Read Love and hatred Page 7


  CHAPTER VII

  Only Harber, the woman who, after having been maid to Katty during hertroubled married life, had stayed on with her as house-parlourmaid andgeneral factotum, was aware of how very often Mr. Pavely called atRosedean on his daily walk home from Pewsbury. To-day he had hardlypressed the bell-knob before the front door opened. It was almost as ifHarber had been waiting for him in the hall.

  As he put down his hat and stick he was conscious of feeling very gladthat he was going to see Katty. Mrs. Winslow had again been away, was itfor four days, or five? It's true that for part of that time he himselfhad been to London, and very busy, but even so the time had seemed long.He told himself that he had a hundred things to say to her, and he evenfelt a little thrill of excitement as he followed the servant throughthe hall.

  And Katty? Katty, who the moment she had heard the front-door bell hadquietly begun making the tea--she always made tea herself, with the helpof a pretty spirit lamp--Katty also felt a queer little thrill, but fora very different reason. Since they had last met she had come to acertain resolution with regard to Godfrey Pavely, and though she did notmean to say anything to-day even remotely bearing on it, still itaffected her, made her regard him with rather different eyes.

  It is a great mistake to think that coldness and calculation always gotogether. Katty Winslow was calculating, but she was not cold. For onceshe had been quite honest when writing that odd little postscript to herletter of thanks for Godfrey Pavely's wedding present. Godfrey had, invery truth, been her first love, and she had suffered acutely in herheart, as well as in her pride, when he had run away. Even now, she feltas if there were a strong, secret, passionate link between them, andthere was no day when she did not tell herself that she would have madethe banker a perfect, and yes--a very happy wife.

  * * * * *

  Godfrey came into the drawing-room with a pleased, eager look on hisface. He took his hostess's hand in his, and held it for perhaps athought longer than he would have held, say, Mrs. Tropenell's hand. Butthe hand he now held was a soft, malleable little hand, not thin andfirm, like that of Oliver's mother.

  Katty was smiling at him, such a bright, friendly, pretty smile. "Sitdown," she said softly. "And before we begin talking, take a cup of tea.You look very tired--and you're late, too, Godfrey. I was beginning tothink that you weren't coming at all!"

  And then he said something which surprised her, but which somehow chimedin quite surprisingly with what had been filling her busy, active brainof late.

  "Jim Beath has been with me most of the afternoon," he spoke wearily,complainingly. "I had to ask him to lunch at the Club, and he stayed onand on."

  Now the Beaths were by way of being intimate friends of Katty Winslow,and Jim Beath was a client of Godfrey Pavely.

  "Oh, but that's very interesting!" she cried. "I've been wondering somuch how that affair is going on--I do so hope it will be all right!"

  And then, as she saw a shocked look come over her visitor's narrow,rather fleshy face, she said in a low voice, "You know how I feel aboutthe divorce laws, Godfrey. I can't help it. They're horriblyunfair--so--so ridiculous, in fact!"

  As he remained silent, she went on, insisting on her own point of viewfar more than was her usual way when talking to her self-opinionatedfriend: "Don't you realise how hard it is that two people utterlyunsuited to one another should have to go through that sort of horridfarce just in order to get free?"

  He looked at her uncomfortably. Sometimes, even now, Katty startled himby the things she said. But how pretty she looked to-day, bending overthe tea-things! Her burnished hair was dressed in thick soft coils, herwhite, well-manicured hand busily engaged in pouring him out just thecup of tea he liked, with the exact proportions of milk, cream, andsugar that were right--and which Laura never remembered.

  So it was mildly that he answered: "I don't think the Beaths ought towant to get what you call 'free.' Divorce was not instituted to meet acase like theirs--" he hesitated, and then with a certain effort he wenton: "Divorce was instituted to meet a case like yours, Katty."

  Godfrey Pavely was weary of the Beaths and of their divorce plot--for sohe called it to himself. There were other things he wanted to talk toKatty about. Besides, he did not think that that sort of affair was anice subject of discussion between a man and a woman, however intimate.In some ways Godfrey Pavely was very old-fashioned.

  But she wouldn't let it alone. "Divorce _ought_ to meet a case liketheirs," she went on obstinately.

  "My dear Katty! What would happen to the country if all the marriedpeople who didn't get on with one another were to separate?"

  And then, looking at her defiant face, a most extraordinary anddisagreeable suspicion darted into Godfrey Pavely's mind. Was itpossible, conceivable, that Katty was thinking of Jim Beath as a secondhusband for herself? The thought shook him with anger and withrepugnance. He felt he must have that out--here and now.

  "Do you like Jim Beath?" he asked slowly; "I know you've been seeing agreat deal of them this last year. In fact, he mentioned you to-day."

  She could read him like a book, and she remained silent long enough tomake him feel increasingly suspicious and uncomfortable.

  But to-day Katty was not in the mood for a cat-and-mouse game, so sheanswered deliberately: "No, Godfrey, I can't say that I do like JimBeath! I've tried to like him. But--well, I do thoroughly understandNita's feeling towards him. He's so sarcastic--so hard andunsympathetic!" She waited a moment, then added significantly: "Still, Ithink he's behaving awfully well now. He'd have been quite willing to goon--he told me that himself. But when he saw that Nita was _really_unhappy, and that she was getting fond of another man, he made up hismind that he would do all he could to make her free."

  Katty was playing rather nervously with the edge of the prettytea-cloth, and Pavely wondered whether she was telling him the wholetruth. She was flushed, and she looked unwontedly moved.

  "It's a very odd thing for a man to do," he said coldly. "I mean a manbeing willing to give up his wife to another man."

  "Why shouldn't he? When he doesn't love her, and when she positivelydislikes him! Nita never understood Jim Beath--she was always afraid ofhim, and of his sharp, clever tongue. Of course it's sad about theirlittle boy. But they've made a very good arrangement--they're going toshare him. Jim will have the child half the year, and Nita the otherhalf, till he goes to school--when they will have him for alternateholidays."

  "You talk as if it was all settled!" Katty's visitor exclaimed crossly."If they say as much to other people as they seem to do to you, theywill never get their divorce--the King's Proctor is sure to intervene!"

  Katty gave a quick, curious look at her visitor. Godfrey went toofar--sometimes.

  The thought flashed through her mind that she was wasting her life, herfew remaining years of youth, on a man who would never be more to herthan he was now, unless--unless, that is, she could bring him to thepoint of putting himself imaginatively, emotionally into Jim Beath'sshoes. _Then_ everything might be changed. But was there any hope ofsuch a thing coming to pass?

  But all she said, in a constrained tone, was, "Of course I ought not tohave said anything of the matter to you at all. But I'm afraid, Godfrey,that I often do tell you things I ought to keep to myself. You must tryand forget what I said."

  He was surprised, bewildered, by the sudden steely coldness of her tone."Of course you can say anything you like to say to me. Why, Katty, Itell you all my secrets!"

  "Do you?" She glanced over at him rather sharply. "I don't think youtell me _all_ your secrets, Godfrey."

  He looked at her puzzled. "You _know_ that I do," he said in a lowvoice. "Come, Katty, you're not being fair! It's because I have such ahigh regard for you, that I feel sorry when you talk as you've beentalking just now--as if, after all, the marriage bond didn't matter."

  But even as he said these words, Godfrey Pavely felt a wild impulse tothrow over the pretty little gimcrack tea-table, take Katty
in his arms,and kiss her, kiss her, kiss her! He came back, with an inward start, tohear her exclaim,

  "I don't consider the peculiar relations which exist between Nita andJim Beath a marriage at all! They have nothing in common the one withthe other. What interests him doesn't interest her----"

  She waited a moment, saw that he was reddening uncomfortably, and thenhurried on, driven by some sudden instinct that she was at last playingon the hidden chord she had so often longed to find and strike inGodfrey Pavely's sore heart: "Nita can't bear Jim to touch her--she willhardly shake hands with him! Do you call _that_ a marriage?"

  As he remained silent, she suddenly said in a voice so low as to bealmost a whisper, "Forgive me, Godfrey. I--I ought not have said that toyou."

  He answered loudly, discordantly, "I don't know what you mean, Katty!Why shouldn't you say anything you like about these people? They arenothing, and less than nothing to me, and I don't suppose they're verymuch to you."

  Even as he spoke he had got up out of the easy chair into which he hadsunk with such happy content a few minutes before. "I must be goingnow," he said heavily, "Oliver Tropenell's coming in for a game oftennis at six."

  She made no effort to keep him, though she longed to say to him: "OliverTropenell's been in your house, and in your garden, all afternoon. Bothhe and Laura would be only too pleased if you stayed on here tilldinner-time."

  But instead of saying that, she got up, and silently accompanied him tothe front door.

  There poor Godfrey did linger regretfully. He felt like a child who hasbeen baulked of some promised treat--not by his own fault, but by thefault of those about him. "Will you be in to-morrow?" he asked abruptly."I think I might come in a little earlier to-morrow, Katty."

  "Yes, do come to-morrow! I seem to have a hundred things to say to you.I'm sorry we wasted the little time we had to-day in talking over thosetiresome people and their matrimonial affairs."

  There was also a look of regret in her face, and suddenly he toldhimself that he might have been mistaken just now, and that she hadmeant nothing--nothing in the least personal or--or probing, in what shehad said. "Look here!" he said awkwardly. "If there's anything youreally want to say--you said you had a hundred things to tell me--wouldyou like me to come back for a few minutes? There's no great hurry, youknow--I mean about Tropenell and his game."

  She shook her head, and to his moved surprise, the tears came into herpretty brown eyes. "No, not now. I'm tired, Godfrey. It's rather absurd,but I haven't really got over my journey yet; I think I shall have totake your advice, and stay at home rather more."

  For a long moment they advanced towards one another as if somethingoutside themselves was drawing them together. Then Godfrey Pavely putout his hand, and grasped hers firmly. It was almost as if he washolding her back--at arm's length.

  Katty laughed nervously. She shook her hand free of his, opened the doorwide, and exclaimed: "Well! Good-bye till to-morrow then. My love toLaura."

  He nodded, and was gone.

  She shut the door behind him, and, turning, went slowly upstairs. Shefelt tired, weak, upset--and, what she did not often feel, restless andunhappy as well. It irritated her--nay, it did more than irritate, ithurt her shrewdly--to think of those three people who were about tospend a pleasant couple of hours together. She could so easily, sosafely, have made a fourth at their constant meetings.

  If only Laura Pavely were a little less absorbed in herself, a littlemore what ordinary people called good-natured! It would have been sonatural for Laura, when she knew that Oliver Tropenell was coming todinner, to send across to Rosedean, and ask her, Katty, to make afourth. It was not as if Laura was at all jealous. She was as littlejealous of Godfrey and of Katty--and at that thought Katty gave a queer,bitter little laugh which startled her, for she had laughed aloud--aswas Godfrey of Laura and Oliver! With as little or as much reason? Kattywould have given a great deal to be able to answer her own question. Shethought she knew half the answer--but it was, alas! by far the lessimportant half.

  She opened the door of her bedroom, went through into it, and withouttroubling to take off her pretty blouse and freshly ironed linen skirt,walked deliberately to her bed, lay down, and shut her eyes--not tosleep but to think.

  * * * * *

  What had been forced upon Katty Winslow's notice during the last fewweeks had created a revolution in her mind and in her plans.

  For a while, after her return from that dreary period of convalescencein a seaside home, she, who was generally so positive, had doubted theevidence of her own eyes and senses. But gradually that which she wouldhave deemed the last thing likely to happen had emerged, startlinglyclear. Oliver Tropenell, to use Katty's own expression, had fallen madlyin love with Laura Pavely. No woman could doubt that who saw themtogether. When Katty had left Rosedean, there had been the beginningsof--well, not exactly a flirtation, but a very pleasant friendshipbetween Tropenell and herself. Now he hardly seemed to know that sheexisted.

  But if it was only too plain to see how matters stood with Oliver, thiswas far from being the case as regarded Laura. Katty owned herself quiteignorant of Laura's real nature, and, as is so often the case withthose who know nothing, she was inclined to believe that there wasnothing to know.

  Perhaps, after all, it was only because this man was the son of herfriend that Laura allowed him to be always with her. They were alwaystogether--not always alone, for Oliver seemed to be at The Chase quiteas much when Godfrey was at home, as at other times. But with Katty, shebeing the manner of woman she was, it was the other times whichimpressed her imagination. In the six short weeks she, Katty, had beenaway, Oliver Tropenell had evidently become a component part of LauraPavely's life.

  She knew, vaguely, how the two spent their time, and the knowledge irkedher--the more that it suggested nothing of their real relations. Thusgardening was one of Laura's favourite occupations and few pleasures;and Oliver, who could never have gardened before--what gardening couldthere be to do in Mexico?--now spent hours out of doors with Laura,carrying out her behests, behaving just as an under-gardener wouldbehave, when working under his mistress's directions.

  And Godfrey, instead of objecting to this extraordinary state of things,seemed quite pleased. Oliver, so much was clear, had become GodfreyPavely's friend almost as much as he was Laura's.

  As she lay there, straight out on her bed, Katty told herself withterrible bitterness that it was indeed an amazing state of things towhich she had come back--one which altered her own life in a strangedegree. She had not realised, till these last few weeks, how muchGodfrey Pavely was to her, and how jealous she could become even ofsuch an affection as his cordial liking of Oliver Tropenell.

  Yet when Godfrey was actually with her, she retained all her oldascendency over him; in certain ways it had perhaps even increased. Itwas as if his unsuspecting proximity to another man's strong, secretpassion warmed his sluggish, cautious nature.

  But that curious fact had not made his friend Katty's part any the moreeasy of late. Far from it! There was no pleasing Godfrey in these days.He was hurt if she was cold; shocked, made uneasy in his conscience, ifshe responded in ever so slight a way to the little excursions insentiment he sometimes half-ashamedly permitted himself.

  Tears came into her eyes, and rolled slowly down her cheeks, as sherecalled what had happened a few moments ago in the hall. He had beenaching to take her in his arms and kiss her--kiss her as he had beenwont to do, in the old days, in the shabby little lodging where shelived with her father. Poor little motherless girl, who had thoughtherself so clever. At that time she had believed herself to be as goodas engaged to "young Mr. Pavely," as the Pewsbury folk called him. Evennow she could remember, as if it had happened yesterday, the bitterhumiliation, as well as the pain which had shaken her, when she hadlearnt, casually, of his sudden disappearance from Pewsbury.

  What hypocrites men were! The fact that often they were unconscioushypocrites afforded Katty little consolat
ion.

  It was plain that Godfrey was quite unaware of Oliver's growingabsorption in Laura, but that surely was not to his credit. A man ofhis age, and with his experience of life, ought to have known, ought tohave guessed, ought to have seen--by now! Instead, he remained absorbedin himself, in the tiresome little business interests of his prosperouslife, in his new friendship for Oliver Tropenell, and--in thatambiguous, tantalising friendship with herself.

  Again she told herself that she was wasting what remained to her ofyouth and of vitality over a thoroughly unsatisfactory state of things,and painfully she determined that, if what she had gradually come toplan since her return home did not come to pass, she would leaveRosedean, and make another life for herself elsewhere.

  * * * * *

  The things Katty toiled and schemed for had a way of coming to pass. Shehad planned her divorce long before it had actually taken place, at atime indeed when it seemed impossible to believe that it ever could takeplace. Bob Winslow had been adoringly, slavishly devoted to her for morethan two-thirds of their married life, and it had taken her trouble andtime to drive him into the courses it was necessary he should pursue toprocure her freedom.

  She had no doubt--there could be no doubt--that were Godfrey free hewould turn to her instinctively at once. She was well aware of her powerover him, and till lately she had been virtuously proud of what sheimagined to be her loyalty to Laura. Also she had had no wish to makeher own position at Rosedean untenable.

  Even as it was, Godfrey came far too often to see her. Had she livednearer to Pewsbury, even a mile nearer, his frequent calls on her wouldhave meant a flood of ill-natured gossip in the little town.

  Yes, the situation, from Katty's point of view, was thoroughlyunsatisfactory, and, as far as she was concerned, it was time it wasended or mended. And then, once more, for the hundredth time, herrestless, excited mind swung back to what was to her just now the realmystery, the all-important problem--the relations between OliverTropenell and Laura Pavely.

  Of course it was possible--though Katty thought not likely--thatTropenell was still unaware of his passion for Laura. Perhaps he stilldisguised it under the name of "friendship." But even if that were so,such a state of things could not endure for very long. Any day sometrifling happening might open his eyes, and, yes--why not?--Godfrey's.