CHAPTER XX
DESPAIR
Thanks to the English who had interposed and had stopped the War, aTreaty of Peace had been signed between the Maharajah of Mysore and mymaster, the King of Golconda.
But, under an appearance of friendship, there still brooded a bitterenmity; and as a renewal of hostilities would have been the ruin of mymaster, who was less powerful than his enemy, a method was sought toconfirm and strengthen the Treaty.
The plan decided upon was terrible--terrible for _me_--and broughtabout the catastrophe which the Hermit had foretold; and as he hadpredicted, I was the maker of my own misfortunes....
Parvati all at once began to act strangely. A preoccupation which shedid not impart to me absorbed her constantly, and I was unable todecide whether she was happy, or sad. For hours at a time she wouldsit motionless, leaning back, gazing straight before her, her littlehands clenched on the arms of her rattan chair.
I thought I could perceive that she was restless and impatient--as ifexpecting something; but she, who usually confided to me every thought,now was silent and reserved.
One day I saw her in the great Avenue of Tamarind Trees lookingattentively at something which she held in the palm of her hand; shewould lift it and bring it near--then hold it off at a distance,looking at it with half-closed eyes. She ended by letting her arms fallat her side, and bowing her head.
I drew near and saw that her eyes were full of tears. At this I uttereda little plaintive cry, and knelt before her, trying to make herunderstand how it pained me to be ignorant of that which was grievingher.
She understood me, and patting me gently with her hand, she made merise.
"I am going to tell thee everything to-day, Iravata," said she. "If Ihave been silent till now it was because I dreaded to announce thingsthat might never come to pass; to speak of them seemed only to makethem more real, and to bring them nearer. I had hoped that all wouldfade away, like the clouds which sometimes gather in the sky, and seemto threaten a tempest, but which yet disappear without bringing astorm. But now all is settled."
I trembled with anxiety on hearing her speak so sadly; she had seatedherself on a bench of carved wood lacquered in red and gold, and shenow continued, looking at the thing she held hidden in her hand:
"I am a Princess," said she. "Till lately I had supposed that thismeant only that I was more powerful, more free, as well as richer thanother mortals. I have learned that this is not all. There are dutieswhich we owe to the people of whom we are the rulers, and our dutysometimes is to sacrifice our happiness to their welfare."
(The "happiness of the people!"--"sacrifice herself!" what was I aboutto hear?)
All at once she opened her hand and showed me a little picture setround with gold and diamonds:
"See this," said she, "it is a Prince--look well at it.... See thislarge, heavy face, this dark complexion, almost black under the whiteturban; see that thick mouth, and that bristling moustache, those longhalf-shut eyes, with such a sneering expression! It is not what onewould imagine the face of a young Prince to be--and yet," added she,"it is no doubt flattered!"
She raised the picture to the level of my right eye, and I shut theother in order to see better.
So far as an elephant can judge of a likeness, and above all afterthe description she had given, it seemed to me the face of a terriblebeing--an enemy; and I hardly glanced at the picture when I was seizedwith a hatred of the person it represented, although I did not yet knowhow much reason I had to detest him.
"This Prince is named Baladji-Rao," said Parvati. "He is the Son of theMaharajah of Mysore, who at the time of my birth was making an unjustwar upon my father, and who would have put him to a shameful death, hadyou not rescued him, my Iravata. Well! behold how strange is the fateof princes! This Baladji, whose father strove to make me an orphan--isto be my husband--they are about to marry me to him, in order tocement more strongly the Treaty which has been signed, and preserve thepeace of the two Kingdoms."
_Marry her_!
"The Prince has never seen me, and I am not acquainted with him; howcan there be anything like friendship between us? But it is not, alas!a question of friendship--but of politics. I must sacrifice myself tothe good of the State. To lament would be unworthy of my noble birth,and to appear sad would only distress my parents, who are delightedwith the alliance."
I was thunderstruck. For a few moments I remained mute; but I couldnot control myself and very soon began to stamp and utter screams ofdistress.
"No.... No! Iravata," cried she: "do not do so; thy cries seem onlyto echo my own despair--and I am not willing to give it expression! Ismother my grief in my heart, and force back my tears. I am resolvedto be a truly Royal maiden, worthy of the long line of ancestors whichform in history a brilliant chain, of which I am the last link. Butthey shall not separate thee from me.... That I will never allow!"
Not separate her from me when she was already so little with me! Ah!why could she not have remained a child, over whom I was permitted towatch?... To be together then was a pleasure for her, as much as forme! While now she was full of thoughts in which I had no part--taken upwith amusements in which I counted for nothing. When she was marriedshe would have a Court of her own, and a whole Palace to organize anddirect--and what would become of me?
I was ashamed at thinking only of myself, and forgetting her sorrows;but a new feeling which I could not control had been aroused and wasraging in me--a fury, and a savage hatred for the stranger who wasgoing to take my Princess away from me.
She forbade me to express my anguish, and it choked me. I had not,myself, any "royal" soul; I owed nothing to my "ancestors." I was onlya beast of the forest, taught by my association with men to think, andto suffer; when I suffered I had to cry out; and since my Princesswould not permit me to do so in her presence--I rushed away, and went,like a wounded animal, to lie and grieve on my bed in the stable!