I skewered a marshmallow and warmed it over the fire. I wanted it to be a perfect golden brown.
I looked over my shoulder. We’d set the graham crackers broken in half on a cookie tray and set the chocolate bars on half of them. Although now little evidence remained that chocolate had ever been there. “Sam! Stop eating the chocolate!”
All three guys were guiltily licking their fingers, but you can’t get after guys you barely know, so Sam got the brunt of my yelling.
“It’s taking too long to make these things,” he said.
I grabbed the bag of chocolate bars and moved it to the other side of me.
“Hey, your marshmallow’s on fire,” Joe said.
“Dadgum it!” I pulled it close and blew on it. It was charred, and gravity was drawing the melting ooze toward the floor. I dropped it on a graham cracker, snatched a chocolate bar out of the bag, unwrapped it, broke it in half, and placed it on top of the marshmallow, then a cracker on top.
The three guys were waiting to see who I’d favor with the s’mores. And since Sam had Allie and Ian had Leah…well, I had no choice. I held it out to Joe.
He grinned, took the offering, and promptly wolfed it down. “Thanks, but try not to burn the next one.”
I scowled at him. He laughed.
“It’s gonna be a long night,” I said.
It was a long night. The lights went out again, but we were prepared with the candles already lit and flashlights nearby.
We were also all stuffed with s’mores. I thought if I never saw another marshmallow for the rest of my life, it would be too soon.
“Well, this sucks,” Sam said, sitting on the floor, his back against the couch. “I wonder how the game ended.”
“Someone won, someone lost,” I said.
“Very funny, Kate.” He glanced over at Aunt Sue who was reading a book in the recliner, using a tiny flashlight. “You’re not going to try to walk home tonight, are you?”
Looking up, she peered out the glass doors. “Probably not.”
“You can sleep with me,” I offered. “I’ve got the king-size bed.”
“Thanks, Katie.”
“It’ll be like old times,” I said. When I was little, I’d always sleep with Aunt Sue when I came to visit her.
Aunt Sue smiled. “Do you remember that time—”
“Aunt Sue, before you say something that will probably embarrass me, can we skip the walk down memory lane?”
“If you insist.”
“There will be great skiing tomorrow,” Ian said.
“Since Brad moved out and we have the extra bed downstairs, I told Ian he could stay. I hope that’s okay,” Leah said.
“That’s cool,” Sam said.
“He can sleep on the couch, Joe, if you want—” Leah began.
“I’m cool on the couch.”
Leah smiled like Joe had handed her a ring. I guess she wanted Ian as close as she could have him.
“How long have you lived here, Ian?” Aunt Sue asked.
“Three years.”
“Do you miss your family?” Allie asked.
“A little, but I love living here. America has the most beautiful girls.” He gave Leah a look that said she was one of them.
“I always thought Australian girls were beautiful,” Sam said.
Allie slapped his arm.
“Hey!” He rubbed his arm. “What was that for?”
“You’re not supposed to notice beautiful girls.”
“I was doing the noticing before you.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Allie always seemed like the quietest of our group, but I had a feeling that Sam wasn’t going to get away with a whole heck of a lot.
I felt Joe’s gaze on me and I looked over at him. I think he was thinking the same thing. That Allie was sweet, but she also knew her own mind.
“I think I’m going to turn in,” Aunt Sue said. “Good skiing tomorrow means I’ll be busy in the morning. Goodnight, everyone.”
Her departure practically started a stampede: the downstairs group headed downstairs, leaving me and Joe sitting in front of the fireplace, watching the fire burn. I thought about saying that I should go to bed, too, but I wasn’t tired.
The lights came back on and Joe popped up. “I’m going to turn them all off.”
We left the candles burning. The scent was familiar. I remembered it from that first morning when I’d done meditation with Aunt Sue. I was pretty sure it was midnight passion.
Figured. She probably hadn’t really gone to bed, either. Come to think of it, she took her book with her. Meddlesome matchmaker.
Joe sat back down on the floor. Raised a knee, draped his wrist over it, looked at the fire.
“Well, I guess when the storm is over and Ian goes back to wherever he lives, you’ll finally get to sleep in a bed,” I said.
“I like the couch.”
“How can you like sleeping on the couch?”
He angled his head slightly so he could see me better. “I just do. I can watch TV, raid the kitchen.”
“You raid the kitchen?”
“Sometimes.”
Of course, he could still watch TV and raid the kitchen if he was sleeping in a bed. It wasn’t like where he slept made either off-limits.
I thought about what had almost happened in the pantry, how he’d almost kissed me. Part of me wanted to say, “Hey, remember what we were doing before Sam spoiled the party? You can finish now.”
But part of me thought that maybe I should leave well enough alone. I’d practically thrown myself at Brad. I didn’t want to do that with Joe.
I mean, sure, he’d expressed some interest and maybe he had wanted to kiss me earlier, but he didn’t seem to want to kiss me now. I drew my legs up, wrapped my arms around them, planted my chin on my knees, and stared at the fire.
I really wanted to go out on the deck for some heavy thinking. But the wind was still howling and the snow still flying.
“You ever been in love?” I asked.
“Been in like plenty of times.”
I peered over at him.
“Never in love,” he admitted.
“Same here. I wonder how you know when you’re in love.”
“You just know.”
I chuckled. There were those two little words—just know. But for some reason, they didn’t irritate me.
“I’ve got something for you,” Joe said quietly.
And I thought here it is, here comes the kiss. But I was wrong. I watched him stretch out and grab his duffle bag that he kept beside the recliner. Poor guy didn’t even have a place to keep his clothes. How much more hospitable could my brother and I be?
“There’s some empty drawers in the dresser in my bedroom,” I said. “Why don’t you put your things in there tomorrow?”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“It’s no big deal. You’re using that bathroom to get ready in the morning. Might as well hang your stuff in my closet, too.”
“Okay.”
He unzipped a side pouch, removed a bag that I recognized, the bag he’d been holding the first day at A Novel Place. He pulled out a bookmark and handed it to me.
It was clear, a tiny purple and white flower pressed inside.
“I saw that and thought that since you like to read, maybe you’d like to have it. Then I chickened out of giving it to you, because I thought that since you like to read, you probably have a hundred bookmarks—”
“No,” I said, cutting him off, thinking how sweet he was. “I don’t have any bookmarks. I’m always using whatever scrap of paper is handy when I stop reading. This is beautiful. Thank you.” I rose up on my knees, leaned toward him, and kissed him briefly on the lips. “I have to go to bed now.”
I got up, clutching the bookmark to my chest like it was an entire bouquet of roses. “Thanks, again.”
I hurried into my bedroom. Just as I’d surmised, Aunt Sue was sitting up in bed reading.
“Thought you were tired,” I sa
id. “Thought you were going to bed.”
“Changed my mind.”
I went to the nightstand, picked up my book, took out the grocery receipt that I was using to mark my place, and slipped the beautiful bookmark inside. Then I went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. When I came out, the lights were turned off.
I climbed into bed and lay there staring into the darkness.
“Aunt Sue?” I finally whispered.
“Yes, hon?”
“How many times have you been in love?”
“Just once.”
“How did you know?”
“I just knew.”
Great. What kind of answer was that from an experienced person?
“Were you scared?”
“Terrified.”
Wonderful. Because the feelings I was starting to have for Joe were certainly bordering on terrifying. Definitely stronger than what I’d felt for Brad. Almost overwhelming.
“Sweet dreams,” Aunt Sue said.
Yeah, right. To dream, you had to sleep.
I had a feeling thoughts of Joe were going to keep me awake the rest of the night.
Chapter 18
“We have to stop meeting like this.”
These were Aunt Sue’s words to me as I came into A Novel Place just as the sun was starting to show itself. Even as I took a stool at the counter, she placed my mug of morning mint chocolate in front of me—already warmed, like she’d been expecting me.
The paper was spread out before her. But this morning she was working on a crossword puzzle, not reading ads.
The week had progressed nicely. I hardly ever thought about Brad anymore, mostly because I never saw him. I was spending more time on the slopes with Joe. Our relationship hadn’t moved beyond friendship, but something there always seemed to be waiting. I couldn’t explain it.
Since the night of the storm, it seemed like I was seeing less of my friends. Leah was busy with her private lessons and Ian. I think the private lessons had been moved off the slopes to his apartment. She seldom had supper with us. Allie and Sam were always hanging out together at the Avalanche or a movie or who knew where. I’d tried spending my evenings with Aunt Sue, but I always started to feel guilty that we’d abandoned Joe, so eventually I would invite him over.
I mean, Law and Order reruns can only entertain you for so long.
He and Aunt Sue got along really well. We’d play poker, usually Texas Hold’em. I was always the first to lose all my chips. Aunt Sue and Joe would duke it out. Some nights one would take the pot, some nights the other would. The Kate-have-a-good-time fund had dwindled down to pennies.
The night before, Joe and I had finished searching every nook, cranny, shelf, wall, and door of the bookstore for Michael. We’d thought about giving it one more shot but patience wasn’t my strong suit. So I’d decided this morning was the morning that I got the answer from Aunt Sue.
“Tell me about Michael,” I demanded. “Joe said there’s a picture of him hanging in the store. Which one is it?”
“Now, Kate, where’s the fun in telling you? Besides, if I tell you, what will you and Joe do in the afternoons after you come down off the slopes?”
“We’ll think of something. Come on. Tell me.”
“But I like seeing you and Joe together.”
I knew it. She’d probably never been serious about anyone named Michael. She was simply playing matchmaker.
“We’ve been skiing together,” I assured her. “And we played poker at your place last night.”
She peered at me. “Joe and I played poker. Your chips were gone in fifteen minutes.”
“So I don’t have a poker face.”
“No, you don’t. You never did. I can always tell exactly what you’re thinking, and I think everyone else can, too.”
“Everyone except Brad,” I stated.
She gave me a pointed look.
I held up my hand. “I’m totally over him, so I don’t need you playing matchmaker. Now where is Michael’s photo?”
“It’s in my office.”
I stared at her, unable to believe that she’d given in so easily. “In your office? You told Joe that it was hanging on a wall in the store.”
“My office is in the store.”
“Not really.”
I hopped off the stool, started toward the end of the counter, stopped, and gazed back at her. She was standing there, just watching me.
“Is it okay if I look?” I asked.
“Sure.”
I thought about calling Joe. I had my cell phone in the zippered pocket of my jacket, but for some reason I didn’t want to share this moment. All these years and Aunt Sue had never told me about this guy.
I went around the counter and through the door that led into her office. Even though I’d been there a hundred times before, I’d forgotten that there were like a thousand pictures on the walls. Okay, not a thousand, but at least two dozen.
These were different from the ones in the main area of the store, though.
These were pictures of Aunt Sue with my mom. Aunt Sue with me. Aunt Sue with Sam. Aunt Sue with both of us. Aunt Sue with my grandparents. Aunt Sue with…
Oh, my gosh. This had to be Michael. Aunt Sue was young. And so was he.
She was nestled up against his side. Both of them with broad smiles on their faces. In ski jackets with the mountains in the background. Here. At Snow Angel Valley.
I heard a quiet sound. I turned to find Aunt Sue standing there, looking at the picture that I was looking at. A wistful expression on her face. And I knew.
“He’s dead, isn’t he?” I said quietly. “That’s the reason you didn’t marry him.”
She nodded.
“How?” I asked.
“We were college seniors. We came here for winter break. With some friends. He and another guy decided to be adventuresome, do some off-trail skiing. There was an avalanche.”
“I’m so sorry, Aunt Sue—”
“It was a long time ago, Kate.”
“Still, I’m sorry, and I’m sorry that I insisted you tell me about him. That I didn’t respect your right to have your secrets.”
She moved up and put her arm around me. “He was never a secret, but sometimes it’s hard to tell people about him.”
“How could you stay here?”
“How could I leave? Do you know, Katie, that on cold winter nights I can still hear his laughter coming down off the mountains? We loved it here. He once told me that he didn’t want to die while sitting in front of the TV. He wanted a life of adventure. He wanted to go to novel places.”
A Novel Place.
“Is that the reason you travel the world?” I asked.
“I travel the world because there is so much to see, so much to experience. And because I don’t want to die sitting in front of a TV, either.”
I hugged her tightly. “I love you, Aunt Sue.”
“I love you, too, sweetie.”
She wiped the tear from my cheek. “No tears now, Katie. I’ve had other guys in my life, just none like Michael. The important thing is for you to go out and enjoy life. Get cozy with a ski instructor or Sam’s friend. Don’t wait for life to tap you on the shoulder. Go out and tap it.”
Tap life on the shoulder. Aunt Sue made it sound so easy. I didn’t think I was doing a terrible job of it. Okay, I had hid out for a while and moped about Brad. But I was over that. I was making progress. Today I wanted to go to the top of Devil’s Peak and shout at the top of my lungs.
When we arrived at the ski resort, we did our usual pairing: Leah off to take her private lessons, Allie and Sam off to do their thing, Joe and I to take the ski lift to the slopes.
It was a long journey to the top.
“You’re awfully quiet this morning,” he finally said. “You okay?”
Was I? I thought so. I was amazed, though, that he always seemed so good at reading me. I suppose I shouldn’t have been, no poker face and all that, but still he seemed to better than mo
st.
“Just distracted,” I admitted.
“Anything I can help you with?”
I looked over at him. At his serious eyes. The way he was studying me with true concern.
Joe and I were friends. Which I was beginning to think was the only thing I was going to find this winter break. Friendship.
Not a bad thing, I guessed. Unless you’re hankering for more.
“I found out about Michael,” I said quietly. I took a deep breath. “He was killed in an avalanche. Right here at Snow Angel Valley. When Aunt Sue was really young.”
“Geez. Total bummer.”
“I know. I feel badly that I insisted she tell me, even though she says she’s okay with it.”
“Kate, you shouldn’t feel bad. She must have wanted you to know or she never would have brought him up to begin with. I mean, she was the one who first mentioned him, right?”
I nodded.
“So she was ready to tell you about him.”
“I guess so.” I couldn’t even begin to imagine Brad trying to console me like that.
“I can’t believe your aunt never found anyone else.”
How typical of a guy to think love was just about moving on. I’d read somewhere once that when a man lost his wife, he looked for a replacement. When a woman lost her husband, she looked for love again. It was that whole men are from Mars thing. They just so don’t get it.
“I don’t think she wanted to find a replacement for him.”
He grimaced. “I didn’t mean to sound insensitive. I just mean she’s totally cool. I would have thought any number of guys would have been interested in her.”
“She’s dated a lot. I’ve even met some of the guys. And she always seemed to have a good time with them. But I guess she wants more than that in marriage. I don’t know. I guess for it to really work, the intensity of the feelings have to go both ways, you know?”
It seemed like at that minute he was trying to search deep into my soul.
“Yeah, I know.” He looked forward. “Get ready.”
I hadn’t realized that we’d already arrived at the drop-off point. Even though it seemed like I’d done this a hundred times, I always felt this little adrenaline rush when I shoved myself off the seat and landed on the small slope leading away from lift. I had to be quick so the chair didn’t knock me down and I had to get out of the way so the next person in line could disembark.