“I kinda like it,” Gretchen admitted. “As long as I can escape to the porch swing when I get overwhelmed.”
The bell on the front door sounded, and Gretchen left her yellow rose bouquet to go see who it was. Linnie Robbins, sporting a brand new—huge—diamond. Another wedding she needed to pay the bills, so she hitched her smile in place and gave Linnie the information paper she needed to make sure she got what she wanted and knew what payments were due when.
But all she could think was Another wedding that isn’t mine.
She returned to the workroom and found Drew concentrating on his phone, his eyebrows drawn into a frown. It seemed they both needed a day to get through some personal things, so she settled back to work silently, her thoughts rotating around Drew’s kiss and what it might mean for her in the future.
“Hey, I need to run out for a few minutes.” Drew stood and headed for the door without looking at her.
“Oh, okay. Where are you going?” Gretchen focused on pinning the bouquet together, but she still saw Drew turn back and flash her a fast smile.
“I’ll bring back lunch.” With that, he headed into the alley, and she realized that his statement wasn’t really an explanation at all.
Chapter Sixteen
Drew just wanted to get Yvonne off his text stream. Out of his life. Where he thought she already was. But she’d been texting him all morning, and now she wanted to meet for coffee.
No, he’d told her. Meeting for food or drink was what people did who were dating, and he wasn’t interested in getting back together with Yvonne. Not now, not ever.
The image of Gretchen crying in that empty farmhouse ran through his mind as he crossed the street to the park. When he’d seen her there, his whole heart had collapsed, and he didn’t want her to go another minute without knowing how he felt about her.
“Yvonne.” Drew approached the statue in the center of the park, where the woman stood gazing up to the umbrella there. He’d suggested they meet here—a public place where they couldn’t be mistaken for a couple.
She turned, and Drew looked into her familiar face. He felt nothing, and that was a huge blessing. He wasn’t sure how he’d feel when he came face-to-face with her again, and he was relieved not to have any sudden doubts, any lingering attraction.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m here. What do you want to talk about?” He’d tried to get her to talk to him on the phone, through a text, something. She hadn’t wanted to, insisting she needed to see him in person.
Her porcelain face transformed into a smile. She scanned him from head to toe and ran her fingers through her dark hair. “Hey, Drew.” She moved as if she’d step into him and kiss him, the way she had so many times before.
He jerked backward. “I’m busy,” he said. “What do you need?”
Her smile slipped, and she reshouldered her purse. “I just wanted to…” She sighed and looked past him, over his shoulder. “I needed some closure.”
“Closure?” Drew’s impatience climbed, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand here. He wasn’t sure why he’d come at all. “You’re the one who left town while I was at work, and broke up with me through a text. A text, Yvonne.”
So maybe Drew needed some closure too.
“I know.” She nodded and focused on the ground. “I need to say I’m sorry about that.” She lifted her gaze to his, and he found panic and hope in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Drew.”
Something in his chest pinched, and he put another step of distance between them. He liked Gretchen. He liked Gretchen a lot, and he wasn’t going to get involved with Yvonne again.
“Apology accepted.” His voice sounded like he’d gargled with glass.
“I’m moving back to Hawthorn Harbor.” Her words landed like bombs in his ears.
“That’s…great.” He cleared his throat. “When?”
“This week.” She tried to smile at him, but when he didn’t return it, the gesture faded. “I’m going to be living and working out on my family’s farm.”
Drew felt like someone had punched him in the throat. She’d never been interested in his family’s farm. She wouldn’t even come out to see it. She proclaimed to dislike everything about lavender, and while Drew didn’t live and work on the farm, she’d made it clear she wasn’t interested in that life.
“What changed your mind?” he asked.
“My mother isn’t doing well.” She hugged her arms around herself. “My dad is working non-stop on his ice cream recipes, determined to win one more title for her.”
Drew’s mouth turned dry. Augustus had more time, more resources, and more experience than Drew did. And now he had extra drive to win. “Your mom is that bad?”
“We’re not sure, and Dad just wants to give her another crown.” Yvonne took a breath and shrugged. “And I just wanted you to know, so it’s not awkward when we see each other around town.” She edged forward and put her hand on his arm. Her touch felt like ice against his skin, and he let her keep her fingers there for two heartbeats before he gently backed up.
Her hand fell back to her side, and Drew started walking down the sidewalk. “All right. I’m going to go grab lunch.” He eased away from her, surprised when she joined him.
“I’ll come with you. Where are you going?”
His mind raced as he tried to think of something she didn’t like. But Gretchen wanted the Hawthorn harvest club from Andy’s Anchor, the sandwich shop across the street from firehouse three.
“The Anchor,” he said, unable to lie.
“Oh, I love their hot meatball sub.”
So did Drew, but he kept that to himself. It was early still, but there was a short line at the Anchor. Drew waited with Yvonne, feeling weird and awkward with the wrong woman at his side.
“So what are you up to these days?” she asked.
“Same old stuff,” he said. She didn’t get to know what his life had been like for the past three years. She’d left, and he wasn’t going to tell her anything about his trials in Medina.
“Drew?”
He turned to find Janey behind him, her face colored with shock.
“Hey, Janey.”
Her eyes skipped over to Yvonne, and since they’d all grown up in town, of course she recognized her. “Yvonne. What are you doing back in town?” She looked at Drew again, and he heard her unspoken words.
What are you doing back in town and out to lunch with Drew?
“I’m moving back to town,” Yvonne said, and she and Janey kept talking. Drew couldn't find a way to tell Janey that this wasn’t at all what it looked like. He moved forward and ordered his and Gretchen’s sandwiches, leaving Yvonne to order for herself.
“What is going on?” Janey hissed as he stepped to the side to wait for his food.
“Nothing,” he whispered back. “She just showed up and said she needed closure.”
“Have you told Gretchen?”
“Drew?” His order got called, and he stepped forward to claim the two sandwiches.
On his way past Janey, he said, “There’s nothing to tell. Yvonne and I are over.” And with that, he marched out of the sandwich shop, leaving Yvonne where she should be—behind him.
Another couple of weeks passed before Drew found himself out at the farm without Gretchen and Dixie around. Her walking boot had finally come off, and she’d taken her daughter to the beach. They hadn’t spoken to Dixie the way they’d planned, because that day had been weird for both of them.
Janey obviously hadn’t said anything to Gretchen about seeing Drew and Yvonne at the sandwich shop, and he was glad. He’d spoken true—there was nothing to tell.
He and Gretchen continued to hold hands on the porch swing after Dixie went to bed and steal kisses out on the farm when the girl was busy riding her favorite horse.
School had gotten out for the summer on Friday, and Gretchen wanted to have a “much-earned vacation” with just the two of them. Drew couldn’t argue, though he wanted to tag alo
ng if only so he wouldn’t have to be alone.
Gretchen had filled the void in his life that he’d thought firefighting would. Caring for her and learning about her these past few months had been nothing short of wonderful. He still counted down the hours at work, but not because he was bored, but because he couldn’t wait to get back to her and Dixie.
He walked into the farmhouse and found his mom asleep on the couch in the living room. Concern spiked his heart rate but he calmed when he saw her peaceful expression and the soft rise and fall of her chest.
She wasn’t known for napping, but Drew supposed she’d had quite a lot of excitement at the farm these past several weeks, and he tiptoed past her and entered the kitchen. Joel wasn’t there, so Drew grabbed a sports drink from the fridge and headed out to the barn.
He found Joel there, brushing down Lucky Star, his favorite horse. “Hey, Joel.” Drew picked up a rope someone had dropped and began coiling it. “Mom’s asleep. Is she feeling all right?”
“Oh, she had a touch of the stomach flu in the night and didn’t sleep well.” Joel gave him a reassuring smile. “She’s all right.”
Drew nodded, the questions he wanted to ask his stepfather building behind his tongue. “Joel, can I ask you something?”
Joel glanced up, his smile gone now. “Sure, I suppose. About what?”
“The farm next door.”
Joel started nodding as if he’d been expecting Drew to come asking questions about it.
“You don’t work it,” Drew said. “The lavender’s gone wild. Did you really buy it so no one else would?”
“About, yeah. I didn’t want someone to buy it and come in and build a hundred-home subdivision.” He finished with Lucky Star and wiped his hands down the front of his jeans. “I don’t have the time or manpower to maintain the farm, but well, your mother thought you might want the place one day.”
Pure surprise snaked through Drew. “Really?” He wondered what he’d done over the years to show her he wanted to be a lavender farmer and not an EMT. “I love my job.”
“You’ve been restless for years,” Joel said. “You come out here almost every day, even before Gretchen and Dixie started living here. You take care of the horses, feed our chickens, and visit with our nanny goats.”
“Well, I—I—” Drew didn’t know what to say. He did love the farm; he always had. But did he want to own and run one himself? The idea didn’t take long to root itself into his brain and settle there.
“You maintain all of my equipment, for which I'm grateful. I just keep telling your mother to be patient with you. That you’ll figure things out on your own.” He came forward and while Drew had always liked Joel, he’d never really made room in his heart to love the man the same way he’d loved his dad.
“You come out in the summer to harvest. You’re practically running the farm as it is.”
Drew shook his head, knowing there was a lot more than the physical things he did necessary to run a farm. “I don’t do the money side of things. I don’t plan the watering schedule and make sure the plants are thriving. I get to do all the fun stuff.”
“Then hire someone else to do the stuff you don’t like,” Joel said, grinning. “That’s why I asked you to do the tractors and the goats.”
“There’s outbuildings to maintain,” he said. “You do all of that.”
“Because I like it. I’d do it for you too, if you wanted.”
Drew’s gaze wandered southwest, to the farm that sat there. He couldn’t see it from inside the barn, and he walked down the aisle and looked beyond the white fence that delineated the two properties. “I’ve never honestly thought about being a lavender farmer.”
Joel clapped his hand on Drew’s shoulder. “Well, maybe you should. It’s a good living.” He walked past him and headed back into the house. Drew stayed outside a bit longer, his mind sifting through things. Gretchen things. Farm things. Lavender things. EMT things.
He didn’t feel equipped to make decisions by himself, and he wished Gretchen were here so he could talk to her. It almost felt like they needed to discuss this and then make a decision together, because he wanted her in his life for always, and he didn’t want to condemn her to a life of farming if she didn’t want it.
She loves this farm, he thought. And the one next door. Though he’d found her crying in that upstairs bedroom a couple of weeks ago, he’d quickly learned the tears weren’t because of sorrow. She had good memories at that farm, even if the circumstances that brought her to it each summer weren’t ideal.
He wandered over to the fence and leaned against it, the way he had several times over the years as he conversed with her granddad. He’d been a nice guy, a hard worker, and really smart about his lavender plants. The fact that they were still thriving all these years later without anyone caring for them proved that.
“Drew!”
He turned at the sound of his mother calling his name. He hurried down the fence line until she could see him. He waved until he caught her attention and she pointed to her wrist. Dinner time.
He walked toward her, and she went back inside. Once he’d entered the kitchen, he washed his hands and gave his mom a quick hug. “Feeling better?”
“It’s amazing what an afternoon nap can cure,” she said. “Joel said he mentioned the farm next door to you.”
“Donna,” Joel said from his place at the kitchen table. “Let the man think for a day or two.”
“Or a week,” Drew said. “I don’t know, Mom. Honestly, it’s a lot to think about.”
“And you’ll probably want to talk to Gretchen.”
Drew knew he hadn’t done a great job of keeping his relationship with Gretchen a secret from his mom or Joel. “Yes,” he said slowly. “I want to talk to Gretchen about it.”
“She mentioned moving back to her house a few days ago,” his mom said, sending his heart crashing against his ribs. “Dixie dang near dissolved into tears.” His mom bustled around the kitchen, putting steaming white rice in a bowl and pouring chicken stir fry over it.
“I’ll admit, I don’t know what I’ll do out here without them.” His mother sniffed and turned to set the bowl on the table. “Let’s eat.” Her eyes looked glassy, and Drew realized his mom loved Gretchen and Dixie.
“Mom,” he said, but he didn’t know what else to add.
“Sit down, sit down,” she said, her tone impatient and yet emotional at the same time. “I’m fine.”
“What else has Dixie told you?” he asked after serving himself some food. “Anything about her wish?”
“She’s mentioned it a time or two, but she won’t tell me what she wished for.”
“Any hints? Gretchen’s pretty worried it won’t come true, and Dixie’ll be devastated.” Drew caught his mom and Joel exchanging a look, but neither of them said anything.
“What am I missing?” he asked.
“The wish is about you,” his mother said carefully. “I don’t know the whole thing, obviously, but Joel overheard Dixie talking to Harriett, the horse she likes, and she said your name.”
Drew’s gaze flew to Joel’s. “What did she say?”
“I didn’t really catch all of it, and I didn’t know it mattered until a few days later when your mother was helping Dix wash the dishes.”
Drew’s heart constricted when his step-dad used Dixie’s nickname. They really did love the little girl, and Gretchen moving back to town would be devastating for everyone.
“She said she wasn’t sure her wish would come true, because her mom can be really stubborn,” his mom said. “And that’s when Joel realized he’d heard her talking about her wish too.”
“Yeah, but what did she say?” Drew had completely abandoned his food, his curiosity over this conversation too much to absorb.
“Again, I didn’t catch it all, but it sounded like she was worried about you leaving them. Her and her mother. That you were only here because her mom’s foot was hurt, and when it got better, you’d leave.”
>
His throat narrowed. “I don’t see how the two conversations fit together.”
His mom put her fork down. “I had to explain it to Joel too. You men.” She shook her head. “It’s obvious her wish is that you and her mom will get married. And she’s worried that won’t happen because her mom is really stubborn and you’re only in their lives until her mom’s foot heals.”
Drew just stared at his mother. Thankfully, blinking and breathing were involuntary, because his brain had gone completely blank.
“That’s how I felt.” Joel chuckled. “But now that I’ve had time to think about it, I think your mother is right.”
“Excuse me,” Drew managed to whisper before pushing away from the table and leaving the farmhouse. He drove back into town without really seeing the road. He wasn’t sure what time Gretchen would return from her trip to the beach, but it didn’t matter. He needed time to sort through everything. He needed the silence of his kitchen, and the concentration required to put together complex flavors into an award-winning ice cream.
Ninety minutes later, he spooned the vibrant, baby pink ice cream from the electric freezer and into a bowl. The cherries had been a close fit, but they’d been a bit too sweet and had taken over the lavender.
He’d been wanting to try cranberries for a few days, but he hadn’t had time. Something else was always occupying his mind, but now, he didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to question his life choices. Didn’t want to think that maybe he’d been doing the wrong thing for the past eighteen years.
So he mixed the milk, the sugar, and the lavender leaves and steeped them gently. He gave them all the time they needed to extract the greatest flavor. He let the milk cool and then reheated it, adding the egg yolks to thicken the base and give it body. Then he added a cranberry puree and the cranberry syrup he’d made several days ago, the dark red liquid turning the base the beautiful bright baby pink color it would maintain through freezing.
He’d added the black pepper—only three-fourths of a teaspoon—to the mixture just before freezing, and now the moment had come for him to taste it. He’d sampled the base without the pepper and it had been a perfect combination of sweet and sour, and he hoped the savory would come through with the additional seasoning.