“David,” she said shakily. “What are you doing here? I didn’t expect you back.” Her eyes went dark with sudden fright. “Is it Daphne? Has she been hurt?”
“No, Shamrock, Daphne’s fine.” David hung his hat on the wall hook and joined her at the table, taking a seat across from her. “I have to talk to you, and I figured it would be better if Daphne wasn’t around to overhear.”
“Oh.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I made fresh coffee a bit ago, just the way you like it.”
David watched as she fussed at the stove, taking down a dainty cup and saucer, grabbing a towel to lift the pot and pour. As she moved back to the table, careful not to spill the hot brew, she asked, “Would you like a piece of chocolate to go with it?”
“No, thanks. Coffee suits me fine.” As David added two chunks of sugar to his cup and gave a brisk stir, Brianna resumed her seat. He searched his mind, trying to think how to best start this conversation. Glancing up at her, he said, “You’ve been crying.”
She wiped at her cheeks with shaky fingers. “Yes, well, a bunch of foolishness, that. I didn’t think anyone would catch me at it.”
David leaned back on his chair. “I don’t often see my feisty Shamrock cry. I’m sorry Daphne hurt your feelings this afternoon. She’s young. She just doesn’t think.”
Brianna turned her cup, gazing solemnly into the dark liquid. “It’s a good thing that she wants to be with you. I’ll adjust to it over time and try to be more encouraging. I was—well, I’ve done some soul searching, and I was thinking of only myself. The best thing for Daphne is to have strong bonds with her father and his family.”
“That would be true if I were actually her father.”
Her slender hand jerked on the cup and slopped coffee. Her green eyes flashed to his. All the color drained from her face. Even her lips, usually a shimmery pink, went as white as the cabinet doors behind her. “You—you know.”
“I should have known all along. You told me the truth that day by the stream, but I didn’t want to hear it.” David hauled in a tight breath. “It took the Pinkerton Agency and a background check to convince me you weren’t lying. I can’t begin to tell you how very sorry I am, Brianna, not only because I refused to believe you, but about your sister and everything you’ve been through. In my own defense, even now that I know Daphne isn’t my daughter, I look at her and find it hard to believe. The family resemblance is amazing.”
* * *
Brianna felt as if she’d been slugged in the solar plexus. The inevitable had finally happened. David knew everything. The ache of regret in his eyes brought more tears to her own, but she quickly blinked them away so he wouldn’t see. “So,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady, “this is it, then.” She pushed up from her chair. “Don’t look so worried, David. I have no intention of making it difficult for you. We’ve never consummated the marriage, and both of us know the ceremony in Glory Ridge was a sham and most likely illegal.”
She went to the sink with her dishes. The cup rattled on the saucer, a telltale sign of how badly she was trembling. Still, it was easier to get everything said when she wasn’t looking at him. That dear face, every line of which had been engraved on her heart. Those eyes, always so compelling, now filled with regret. “Getting an annulment will be as simple as one, two, three,” she said brightly. “It will be especially easy if we apply for the dissolution together.” She turned off the water and clutched the edge of the sink. “I have only one favor to ask of you, David.”
“What’s that?” His voice sounded oddly thick and gravelly.
“Will you go with me to take care of the annulment in Denver? After it’s done, I’ll remain there with Daphne until the process is finalized just in case any wrinkles crop up. That way, Daphne will be far removed from No Name when word gets out, and none of the children here will tease her.”
Not allowing herself to look at him, Brianna turned toward her bedroom. She knew one glance into his deep blue eyes would be her undoing. She couldn’t allow herself to cling to a man who’d never really been her husband, or to a relationship that had been built on pretense. From the first, she had done everything possible to protect David, to make sure he wouldn’t be legally shackled to her after he found out the truth. She refused to tie him to her now with tears and blubbering.
The trick was to be matter-of-fact and businesslike, allowing no trace of feeling to enter her voice. She didn’t want him to suffer even a twinge of guilt or to have any second thoughts. He’d always dealt with her fairly and honestly, and she would grant him the same courtesy, no matter how much it hurt.
David stared after Brianna as she went into their bedroom. Tonight she wore the brown silk, one of his favorites on her, and she was so damned beautiful she made his heart hurt. He heard the swish of her skirts, the light pad of her footsteps as she moved about. A golden glow illuminated the other room, telling him she’d lighted the lamp. He caught the faint hiss of the wick as she turned it up. Nausea rolled through him. He could have sworn a full-size baseball was lodged at the base of his throat. Unless he could think of some way to stop her, she was going to leave him.
When he could stand it no longer, he rose and followed her. She had pillowcases on the bed and clothing piled at the foot. “Shamrock, what the hell are you doing?”
Keeping her face averted so he couldn’t read her expression, she replied, “I’m getting ready to leave, David. The sooner, the better, don’t you think? It will be easier for Daphne if we make the break quick and clean.”
“But what about the dress shop? We have a contract. You’re supposed to buy it from me. What the hell am I going to do with this place if you leave?”
David winced as soon as he spoke. To hell with the dress shop. Why had he even mentioned that when his legs had gone watery at the thought of losing her?
“I’m sorry to leave you in a mess.” Her body rigid with tension, she began folding garments and stuffing them into a bag. “But there’s no way around it. Even you must see that my staying here is impossible now. It would be even worse for Daphne, a nightmare. The children would taunt her constantly. Maybe some other woman in town would like to buy the shop—or possibly rent it. I know you paid cash, a sizable sum, and would have made some profit on the interest I insisted on paying.” She glanced around at the wallpaper and frilly curtain at the window. “It was such a great opportunity that you offered me, a dream come true, but there is no way I can make it work now.”
David didn’t give a tinker’s damn about the money, but he couldn’t think what to say. The only word that rushed past his lips was a strangled, “Don’t.”
Brianna sent him a bewildered look.
“Don’t,” he said again. “The Pinkerton report hasn’t changed my feelings one whit. So far as I’m concerned, nothing is different. Daphne is still my daughter, and you are still my wife.”
She searched his gaze for a moment, her green eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I know how much you’ve come to love Daphne, David, but your feelings for the child aren’t enough for us to make a marriage work.”
David stepped closer, determined to push out the words he needed to say. If she rejected him, his pride would take a beating, and so would his heart, but it was a chance he had to take. “From the start, my whole focus was about doing what was right,” he said. “I freely admit that. But somewhere along the way, I not only fell in love with Daphne; I also lost my heart to you. I’m in love with you, Brianna. Can’t you see that? This isn’t about honor and obligation anymore. If you leave me, I don’t know what I’ll do. I love you. Not because it’s convenient, not because it’s best for Daphne. I’m head over heels in love with you, you and only you.”
Brianna heard the passion in his voice and turned to stare at him. The pain she saw in his blue eyes nearly took her to her knees. She pressed her palms against her waist. “You mean that. I mean, you really, really mean it.”
“Well, of course I mean it. I wouldn’t say it othe
rwise. I don’t know exactly when it happened, Shamrock.” He raked a hand through his hair and released a quivery breath. “I wish I could say pretty words, something romantic about that first instant when I realized. But you sort of came on like influenza, a symptom here, and another symptom there, until I realized I was a goner.”
“Influenza?” It was so like David to say something that caught her off guard. Choked with emotion, she gave a startled laugh that escaped through her nose. She fished in her skirt pocket for her handkerchief and dabbed at her upper lip. “Well, that was romantic.” She blew her nose and wiped again. “Pray God you caught none of the spray.”
David’s gaze clung to hers. “Like I care? For once, Shamrock, can you forget about being a lady and just—oh, hell, I don’t know—just be you. Because I have to tell you, it’s not the proper lady I’m in love with. I’m in love with my Shamrock, who has a fiery temper, a mean right hook, and a tongue as sharp as a razor. I’m crazy in love with you, Brianna O’Keefe. No more lies, no more pretending. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“But what about Hazel Wright?”
He rolled his eyes. “I was never in love with Hazel. When I considered marrying her, I knew deep down that I was settling for second best. Thank God that bundle of letters came to save my stupid ass, because I would have been miserable shackled to her. She’s got a nasty streak, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Are you certain?” Brianna’s chest felt as if it might burst. “I don’t want to ruin all your plans and steer you completely off course. You have a right to the future that calls to you, a right to marry the woman of your choice.”
“You call to me, and if you really want to honor my choice, stop questioning me and come here.”
Brianna wasn’t sure who moved first, but the next instant she was in his arms. “Oh, God, David, I love you, too. I tried so hard not to. I never dreamed you might return my feelings.”
“How could I not? And I’m damned glad to hear you’ve got feelings for me because I wasn’t sure if you did. And if you didn’t—well, I don’t know what I’d do.”
He trailed light kisses over her forehead, tightened his arms around her, buried his face in her hair, and began to sway, holding her fast against him. His heat, his strength, the hardness of him against her—everything about the embrace felt absolutely right.
“All this time, I’ve wished for this, hoped for it, but, oh, David, I never thought it might happen. I knew you’d learn the truth eventually, so I held everything back. I didn’t want you to feel trapped in a loveless marriage.”
David laughed, the huffs of his breath stirring her hair. His warm, velvety lips moved to her ear, the gentle nips of his teeth making her knees go weak. “I don’t feel trapped, Shamrock. I’ll never feel trapped. I think I’m the luckiest man alive.”
Chapter Twenty-one
B
rianna surrendered, going pliable in his arms. When his mouth trailed to her throat, she let her head fall back to accommodate his lips, and the light touch of them against her skin made her nipples harden and ache. She wasn’t sure how to do this, and despite the intoxicating pleasure that pulsed through her body with every pull of his warm mouth, a little voice way at the back of her mind called out faint alerts. She could tell that David had immense experience with women by the way his hands left her waist and moved firmly up her back to expertly start undoing her buttons. When the dress was unfastened, he nudged at her shoulder with his chin to push the silk down her arm.
In the lantern light, his hair drifted near her face like a mist of burnished gold. He smelled of fresh air, sunlight, leather, cologne, horses, and man. She clutched at his shoulders, her fingers finding only iron-hard muscle through the pliant leather of his duster. When she kissed his jaw, her lips encountered firm, masculine skin and the prickle of evening whiskers. He was all masculine, certain of himself, a practiced seducer, and by contrast, she felt as if she were afloat on a lily pad in a storm, with waves crashing over her from all sides.
“David?” she whispered. This was happening so fast she couldn’t think. “I’ve never been with a man. I—um—it’s not that I wish for you to stop or anything. But can we—you know—go a bit slower?”
“Shit.”
The word erupted from him like a low, feral growl and made Brianna smile. Only David would utter that vile expletive while trying to seduce a lady.
His body snapped taut, and he moved slightly away. “Are you afraid, sweetheart? Because if you are, we don’t have to do this right now. We can talk.”
“About what?”
“About this. I mean—well, I doubt the nuns ever told you much about the birds and the bees, and even if they tried, what the hell do they know?”
Brianna buried her nose against his shirt and giggled. “Oh, David, I love you so.” He was the only man on earth who could make her laugh at a moment like this.
“Say that again,” he told her.
“I love you. And I’m not afraid.” The minute Brianna said it, she knew it was true. She’d feared many men, but she would never feel afraid of David. “And, um, talking about it sounds rather unpleasant. I’d prefer that you just show me.”
He tightened his arms around her again. “That I can do. But talking about it wouldn’t be unpleasant, Shamrock. If you aren’t sure how this goes, I don’t—”
“I have a general idea. I lived at Ricker’s place for six years. I saw farm animals mate.”
He stiffened again. “What kind of farm animals?”
“Pigs, chickens, goats, cattle, horses, and one time even dogs.”
“Well, hell.” She felt his shoulders slump, and the next thing she knew, he’d swept her up into his arms and was carrying her toward the bed. “We’ve definitely got to talk. Pigs? Jesus Herbert Christ. They squeal, carry on, and create a God-awful spectacle. Watching that would be enough to make anybody afraid of having sex.”
Brianna squealed herself when they landed full-length across the mattress, David somehow twisting as they fell to come out on top with his forearms braced to keep his weight off her.
“People don’t do it like pigs, or horses, or cows, or dogs,” he told her.
“They don’t?”
“No, damn it, they don’t.” His blue eyes swam in her vision. “No wonder you’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous.”
He reared back to search her gaze. His firm mouth tipped in a grin. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re a lousy liar?”
Brianna touched her fingertips to his jaw. “Okay, I’m a tiny bit nervous, but only because I’m not sure what to expect and I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Shamrock, you could never disappoint me.” He rolled to one side and gathered her into his arms. “Never in a million years.”
Brianna rested her head on his shoulder. Her hand lay at the center of his chest, and she could feel the steady thrum of his heart against her palm. When he spoke, she felt the vibration. “We need to back up a bit and start over. And before we discuss the birds and the bees, I’d like to go back in time to that night by the fire when I asked who the bastard was who made you so wary of men. You gave me a blanket answer, saying it was nearly every man you’d ever met, or something like that.”
Brianna sighed and closed her eyes. She’d never spoken to anyone about those days right after Moira’s death, but somehow, with David, the words unlocked within her, and talking about it was easier. She told him about Daphne’s infancy and how she had developed colic.
“She cried incessantly, and the owner of the tenement building kicked me out. I tried to find another room, but everyone took one look at my screaming baby and turned me away.”
David ran his hand into her hair. She loved the feeling of his hard, warm fingers against her scalp. “Ah, Shamrock, it must have been sheer hell. Why didn’t you just go back to the orphanage? I’m sure the sisters would have welcomed both of you with open arms.”
“Of course they would have.
” Brianna sighed. “The nuns loved Moira and me. I know they would have adored Daphne, too. But I promised Moira that I’d raise her baby as my own, and I feared that I would lose control over Daphne if I went back to the orphanage. I would have had to work somewhere else in order to earn enough money to cover her needs, and most jobs didn’t pay very much, so I would have needed two positions to support her. She would have seen me rarely. And she was so beautiful, David. You just can’t imagine how perfect she was. What if a couple had seen her and wanted to adopt her? I was terrified of that possibility because I wasn’t really her mother—the good sisters knew that, and I had no legal rights, plus I had little by way of money to recommend me as her guardian. Even the sisters, as much as they loved me, would have felt that their first responsibility was to the child. If a well-heeled couple had wanted Daphne, they might have decided that Daphne would be better off with them than with me.”
David’s arms tightened around her. “I didn’t think of that at all. Dumb question. Naturally you were afraid to go back there, even though it was your only safe haven. Damn, Shamrock, you must have been scared half out of your mind.”
“It was a frightening time. I knew Daphne would die if I didn’t find shelter for her, and sometimes when I felt utterly hopeless, I almost broke my promise to Moira and went back to the orphanage. It was winter in Boston, and she was so tiny. I remember walking the streets, trying to think what to do. I needed a job, but I had no one to look after my baby if I found one, and I couldn’t leave her alone.” She fiddled with one of his shirt buttons. “Do you believe that God reaches down sometimes in answer to our prayers?”
“I do. Sometimes I don’t get the answer I want, but then later, it turns out to be the best thing that ever could have happened.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “That day as I rode toward Glory Ridge, I prayed that Daphne wouldn’t be my child and I’d be free to head home the next morning, no strings attached. Then, the instant I saw her, I knew she was mine. Or at least I thought she was. There was no way I could ride away and leave her, and you were part of the package. That ended up being the most wonderful gift God has ever given me—meeting you, coming to love you. I’m more glad than I can say that he knew better than I did what was good for me.”