"Pretty much," I say as I nab the container back from him and he lets it go easily. Don't get between the pregnant woman and her ice cream.
"Okay, we'll try it," he concedes, and I'm relieved that I don't hear any hesitation.
It's a gamble whether we can truly maintain this, but I suspect both of us are enjoying each other so much that we are refusing to consider this is probably the dumbest idea two people could ever come up with. I think we're both sticking our heads in the sand at this point.
And as I lie here eating ice cream with Luc after the incredibly beautiful orgasms we gave each other, I realize I'm okay with that for now.
"Jules told me about your idea," Luc says as he reaches across to take the ice cream and spoon from me.
I hesitate before I answer, because this idea of bringing kids and the elderly together is so personal to me that I'm not sure I can handle any critique of it. It was a gamble for me to reach out to Jules, but given her background in geriatric care, I'd at least know she'd understand the appeal of it. With Luc, I don't know if he'll get it. Moreover, I'm afraid he will think it's a bad idea.
I've made some stupid decisions in my life, but I've owned them and I've done so with pride. Because for every mistake I've made, I've learned from it and become stronger. I've made stupid decisions and made mistakes because I've never had the counsel of anyone. I never had parents to depend on, no close friends, and when Hilda died, I didn't have a single person to give me support or help me along the way. I've chosen to look at this as a benefit, because I alone have made myself into the fierce and independent woman I am today. And if I choose to think of my pathetic childhood as a good thing, it makes me feel less lonely.
I smooth the sheet on my lap, thinking it's funny that we're both lying here with the sheet over our naked bodies. Luc's is pooled around his waist, leaving his amazing torso bare, but I've got it pulled up over my breasts. Here we are, having explored each other's bodies intimately, and yet when the sex ends, we put our armor back on--physical armor like this sheet, or figurative armor like the way I am afraid to let anyone in.
"Jules?" Luc says softly, and I blink my eyes to clear my thoughts.
I make a command decision to take a risk and open myself up a little to see what Luc thinks. "Sorry, but yeah...I knew Jules would have some good insight based on her experience."
"Jules will give it to you straight," he says softly, his affection for her evident. She's not even officially his sister-in-law, but I can tell Luc thinks of her like that already.
"And what do you think?" I ask, and then feel like I want to throw up by inviting his opinion. Why does his opinion even matter to me? But dammit, it does. I hold my breath and shake my head as he offers me the ice cream.
Luc pushes the spoon into the top, turns away from me to put the pint on the nightstand, and then turns back to me with a big smile. "I think it's an amazing idea."
"Really?" I ask with a goofy smile on my face.
"Absolutely," he says with so much conviction that I get excited from the possibility. "If you do it, though, how are you going to manage your duties at the museum?"
Ugh. The museum. "Well, I might not have that job much longer."
"What?" Luc exclaims as his eyebrows shoot high.
"My promotion was just an interim position, and it appears due to lack of funding, they're going to delete my original position when they hire a new director of research and acquisitions. So I'm looking for another job that offers health insurance. I've got to make sure I'm stable before I give this idea any attention."
"But wouldn't this idea become your career?"
"Well, I'd make it a nonprofit," I say.
"Nonprofits pay their directors and other employees," Luc points out.
"Yeah, I know," I say wistfully as my gaze drops down to my lap. "But it's just too iffy. I don't think I'd look at doing something like this until I got a steady job first to make sure I could pay my bills. And it would just be like a passion project to get it started, and then someone else could run it."
"But if you could run it, you would?" he asks.
"Run it or just work for it."
"What's the real deal with you getting zoology and geology degrees? And don't tell me it's because you like rocks and minerals."
I lift my head to look at him. His head is tilted at me quizzically.
I could play stupid, but I think Luc knows he's got me figured out on that front, so I tell him the truth. "They were fairly easy degrees and I knew my parents would probably have a cow that I wasn't going to Stanford or something. I did whatever I could to get their attention, even if it was bad attention, and well...that totally got a reaction from them."
"Not a good reaction, I'm guessing."
I smile grimly. "It wasn't well received. But you know, I had absolutely no direction in life. No clue what I wanted to be. I had no role models except for Hilda, and while she took very good care of me and gave me love, I didn't get a lot of guidance about important things like what I could be when I grew up."
"Then I think you should really look into doing this," Luc says as he reaches over and squeezes my thigh. "It's something that's clearly dear to your heart. I can help you do some research on how to get it started."
That simple offer to help do research actually makes my heart swell a little. I've learned enough about Luc to know he's a gallant being, and I almost expected him to offer me money. But he didn't, and that makes me like him all the more, because I think he also knows I'm proud of the way I've taken care of myself since I was old enough to understand the concept of responsibility.
"I'll take your help," I say with a smile, feeling very much okay with my decision to accept what others offer me. "Jules said she'd help with that too and put some feelers out."
"You should come with me Saturday afternoon to a party," Luc throws out. "It's for a teammate's birthday and Jules will be there. We can all bat some ideas around."
I just stare at him, trying to figure out if this invite is different from him wanting to take me out to dinner. He sounds very laid back about it, and it would be nice to talk about the concept with two people who think it's a great idea. It wouldn't be like a date because I'd be hanging out with him and Jules. That would keep this clearly on a friends-with-benefits level, as I'd be strengthening friendships with both of them. Then I could even lie to myself that things were staying casual between us if I accepted his invitation as just a means to toss around some ideas for this project.
"Okay," I say with a bright smile. "I'd love to hang with you and Jules."
"Awesome," Luc says as he twists his torso, reaching across his body to grab me under the jaw. He leans over and gives me a rough kiss before pulling away. "And you can meet my sister, Simone. She'll be there."
"Sister?" I ask in surprise. I knew Luc had one, but didn't know she was here, and now I wonder if this is a setup so his sister can meet me.
"Yeah," he mutters, and I can hear the disdain in his voice. "She showed up on Max's doorstep today and told us she dropped out of school."
My brows draw. "Didn't you tell me she was graduating this year and going to medical school?"
"That was the plan," Luc says acidly. "But Max and I talked to her a bit this afternoon and she's adamant she's not going back, so she'll be here indefinitely. I have no clue what's going on with her, but it looks like she'll be around for a while, so you might as well meet her."
"Have you told her about me? And the baby?"
He shakes his head. "No. I'll just introduce you as a friend of ours."
I breathe out a sigh of relief. I think it's wise Luc is holding off telling his family until we get a little further to ensure everything's okay, but I am dreading the day when people will find out. I'm a private person, and having a child with a single professional athlete can get very messy.
I guess I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get to it, and no sense in worrying too much about it now. Besides, I have enough to worry about gi
ven the fact I'm developing feelings for Luc, and it's wonderful and terrifying all at the same time.
Chapter 9
Lucas
"Stop looking at your watch," Jules mumbles out of the side of her mouth as she leans toward me. "She'll be here."
"Yeah, I know," I say as I glance around at all of the people mingling in Garrett's house. We're celebrating his birthday, which was really last month, but our schedule was such that there wasn't a really good weekend to have the party. So it's being held now, and while I'm still fairly new to the team, I've actually bonded quite well with Garrett. He's so damn easygoing--like Max and me--that like sort of attracts like, I guess.
Stephanie insisted she meet us here, and I'm not dumb enough to miss the fact I'm sure she thinks that makes this less "datelike" in her mind. Which is fine. I respect her boundaries. I think they're going to get blurred and confusing at some point, but I respect them.
On one side of the line, we are nothing more than friends who like to fuck. On the other side, we're going to be co-parenting a child who was not planned. Something tells me that one or the other has to give, and I know it won't be the child side, because that's the most important.
Funny how drastically my life has changed in just three weeks, and while it was a complete and utter shock, I've actually done pretty good in accepting my fate. Kids were always a given with me. I want at least three, and preferably with a wife. I've had such an idyllic life with my family, and I want the same thing for myself.
But it's not happening in the order I thought it would--because the wife would be first--and it's happening a lot sooner than I had planned--by at least five years or so. I just turned twenty-seven, and Stephanie is twenty-eight. I hadn't thought about having kids until I was in my thirties, because I honestly thought that was the prime of life.
Oh well. I am adaptable if anything.
Just then, I see the top of Stephanie's red head walking through the crowd that extends from Garrett's open kitchen into the adjacent living room. The two spaces are massive and can easily hold a hockey team--although not everyone came--and their guests.
She winds in and out and finally I see her face. She locks eyes with me and gives a tentative smile as she nervously tucks her hair behind her ear. That fucking amazing hair that looks good wrapped up in my fist. Just a mass of curls, all wild and untamed. Just like the way Stephy is in bed, and fuck if I don't like that a lot.
"Hey," she says as she walks toward Jules and me, her eyes going back and forth between us.
Max is off with Simone, making some introductory rounds. While he's been a little more accommodating to her feelings about dropping out of school, I've not made any bones about the fact I think it's the dumbest thing she's done or ever will do in her life. Needless to say, she's a little miffed at me right now, but I still want her to meet Stephanie when they come back around.
"Hey," I say as I lift my chin. "Glad you could make it."
It's friendly.
No hugs or kisses on the cheek, which could violate the no-strings-sex boundary, which is sort of fucked up. I can lay her down and suck on her clit until she screams my name, but I can't kiss her hello because that's actually more intimate and makes more of a statement about a relationship.
Totally fucked-up reasoning, but we're both going with it.
"Sorry I'm late," she says as her eyes flit around the kitchen, where we're standing near the food. "Forgot I had to get gas."
"No worries," Jules says. "I'm just glad you came, and I'm excited to talk some more about the nonprofit idea."
"Me too," Stephanie says as she moves closer to Jules, her smile wildly energetic and enthused.
It makes me smile to see her so fired up about something. I hate thinking she's in a career that's just satisfactory to her. I love my fucking career and it's a big part of my happiness. I'd like to see Stephanie have that for herself, not only to compensate for those things she doesn't have but so she can pass on to our kid that anything is possible if you want it bad enough.
"Do you want to get a plate of food and then go find someplace to sit?" I ask, jerking my thumb over my shoulder to the long counter spread with catered food. Garrett decided to go with an eastern North Carolina barbecue spread and I'm starving.
"Sounds good," Jules says as Stephanie nods.
"Dude," I hear from behind me as two large hands come down on my shoulders and squeeze me a few times. As I turn to look, the hands then pat me hard before retreating. My eyes make contact with Cash McCain, who just got called up from the minor leagues this week to fill in on the third line for one of our defenseman who has a hamstring pull. He's twenty-one, energetic, and slightly annoying. I wonder if I acted like that at that age, and if I did, how I ever got laid.
"What's up, man?" I ask as I give him a curt smile.
"This party is off the hook," he says while swinging his arms outward in exaggeration.
I look around and wonder since when did gathering for barbecue and birthday cake constitute "off the hook," but then he answers my question.
"I mean...I always wondered how you partied in the big league, and well...this is so stylish and elegant," he gushes.
My eyes go back to the food. It's in silver serving trays, so I guess that's stylish.
"And whoa, who do we have here?" Cash drawls out as he pulls his chin in and eyes Jules and Stephanie up and down.
Kid's not been here long enough to know Jules, so I make it a point to introduce her properly. "This is Jules, my soon-to-be sister-in-law."
And then the dork of a defenseman actually impresses me a little. He gets super respectful and sticks a hand out to Jules. "Oh wow. Max talks about you all the time. Nice to finally meet you."
This doesn't surprise me. Max does talk about Jules all the time in an annoyingly cute kind of way.
But then Cash gets idiotic again when he pushes his hand out to Stephanie, who I can see by the expression on her face is thoroughly amused.
"I'm Cash McCain," he says in a voice smooth as silk. "And you may be the most beautiful creature I've ever seen."
I try hard not to gag as Jules snorts beside me. Stephanie shakes his hand and even gives a tinkling laugh when Cash brings it up to his lips to kiss her knuckles. I suppress an eye roll because Cash is nowhere near Stephanie's league, plus he's way too young for her to even consider not only in age but in maturity.
"Dude," I mock Cash's earlier words with a hand to his shoulder and squeeze hard enough that he lets Stephanie's hand go. "Your flirting is a little cheesy."
"Oh, I don't know," Stephanie teases with a mischievous smile. "It was pretty good to me."
"Seriously?" I ask her with a cocked eyebrow. "That was good flirting?"
"All flirting's good," Stephanie points out.
"Yeah, no...cheesy flirting is not good," I maintain.
"Dude," Cash interjects. "I'm standing right here while you're ruining my game."
Jules snorts again, and this time, I squeeze down into Cash's shoulder before giving him a "friendly" push away, but I make sure I give him a cordial-enough smile so he knows I'm joking.
Well...half joking.
"Get out of here, kid," I tell him. "You're out of your league."
And because he's a big goofy dork with a pretty good nature, he laughs and points a finger at me. "You're the man, Lucas. Whatever you say, I roll with."
All three of us watch Cash melt into the crowd, and then Jules says, "You see...that's the way I sort of envisioned all professional athletes."
"Young, dumb, and idiotic?" I ask.
Stephanie gives me a light punch on my arm. "Leave him alone. It was cute."
We all laugh and then I turn toward the food, making a sweeping gesture with my hand. "After you, ladies."
With food plates piled high, I lead the way through the crowd to the large outdoor screened-in deck at the back of Garrett's house. There's not as many people out here because it's a little chilly, but he's got two large outdoor heaters ru
nning so it's bearable.
I spot Max and Simone at a table in the corner talking to Hawke and Vale. Hawke and Max are pretty tight and Vale is one of our trainers. They're both cool in my opinion. As we approach the table, Simone's gaze goes right to Stephanie, as I told her I was bringing a friend tonight. She of course thought a "friend" meant something more, and although technically it is more because there are benefits, I assured her this was nothing like that.
Which is thoroughly confusing even to me.
Hawke and Max immediately stand up and offer their chairs to Jules and Stephanie. The women get situated and the men hover behind them in a circular group.
I make introductions. "Simone, this is my friend Stephanie."
They smile at each other and Simone says, "It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise," Stephanie replies.
We all make idle chitchat for a while, but the conversation eventually turns to Stephanie's idea about bringing kids into nursing homes. I think she's a little embarrassed to have such a big crowd discussing this when she thought it would just be Jules and me, but by the smile on her face I know the fact that everyone has been enthusiastic about it means a lot to her.
As I watch her interacting with friends, family, and coworkers at this table, it again amazes me how outgoing Stephanie is. She has a huge personality coupled with such a funny wit, it's hard to believe that is just her exterior shell. It's hard to believe there's a woman underneath who has been so deeply hurt by abandonment that chances are you'll never get closer to her than her fun and engaging personality, which she uses as a brilliantly deceptive shield.
"I need to use the restroom," Stephanie says as she rises from the chair.
"I'll go with you," Simone says, also pushing up from the table.
"Does anyone need anything?" Stephanie asks. After a chorus of nos, the women make their way back into the house.
"You know," Jules says as she looks around the table but lets her gaze rest on me. "Stephanie's got a really good idea, and to my knowledge there is no organization that provides something like that in this area. I hope she runs with this."
"I hope so too," I say, but I leave it at that. Not going to share with them that Stephanie is not only facing a potential job loss soon but she's not going to take a risk on a new endeavor unless she's absolutely prepared to do it on her own. I've learned at least that much about her, that she wants to do this independently outside of some advice we give her. On top of that, I think she might be little overwhelmed with the pregnancy, so her focus is naturally going to be on that.