Chapter 13
Kalil
“Get ‘em out of here, clean this shit up.” I don’t speak to anyone in particular, but Bruce moves first. “You should probably relocate, don’t let me see you again,” I say to Cam before hitting him in his face with the bat. I think he passes out. It’s probably good that Mak walked in. A little more and we’d be getting rid of bodies instead of cleaning up blood. Didn’t want her to see that though. She’s already starting to ask questions I can’t answer. I go in the bathroom and clean my hands. My shirt has blood on it. I change clothes then head out to the bar to find Mak. I couldn’t read her facial expression. It was completely blank. Jaida threw me off. She actually seemed more shocked than Mak did. I can see them now. Jaida’s talking to Donte. Mak is sitting next to them staring at the stage, slightly frowning. I follow her eyes. Dynasty is dancing. I almost smile. I thought she was done with Dynasty. When I get to her I grab her hand and lead her to the door. I don’t feel like yelling to talk. Jaida follows her. Donte follows Jaida.
Donte tells Jaida, “We’ll meet y’all there.”
“You mean after you go clean their nasty ass blood off of you?”
She’s heated. I expected this type of reaction from Mak. She’s still quiet. The car is parked right in front of the club as if they didn’t come to stay long. I stop beside it and look at her. When I open my mouth to speak she kisses me. I’m confused. She should be mad, not kissing me. She pulls away and holds my face in her hands. Her eyes are closed. I don’t hear Donte and Jaida anymore. I look up and see them by his car. When I look down again she’s staring at me. She tells me she gets it. I try to talk, but she covers my mouth with her thumbs.
“I wasn’t supposed to see that, Cari tried to stop me. I called you twice and sent you a text. I just wanted to tell you we’re going out. Jay wants to go check out your other club.”
I think I left my phone in the truck. This explains why they’re all dressed up, but not why her dress is so damn short and tight. It looks like it’s been painted on her. I’m not sure I’m in a position to protest that though.
“I know why you feel like you needed to go after them. I really do get it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like or condone it.”
She moves her thumbs, but now I don’t know what to say. She kisses me again.
“We’ll be at the club.”
She backs away from me and gets in the car. She blows the horn and Jaida makes her way over to us. I know I should be saying something right now, but nothing comes out.
“She’s fine. Meet us at the club,” Jaida says before getting in the car.
I watch as they drive away then go over to Donte’s car. He asks if I’m riding with him. I tell him yeah and we leave.
When we make it to the club I send Mak a text asking where she is. She doesn’t respond. It’ll be hard to find her. The club has three levels. The first level plays only Salsa music. The second is an R & B and Hip-Hop lounge. The third is Reggaeton. Mak loves music, so she could honestly be on any of the levels. Jaida would most likely have her stay on level two. That’s where we head. It’s not hard to spot them once we get there. They’re in the far right corner surrounded by guys. No surprise there. I contemplate going over to them and decide to just watch instead. Mak is killing her dress. She’s barely dancing and her ass is jiggling all over the place. Two guys try to dance with her and she pushes them both away before grabbing Jaida’s hand and moving to a different spot on the dance floor. Guys actually follow them. Who does that? She dances with Jaida, teasing the guys who followed them. One of them comes up behind Jaida. Mak pushes him away then pulls Jaida to the bar. She leans over the bar to order a drink and her dress rises up, just short of showing her goods. She looks back and says something to Jaida, who laughs then stands behind her. They both turn their attention to a group of guys standing a few feet away from them. Some of them have their hands up. I guess they’re protesting Jaida blocking their view. Mak sticks her middle finger up at them then turns back to the bartender. He gives her a bottle of water and a mixed drink. She gives the drink to Jaida and takes a few sips from the bottle of water. I’m slightly bothered by the fact that she’s not old enough, but they’re serving her alcohol anyway. Does looking good really make it that easy? DJ Khaled comes on. The song is called “I’m on One.” Mak loves this song. She’s smiling as she makes her way back on the dance floor and a barmaid comes up to her. She leans to her ear and says something as she points to one of the VIP sections. Mak doesn’t even look at them. Just takes the drink and passes it to Jaida. About ten minutes later it happens again. Different section, different guy. She passes it to Jaida without acknowledging whoever bought it. I smile as I wonder how many guys have sent her drinks tonight. A slow song is playing now. I guess I should stop being a stalker and go talk to her. She’s dancing by herself with her back to us, so Jaida’s the only one who sees us. As we get closer to them a guy approaches Mak, puts his hands on her hips and leans down to whisper in her ear. I’m heated. She grabs his hands and leans away from him. Instead of letting her go his hands slide around her ass and pull her back to him. Jaida grabs Mak’s hand and tries to pull her away as she says something to them both. It must have been something about us because Mak looks back. I can’t hear her, but I can read her lips. She tells me to stop. Sure. She shakes her head as if irritated by me and turns back to the guy. He’s actually still holding on to her. She slaps him then brings her right knee up to his groin. It looks painful. He doubles over in pain and Jaida throws her drink in his face before pushing him away. She can deny it all she wants, but my baby’s a little thug. I smile as she turns back to me.
“I told you to stop, you don’t listen.”
She doesn’t give me a chance to respond. She grabs my hand and starts going towards the stairs. Another barmaid comes up to us.
She says, “Hey Kalil,” then turns to Mak and says, “Shot of Patron courtesy of the gentleman in the black in the far left VIP area.”
Top shelf, huh? My baby’s a dime. She says thanks as she takes the shot and gives it to me, but I put it back on the serving tray. “Tell him I said she’s good.” She’s mad that I didn’t tell her the club had a Reggaeton level. She wants to dance, but says she’s not dressed for it so I’ll have to be her bodyguard. She finds an empty spot; literally makes me stand there with my arms folded across my chest. When she starts dancing I see why. Mak dancing to Reggaeton is almost as ridiculous as her dancing on a pole. She puts her whole body into it. Shakes and gyrates everything to the rhythm of the music. Even with me standing here, she’s drawing a lot of attention, but they keep their distance once they realize who I am. I don’t plan on fighting anymore tonight so I pull her to me.
She kisses me and says, “You’re in the doghouse, but I’m still going home with you. They’re just looking.”
She turns her back to me, pushes her ass against me and keeps dancing. I didn’t know I was in the doghouse. If that’s the case then she should probably stop dancing like this. She smiles when I tell her this then takes my hand and leads me back down the stairs. I think she’s going to the second level, but she goes to the first. Mak can dance to Salsa music. Is there any dancing she can’t do? A guy actually comes over to me and asks if I mind if he dances with her. I frown at him. Either he’s joking or he’s stupid.
He smiles and says, “Just dancing, she’s very good. You have nothing to worry about, you’re more of my type than she is.”
I have no problems with gay guys, whatever floats their boats, but he’s a little too close for comfort. I tell him yeah, just to get him away from me. He goes to Mak and holds his hand out to her. She looks back at me as if asking if it’s okay. The guy leans forward and says something to her. She smiles at me then gives him her hand. Two songs later, I’m not so sure this guy is actually gay. Just when I’m about to get up and go to them another guy approaches them. He says something to Mak, passes her a card and she laughs before giving them both hugs. They hold h
ands as they walk away and she comes over to me and smiles.
“I got his number for you.”
Hilarious.
Riley’s funeral is today. I wake up in bed alone. Once I’m up and moving I go downstairs to find Mak. I don’t see her. I call her name, but there’s no answer. After checking the garage to see if the cars are all there I go to the backyard. She’s doing a handstand and slowly moving her legs back and forth like scissors. She’s wearing her headphones so she doesn’t hear me come out. I sit on the porch steps and watch as she lowers herself back to her feet. Her eyes are closed. She bends over and hugs her legs then does a few flips. They’re not really flips, too slow. I guess they would be called walk-overs. I’ll ask her later. I think she’s stretching. She lies on her back and rolls herself into a ball before rocking back and forth. I wonder how long she’s been out here. She sits up, then bends over and grabs her feet while keeping her legs straight. When she lets them go she spreads her legs into a split and leans forward. She puts her hands on the ground and lies on them like they’re a pillow. She doesn’t move anymore. I get up and go over to her. When she sees me she pulls her headphones off.
“I need to use one of your gyms.”
I can hear the slight crack in her voice. She’s sad. I sit in front of her and ask, “For what?”
“So I can be a trainer.”
I wasn’t expecting this. She doesn’t need to use the gyms. She can just use one of the buildings I don’t use. I’ll surprise her. “How long you been out here?” I stand up and she reaches for my hand.
“About an hour.”
As we go inside she tells me her coach called and he wants her to ride in the limo with his family. She told him no. I want to ask if she’s okay, but that seems like a stupid question. She’s been quiet for the past two days; speaking only if I actually say something to her. Of course she’s not okay. I leave her alone and let her have her space. After I’m done getting dressed I go downstairs.
“I knew you’d look good in a suit.”
I didn’t even know she was down here. I thought she was still in the bathroom. When did she get dressed? Her dress should be considered simple, but nothing on her is simple. It’s black and stops just below her knees. The sleeves stop at her elbows. The collar is shaped like an oval stretching out to her shoulders. She wears a silver necklace with a small diamond pendant. Silver earrings shaped like teardrops encrusted with diamonds are in her ears. Her hair is flawless. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” Understatement, she’s fucking beautiful. I tell her. She smiles at me then gets up and walks to where I am.
“Thank you…you know, other than my dad you’re the only man who’s ever called me beautiful,” she says as she adjusts my tie.
I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but she’s smiling so I’ll go with good. “Because you are.” I hate how sad she looks. If I could take her pain away I would, but I don’t know how. Her eyes are teary, but she doesn’t cry. I wonder how long she’ll hold it in.
“All done.”
When she looks up at me I kiss her. The doorbell rings.
“That’s Jay, let me grab my shoes.”
Jaida doesn’t even speak when I open the door. She just asks where Mak is. “Getting her shoes.”
“How is she?”
“I wish I knew. She’s not talking.” She walks off in search of Mak as Donte comes inside and tells me he’ll drive.
It’s cloudy outside. I wonder if it’ll rain. The funeral is at the grave site. On the ride over Mak tells me that her mom used to tell her if it rains the day of a funeral the person is going to Heaven. She said it didn’t rain the day of her dad’s funeral. She hasn’t said a word to me or anyone else since. The only time she let go of my hand was when I helped carry the casket. Chino, Ralphie, Bruce, and Donte all volunteered to be pallbearers as well. There are two caskets. Donte and I carried the tiny white one.
Mak is wearing dark shades so I can’t tell what she’s looking at. I wonder if she realizes that she’s squeezing my hand. Jaida’s shades aren’t as dark. I can see her watching Mak. The minister asks if anyone would like to say anything. Mak’s coach stands up. I can’t remember his name. Calvin maybe? He stands beside the casket and looks down at Riley. His mouth is open, but nothing comes out. He cries instead. Someone helps him back to his seat and he stops in front of Mak.
“I found this yesterday.”
He’s trying to give her an envelope with her name on it, but she doesn’t move to take it. I’m not even sure if she looks at it. Jaida grabs it for her. Someone with a beautiful voice starts singing “His Eye is on the Sparrow” and I feel Mak squeeze my hand tighter. I think she says no. I look over at her and she’s shaking her head. She says no again, louder this time. Jaida leans to her ear. She’s still shaking her head.
“Stop it! I said no,” she yells.
The singer looks startled. I don’t know the significance of this song. I’ve never even heard Mak play it before.
“Maybe you could sing another song, please,” Jaida says.
She gives a smile and starts a different song. I’ve heard this one before. Smokie Norful, “I Need You Now.” Mak is quiet again. Jaida is whispering something in her ear. She shakes her head up and down and sniffles, but I don’t see any tears. It starts to drizzle just as the funeral ends. We’re under a tent, but Jaida passes me an umbrella. People have started to leave. I think they’re going back to Calvin’s house. I hope that’s his name. Jaida asks Mak if she’s ready to go, but she doesn’t respond. I think she’s staring at the caskets. The caretakers have started to lower them into the ground. The baby’s casket is built to lock in place on top of Riley’s. I’ve never seen that before. Mak starts to get up and I stand with her. I don’t really have a choice; she’s still holding my hand. She has a single white Calla Lily. She said they were Riley’s favorite. She makes her way to the edge of the grave and squats beside it. She tosses the flower in then grabs a handful of the dirt. She tosses it in, too. I’m sure if I ask her why she did it she’ll tell me something her mom used to tell her. Jaida passes her a handkerchief and she uses it to wipe her hand. It’s started to rain harder now, so I adjust the umbrella to make sure she doesn’t get wet. From this angle I can see her eyes. They’re red…when did she cry? She glances up at me then looks away. She looks down into the grave for a few seconds then gets up. I lead her back to the truck and we leave. Jaida gives her the envelope she grabbed for her earlier. She takes it and just stares at it for a little while before finally opening it. I look out the window. It’s started to thunder and I see lightning in the distance. I wonder how I would react if my sister died. I remind myself to call her tonight. I’m pulled away from my thoughts by Mak mumbling something. I look over at her and see tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Why won’t it open!?” she yells as she tries to open the door.
I think she’s hyperventilating, maybe having a panic attack. Once again I feel myself wanting to ask if she’s okay. Stupid.
“Let me out of here, why isn’t it working!”
She’s actually trying to open the door and we’re going 75 mph. “Stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself!” I grab her arms, but she ignores me.
“Why won’t it open!?”
She’s still trying to open the door. I’m not sure why Donte has child locks on, but I’m glad he does.
“Stop the damn car! Kalil, open the door!”
She keeps trying to open the door and rolls the window down. She’s hysterical. I yell for Donte to hurry up and stop and within seconds we’re in a parking lot. Jaida jumps out to open Mak’s door, but she’s not moving fast enough. Mak almost knocks her down when she pushes the door open. She’s yelling as she gets out. It takes me a few seconds to realize she’s yelling at Riley. Whatever Riley wrote, she wanted her to tell her in person. It’s not fair that she never got the chance to meet Patience. She thinks Riley was selfish for leaving her, for not telling her wh
at was going on, and for not letting her help her. They were supposed to take care of each other, look out for each other. She yells that Riley is wrong, that she doesn’t have a little life in her left and she has no strength left. I have no idea what she’s talking about, but apparently whatever Riley wrote in the letter is the source of her anger. When she’s done yelling at Riley she drops to her knees as she rips the letter to shreds. I take my jacket off and wrap it around her shoulders. She leans into me and continues to cry. She asks why Riley left her. I don’t have an answer for her. She says something else, but it’s incoherent. Jaida comes up to us with an umbrella, but we’re already soaked.
“Is she okay?”
At least I’m not the only one with stupid questions.
We go straight home from there. I make Mak take the pain meds she has just so she’ll go to sleep and she’s been knocked out for over four hours. Jaida and Donte are still here. I tell them I’m going to lie down. Jaida insists on them staying here tonight. I don’t care. I just want Mak to be fine. I’m surprised when I walk in the room. She’s awake. She actually smiles at me. I ask if she’s feeling better as I sit on the bed. I’m not sure if that’s a stupid question or not at this point. She shakes her head up and down as she slides up on the pillows.
“I guess I owe you a few explanations,” she says as she pulls me closer to her.
I kiss her forehead and look down at her. “You don’t owe me anything, but I’m curious.”
“When we were younger Riley always acted like she was my mom, telling me what I could and couldn’t do, where I could and couldn’t go, that type of stuff. I hated it, but when I would get sick she would sing to me at night to help me fall asleep…her song was always ‘His Eye is on the Sparrow.’ It’s her song, no one else can sing it.”
That’s understandable. She grabs her phone from the nightstand and goes to the Google website.
She types her name in then says, “I love gymnastics, sometimes it’s so restricted though. I used to beg my mom to let me do freestyle, but she was always worried about me hurting myself if I did it and not being able to compete in regular gymnastics. Riley and coach helped me sneak and do it.” She laughs and shakes her head. “I should’ve picked up on them then, how could I have missed it?” It’s a rhetorical question, so I don’t respond. “My first freestyle competition was when I was 15. You usually do it to an upbeat song since the movements are pretty quick, but as you can see I’m a rebel at heart and I was sad…I wanted my dad to be there. Everything I did was centered on him, but I couldn’t tell him since I wasn’t supposed to be doing it in the first place.” She’s quiet for a while, thinking of her dad. I can’t read her expression. “So when I got there I had 5 people go before me. It was a cash prize competition, more so for street credit, but I was so nervous I psyched myself out.” She chooses a video and says, “Riley saved me.”
She’s standing at the edge of a mat and the crowd is in the background. I don’t recognize the song that’s playing. She’s skinny in this video. Like a completely different person. No ass, no breasts, no thighs, nothing. Her hair is long and pulled back into a ponytail. I still can’t believe she cut all her hair off. She looks scared shitless. I smile as I watch Riley in the background. She looks pissed as she talks to a guy standing by some DJ equipment. Someone starts booing.
Mak laughs and says, “I was such a punk!”
She doesn’t even look up to see who booed her, but I can hear Riley’s voice.
“Shut the fuck up! Boo my sister again and I’m kicking your ass!”
I think Riley might have been a “G.” She runs to the middle of the mat and stands in front of Mak, putting her forehead against hers. Her lips are moving, but I can’t hear her.
“I was the youngest one there, she told me to quit being a lil’ bitch because she had already talked so much shit to the other people that we would have to fight to keep from being embarrassed if I didn’t win.”
She says this and laughs at the memory. In the video she smiles and shakes her head up and down as Maxwell’s “This Woman’s Work” begins to play. My baby is fucking amazing. She’s flipping, jumping, and twisting her body all over the place. She even uses the wall to run up on and flip off of. With some of her flips she stretches her entire body out and makes it look like she’s hovering on thin air. In others it seems like she’s flipping in slow motion, one leg flying thru the air at a time. Some of the things she does seem like they should hurt, but she keeps going. I can feel her leg jumping in the bed beside me. Gymnastics literally flows through her veins. The song seems as though it’s cut short. She does three back flips and on the fourth she does that hovering thing again. I laugh when she lands. She’s sticking her middle fingers up at the crowd.
“They booed me,” she says.
The video ends with Riley running onto the mat and hugging Mak who’s doing her rock star symbols again.
“I got second place.”
“I wanna see you do that for real.”
She smiles and says, “Ever since that day if either of us was sad or scared or mad or just felt like giving up on anything we would play that song for each other or text each other pieces of the lyrics or sing it.” She looks sad again. A single tear drops from her left eye and I wipe it away. “It wasn’t a letter in the envelope, it was the lyrics to that song…at the end she wrote rock stars don’t quit.”
It makes sense now. Thinking of the words to the song makes the things she said earlier make sense. “She’s right, you can’t just quit.”
She doesn’t respond at first, just stares at me. Finally she says, “It’s hard…everything hurts. I’m literally starting from scratch.”
“I’ll help you.”
She smiles again. I love those lips.