CHAPTER XIX
LE GAIRE FORCES A DECISION
He left the room reluctantly enough, pausing at the door to glance back,but she had sunk down into the rocker, and made no relenting sign. Everysense of right compelled me to withdraw; I could not remain, a hiddenspy, to listen to her conversation with Le Gaire. My heart leaped withexultation, with sudden faith that possibly her memory of me might lieback of this sudden distrust, this determination for freedom. Yet thispossibility alone rendered impossible my lingering here to overhear whatshould pass between them in confidence. Interested as I was personally Ipossessed no excuse to remain; every claim of duty was elsewhere. I hadalready learned General Johnston was not present, and that an attack wasprojected against our left and centre. This was news of sufficientimportance to be reported at headquarters without delay. To be sure thewithdrawal of troops from this end of the Confederate line made our ownreturn trip less dangerous, still, even if I ventured to remain longer,I must early despatch a courier with the news.
I drew silently back from the window, flinging one limb over the balconyrail, preparing to drop to the ground below. Her back was toward me, andshe heard nothing; then a man came round the end of the house, walkingslowly and smoking. I could see the red glow of his cigar, and inhalethe fragrance of the tobacco. I hung on desperately, bending my bodyalong the rail, and he passed directly beneath, yet so shadowed I couldmerely distinguish his outline. The fellow--an officer, no doubt,seeking a breath of fresh air--strolled to the opposite corner, and thenturned off into the orchard. I dared not risk an attempt to drop andrun, for I knew not what might await me in the darkness. Yet where Iclung I was exposed to discovery, and, when he turned his back, I sankdown once more within the shelter of the balcony. He stopped under thetrees, apparently having found a seat of some kind, although I could seenothing except the tip of the burning cigar, as he flipped aside theashes. I had almost forgotten what might be occurring within, untilaroused by the sound of Le Gaire's voice.
He certainly looked a handsome fellow, standing there with hand still onthe knob of the door, dressed in a new uniform tailored to perfection,his lips and eyes smiling pleasantly, never suspecting the reason forwhich he was summoned.
"What is it, Billie?" he asked easily. "A last word, hey?"
"Yes," she answered, lifting her eyes to his face, but not advancing."I--I have been thinking it all over while waiting here alone, and--andI find I am not quite ready. I sent for you to ask release from mypromise, or, at least, that you will not insist upon our--our marriageto-night."
The man's dark face actually grew white, his surprise at this requestleaving him gasping for breath, as he stared at her.
"Why, good God, girl, do you realize what you are saying?" he exclaimed,all self-control gone. "Why, we are ready now; Bradshaw just arrived andevery arrangement has been made for our journey. It cannot bepostponed."
"Oh, yes, indeed, it can," and she rose, facing him. "Surely you wouldnot force me against my will, Captain Le Gaire? I do not desire torebel, to absolutely refuse, but I hope you will listen to me, and thenact the part of a gentleman. I presume you desire me for your wife, notyour slave."
I thought he had lost his voice he was so long in answering; then thetones were hoarse, indistinct.
"Listen! Yes! I want you to explain; only don't expect too much fromme."
She looked directly at him, her cheeks flushing to the insolence of hisaccent.
"I am hardly likely to err in that way any more," rather coldly, "but Ido owe you an explanation. I have done wrong to permit this affair to goso far without protest, but I did not comprehend my own feelings clearlyuntil to-night. I merely drifted without realizing the danger, and nowthe shock of discovery leaves me almost helpless. I realize distinctlyonly one thing--I can not, I will not, marry you.
"Do these words seem cruel, unjust?" she went on, strangely calm."Perhaps they are, yet it is surely better for me to speak them now thanto wreck both our lives by remaining silent longer. You came to me ayear ago, Captain Le Gaire, at a time when I was particularly lonely,and susceptible to kindness. You were an officer in the army, fightingfor a cause I loved, and your friendly attentions were very welcome. Myfather liked you, and we were constantly thrown together. I have livedrather a secluded life, here on this plantation since my school days,meeting few men of my own station, and still young enough to beromantic. I thought I loved you, and perhaps the feeling I cherishedmight have truly become love had you always remained the sameconsiderate gentleman I first believed you to be. Instead, little bylittle, I have been driven away, hurt by your coarseness, your lack ofchivalry, until now, when it comes to the supreme test, I find my soulin revolt. Am I altogether to blame?"
I do not think he comprehended, grasped the truth she sought to convey,for he broke forth angrily:
"Very pretty, indeed! And do you think I will ever stand for it? Why, Ishould be the laughing stock of the army, a butt for every brainlessjoker in the camp. I am not such a fool, my girl." He stepped forward,grasping her hands, and holding them in spite of her slight effort tobreak away. "I am a frank-spoken man, yes, but I have never failed totreat you with respect."
"You may call it that, but you have repeatedly sworn in my presence,have ordered me harshly about, have even arranged this affair withoutfirst consulting me. If this be your manner before marriage, what brandof brutality could I expect after?"
"Poof! I may be quick-tempered; perhaps we are neither of us angels, butyou choose a poor time for a quarrel. Come, Billie, let's kiss and makeup. What! Still angry? Surely you are not in earnest?"
"But I am--very much in earnest."
"You mean to throw me down? Now at the last moment, with all the fellowswaiting in the next room?"
She had her hands freed, and with them held behind her, stood motionlessfacing him.
"Would you marry me against my wish?" she asked. "Would you hold me to apromise I regret having made? I sent for you merely to tell you thetruth, to throw myself on your generosity. I am scarcely more than agirl, Captain Le Gaire, and acknowledge I have done wrong, have beendeceived in my own feelings. You have my word--the word of a Hardy--andwe keep our pledges. I suppose I must marry you if you insist, but Iimplore you as a man of honor, a Southern gentleman, to release me."
Her voice faltered, and Le Gaire laughed.
"Oh, I begin to see how the wind blows. You do stand to your promisethen. Very well, that's all I ask."
"I do not love you; I do not think I even respect you."
"Nevertheless you cannot shake me off like that. It's only a whim, amood, Billie; once married I'll teach you the lesson over again. Youwere loving enough a month ago."
"I was in the midst of a girl's dream," she said slowly, "from which Ihave awakened--won't you release me, Captain Le Gaire?"
"I should say not," walking savagely across the room. "Come, Billie, I'mtired of this tantrum. A little of this sort of thing goes a long waywith me. You're a headstrong, spoiled girl, and I've already put up withenough to try the patience of Job. Now I'm going to show my authority,insist on my rights. You've promised to marry me, now, to-night, and youare going to do it, if I have to go to your father and tell him plainlyjust what is the matter with you."
"With me! the only matter is that I have ceased to care for you."
"Yes, in the last week! Do you think I am blind? Do you suppose I don'tknow what has changed your mind so suddenly? Do you imagine I'm goingto let you go for the sake of a damned Yankee?"
She fairly gasped in surprise, her fingers clinched, her cheeks flaming.
"A Yankee! Captain Le Gaire, are you crazy?"
"No," his temper bursting all control. "That's what's the matter withyou. Oh, of course, you'll deny, and pretend to be horrified. I saw intoyour little game then, but I kept still; now you are carrying ittoo far."
"What do you mean? I am not accustomed to such language."
"I mean this: You think you are in love with that sneaking Yankee spy--Idon't kno
w his name--the fellow you helped through our lines, and thenhid at Moran's. Now don't deny it; I asked some questions before I leftthere, and you were with him out under the grape arbor. I saw theimprint of your feet in the soft dirt. By God, I believe you knew hestruck me, and permitted me to lie there while he got away."
"Captain Le Gaire--"
"Now you wait; this is my turn to talk. You thought you had fooled me,but you had not. Under other conditions I might accede to your request,but not now--not to give you over to a Yank. I've got your promise, andI propose to hold you to it."
"But it is not that," she protested. "I--I am not in love withLieutenant Galesworth."
"So that is the fellow's name, is it--Galesworth," sneeringly. "Ithought you pretended before you did not know."
She remained silent, confused.
"I'm glad to know who he is; some day we may have a settlement. Well,all I know about the affair is this, but that's enough--you rode withhim all one night, hid him all the next day, and then helped him escape.You lied to me repeatedly, and now you want to break away from me at thelast minute. It's either this Galesworth or somebody else--now whois it?"
Billie sank back into a chair, but with her eyes still on the man'sface.
"It is no--one," she said wearily. "It is not that at all; I--I simplydo not care for you in that way any longer."
"Poof! do you mean you won't keep your word?"
"I mean I want to be released--at least a postponement until I can besure of myself."
"And I refuse--refuse, do you understand that? You either marry meto-night or I go to your father with the whole story. He'll be pleasedto learn of your affair with a Yankee spy, no doubt, and of how youhelped the fellow through our lines. And I've got the proofs too. Now,young lady, it is about time to stop this quarrel, and come down tofacts. What are you going to do?"
"You insist?"
"Of course I do."
Her head sank upon her hand, and even from where I peered in upon them,helpless to get away, equally helpless to aid, I could see herform tremble.
"Then there is no escape, I suppose; I must keep my promise."
He touched her on the shoulder, indifferent to her shrinking away, asarcastic smile on his lips.
"I knew you would. I don't take this Yankee business seriously, only Iwanted you to know I understood all about it. You're too sensible a girlto get tangled up that way. We'll drop it now, and I'll show you howgood I can be. May I kiss you?"
"I--I would rather not--not yet. Don't be angry, but I--I am not myself.Where were you going?"
"To tell your father it is all settled. You must be ready when we comeback."
He paused with hand on the door looking back at her. There was amoment's breathless silence; then her lips whispered:
"Yes."
I turned to look out into the black orchard, and then gazed back intothe lighted room. I knew not what to do, how to act. My remaining whereI was could be of no possible service to her, indeed my discovery therewould only add to her embarrassment, yet I had no reason to believe theofficer had left his seat yonder, and therefore dare not drop to theground. My heart ached for the girl, and I longed to get my hands onthat cur of a Le Gaire, yet might venture to approach neither. It was amaddening situation, but I could only stand there in the dark, grippingthe rail, unable to decide my duty. Perhaps she did love me--in spite ofthat vigorous denial, perhaps she did--and the very possibility made theblood surge hot through my veins. Could I help her in any way? Whateverher feeling toward me might be, there remained no question as to hergrowing dislike for Le Gaire. Not fear, but a peculiar sense of honoralone, held her to her pledge. And could I remain still, and permit herto be thus ruthlessly sacrificed? Would Major Hardy permit it if heknew?--if the entire situation was explained to him? Le Gaire neverwould tell him the truth, but would laugh off the whole affair as a merelovers' quarrel. Could I venture to thrust myself in? If I did, would itbe of any use? It would cost me my liberty, and the liberty of my men;probably I should not be believed. And would she ever forgive me forlistening? I struggled with the temptation--swayed by duty and bylove--until my heart throbbed in bewilderment. Then it was too late.Fate, tired of hesitancy, took the cards out of my hands.
Billie had been sitting, her head bowed on the table, the light aboveglistening on her hair. Suddenly she arose to her feet, her face whiteand drawn, her hands extended in a gesture of disgust. Attracted by theopen window, and the black vista of night beyond, she stepped throughonto the balcony, and stood there, leaning against the rail.