Somewhere in my chaotic mind, I registered that he might be strong, but he still had to use both hands to carry me. That left the rest of him unprotected. My foot sprung forward with every ounce of capable strength and I connected with his crotch.
He dropped me at the same time he sucked in a breath as loud as a vacuum. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he bent forward to cup his broken man parts. Somehow in the last minute, Hendrix had broken free from his other guard and when the man that held me dropped, he turned to seamlessly pick up the wheezing guard and smash his face into his knee. The sickening crack of bone resounded through the jail, cheering on our efforts.