He took a deep breath and dipped his spoon into the lavender cranberry ice cream. He put it in his mouth and let the flavors flow over his tongue. The lavender was definitely prevalent, there right on the front of his taste buds. The cranberry hit him next, and it was the perfect blend of sugary, candied berry with that sour punch. The black pepper lingered in the back of his throat, but the lavender was the dominant aftertaste.
He let the spoon fall to the counter, not a single critique coming to mind about his ice cream. “This is it,” he said to himself. He took another bite just to make sure he hadn’t hallucinated the flavors. Still delicious. Still perfectly balanced.
His first thought was to call Gretchen and tell her. He wasn’t sure where she was, but he picked up his phone and dialed her.
“Hey,” she said, fuzz ringing in the background.
“Where are you?” he asked.
“Driving back from the beach. We’re probably thirty minutes away.”
“I think I just made the ice cream worthy of a Lavender King. You wanna stop by and taste it?”
“Are you kidding? Yeah, we’ll stop by your place.”
“Great.” He couldn’t erase his smile as he scooped the ice cream into a plastic container and put it in the freezer. He loved ice cream soft and fresh from the maker, but he also liked it hard, sculpted into a perfect sphere with a sprinkle of nuts on top.
“Nuts.” He stood still in his kitchen, wondering what he had in his cupboards that he could garnish his ice cream with. For the competition, he couldn’t simply scoop the ice cream and call it good. He hadn’t even thought past the recipe yet, and he would definitely need to.
He worried that nuts would add another flavor he didn’t need, but having crunch would definitely be welcome with the smooth texture of the ice cream. Exhausted both mentally and physically, he left his ice cream lab and went out to his porch to wait for Gretchen.
Blue and Chief scratched against the gate, and he let them out with the words, “Stay by me.” They obeyed, and the three of them sat on the top step and waited. Drew absently scratched Chief’s head, his relationship with Gretchen different now for some reason. Different, and she’d been gone for three days.
When she pulled up, Drew couldn’t help smiling and moving down the steps to greet her. She’d only been gone for a couple of days, but a tidal wave of missing moved through him. “Hey.” He wrapped his arms around her as soon as she stepped from the van and kissed her.
She giggled against his lips and kissed him back.
“I missed you,” he murmured before kissing her again, his hands cradling her face and holding her in place. All at once, he remembered Dixie. He pulled away and put a couple of steps of distance between himself and Gretchen, glancing around for the girl.
Dixie stood at the front of the van, her hands on her hips. “I knew it,” she said. Her chin quivered. “You lied, Mom. You said you weren’t dating him.”
“Dixie.” Gretchen took a lunging step toward her, but the girl stomped off, then sprinted into the backyard, the dogs following her as if she was playing a game with them.
Drew felt like he’d been struck by lightning. “You told her we weren’t dating?” His voice sounded like he’d sucked in a lungful of helium. “When did she ask?”
Gretchen turned back to him, her nerves plain to see on her fair features. Seconds passed with only silence. Drew waited. And waited, his chest pinching harder with each moment where she said nothing.
Chapter Seventeen
Gretchen had wanted her beach weekend to be something fun for her and Dixie. Something relaxing after a rough couple of months with her injuries. Something rejuvenating, so she could come back to Hawthorn Harbor and make some big-girl decisions.
So when Dixie had asked her point-blank if she was dating Drew, Gretchen hadn’t known how to answer. She’d said no before she’d given it any thought, mostly because at the moment she simply didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to have a hard conversation on the beach.
Dixie had seemed upset about her answer, but she’d recovered quickly. Now, though… She worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she looked at the gate Dixie had disappeared through.
Drew sighed and scrubbed his fingers through the hair on the back of his head. He was so handsome, and he’d been so patient with her all these months. He’d taken the step she’d wanted him to when he’d kissed her, and he’d simply been there whenever and wherever she’d needed him.
“I wasn’t expecting her to ask,” Gretchen said. “And I didn’t know what to say, and I thought we should talk to her together, and…” Her voice trailed off, because she was making excuses and she knew it.
“You told her we weren’t dating?” he asked again.
Gretchen nodded, horrified at what she’d done. “I’ll fix this.” She started toward the gate when she remembered the ice cream he wanted her to taste. She paused, torn between her daughter and Drew—exactly the spot she never wanted to be in. When Aaron died, Gretchen had vowed to herself to never put anything or anyone above her daughter. She just hadn’t realized at the time that such a promise included her own happiness.
“I’ll be right back.” She lifted the latch on the gate and almost got mowed over by Blue. She let the dog sniff her as she tried to locate Dixie. “Where is she, huh?”
Drew had a large backyard, and she’d never been in it. But when Blue started trotting toward a huge tree in the far corner, Gretchen followed him. Dixie sat with her back against the thick trunk, tears running down her face.
Gretchen sat beside her and ripped up a fistful of grass. “I’m sorry, Dix,” she said. “I should’ve told you the truth. Drew and I are dating.”
Dixie hiccupped and wiped at her eyes.
“You like him, don’t you?”
Dixie simply stared straight ahead, her jaw set. Gretchen had seen this exact same expression on her late husband’s face, and a flash of sorrow yanked through her.
“We were going to talk to you together,” Gretchen said. “That’s why I didn’t say anything on the beach.” She looked up into the leaves of the trees, hoping she’d said enough to get Dixie talking.
She drew her knees to her chest and watched the clouds move through the sky, giving Dixie the time she needed. Sometimes she needed just a few minutes, and sometimes she’d ask to go to her room until she was ready to talk. But as they weren’t at home, Gretchen hoped the conversation would get going pretty quick.
Blue and Chief scrambled up the back steps, their claws clicking against the wood. A moment later, Drew opened the door and let them in, shutting Gretchen and Dixie out.
“Are you going to marry him?” Dixie finally asked.
“I don’t know, Dix.” Gretchen was surprised at how much she liked the idea of being Drew’s wife.
“Do you miss Dad?”
“Every day.” Gretchen couldn’t make her voice louder than a whisper.
“I like Drew a lot,” Dixie said. “I think I’ve forgotten about Dad.” Her tears started anew. “And I don’t want to forget him.”
Gretchen put her arm around her daughter and brought her flush against her side. “I can tell you lots of stories so we don’t forget.”
Dixie nodded and held onto Gretchen. Her motherly emotions felt like they were about to burst. She didn’t want Dixie to experience more disappointment and sadness than she already had. Her daughter deserved the very best.
“Then I think it’s okay if you marry Drew.” Dixie sniffled, her tears nearly gone.
Gretchen laughed, the release of tension in her chest welcome. “We’re not quite to marriage yet, Dix.”
“Why not?” She pulled back and peered up into Gretchen’s face. Deciding to be honest, Gretchen stroked her daughter’s hair and smiled.
“Adults take a while to get to know each other really well,” she said. “I don’t want to make any mistakes.” It was too late for that, and she could only hope that Drew would be as forgiving as her dau
ghter. “I don’t want you to think he’s more important than you are.”
“I don’t, Mom. But I’m not a baby. You can tell me the truth.”
Gretchen’s emotions choked her, so she only nodded. Dixie wasn’t a baby, but it was hard for Gretchen to see her growing up, getting more mature, handling hard things so well.
“Let’s go try Drew’s ice cream.” Dixie stood up, wiped her face, and brushed off her shorts.
Gretchen had no choice but to go with her, but she fell back several steps as Dixie went up to the back porch and knocked on the door. She entered and said, “Drew?” before going all the way in.
“Wow,” Gretchen heard her daughter say. “This place is amazing.”
Drew chuckled, which meant he couldn’t be too mad. Right? Gretchen entered the house and knew immediately that he was still annoyed with her. He didn’t look at her as he pulled down three paper bowls and got out plastic spoons.
He detailed to Dixie—not Gretchen—how he’d made the ice cream, and then he scooped a lovely round ball of bright baby pink ice cream into each bowl. “Try it.”
Dixie didn’t waste any time taking a big mouthful of ice cream. Her eyes widened and she’d barely swallowed before she said, “Drew, this is amazing.” She dug back into her treat.
“You’re not going to try it?” Drew finally looked at her. She wanted to apologize. Trail her fingers down his sideburns and across his bearded jaw. Kiss him until he forgave her.
She picked up her plastic spoon and pulled her bowl closer to her. “I told Dixie that we were dating, and she said she’s okay with it.”
Dixie slowed her ice cream consumption and watched Drew and then Gretchen while she licked her lips. “Try the ice cream, Mom. It’s really good.”
Gretchen focused on her bowl and scraped off the top layer of ice cream until she had a healthy mouthful on her spoon. She lifted her eyes to Drew as she put the bite in her mouth. The flavor of lavender and cranberry made a party in her mouth, and she knew instantly that Drew had found his winning ice cream.
She moved around the kitchen counter to where he stood with his arms folded, his expression as heated as it was hooded. “Delicious, Lavender King,” she said with a hesitant smile. She wanted him to take her into his arms and laugh with her that he’d finally found the recipe he’d been searching for all these months.
“I’m sorry, Drew,” she said. “I panicked, and I wanted you there with me when I talked to Dixie.”
Dixie moved to her side. “Don’t be mad at her, Drew. She says she’s not going to make any more mistakes.”
That got him to relax a little bit. “Everyone makes mistakes, I suppose.”
He didn’t seem to, but Gretchen was willing to stick around a while and see if he did and how he’d handle himself.
“Do you really like the ice cream?”
“It’s a winner,” Gretchen assured him.
“Do you two want to help me with the garnishes?”
“What’s a garnish?” Dixie asked.
Gretchen fell back to her bowl while Drew explained what a garnish was and he and Dixie started running through possibilities. Watching him interact with Dixie, it was easy to envision herself marrying him and becoming a family. She’d been in love before, and she knew what it felt like. And she knew she was falling in that direction with Drew. He seemed to be as taken with her as she was with him, and she waited for the fear to strike right behind her lungs.
It never came.
“We need to talk.” Gretchen leaned against the doorway leading into the kitchen, where Donna sat at the table with a notebook in front of her. Gretchen recognized it as her menu plan and grocery list for the upcoming week, and she admired the older woman for being up this late on a Sunday evening, planning for the next seven days.
Donna set it aside and asked, “About what?”
Gretchen walked toward her, glad she could do so now without crutches or a walking boot. “My foot is all better.” She sat across from Donna. “I have a house in town that’s just sitting there.”
Donna lifted her chin, determination sparking in her eyes. “It’s summer, and Dixie’s out of school. Who’s going to watch her while you’re at work?”
“I have a babysitter I’ve used since I came back to town.”
Donna scoffed like that was the silliest thing she’d ever heard. “Joel and I are right here, and we’re not a daycare.”
“I can’t drive her out here every day. It’s too far.”
Donna dropped her tough-grandma act. “We want you two to stay on the farm,” she said, a slight desperate note in her voice. “Dixie is happy here. She won’t have to compete with other kids for our attention, and she absolutely loves the farm. Joel can use her help as the lavender needs to be harvested, and she can earn her keep by doing chores around the farm.”
Gretchen considered her words. Dixie did love it out here. She’d be happier here than at the daycare, though they had two trampolines and Sabra did a weekly field trip for the kids.
“I want to pay rent,” she said.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Dixie is earning her keep,” Gretchen said evenly. “I’m not doing anything.”
“Are you sure about that?” Donna asked. She gave Gretchen a knowing look, collected her notebook, and stood. “I think you’re helping us out with Drew, and that’s worth a lot.” She left the kitchen, left Gretchen to stew over how in the world she was helping Donna and Joel with Drew.
He’d stayed at his house, opting to let Gretchen and Dixie go out to the farm alone after the ice cream tasting. She still felt stupid for how she’d handled her daughter’s questions, and she tapped out a message to Drew.
Are we okay?
She wasn’t sure if he’d respond or not. He had the morning shift tomorrow, and he’d said he’d be in her flower gardens by seven-thirty, same as always. But that didn’t mean they were okay. She knew better than most that every conversation, every mistake, every memory rebuilt and reformed a relationship.
I’m okay, he sent back. Are you?
I feel foolish, but I’m okay. Next time you should come to the beach with us.
I’d like that, he said. A few moments passed before her phone vibrated again. I wasn’t lying when I said I missed you.
She smiled at her phone, wondering how she’d gotten lucky enough to have Drew be the one to drive by when she’d had a flat tire.
Before that, she thought as she thumbed out her response. I missed you like crazy. She sent the message and wondered if Drew delivering Dixie had been fate. No matter what, he had a knack for coming to her rescue and fixing whatever was wrong. She wanted him by her side now and forever. She wanted to rely on him, and she decided to do what he’d done when he’d kissed her that first time.
She told him.
Chapter Eighteen
Drew lay in bed, Gretchen’s messages brightening his phone screen—and his life.
I want to rely on you. Her message appeared on the backs of his eyelids even after he closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he let his phone drop to his chest, where he held it over his heart as it pushed love throughout his body with every pump of blood through his veins.
He didn’t want to tell her he loved her in a text. That didn’t feel genuine, and he wanted to see her face, breathe in her perfume, and kiss her when he told her how he felt about her.
So she’d made a mistake. After she’d explained more about what she’d wanted the weekend to be, he’d forgiven her. He understood the feeling of simply wanting a day away from everything, though he didn’t seem to mind taking care of his day job, cutting flowers for her, entertaining Dixie and Jess, or working around the farm.
But he wasn’t a single dad, alienated from his parents, or running his own business.
He’d forgiven her, but he hadn’t gone out to the farm with them. Dixie had asked him to. She’d said she needed to start making her wish again, as it hadn’t come true the first time. H
is curiosity burned through him as hot now as it had earlier. He didn’t want the little girl to suffer, but he’d needed a few hours to himself.
Which was silly, really. He’d had most of the day to himself. But with his winning ice cream recipe now in his notebook, with ideas for garnishes in a list underneath, Drew finally felt relaxed.
And not a moment too soon. With the Lavender Festival in only a month, he needed to make the ice cream a few times and make sure it was consistent every time.
Exhaustion made his thoughts slow. Before he fell asleep, he sent I want you to rely on me. How can I help you with that? to Gretchen. He silenced his phone and set his alarm. Because he didn’t really want to talk to her about what she needed this late at night. He also didn’t believe she actually did rely on him. She wanted to, and that alone was a big step for her.
Big enough for now, he thought as he drifted to sleep.
He enjoyed his new reality. One where he worked with Gretchen in the flower gardens, drove into town with her, shared lunch with her, and held her hand while they wandered through the downtown park where the Lavender Festival would be held.
A week passed, each shift he worked with Russ filled with questions. Did he like this job? Why did he like it? Should he take over the farm Joel had bought? Could he dedicate his life to cultivating lavender?
He didn’t know, and he didn’t bring it up to anyone.
He took Dixie and Jess out to the wishing well, fed goats, and ate dinner with everyone out at the farm, getting no closer to an answer. Joel never brought it up again, but the idea of quitting his EMT job and moving out to the second farmhouse plagued Drew while he was awake and asleep.
As July dawned, he begged out of dinner one evening and went to his brother’s house. He found Adam in the kitchen, pulling a frozen pizza from the oven. “That smells good. Got enough for two?”