“Sure!” she shouted back.
I swam over to where she was. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“Don’t be.”
“No, I was an asshole. It’s just that I don’t want to talk about certain things.”
“I get it, Luke. I’m the queen of not wanting to talk about things, so please, don’t worry about it.”
I smiled at her. Every time I saw her, I found myself smiling.
“I want you to come to the bar tonight,” I blurted out.
“I’d love to. Thank you for inviting me.”
We swam back to the shore, and Lily looked at me.
“I think I’m going to ask Giselle to drive me home.”
“If you’re ready to leave, I’ll take you.”
“No, you stay and enjoy yourself.”
“I’m taking you home, Lily. End of discussion.”
She shook her head at me and grabbed her bag.
13
Lily
I climbed onto the back of Luke’s bike and wrapped my arms him, making sure to close my eyes as he took off out of the parking lot. It was getting easier to ride with him, and I didn’t feel as scared anymore. He told me that I’d be safe with him, and that’s how he made me feel.
We reached the building, Luke parked his bike, and we both climbed off.
“Aren’t you going back to the beach?” I asked as I handed him his helmet.
“Nah, I think I’m going to practice some songs for tonight.”
As we walked to our apartments and inserted our keys into the lock, we both turned and looked at each other.
“See you later,” he said.
“Yeah, see you later.” I smiled.
I walked into my apartment and threw my keys onto the counter; then I went into the bathroom and started the shower. I looked at myself in the mirror; my hair was a hot mess, not only from the water, but from Luke’s motorcycle helmet. I stepped into the shower and washed the salt and sand off my body. After spending a ridiculous amount of time in there, I turned the shower off and stepped out only to hear my phone chiming. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me as I walked over to my bag to get my phone. There was a text message from Giselle.
“Brace yourself darling, I just got a call from your mom.”
I gasped, and my eyes grew wide. “What the hell did she say?”
“She said she misses you dearly, and she wants to speak with you. She’s trying to track you down. I told her that I haven’t talked to you in months, and that the last time I did, you were in Portland.”
“Thanks, Giselle.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tonight at the bar.”
“You’re going?”
“Yep, Lucky invited me. He’s so sexy, Lily!”
Oh God, I didn’t know how to respond to that. Giselle and Lucky are total opposites. I messaged her back.
“Ok, see you later.”
I felt sick to my stomach. Why the hell would my mom be trying to track me down? I know why, because I’m her daughter, and even though she’s dead to me, I’m not dead to her. I needed to go lay down, so I walked into the bedroom and climbed onto my bed. When I settled underneath the covers, I heard Luke playing his guitar from the other side of the wall. Laying down on my side and tucking my hands underneath my pillow, I laid there and listened as Luke strummed the chords of his guitar. The sound was soothing, and it reminded me of the times when my dad would sit at the end of my bed, play his guitar, and sing me to sleep.
***
I was standing alone in the main entrance of the dark church. Looking down at my wedding dress, it suddenly turned black. My heart began pounding in my chest as I began to panic. I slowly made my way down the dark halls. As I approached the main part of the church, the white bows that sat upon the pews had turned black. I looked up at the altar and saw that the several arrangements of white calla lilies were also black. What’s going on? Where is everybody? I started calling Hunter’s name. I needed to find him. As I approached a small room by the kitchen, I heard noises coming from it, so I extended my hand and reached for the doorknob. Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me.
“Don’t open that door, pumpkin.”
I turned around to the familiar voice, and I saw my father standing there, shaking his head.
“Daddy, someone’s in there. They can explain what’s happening.”
“Don’t do it, Lily. Don’t open that door!” he screamed.
Suddenly, he disappeared. I slowly turned the knob and opened the door. Hunter was standing there, naked, with a naked woman pinned up against the wall. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Hunter turned his head, and the woman looked at me. That woman was my sister, Brynn, and the two of them were smiling at me. I put my hand over my mouth and looked to the corner of the small room only to find my mother standing there, pointing and laughing at me. I slammed the door shut and ran down the long hallway that kept getting longer and longer. I couldn’t breathe, and I started screaming. Tears were falling from my eyes so fast that everything became blurry, and I could no longer see, so I dropped to my knees…
***
“Wake up, Lily. Wake up; you’re having a bad dream.”
My eyes flew open, and Luke was standing over me with his hands clasping my shoulders. I couldn’t catch my breath, and my face was soaked with tears. I just laid there and stared at him, trying to focus on what just happened. He sat on the edge of the bed.
“Are you ok?” he asked as he wiped the tears from my face.
“I’m fine. How did you get in here?” I asked as I sat up.
“I’m the maintenance man, remember?” He smiled. “I heard you screaming, so I came right over. I thought you were in trouble.”
I pushed my hair back with my hands and took in a deep breath. “I had a bad dream, that’s all.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I just want to forget it,” I said as I looked down.
Luke put his arms around me and pulled me into him. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. His scent was captivating, and his arms were strong as he sheltered me. I wanted to run my lips softly against his skin. I was lost in him and in the moment. I pushed back and looked at him.
“Do you always treat your neighbors like this?” I asked.
“Only the beautiful ones.” He smiled.
The butterflies in my stomach awoke and started fluttering around as we stared into each other’s eyes. He took his finger and ran it along my jaw line, then over my lips. My heart was racing. I knew what was coming, and I braced myself for it. Luke leaned into me and tilted his head as he softly brushed his lips against mine. He put his hands on each side of my face as our kiss deepened. I parted my lips, allowing access for his tongue to enter my mouth and meet with mine. He stopped and put his forehead against mine while still holding my face in his hands.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Don’t be,” I whispered back.
He got up from the bed. “I’ll see you later at the bar,” he said, never looking back at me.
“Yeah, see you later.”
I put my fingers on my lips, recalling the breathtaking moment. There was feeling and magic in the way he kissed me, and I’ve never felt anything like it before, not even with Hunter. I heard music coming from the other side of the wall, and I could tell Luke regretted kissing me. How am I going to face him tonight at the bar? There’s also the issue with my mother. I walked to my closet and pondered about what to wear. I pulled out my black strapless sundress, slipped it on, and looked at myself in the full-length mirror. I couldn’t stop thinking about Luke. The moment he kissed me, I wanted more of him. My life was starting to unravel right before my eyes, but I needed to stay in control. I won’t let anyone hold power over my emotions or feelings again.
I ran the flat iron through my hair as I looked in the mirror. All I saw was a broken girl who had trust and daddy issues. Suddenly, my phone rang, and Gretchen was calling me.
r /> “Hello,” I answered.
“Hey, Lils. Sam is going with Luke to the bar to set up the equipment. Do you want me to pick you up so that we can drive together?”
“What about Giselle?”
“She sent me a text to tell me she’s going with Lucky. They left the beach together, and I don’t know where they went; that situation is weird.”
Don’t I know it. “Sure, we can drive together.”
“Great, I’ll be over in two seconds. Bye.”
I looked at my phone in confusion. Then it hit me; she must be at Luke’s. I put the finishing touches on my hair as Gretchen came strutting in the bathroom.
“You look great, Lily.” She smiled.
“Thanks, so do you.”
“Sam and I just had the most amazing sex!”
I sighed as I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. “TMI, Gretchen.”
“Did something happen between you and Luke?” she asked as she sat on the bed.
“No, why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. When Sam and I got back to the apartment, he looked more depressed than usual.”
“I don’t know what his problem is, but I don’t need it,” I said as I slid on my silver bracelet.
Gretchen jumped up from the bed. “Something did happen! You better tell me right now, Lily Gilmore!”
“We shared a small kiss, but he regretted it and left. There’s nothing more to tell, and I don’t want to talk about it again.”
Gretchen came up behind me and put her arms around my neck. “He’s badly wounded, Lily, and he doesn’t know how to heal. Sam said Luke’s pretty much isolated himself since the accident.”
“I’m sorry about that, and I feel really bad for him, but I’m not the person to put him back together again. I’m broken too, and I have my own issues. I don’t need to take on someone else’s.”
“Wow, Lils. That’s deep. But tell me this, what’s more perfect than two broken people trying to heal each other?”
“Let it go, Gretchen. I’m done with guys, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s go now because I need a drink.”
“I know you when you get like this, and you better stay away from the vodka,” she warned as she grabbed her keys.
14
Luke
“Dude, come on, get out of the shower already,” I said as I pounded on the bathroom door. “You’re worse than a girl!”
“I’ll be out in a minute!” Sam yelled.
I couldn’t get my mind off of Lily, and I couldn’t believe I kissed her. Her soft lips against mine were intoxicating, and it left me wanting to explore more of her. She probably thinks I’m a jerk, and this will probably ruin our friendship. How could I be so stupid? I haven’t kissed a girl since Callie.
“Bro, what’s up?” Sam said as he stood in the doorway of my bedroom.
“Nothing, I’m just thinking about some things.”
“I could tell you were in deep thought the way you were just standing there. Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I kissed Lily,” I blurted out.
“What! Seriously, man?”
“Don’t make it a bigger deal than it already is. I’m sure she hates me now, and I’m positive I ruined our friendship,” I said as I walked out of the bedroom.
“You didn’t ruin anything, Luke. I can tell Lily likes you and maybe kissing her was what you needed to do to let her know you’re interested in her. And don’t say you’re not, because I know you,” he said as he pointed at me.
“I can’t stop my feelings, but I can stop my actions. I find that when I’m with Lily, I think less and less about Callie, and that’s not right, man.”
Sam walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Luke, you loved Callie, and what you had was great, but she’s gone, and you have to start accepting that. Do you think Callie would want you to live in misery and not move on? Wouldn’t you want Callie to find someone who’d make her happy and take care of her the way you did? Dude, come on, you need to let go.”
“You think it’s so easy,” I said as I wiped away a tear that fell down my face. I grabbed my keys from counter. “Let’s go,” I said as I walked out the door, out of the building, and climbed into the Jeep.
***
As we walked into Bernie’s, I saw Lily sitting at the bar. Gretchen jumped up and ran over to hug Sam. I didn’t know what to say to Lily. I already apologized for kissing her. She turned around and looked at me as I gave her a small smile before walking over to the stage to get things set up. Shortly after, Lucky came strolling in with his arm around Giselle.
“Feeling good tonight, boys.” Lucky strutted over with a big smile across his face.
I looked at him and rolled my eyes. “Let me guess, you got laid.”
“That’s right, Lukey boy,” he said as he slapped me on the back. “You should try it sometime.”
I ignored him because he was Lucky, and that’s how he was. When we got the stage set up, the bar had already filled up since Bernie had advertised that we’d be playing tonight. I kept looking over at Lily, but she wouldn’t look at me. She kept her back turned and drank her beer. I took a deep breath, and I walked over and sat on the bar stool next to her.
“Hey,” I said.
She picked up her beer, took a sip, and looked at me. “Hey.”
Candi, the bartender, walked over to where we were sitting. “The usual, Luke?”
“The usual.” I smiled.
Lily sat there and stared at her beer bottle. “I’m sorry about earlier,” I said.
“Sorry about what?” She smiled as she looked at me.
“Um, when I crossed the line and kissed you.”
She tilted her head and slowly shook it. “I’m sorry, Luke, but I don’t recall you kissing me.”
I grinned because that was her way of telling me that everything was cool between us. I held up my beer bottle as she held up hers, and we lightly tapped them together.
“I have to get on stage now.”
“Good luck.” She smiled.
15
Lily
I sat there while Luke walked to the stage. He was still apologizing for our kiss. I could tell he felt awkward about it, so I had to turn it into nothing, even though it was something to me. It was something real that stirred up desire and passion from within. Something I won’t so easily be able to forget. I was in deep thought, holding the beer bottle between both my hands, when I heard his voice. I closed my eyes for a moment because his voice was breathtaking. As I turned around to face the stage, I saw him standing there, in his stonewashed jeans and brown boots. His navy blue shirt was tight and emphasized his muscular, ripped body. He was sexy as hell, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted him to kiss me again. I needed another drink, so I motioned for Candi, and I ordered a shot of vodka. The beer just wasn’t doing it, and I needed to forget about Luke, the kiss, and my mother. I threw back the shot that Candi set down in front of me, and I ordered another. I listened intently as he sang his song. The words haunted me.
“Sleep, baby, sleep
Peace is just a dream away
Let it go and release your fears
For tomorrow’s another day.”
I grabbed the shot glass out of Candi’s hand before she could set it down. After Luke finished his song and sang a few more, I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. Giselle and Gretchen walked over and sat down at the bar next to me.
“Why didn’t you sit with us at the table?” Giselle asked.
“I wanted to sit here; I didn’t feel like getting up.”
“Are you ok, Lily?” Gretchen asked.
“Sure,” I said. “Everything’s just dandy. My mom, who’s dead to me, is trying to track me down. The boy next door kissed me, then apologized and left me sitting on the bed, looking like an idiot. I found my fiancé and my sister fucking in a closet on my wedding day, and best of all, my mother knew they were seeing each other for a long
time. Cheers to my awesome fucking life,” I said as I held up my beer bottle.
“What’s going on?” Luke said as he walked up behind me.
“Hey, Luke, great show,” Giselle and Gretchen said at the same time.
Sam and Lucky walked over, grabbed their girls, and kissed them. I rolled my eyes and turned back around towards the bar.
“Let’s dance,” Giselle said as she grabbed Lucky’s hand.
“Awesome idea! Come on, Lily,” Gretchen said.
“You go ahead; I’ll join you in a while.”
“Come on, let’s go sit at a table and talk,” Luke said as he lightly touched my arm.
I got up from the stool, grabbed my beer bottle, and walked with Luke over to a table.
“You were really amazing; I want you know that.” I smiled.
“Thanks.” He smiled as he looked down in embarrassment.
A waitress, named Deb, came over to the table and set down two napkins. “Great performance as always, Luke. You want the usual?”
“Thanks, Deb. Get me a beer and whatever Lily wants.”
“What can I get you, sweetie?” Deb asked.
“Two shots of vodka and make them doubles, please.”
“Ok, two shots of vodka and a beer coming right up.” She smiled.
“Switching over to the hard liquor?” Luke asked.
“I need it tonight,” I said.
“Why’s that?”
“I really don’t want to get into it.”
Suddenly, two girls approached the table. I recognized one of them; she was the one giving Luke a blow job that night I walked in on them.
“Hi, Luke.” She smiled. “You were so awesome tonight.”
“Thanks.” He smiled.
“Would you like to get together later and maybe talk or something?” she asked.
“No, not tonight.”
Deb walked over with our drinks and just in time. She set the vodka down in front of me and handed Luke his beer. I slammed the first shot and then the second.
“Aw, come on, I promise that you’ll have a really good time,” she whined.
“Back off. He said no! Now, take your little slutty asses and get away from my table!” I yelled.