She’d moved on.
Hell, maybe she’d always had this guy. Jonah knew she’d lied to them about them being together, but he’d never thought she’d had someone else. She’d touched Jonah and kissed him, and…they’d talked like…Shit. Had she just been playing him all along, just as he’d accused? Maybe she’d even sent Bailey in to make him think she was innocent to really complete the act. Maybe—
He turned away, unable to concoct another scenario. It hurt too much. And besides, it didn’t matter. Because he couldn’t believe the worst of her. Maybe she’d moved on and had someone else now. But she hadn’t when they’d been together.
This was good, he decided. Really. She needed to move on, find someone good for her. She needed to be happy.
It hurt, though. It hurt more than all the physical therapy sessions Frenchie had put him through. It hurt more than any of his bullet wounds or his head wound. In fact, he wasn’t sure if he could survive from this kind of pain.
Stumbling when one of his crutches caught on an uneven piece of ground, he moaned out a sound of pain and kept hurrying away. By the time he made it to his truck, his leg was throbbing.
Pale and trembling, he fell into the driver’s seat and panted, realizing he was probably on the verge of another panic attack.
“Damn it,” he muttered, rubbing circles over his chest where the heart inside his ribcage kept chipping away shattered pieces.
He closed his eyes and rested his skull back against the headrest. He probably sat there for ten minutes before he fumbled for his wallet and yanked out a business card he’d kept for weeks but had yet to use. Hoping it brought about a miracle, he dialed the number and listened to the ring.
“Hey,” a chipper-sounding woman answered almost immediately. “This is Sam.”
He licked his lips. “I need—you said I could call if I needed help.” Exhaling, he realized he was probably making no sense, so he started again. “I mean, this is Jonah Abbott. I—”
“Oh! Of course. I’ve been waiting for you, dear. I’m so glad you finally gave in.”
She sounded relieved. For some reason, that calmed him. Running a hand through his hair, he gave a small smile. “Yeah. Well…” What now?
“Do you need to talk now?” she immediately asked, smoothing out all the awkwardness. “I have some time. But I’m starving. Do you mind if we meet for some pizza? There’s a great pizza parlor on Grant Street.”
Samantha had her light hair pulled up in another perky ponytail when Jonah managed to edge his way into the restaurant. He had a little trouble at the door because it kept wanting to close on his crutches, but once he was inside and hobbling her way, she finally noticed him.
Offering him a big smile, she waved him over before sinking her teeth into a large slice of pepperoni. “Sorry, I couldn’t wait to order. I hope you don’t mind.” She gave him a guilty grin and dabbed at her face with as napkin as he propped his crutches on the wall beside their booth and hopped on one foot before sliding his way into his seat. “Hey, it looks like you’re getting around well on those things.”
“Yeah,” he said, glancing at the food teasing his nostrils.
“Help yourself.” She waved her hand toward the pizza. “And if you don’t like this kind, I’m going to order another one anyway. My boys will kill me if I come home with pizza on my breath and don’t bring them any.”
“This is fine,” he said and hesitantly picked up a piece. “Thanks.” When he took a bite, his gaze met hers, and a strange kind of companionship filled him. He’d only met this woman once, and yet he instantly felt a comfortable easiness around her.
As they ate, she did most of the talking, telling him about her two sons and some of the crazy things they did. A couple things reminded him of his childhood in the trailer park with Sean, and he found himself smiling, despite the heaviness in his chest.
“So…” Sam patted her belly as they polished off all the pizza they were going to eat and the waitress went off to get her a box for the leftovers. “Why don’t you tell me a little bit about…Einstein. Or did you call him Anthony?”
The name made him shudder. Not expecting this question, he shook his head. Why did she want to talk about Einstein? Didn’t she specialize in grief therapy? He sure as hell wasn’t grieving over Einstein.
“I’ve seen you on the news, you know,” she murmured with a hint of sympathy in her brown eyes. “I’ve heard what they’re saying about you. I thought you might like to start there.”
No, he didn’t want to start there. Actually, he didn’t even want to go there. Truth be told, he didn’t want to start anywhere. He’d kind of been hoping maybe she’d just hand over some miracle pill that would numb him to all pain and send him on his way. But, no, the woman wanted to talk.
It figured.
“What do you want me to say?” he croaked, already bracing himself and feeling defensive. “If you saw the news reports then you already know everything, right?”
She laughed softly. “Watching the news only confirmed that there was a lot more going on between you and Einstein than I originally thought.”
The color drained from his face. He wasn’t sure he could talk about this. It’d end up being his word against the freaking media. Why would anyone believe him after what they’d said about him?
Sam sighed. “Let me tell you a little story. My husband died in the line of duty. A drunken parolee had kidnapped his child and ex-girlfriend because he’d lost all his parent privileges. After hours of trying to negotiate with him to come out of the house where he was holding his family at gunpoint, the police finally sent in a SWAT unit. Frank was one of the first officers inside. When the crazy drunk opened fire, he aimed at his own family instead of the police. So…selfless man that my husband was, Frank dived in front of them and shielded them. He saved their lives that day. But not once in all the media coverage over the event did one reporter call him a hero or commend him for saving that woman and little boy. They were too busy degrading the other officers who used an excessive amount of bullets to return fire on the drunk. So, I know exactly how only one portion of the story gets told, or how some details are blown out of proportion, while others are completely neglected.”
“They kept calling me a linebacker,” Jonah muttered, his chest heavy and full with emotion over Sam’s story and how it identified with his own. He wasn’t sure why he said that. There were so many other more important issues. But focusing on that one small thing helped him keep himself under control. “I was never a linebacker. I was a freaking tight end.”
Samantha chuckled. “Yeah. They kept calling Frank Fred, too.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. He was actually more sorry about her loss. But again, it was easier to apologize for the most insignificant detail.
She seemed to understand, though. With a nod and small smile, she reached out and covered his hand. “What else did they get wrong?”
He blew out a breath. Jesus, where to start. “I didn’t give him the gun. I never would’ve done that. I didn’t even realize he knew I had one. And I have no clue where he found bullets for it.”
Warm fingers squeezed around his. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I’ve heard he was a very resourceful young boy. One way or another, he would’ve found something to kill Dorian Wade for what he did to Paige Zukowski. But I’d like to hear more about your relationship with him.”
“You mean the part where I terrorized him?” Jonah bit out, every muscle in his body tensing. That was the part he wanted to talk about the least. His shame and guilt already attacked him enough every day. He didn’t need this woman to do so too.
“Now, Jonah,” she murmured in a soft, scolding voice. “Don’t close up on me like that. I can just see you shutting down. Remember I know how the media plays things. Just tell me your side. That’s all I ask.”
“Why does it matter?” he demanded, scowling.
“Because I can’t help you if I don’t know what really happened.”
“He bu
llied me first,” Jonah finally said. “He hacked into my records and found out everything there was to know about me, and he used it all against me. He knew every grade I made and how to make me feel stupid and worthless. He knew how shitty my home life had been and made me feel awful. And he knew how to do it in the privacy of our dorm room, where no one else would see it. Then he knew how to run out into the hall when I retaliated, making me look like the asshole. Every time I went after him, it was because he’d done something to me first. But who the hell would believe that?…Who—”
He shook his head, feeling lost. Not only had everyone at Grammar Hall thought he’d tormented Einstein, but they’d congratulated him on it, and then followed him, helping him chase down the strange boy and harass him further. No one had once asked him why or what Einstein had done to deserve it.
Until now. Across the table from him, Samantha said, “I believe it. I do believe you, Jonah. I’ve talked to other students from Granton who had contact with him, and I completely believe what you say. Besides, I’ve seen my fair share of bullies over the years, and you are not one of them.”
He shook his head, confused. She really did believe him. He could tell by the sincerity in her expression. But why did she want to help him?
The defensive starch drained from his bones, and almost exhausted from the force of relief he felt, he blurted, “He tried to kill me before. One time, I woke up to him suffocating me with a pillow. And I swear I came into my room when he was putting something into my bottle of Gatorade. But I threw it away because I didn’t trust it.”
“Holy hell,” Sam squawked. “Did you tell anyone?”
Jonah shrugged. “I told my R.A. about the pillow incident, but she told me she didn’t blame him. If I’d quit picking on him maybe he’d leave me alone.”
“And there were other incidents?”
With a nod, Jonah began to tell her everything. And it felt good to let it out. He’d had no idea just talking would make him feel better.
He thought about Tess, and he wondered what would’ve happened if he’d been honest in the hospital, if only he’d told her the truth when he’d regained his memory. Would she have stuck around to remain his friend? If he’d just told her these things he was telling Sam, would she be with that other guy right now?
Chapter Twenty
AFTER HER ARGUMENT WITH BAILEY, Tess wasn’t sure where to go. Finally, she decided to confess what she’d done to Paige. Besides, she needed some advice about what to do next. She was beyond relieved to find Paige’s boyfriend waiting outside Grammar Hall for someone with a key to let him in. She nearly attacked poor Logan because her need for a hug was so great.
Though surprised at first, he finally hugged her back, and then promptly told her he’d take her to Paige. Without any questions.
But Paige was surprisingly unhelpful with her opinions.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I just don’t know. You shouldn’t have told her that way, no, but…” With a meaningful glance at Logan, she smiled softly. “I fully believe not addressing those kinds of issues never solves anything. She should’ve been told a long time ago, and maybe she could’ve gotten over it a long time ago. Now it may take a while for her to deal.”
“But it was her dad who wanted—”
“I know, sweetie.” Paige reached out and grasped Tess’s hands. “I know. But on a totally different note, I’m kind of impressed you stood up to her like that. Bailey has always had this way of bulldozing over you, and you just let her. But, lately, you’ve really been coming into your own.”
Tess didn’t feel too proud over that, though. If standing up for herself caused her to hurt Bailey, she’d just as soon stay the meek, mild Tess she’d always been. She’d grown up with Bailey; she’d known what kind of person she was. And, most of the time, she loved Bailey for being exactly the way she was. It just seemed rude to push that behavior away now.
She needed to right things with her best friend. She made her way to her own room, but Bailey was gone, and the only thing she’d left was a hastily-written note on her unmade bed that said, Went home. Be back later.
Later lasted a week and two days. Bailey missed classes. She didn’t answer any of Tess’s phone messages or texts. She didn’t even respond to Paige’s attempts to reach her. Tess finally called her farm, braced to face the wrath of Mr. Prescott for letting the cat out of the bag about her mom. But, thank goodness, one of Bailey’s brothers instead of her dad answered.
“I’ve never seen her like this,” Brock—or maybe it was Bennett—confessed. “What the hell happened?”
Shocked he didn’t know, Tess told him what information she’d leaked, and he cursed under his breath. “Shit, Tess. This could completely change Bailey as we know her.”
Gulping down a rise of tears, Tess sniffed. “I hope not.” And she meant it from the bottom of her heart. She missed her best friend, the filterless loudmouth best friend she’d known since birth.
Now it felt as if she had two gaping holes in her.
Eight days after Bailey had left, Tess was about to go crazy. Everything just…dragged. When a knock came on her bathroom door, rattling her from a test she was studying for but couldn’t really concentrate on, she was beyond ready for a distraction.
“Yes?”
“Hey,” Paige said a bit too timidly as she poked her head into the room. When Tess saw Logan hovering behind her, she sat up on the bed and smoothed down her shirt to look more presentable.
After clearing the cobwebs from her throat, she asked, “What’s up?”
Paige glanced around, looking toward the other bed. “Is Bailey back yet?”
Tess sighed, sinking further into her doldrums. “No.”
No Bailey.
No Jonah.
She felt completely abandoned.
“Good.” Appearing relieved, Paige stepped fully through the doorway. When Tess’s mouth fell open in outrage, Paige immediately winced and covered her mouth. “I mean, not good that she hasn’t come back yet, but good that I caught you by yourself, because…” With a huffed sigh, she crossed her arms over her chest and sent her boyfriend an arched look. “Logan has something he needs to confess.”
“Oh?” Tess glanced over to find his cheeks had darkened as he smoothed his hand over his hair in a nervous manner. In the past month and a half since the shooting, he’d filled out more, looked healthier, and had stopped wearing his arm sling. It was hard to tell he’d ever been shot.
When he lifted his gaze from the floor and sent her a tense smile, her stomach dropped.
“Is this about Jonah?”
When Logan winced, dread filled Tess’s veins. “Oh, God. Not you guys too.” Had every friend she knew interfered in her life? “What did you do?”
“Nothing bad,” Paige assured her quickly, waving her hands in a placating manner. But then she, too, was wincing. “I mean, not too bad.”
“Why don’t I just explain?” Logan took Paige’s hand as he blew out a long breath. “After you and I had that little talk a month or so ago…” He paused and sent Tess a look as if to make sure she remembered which talk he was referring to.
Since they’d only ever had one, she nodded. “Yeah?”
“Right.” He nodded as well. “Well, after that, I wanted to help somehow. I knew you were worried about him, so I went to the counselor for my grief group. Samantha. She’s helped both Paige and me in the most incredible ways.”
When he glanced at Paige, his girlfriend shifted to his side and looped a supportive arm around his waist. He continued. “So, I thought she might be able to help Jonah as well.”
“And I guess she did,” Paige added. “After our meeting today, Logan and I were helping put the room back in order, and this terribly snoopy guy here came across a stack of files that belonged to Sam. One of them had Jonah’s name on it.”
“Really?” Tess popped to her feet, staring wide-eyed at her friends. “Did you open it?”
Logan and Paige exchanged
glances. Finally, Logan spoke. “I know I shouldn’t have, but you’ve been so sad lately. I just thought…if there was some kind of address inside, you could visit him and, I don’t know, get some closure…or something.”
Closure was the last thing she wanted. But an address that led her to Jonah…that would do nicely. “Oh, my God!” she rushed to Logan and grabbed his hands, unable to stop smiling. “Did you find one?” When he didn’t answer soon enough, she started to tug on her grip. “Please, please, please say you did.”
His face fell. Tess immediately dropped her hands from his and stepped back. “Oh.”
“But I did find this.”
When he pulled a folded sheet a paper from his pocket, Tess narrowed her eyes. “You stole from Jonah’s file? What if that was some kind of important information that could help that Sam lady get him better? What if—”
“It’s a letter addressed to you,” Paige cut in.
When Tess stopped talking and gaped, Logan added. “I saw that it was to you and from Jonah so I took it. But that’s all I read, I swear.”
Tess glanced between the two to see if they were pulling her leg. Finally, she shook her head and focused on Logan. “You stole a letter for me?”
“He did.” Paige bounced on her toes as a grin burst across her face. “Wasn’t that so bad-boy of him? I swear, he just got, like, ten times hotter.”
As Logan sent his girlfriend a heated grin, Tess leapt at him, clamoring for her letter. “Oh, my God, Logan. I love you.”
“Hey, hey.” Paige tugged him away just as Tess gained control of her letter. “That’s my hot bad boy. Go read about your own.”
But Tess was no longer listening to either of them. Her fingers trembled as she unfolded her letter and smoothed out the three creases in it. The heavy masculine scrawl that met her gaze made her heart thump hard in her chest.
“So, uh. I guess we’ll give you some privacy to read that.” Logan was already taking Paige’s hand and backing her from the room.
Tess heard Paige mutter “Good luck” before the door shut between them. Not that she really took much notice. She was too busy reading.