“You know, you make a lousy Dr. Phil.”
She laughed again. “Maybe because I believe we should always listen to our own hearts, and not other people’s brains.”
“He’d be with me right now, if it wasn’t for Cyn,” I mumbled. “I just know it.”
“Kate, you deserve a guy who’ll be with you even if sin—and I’m spelling that S-I-N—is around.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I was thinking she should spell her name exactly like that.”
“Yeah, I heard you at the pizza place.”
“I think Joe did, too.” Then I remembered. “We’re going to a movie tomorrow night. Did you want to go with us?”
“You don’t need a third wheel on your date.”
“It’s not a date. I asked him and he confirmed that it wasn’t a date.”
Shaking her head, she gave me a look that said she thought I was really out of it. “Katie, you don’t ask a guy if it’s a date.”
“Then how would I know?”
“You just know.”
“Just know? I’m starting to hate those two little words. Joe uses them all the time.” And here I was thinking about Joe again.
“I really like Joe. That was nice of him to help out this afternoon,” Aunt Sue said. “And speak of the devil.”
With a bright smile, Joe sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of us. I was pretty sure that he was here to make me pay the dance I owed him.
“How’s the chowder?” he asked.
“Really tasty.” I tapped the bottom of the bowl with my spoon. “But it’s all gone. I might have to get some more. Want some?”
“No, thanks.” He turned his attention to Sue. “How ’bout you, Sue?”
“No more for me.” She patted her stomach. “I’m watching my weight.”
“Great! Wanna dance?”
Aunt Sue laughed. “Are you sure I’m the one you want to ask?”
“Absolutely.”
With another laugh, Aunt Sue handed me her bowl, stood, and held out her hand. “Then let’s go, Casanova.”
I watched them walk toward the dance area, and it occurred to me that was pretty much what I’d been doing all night: watching people walk to the dance area, watching people laugh, talk, dance.
I shifted around on the couch to get a better look at the dance floor, and there was Brad and Cynthia. I hadn’t been aware that they’d arrived, but there was no missing them now. They were dancing so close and so provocatively that I thought they might get arrested for lewd behavior or something.
I turned back around, set the bowls on the table, and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold in the hurt. I had to let Brad go. Just had to.
If I wanted any chance at all of finding love while I was on winter break, I had to completely get over the guy.
Chapter 12
A Brad-ectomy.
That’s what I needed.
Without anyone noticing, I left the party and trudged home. After changing into some thick fleece warm-ups, I grabbed the quilt off my bed, made myself a mug of hot chocolate, and curled up in a chair on the redwood deck, the quilt wrapped around me, both hands around the mug, with a mist of steaming chocolate tickling my face.
Our condo looked out over nothing and everything. No houses before me, only trees and hills that grew into mountains. I hadn’t turned on any lights, and the houses on either side of me didn’t have any on—Cynthia, I knew, was still at the party. Maybe the other neighbors were as well. So it was really dark and quiet. The sky was black and vast, filled with a thousand stars. It was so peaceful and calm.
I breathed it all in: the warmth of chocolate, the scent of trees, the cold of snow. You wouldn’t think snow would have a smell, but it does. A pristine crispness in the air.
I took deep breath after deep breath, centering my being, occasionally sipping on chocolate. I started mentally listing all the reasons that I wanted Brad to notice me. The reasons I wanted him for a boyfriend.
He was hot.
I tapped my fingernail against the porcelain mug. Tap. Tap. Tap.
He had a killer smile.
He was nice.
Tap.
You don’t know that for sure, Kate, a little voice echoed in my head. I mean, really, what had he done that was nice?
He never talked to me, not really, not like Joe did. He didn’t hang around Aunt Sue’s bookstore or ask me to go with him to a movie or throw snow at me. He didn’t dance with my aunt.
Course, he wasn’t dancing with Cynthia, either. What they were doing on the dance floor could hardly be classified as dancing. They’d just been holding each other close like they were trying to keep warm.
Don’t think about it, Kate, I chastised myself.
Continuing with the Brad-ectomy, I focused on what I really and truly liked about him.
He was hot.
I tapped my mug, sipped my chocolate, tapped my mug.
There had to be something else. I couldn’t be this bummed out over a guy not noticing me if he was nothing more than good looks. I wasn’t that shallow. Or at least I didn’t think I was.
I heard a noise on the stairs and nearly dropped my hot chocolate in my lap.
“Hey, it’s just me.”
Joe. My breathing slowed, but my heart was still thudding.
“I was knocking on the front door—”
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
“Not a problem. I thought you were probably back here.”
He came up onto the deck and sat in the chair beside mine.
“Why’d you think that?” I asked.
“No reason.”
“You must have had a reason.”
He shrugged. “Just seemed like the type of place I’d go if I was hurting.”
“I’m not hurting,” I snapped.
“It’s okay, Kate.”
“I’m not hurting,” I repeated, more irritated with him than imaginable. “I just did a Brad-ectomy, if you must know.”
He chuckled. “A what?”
“I exorcised him. I have no further interest in him whatsoever.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” Let’s move on to another subject. “Aren’t you cold just wearing a leather jacket?”
“You asked me that earlier.”
“So? I’m asking again. The later it gets, the colder it gets, so I thought maybe you’re starting to get cold now.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to get there. Don’t suppose you’d share the blanket.”
“Nope. I’ve got it all warm and cozy inside. Besides, there’s not room for the two of us in this chair.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“Joe, look, you’re right. I came here because I wanted to be alone, to just think, so I’m not very good company right now. I don’t want to share my blanket—”
“How ’bout your hot chocolate?”
The guy sounded pathetic. I thought I could actually hear his teeth starting to clatter, and I could definitely see his breath on the air. I rolled my eyes. “Sure.”
He took my mug and took a swallow. “Just what I needed.”
“You can go inside,” I told him. “Turn on the fire, watch TV. You don’t have to keep me company.”
“I’ve got nothing else to do.”
We sat there in comfortable silence for several minutes. Then I peered over at him. “You know Aunt Sue is too old for you.”
He laughed, a deep rumble that echoed over the deck. “I don’t think she’ll ever be old. She has so much energy and so many great stories. I could talk to her all night.”
“So why didn’t you?” I asked. Even though I really wasn’t interested in him as boyfriend material, I think I still wanted him to say that he’d left because of me, because he’d noticed I was gone, because he wanted to be with me. Selfish I know, but there you have it.
“She got a little down after we were talking about Michael and left the party.”
I sat up straighter. ?
??Michael? Who’s Michael?”
“The guy she almost married.”
“She told you his name?”
He looked at me like I’d gone crazy. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t she?”
“This morning was the first time I ever heard about him, and she wouldn’t tell me anything.” Aunt Sue and I were going to have to have a serious sit-down. “Why did she tell you?”
He shrugged again. “Maybe she likes me.”
“Did she tell you why she didn’t marry him?”
“No, but she did say that his picture’s hanging somewhere in her store.”
I perked up a little more at that. “I’ll break her down in the morning.”
“Are you going to work in the shop again?”
“No, but I’ll go see her before I head to the slopes. Maybe I can convince her to show me then.”
“Maybe.”
But he said it like he didn’t think I would.
“She was just being her old mysterious self today,” I told him. “She’ll tell me everything tomorrow.”
“If you say so.” He stretched out his long legs. “The water in that hot tub sure looks inviting. Have you ever sat in it?”
“No, I’m only ever here in winter. It’s too cold to use it then. I don’t know why it’s not drained. Can you imagine trying to get from the tub into the house while you’re wet? You’d turn into a popsicle on the way.”
“Might be worth giving it a try. Can you imagine what it would feel like if everything was warm except for your head?”
“It would be weird.”
“You think?”
I heard a high-pitched laugh, followed by deeper laughter. Suddenly the lights from Cynthia’s condo poured onto her back deck, illuminating her and Brad as they stepped outside. She released an irritating squeal.
“Oh, it’s cold!” she cried.
“Well, duh!” I muttered.
She was wearing a bathing suit. And Brad was…was he in his boxers?
She pranced across the deck, laughing all the way, until she slid into the hot tub. Brad followed her, raised up on his toes.
“Ah, man!” he yelled, just before he got in the tub.
More laughter, giggling, then silence as they started kissing.
“Don’t look at them,” Joe ordered.
“It’s a little hard not to, if I’m talking to you. They’re right in my line of sight.”
“Then close your eyes.”
Instead I rolled them. “They don’t bother me.”
“Good. Because I’ve been thinking about something for most of the night.”
I focused on his face, trying really hard not to see past him to where Brad and Cynthia were acting like kids. Yeah, that was it. Kids. Totally immature. Laughing, kissing…
“What were you thinking?” I asked.
“Thought I’d make a deposit into the Kate-have-a-good-time fund.”
I laughed lightly, appreciating that he was trying to make me feel better. “How much? Five? Ten?”
He shook his head. “Ah, Kate. Like I told you earlier, I’m strapped for cash. I’m talking trade.”
He put his hand on the back of my neck, and I had this crazy thought that his fingers should have felt like ice, but they didn’t. They were warm.
He pulled me toward him as he leaned nearer, then his lips were on mine and I wasn’t thinking at all.
Chapter 13
There are some things in life that you simply expect.
Like when it snows, you’ll get cold, and when you’re at the beach, you’ll get wet, hot, and sandy. You expect to get gifts at Christmas and presents for your birthday. You expect the sun to come up in the morning and the moon to come out at night. You expect your brother to get on your nerves and your best friends to stick up for you.
You expect life to throw some disappointments at you. You hope it’ll throw a few surprises your way.
Joe’s kiss was a surprise. Totally, absolutely.
Not so much that he was kissing me. I think in the furthest, farthest corner of my mind, I suspected that he might really like me. That I was the girl he was interested in, the one he’d asked to the movies, even though he’d said it wasn’t a date.
So the fact that he was kissing me wasn’t that much of a surprise.
What was a surprise was how very good he was at it. At moving his mouth over mine until I wasn’t thinking about anything or anyone. I’d been kissed before. I wasn’t a complete novice at dating, but Joe took kissing to a whole new level. It was hot and intense, and I imagined the snow around us was probably melting.
And that was fine with me, because I was melting, too, melting right into his arms.
Through the passionate haze, I heard distant voices—not Brad and Cynthia—and a door slam shut.
Joe must have heard it, too, because he pulled back. All I could do was stare at his shadowy face and wonder what he was thinking. If the kiss had been as overwhelming for him as it was for me.
Light suddenly surrounded us as someone inside hit a switch in the living room, and I was vaguely aware of the back door being slid open.
“Hey, what are you guys doing out here?” Leah asked.
“Counting stars,” Joe said.
I was certainly seeing stars. I was downright dizzy. And breathless. My lips were tingling.
“Is the party over?” I asked, stupidly.
“Yeah.” Leah stepped out onto the deck and gazed off in the direction of Cynthia’s condo. “Are they in the hot tub?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s insane. It’s freezing out here.”
No, it wasn’t. I was quite warm, as a matter of fact.
“Joe was thinking about getting in ours,” I said, inanely, anything to deflect attention away from the fact that I might be swaying.
Leah stared at Joe. “Are you nuts?”
“Thought it might be interesting.”
How could he sound so normal? Like the kiss hadn’t affected him at all? Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe, like my crush on Brad, it was all one-sided.
“What might be interesting?” Sam said, as he and Allie stepped outside.
“Joe was thinking about getting in the hot tub,” Leah said.
“Hey, I’m game if everyone else is,” Sam said.
“I didn’t bring a bathing suit,” I said.
“So? Underwear works just as well.”
Like I wanted my brother to see me in my undies. Or that I wanted to see him for that matter.
“It’s too cold,” I said.
“Ah, Kate, you’re no fun.”
We heard laughter coming from Cynthia’s back deck.
Sam looked across the way. “Now, Cyn, she’s fun. I bet she never sits on the deck bundled up in a quilt.”
Disgusted with my brother, I got up, the quilt still draped around me, my legs shaky. How could they be shaky when I’d been sitting?
“I’m going to bed,” I announced.
“You know, Sam, you can be a real jerk sometimes,” I heard Joe say once I was inside.
I was halfway across the living room before Allie caught up with me. “Why didn’t you tell us you were leaving the party? We spent half an hour looking for you.”
“I didn’t get a chance to introduce you to Ian. I really wanted you to meet him,” Leah said, coming up to stand beside Allie.
I shrugged. “I just needed to get away for a while.”
“You must have seen Brad and Cynthia dancing,” Leah said.
“Yeah.”
The guys were coming in, too, and I so didn’t want my brother to hear any of this.
“I’m going to bed,” I repeated. I leaned closer to my best friends. “And Operation Hook-Brad-Up-With-Kate?” Holding the quilt close with one hand, I sliced the other through the air. “It officially ended tonight.”
“Are you sure?” Leah asked. “Because I think—”
“I’m sure.”
“We’ll find you a ski instructor tomorrow,” she promised.
/> Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joe standing there, watching me, listening.
“Definitely,” I said. “Tomorrow Operation Ski Instructor for Kate begins. ’Night.”
I walked to my bedroom and closed the door. Getting ready for bed, I could hear the TV on in the living room, and whispered goodnights.
When I finally crawled into bed, I lay there staring at the ceiling, thinking about Joe’s kiss. Something for the Kate-have-a-good-time fund.
Kate had definitely had a good time. So good, in fact, that I was slightly terrified. After my experience with Brad, I wasn’t sure I could trust my judgment when it came to guys. But I did know one thing.
Joe was just as I’d surmised earlier: dangerous.
“So why would you tell Joe your boyfriend’s name and not me?”
Aunt Sue was standing behind her counter at the shop, her morning mug of hot chocolate in one hand, The Daily Tribune spread before her. Over her reading glasses, she peered at me like I should have known the answer to the question. “Gave you something to talk about, didn’t it?”
“You told Joe and not me so we’d have something to talk about?”
“That wasn’t the original plan, but it just came to me last night at the party.”
“So you’re playing matchmaker now?”
She smiled mischievously. “No, Kate. I simply gave you something to talk about.”
“You know, we do okay on our own.”
Boy was that ever an understatement.
“That’s good.” She went back to reading about the specials at the U-Sack-’Em.
“Did Joe happen to mention me last night while you were dancing?”
“Nope.”
I tried not to acknowledge the disappointment by sipping on my own hot chocolate. I guess she took pity on me, because she said, “He talked about you after we danced.”
“What did he say?”
“That’s between me and him.”
“When did you get to be so contrary? You used to tell me everything. And now I find out that you were in love with some guy and you’re playing matchmaker and you’re keeping conversations secret. You’re no fun anymore.”
“Because I’m getting old.”
The thing I’d learned about older people was that they really no longer cared about impressing others. It made it difficult to bait them or to get your way with them.