“Yes, priceless,” my father agrees.
“Yes, definitely,” my mother states, dabbing her tears with a tissue from her purse.
“By the way, what do you want for your graduation present?” my father asks, smiling. I can tell he wants to lighten the heavy conversation. “How about a new car? There are some great models coming out this year. You should see the newest—”
“Dad, I don’t want a new car.”
Then I tell them what I want. I’ve never wanted a gift as much as I want this.
Justin:
I can’t stop thinking about Henry’s wife. Her poor burn-puckered face gives me the chills. What kind of monster would do that to another person? I would never do that to Lucette.
But I was willing to kill us both, a voice says inside of me. Am I anything like Henry?
This thought is tormenting me. Really tormenting me. I watch Lucette as she sleeps. The lady of the house had given her some kind of a tea to help her snooze.
That’ll end when I start haunting her, I say to myself. Except after seeing what I saw earlier, the revenge thing is losing its appeal. I look at a serene Lucette and realize with a pull in my heart that she never slept so soundly with me. She always looked so tormented while asleep.
I sit on the bed next to her and put my face in my hands. Everything is becoming so confused. This being dead business and experiencing things differently really sucks.
“It’s time that you see and feel your whole life,” a voice says.
I jump up, scared out of my wits. No one is around. I tell myself that I must’ve imagined the voice, but then it’s like invisible hands firmly sit me on Lucette’s bed again.
I’m really freaked out! “Who are you?”
“I’m just a messenger.”
“An angel?” I question, gulping.
“No more chit chat. We’ve got important things to do.”
“What do you want with me?” I question, panicking. Why hadn’t Henry told me about this?
“Shut up and just stay still.”
Immediately, scenes of my life start rushing through my head.
“Your life should’ve flashed before you at the car accident, but your single minded obsessions didn’t let it happen, but no one escapes it. Not even you, Justin.”
Chapter 50
Lucette:
I hug my parents tightly just before they leave to the airport. They agree to take care of my graduation present as soon as possible. They’re still a little surprised I’m not running back to their mansion, but they have to get used to me not being the same girl I used to be.
What can I say?—I’m not lucky Lucette anymore. I’m make-my-own-luck Lucette.
I’m not a clueless girl anymore.
I know that my parents still have a really long way before they fully understand my point of view, but I love them, and they love me. That’s what’s important at this moment.
If Justin had really loved me instead of being obsessed with me he wouldn’t have hurt me with abuse like he did. Wonderful love isn’t about jealousy, punches, stalking or even high, razor blade emotions. It’s about wanting the best for one another.
It’s about kindness, compassion, and enjoying one another. It’s about true friendship with some fire.
With Justin and me, it was just fire.
Hot, scorching terrifying fire that destroyed everything in its periphery.
Thinking of Justin fills me with all kinds of emotions. I’m still smarting over everything. How can I not be? Apart from the horror I lived with him, the guy almost kidnapped me, and he died before my own two eyes.
His burial is soon. No, I’m not going. I’ve already said good-bye to him and besides, being with his drunken friends and his jerk dad is not something I want to submit myself to. I’ve let Justin ruin my life enough. No more!
Justin:
Going to your own funeral is pretty strange to say the least. At first I get really pissed that Lucette hadn’t come, but then I remember my life movie the angel had submitted me to and I shudder uncontrollably. It was quite a shocking experience! I saw my whole life flash before me, but the thing is that I also witnessed and felt it from the different angles of the people around me. It was as if I had to experience the stories around me to know my own because we were connected somehow.
Yeah, super bizarre stuff!—I know! How do you think I am after suffering through that? Pretty shaken up!
I could feel-experience many, many things—my mother’s terrifying fear of my father, his swirling blind fury pounding her, my feelings of helplessness while growing up, overwhelming rage growing inside of me and getting bigger by the day, and then . . .
Lovely Lucette.
She feared me sooo much. I can still feel her heart thrashing at the sight of me. When we had first met it had pounded intensely with our romance, but after I started unloading my deep seeded anger on her, her feelings for me turned pitch dark.
I kept telling her how much I loved her. At the same time, my aggressiveness towards her kept multiplying. Those blows I gave her still resonate on my own skin, those tears she cried in the middle of the night where I couldn’t see them still burn into my heart, and that great relief of finally getting away from me pierced my understanding.
How is it that I never considered these things until my life flashed before my eyes? Maybe I’m just not thinking straight. The life review might’ve scrambled my brains. It’s just all so confusing.
That’s why as I sit in my own funeral with all types of emotions whirling inside me, I try to momentarily push away the anger I feel toward Lucette for not having come. Even though my first instinct is to be really, really pissed off, I decide to keep calm until I can sort out all that’s happening to me.
Scanning the funeral home, I find the place is nearly empty. I’m in the back, so all I can see are a few heads here and there—not a lot of people came. To tell you the truth, I didn’t have a lot of friends but the few I did have are sitting behind my parents in the front pews. Good ole friends!
I decide to get my bravery up and check myself out in the casket. Even though I can magically appear there with the nifty travelling trick Henry showed me, I walk slowly there to give myself time to prepare.
Still, I jolt when I first catch a glimpse of myself. It’s really me! I half expected and hoped that it wouldn’t be, that this was all some sort of a mistake, that I’m just having a long nightmare.
No such luck!
I’m in my favorite jeans and leather jacket, and all the blood has been cleaned up. I look like I’m asleep and that I’ll be waking up at any minute.
Turning around with emotion, I catch sight of my parents front-on for the first time since I got here. I’m overwhelmed by what I see! I expected mom to be crying, but not dad. Yet, he’s wailing up a storm.
Who knew that my old man really cared about me? He sure didn’t act like it while I was alive.
I decide to sit with them on their lonely pew. The eulogies start. All five of my friends stumble up to the podium at the same time and start taking turns telling about what a fun guy I was. They’re cracking jokes and pretty loosy goosy. It occurs to me that they’re pretty drunk.
These guys are totally smashed at my funeral! They can barely stand up.
They start hating on Lucette announcing that it’s all her fault I’m dead. They assert that I was so good and loving to her, and she ran off breaking my heart because she’s a totally spoiled brat.
No, I wasn’t awesome to her, pops into my head. And she’s not spoiled—at least not anymore.
My friends keep ragging on her, and I want to yell at them to stop. She doesn’t deserve all the cruel and vicious things they’re saying about her. After they finish their character assassination, they put a bottle of my favorite beer beside my dead body in the casket.
“Drink up for the last time, best buddy,” they murmur in unison.
I start cracking up so hard with laughter that tears s
pring out of my eyes. As if I can actually drink it! Then I realize something big—something I had never seen before. My drunken friends thought they were doing me a favor by buying me alcohol, but all it did was make matters worse. Just like my dad is a mean drunk so am I. Most of the times I had beat on Lucette I was really drunk.
“Get that crap out of my casket!” I snap at them but of course they can’t hear me.
My dad stumbles up to the podium next. Like my friends, he’s also had too much to drink. He’s wailing like I’ve never seen him do before.
“My son is dead!!!” he bellows with a slur, the walls of the funeral home reverberate with his anguished cries. Finally, he manages to get a hold of himself. “Justin was my only son,” he warbles, his words barely decipherable. “There were problems in my family like in all families, but basically we were a very loving family.”
What?! Really, Dad. Get real.
“I loved him even though I didn’t demonstrate it,” my father continues. “It’s bad for a guy to be all mushy.”
I groan, a pain in my chest. I really needed your love, Dad—mushy love. Tears spring to my eyes. The kind that warms you and calms the beast inside.
“Some people might question my parenting skills,” he declares, “but you can’t argue with success. I was hard on him to make him into a man and that’s what he grew into—a fine man.”
My friends yell out yelps of agreement.
“I wasn’t a fine man,” I yell back. “You’re all lying about me! I was a drunken jerk!” Of course, no one in the room can hear me.
“He certainly had the greatest of friends,” my father asserts.
More yelps fill the air.
True friends wouldn’t have kept me drunk all the time. They would’ve wanted the best for me instead of keeping me in my delusions. These drunken guys would actually cheer me on when I would tell them about the aggressive things I’d do to Lucette.
“His one huge flaw was falling in love with that skank Lucette!” my father retorts. Then he continues a litany of hate towards her. I have to put my hands over my ears at all the animosity spewing out of him. Poor Lucette—taking the blame for the ugly fury-confusion of nearly everyone in this room.
My father finishes with a hideous statement. “I hope that slut gets her comeuppance and someone beats the crap out of her until she cries for mercy and then drops dead!”
Whoops and yelps roar from my so called friends.
I shake my head with disgust.
My father almost collapses as he makes it back to the pew. My mom slowly moves herself to the podium, weeping into a tissue all the way. She’s the only one in the room, except for me, not drunk.
She takes her face out of the tissue and pronounces, “I love my son.”
I stare at her with horror. I had been so concentrated at my father’s strange behavior that I hadn’t really looked at her. She’s got a black eye and deep purple bruises all over her skin. I hate to see what the ones not visible look like!
A realization dawns on me and chokes me. Dad had taken out my death on her!
“I’ll love him for all eternity,” she continues, sobs trying to take over her voice. “His passing can’t change that.”
“Get back here!” demands my father, fury and disgust in his voice. “You’re embarrassing yourself.”
“But I need to tell him how much I love him,” sobs my mom.
“He can’t hear you, you idiot!” my father snaps.
“Oh yes I can,” I shout back.
“My love for him will never ever burn out,” my mom asserts. “Justin is—”
My father shoots up with ferociousness. “I already told you to get back here!” His tight fist is in the air. “You’d better do as I say.”
My mom eyes the fist with terror and returns to the pew sobbing into her tissues all the way.
Meanwhile, I feel sick to my stomach at what had happened to her—and all because of me. Because of my death. She was beaten to a pulp, and she couldn’t even say what she wanted to say at her only son’s funeral.
My heart is shattering.
Chapter 51
Lucette:
Alfredo calls to ask if it’s okay for him to visit. Do I need any more space? I tell him to come on over.
He arrives at my home with an anxious face. Once I smile at him, his face eases itself and he grins back at me. In the privacy of my room, he puts his hand on mine. “How are you, Araceli?”
“Lucette,” I correct him.
He smiles and nods. “How are you, Lucette?”
“Better,” I say, putting my other hand on top of his which is still on top of my left one, squeezing it. “We haven’t had the pending talk yet.”
“No,” he murmurs, smiling.
“I’m glad we’re finally doing it.”
He nods. “I really want to talk to you about the letter you wrote me.”
“I meant every word of it, Alfredo.”
“It was a beautiful note. You can’t imagine how much it touched me—it got to me.”
I grin. “Did it? Do you forgive me for having been such a jerk to you?”
“Ara—I mean Lucette, of course I forgive you. How can I not when I’ve seen what you’ve gone through?”
“Thanks, Alfredo,” I murmur, tears in my eyes.
“Still, I just want to make sure you’re ready for a relationship. We can just be friends if you want until you’re ready.”
I let out a deep breath. “I can’t live in my past anymore, Alfredo. I’m not going to let Justin haunt me anymore like he was doing when he was alive. Now he’s dead and it’s time to let him go. It’s time to trust my feelings and others. I trust you, Alfredo. You’re a good guy and I’m a girl who can fend for herself.”
Alfredo kissed me then—a gentle, toe curling kiss.
Justin:
I’m pretty shaken up with the life review and the funeral. Then I go to Lucette’s place to find her with the Alfredo guy!
I’m really freaking out!
My first instinct is to be blindingly furious but then I think of what I felt-experienced about Lucette when my life flashed before my eyes, and my resentment starts dissipating a little. Then I think about my jerk father and my mom’s black eye and purple bruises at my funeral, and my rage with my wife is completely abated. I start paying attention to what Lucette and the Alfredo guy are saying.
All I can say is that Lucette has really changed. She’s talking about having a healthy relationship with the guy. Healthy meaning no verbal or physical violence. I start remembering when she had talked to her parents a few days ago. I, being who I’ve always been, freaked out at what they had said about me having been dangerous. But now I want to concentrate on the rest of the conversation they had had. Lucette surprised me when she actually stood up for herself.
Lucette had actually called them on being snobs! Wow! Lucette isn’t the spoiled rich girl I first met at school. She’s like a fighter for herself now.
I can really appreciate that.
Lucette kisses the Alfredo guy. I admit I want to rush in between them and try to stop it, but at the same time I want to tell her, “Good for you, Lucette, for not letting me haunt you anymore.”
She’s tough Lucette now.
I really like that.
Chapter 52
Lucette:
The Dynamic Trio had been giving me my space. They squealed with joy when I called each one and told them to please come to my home. We have a heart to heart when we meet in the living room. The Sanchezes are not home since they are visiting friends.
“How do you feel?” Danila questions, worried.
“I’m okay,” I assure.
“Are you really?” asks Emily. “We’re your friends, so you can tell us the truth.”
Anelina nods vigorously. “We’ll always be there for you.”
I smile. “Please don’t worry about me. I’m doing fine, honest.”
“That’s such a relief,” gushes Danila.
Anelina nods. “And we’re so glad you’ll be here for graduation.”
“Yeah, awesome,” Emily bursts.
We go on to talk about my life. The Dynamic Trio is shooting questions at me from all angles. They’re fascinated with my former life and gasp at amazement at how I had escaped from Justin both times.
At a certain point I have to put an end at the conversation for the time being. I’m proud to say that I made good use of Mrs. Sanchez’s cooking lessons and had made fried chicken Mexican style with hot sauce in the bread crumbs for my friends. Alfredo joins us at everyone’s request. Danila, Anelina, and Emily gorge themselves saying the meal is great. Alfredo eats a lot too but keeps stopping to smile at me between bites. We’re really smitten with one another.
All in all it’s an awesome day.
That night I go to sleep with a full heart even though the shadow of the tragedy I had lived is still close on hand.
Justin:
I finally convince Henry to show me some more ghost tricks. As soon as he teaches me, he cackles with giddiness thinking that I’m going to use his get-into-dreams magic for revenge.
He tells me that he gets into his former wife’s dreams all the time to haunt her. “She’s never been able to have a long lasting relationship with another guy!” he bursts, snickering wildly. “You should do the same with Lucette and ruin her life now that she’s ruined yours with your death. Revenge, buddy, that’s where it’s at!”
I shake my head.
I admit that payback was my main goal not too long ago, but something’s happened to me. Revenge is the last thing on my mind. I mean, who am I going to get vengeance from? Myself? I’ve come to realize that I can’t be blaming others for the crap that I do. I really wish I had realized this when I was alive.
Maybe I would’ve had a shot at true happiness if I had stopped being so intense all the time in my obsessions. If I would’ve put an end to trying to numb those insecurities with alcohol.
“Why are you shaking your head?” Henry bursts furiously.
I ask him if an angel made him have a life review.
He nods heatedly. “Yeah, I was made to go through one of those too, but I outsmarted it!”
“What do you mean?”