I was simply majorly embarrassed that Joe had witnessed my humiliation, and it had occurred to me during my mad dash over to Aunt Sue’s that Sam might know what was going on as well. The last person, other than Joe, I wanted to know the affairs of my heart.
“Focus, Kate,” Aunt Sue commanded in a soft, singsong voice. “Feel the air filling and expanding your lungs. Now, release…release…release…”
That was how meditation worked. You concentrated on your breathing, focused all your energy there—
“There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place…” Aunt Sue’s voice trailed off.
Once your focus was pinpointed on your breathing, you began running your own personal mantra through your head. Something that guided you, brought pleasant memories. Something that would take you to the next state of being. For Aunt Sue, it was The Wizard of Oz. Go figure.
That morning, mine was something that would bring me a great deal of satisfaction: Break a leg. Break a leg. Break a leg.
I was directing it toward Cynthia, which really isn’t how meditation works. It’s not like voodoo or something, where you try to throw a curse on someone, and, okay, it was a mean thought that I didn’t really want to come true. And it wasn’t exactly releasing negative energy….
“I can’t think of anything, Aunt Sue,” I finally said.
“Then use mine.”
Only I couldn’t. I didn’t want images of the good witch of the north who looked too much like Cynthia or a crazy wizard who could be my brother. Or perfect Dorothy holding perfect Toto. I bet Brad wouldn’t have forgotten her name.
I opened my eyes and stretched out on the floor, inhaled the sweet fragrance of the candles burning around us. Aunt Sue didn’t go with plain candle scents like vanilla or cinnamon. I was breathing in moonlight mist and secret garden and midnight passion.
I was breathing in a spicy and tangy scent. Brad.
No, it wasn’t Brad. It was Joe. Last night when we were sitting together on the couch. He didn’t smell at all like Brad. Lemony was a better description. Lemony with his hair mussed and his feet bare. And the way he smiled whenever he looked at me. Not a big hey-am-I-a-stud-or-what smile like Brad gave me, but more of a I-like-looking-at-you smile. Like the smile was a gift to me or something. My presence was a gift to him.
Where did that thought come from?
“I see you finally relaxed,” Aunt Sue said.
She had her arms lifted high over her head and was stretching at the waist from side to side. For a woman with gray hair, she was awfully limber.
“Not really. I was just thinking.” I shrugged, which was a strange feeling with my back on the floor. “Nothing important.”
“Everything’s important.”
I knew Aunt Sue dated. Over the years, she’d introduced me to several guys. They were always good-looking and fun. She never took her trips alone, but I never had a sense that she was totally serious about any of the guys.
“Why didn’t you ever get married?” I asked.
“I almost did once,” she said. A dreamy expression came over her face. “Loved him something fierce.”
“So why didn’t you marry him?”
“It just wasn’t meant to be.”
She rose to her feet, and I sat up. “You can’t just leave it like that without giving me a real answer.”
“Sure I can.” She laughed and walked into the kitchen. A bar with stools separated it from the living room, so I could still see and hear her clearly. “Besides, the history of my love life isn’t going to help you figure out yours. And isn’t that the reason you’re here this morning?”
“I’m here because we always meditate together,” I lied.
“When you’re staying with me, sure. But you’re not going to traipse over here every morning, are you?”
Didn’t anyone want me around?
“Would it bother you if I did?”
“Of course not. But I figured you’d want to spend time with your friends. Isn’t that the reason you brought them?”
Without answering her, I got up and walked over to the bar and sat on a stool. I watched as Aunt Sue prepared her morning shake. She put all kinds of healthy stuff in it. Whey protein, fruit…
“I thought I’d help you in the bookstore today.”
She turned away from the blender and gave me a pointed stare. “That’s what you thought, huh?”
“Yeah.” I scrunched up my face. I knew what her expression meant. Honesty time. “I don’t want to see Brad with Cynthia.”
“So you’re going to hide away?”
“Just today.”
“Mmm-uh,” she said, like she could see through my lie, and knew I was considering never again returning to the slopes. “I think you’re making a big mistake, but it’s your life.”
She pushed the button on the blender, the buzzing stopping us from talking further. Which was fine by me.
I didn’t have anything else to say, anyway.
Chapter 7
Allie and Leah were totally bummed when I called to tell them that Aunt Sue needed help in her shop, so I was going to forego skiing. I tried to make it sound like I was making some great sacrifice for Aunt Sue, instead of what was really going on. I simply couldn’t stand the thought of seeing Brad with Cynthia, or Joe looking at me like he thought I was a total loser for not hiding my feelings any better than I did.
“But what about Operation Hook-Brad-Up-With-Kate?” Leah asked.
“Please tell me that you’re in your bedroom where the guys can’t hear you.” Using my cell phone, I’d called her cell phone, so as far as I knew, she was sitting at the breakfast table surrounded by everyone.
“I’m outside making a snow girl for our snowman. He was getting lonely. Allie’s helping me.”
“And the guys?”
“Following the rules, cleaning the kitchen. You missed a scrumptious breakfast. Did you know Allie knows how to make omelets? The guys were majorly impressed.”
So was I. “I had no idea. I had breakfast with Aunt Sue.” The energy shake. An omelet sure sounded good, though.
“Okay, great, we won’t worry about you eating, but what about Operation—”
“Not today, Leah. Aunt Sue really needs me to help her, and I figure it’s the least I can do since she’s letting us use the condo.” I looked behind me to make sure my jeans hadn’t caught on fire yet from all the lying.
“Well, we should help, too, then.”
“No, she just needs one person. Not too much room behind the counter. We’d just get in each other’s way.”
“Are you sure? I feel guilty going to the slopes without you. Allie’s nodding. She feels guilty, too.”
“Look, I’ve skied before, so I don’t need lessons. Y’all take the class today and learn the basics. Tomorrow we’ll be able to ski on the slopes together.”
“I guess you’re right. Besides, you don’t need to hook up with a ski instructor, since Brad is here. As for me, I may need more than one day of lessons.”
“You won’t. It just takes a few hours to learn the basics. Trust me.”
“We’ll see. Oops! Sam just came out on the deck to give us the we’re-leaving-right-now signal, so we’ve gotta run. But I promise Allie and I will stop by the shop this afternoon for some hot chocolate, after we leave the slopes.”
“Sounds like a plan. Y’all have fun.”
I closed my cell phone and took a deep breath. I figured a day to regain my equilibrium was all I needed. A day to completely sever my one-sided bond with Brad. Tomorrow I would definitely go to the slopes, and I’d find that stud of a ski instructor. Lessons or no, I’d find him.
Unlike Leah and Allie, who were planning to grab hot chocolate after a day of skiing, a lot of people wanted the hot chocolate swirling through their system before they headed for the slopes. So for a while that morning, it was a madhouse, and I was rethinking my plan to avoid the guys.
My feet started to ache as I w
orked behind the counter, mixing one mug of hot chocolate after another. Fifty varieties arranged in alphabetical order. Most I never touched. Plain old chocolate, dark chocolate, or white chocolate were the most requested. And of course, I periodically fixed myself some mint chocolate, my absolute favorite.
Once things slowed down, I browsed through the bookstore looking for a good read. I always found some sort of treasure whenever I looked through the shelves. Aunt Sue was a voracious reader, so she and I always spent a lot of time over our winter breaks reading and discussing books. Or at least we had in the past. With Allie and Leah here, not to mention Sam and his friends, I didn’t know how much time I’d have for actual reading. Especially if I did find a ski instructor.
“We just got in a new one from the Fingerprints series,” Paige said.
I looked over my shoulder at Aunt Sue’s assistant manager, Paige Turner. She swore that was her real name, but I didn’t believe her. I mean honestly, what were the odds of someone with a name like that working in a bookstore?
“Thanks.” I took the paperback book she was offering me.
“I think Sue lives for these winter breaks when you come to see her,” Paige said. She had blonde hair that reminded me of Cynthia’s, but her attitude was so different. Plus she talked and breathed like a normal person. I couldn’t help but like Paige. She wasn’t that much older than me, having gone straight from high school to the bookstore a few years back. Or at least that was her story. I had another theory on how she’d ended up here.
“I’m sure someone who has scaled Mount Everest lives for spending time with me,” I said, smiling.
“Hey, she really does. You’re her favorite niece.”
I laughed. “I’m her only niece.”
“Well, then, aren’t you special?”
I felt my smile grow. It was one of the reasons I loved being there: I always ended up feeling good about myself. “Why, yes, I am.”
“So why are you hanging around here instead of on the slopes with a cute ski instructor?”
“What is it with everyone trying to set me up with a ski instructor?” I asked.
Her blue eyes widened. “I didn’t know everyone was.”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“I guess because they’re usually a lot of fun. Some of us are getting together at the lodge tonight. You and your friends should join us. I’ll even take the time to point out the available instructors to you.”
“Thanks. I’ll let my friends know.”
“Be sure you bring that cutie who was with your brother yesterday.”
“Hate to disappoint you, but I think he’s already hooked up with someone permanently.”
“Bummer! That happened fast.”
“Yeah.” It sure did.
She shook her head in wonder. “She who hesitates, I guess. I should have made my move yesterday.”
Great. She liked Brad, too. Still, I couldn’t dislike her because of it. She wasn’t at all like Cynthia. If I told her I had interest in a guy, she’d back off. I didn’t think Cynthia knew the meaning of the phrase.
“What about Sam’s other friend? The one with the dark hair?” Paige asked.
I stared at her, trying to decipher her meaning. “Wait a minute. When you said to bring the cutie…weren’t you talking about the one with the dark hair?”
“Heck, no. I was talking about the blond. What was his name? Jim? Jack?”
“Joe.”
She flashed a smile that would do a game-show hostess proud. “Right. Joe. Is he the one who’s no longer available?”
“Uh, no. Brad is the one.”
“Well, that’s great!” She wiggled her brows and patted my shoulder. “Be sure and bring Joe. We’ll swap: friend for ski instructor.”
That sounded fair. Even though I didn’t know how Joe might feel about it. Still, I found myself nodding. “Okay.”
“I can’t wait!” Paige said.
“Me, either.”
Paige went back to placing the new shipment of books on the shelves. So she preferred Joe over Brad.
Wasn’t that interesting? It looked like all the guys were going to end up matched with someone. Well, all except for Sam. I truly couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to purposely hook up with my irritating brother.
By mid-afternoon, I was almost ready to admit that Aunt Sue had been right. Working in the shop wasn’t nearly as much fun as playing on the slopes. Mainly because once everyone had their morning hot chocolate fix, they were off to the mountains, leaving me curled up on one of the love seats in front of the fireplace, toasting my toes while periodically looking up from the book I was reading to stare at the snow-covered mountains and wondering what was happening on them.
Had Allie and Leah finished their ski lessons? Had they flirted with an instructor? Had Cynthia broken a leg? Had Brad? Either scenario might be satisfying.
Or I could simply not care. Could stop thinking about them. Why invest my energy in even wondering what Brad was doing? He didn’t know who I was. So I’d just forget who he was.
It sounded like a plan. I spent my afternoon retreat working on not thinking about Brad. Not caring. Envisioning the satisfaction I’d feel when I deleted his picture from my computer’s wallpaper list.
By late afternoon, I was totally over him. It wasn’t going to bother me to see him with Cynthia. I’d moved beyond him.
Looking out the window, I saw a group of people trudging up the boardwalk, bundled in ski jackets, and I figured they were going to be stopping by for some hot chocolate. We usually had an afternoon rush as people began leaving the slopes, heading home for the day. I set aside my book and went behind the counter to await their arrival.
And I found myself wishing that I’d looked at them a little more closely as they’d approached. Then I would have realized that sneaking out the back door was the way to go, because when they came inside, laughing and happy, Brad’s arm slung around Cynthia, I realized that I hadn’t gotten over Brad.
I wasn’t even close to getting over him.
Chapter 8
“Hey, Kate, we missed you,” Leah said, as she sat on a stool at the counter.
“We were so busy today, I hardly had time to think. I don’t know what Aunt Sue would have done if I hadn’t been here to help out. It was chaos.” I was babbling. “What can I get you guys?” Another lie, maybe?
Everyone lined up on the stools at the counter: Cynthia, Brad, Sam, Allie, Leah, Joe.
I really felt like the odd one out, standing on the other side. My own fault entirely. Avoidance. You can’t be part of the crowd if you’re not with the crowd.
Cynthia ordered Guilty Pleasure—why was I not surprised? Everyone else just wanted plain old hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows sprinkled on top. I decided to fix myself another mug of mint chocolate, just so I would feel like I was part of the group.
“Hey, gang, how’d it go?” Aunt Sue asked as she stepped out of her back office. She spent a good deal of time in there working up her supply orders and going over spreadsheets on her computer.
Everyone started talking at once.
“Awesome!” Allie.
“The cutest ski instructor.” Leah.
“Went down Devil’s Peak.” Sam.
“Such fun!” Cynthia.
“He was so incredibly hot.” Leah again about the ski instructor.
“What a rush!” Brad.
But I didn’t think he was referring to the ski instructor. Like I said, everyone was talking at once.
Aunt Sue was laughing. Joe wasn’t saying anything, just sipping on his hot chocolate, watching me, like he was patiently waiting for the moment when I reached across the counter, wrapped my hands around Cynthia’s throat, and strangled her.
“I have some good news to share,” I said when the exclamations died down. “Paige invited us to a party at the lodge tonight.”
My announcement received another set of exclamations.
“Awesome!”
“Wh
at’s the lodge?”
“A hangout.”
“Totally cool!”
“Oh, gosh, I absolutely adore parties. I need to get home so I can start getting ready.” Cynthia’s announcement caused silence to fall as she slid off the stool.
“I’ll go with you,” Brad said.
Could he get any more pathetic? I watched him traipse out the door after her like a dog trailing after a bone.
“You managed to beat the crowd,” Aunt Sue told the others. She laid a hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you take a break before it gets really busy in here? I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I directed the others to grab their mugs and join me near the fire. Only Allie and Leah took me up on the offer, which was cool. I was only being polite when I invited the remaining guys. I didn’t really want them there, because I knew Allie and Leah wouldn’t tell me as much if we had an audience. So it was okay by me that they stayed at the counter and talked with Aunt Sue.
“How was it really?” I asked after we sat down.
“Totally awesome,” Allie said. “I thought my heart was going to stop when I watched Sam go down Devil’s Peak. But he is such a great skier. Not at all afraid.”
Devil’s Peak was one of the trails designated for the more advanced skiers. The trail started above the tree line. The tree line marks the spot where the altitude is so high that trees don’t grow there. It’s great for skiing. The Devil’s Peak trail eventually narrows down once it reaches the tree line, but until then, skiers have room to maneuver and an unobstructed view.
“You watched him?” I asked, surprised anyone would want to. I mean, this was my brother we were talking about here. Not some hottie hunk.
“I ended up there because we went on the ski lift together. I’d never been on a ski lift before so he offered to show me how it works. My heart was pounding so hard when I realized that the lift kept moving and that we were supposed to get off it by skiing. I don’t think I could have done it if he hadn’t held my arm. After he skied down the slope, he took the lift back up and we rode it down together.”