Read MBA - Moron$ Ba$tard$ and A$$holes PG Version Page 49

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Can’t Get Enough

  “Look what I found in Earl’s office. He’s got cartons of this stuff in there.”

  “Ok, Mick, sit nice and still now so I don’t have to shoot you.”

  Thoughts of what Bruce Willis in his Die Hard persona would do began to form in my mind. When Dusty came around in front of me, she would pretty much block Rich’s ability to shoot me. I could then…

  Before I could fully form that thought, Dusty threw a large loop of tape over my head and shoulders. She pulled it tight around the back of the chair essentially pinning my arms to my sides. She then circled me several times trailing the tape until the chair was fused to my back. My only move now would be to stand up, somersault myself and the chair over the desk, knock the gun out of Rich’s hand, catch it in my teeth…ah, heck, forget it. I wouldn’t even buy that maneuver in a Jackie Chan movie.

  “That’s my girl.” Rich put the gun in his pocket and sat on the edge of the desk by Chuck.

  Dusty gave me a hard slap across my chops. “That’s for turning down the finest piece you would have ever gotten in three lifetimes. And for what? Some stupid librarian? It could have been great. No one would have ever known.”

  “I would have known, Dusty. And I don’t think you would have been all that great anyway.”

  She balled up her fist and started to swing. The Shareholder grabbed her arm and spared me a shiner.

  “Easy there, my spirited filly. He will get his just desserts soon. No reason for you to harm your pretty little hand.”

  Dusty calmed down, moved behind him and started massaging his shoulders.

  “Thanks, Daddy. You are right as usual. And you are so tense.”

  “It’s been a couple of tough days, darling. Let’s continue our business lesson. Mick, you see, X-400 has been a huge success. The coatings industry depends on it especially now that electronics have gotten smaller and much more sophisticated. Woodland has made a tidy profit from it. But business is like a shark. It has to keep moving forward or it dies. The market has only so much price elasticity. I’ll admit that you guys have done a good job at setting price increases in line with increasing costs. But that just maintains the status quo. I’m a greedy son of a gun like any top tier business giant. I always want more. That means decreasing costs. I sent Elwood down here to try to do that the traditional way. What happened? The moron blew up the plant. Totally unexpected, but it sure got me to thinking. If we could make this stuff overseas, we could save a bundle. You guys are expensive. You want competitive wages, health care, pensions and all that nonsense. Not to mention the cost of the stupid regulations in the good old US of A to ensure we don’t harm some silver throated songbird or put a few minor toxins in the groundwater. A few toxins never hurt me when I was growing up. What a nation of sissies we are. Ah heck, let me get off my soapbox and continue my lesson. Right after the explosion, I ordered Chuck to give me the X-400 formula under the guise of wanting to make limited batches until this plant could be rebuilt.”

  “And if he had, you would have never rebuilt.”

  “Sure we would have. Only it would have been in Dingdongdoogie China or somewhere similar.”

  “And put all the hard working people that built this place from nothing onto the street.”

  “Oh, boo hoo. I thought you had it in you to be a true businessman. Obviously not. You probably wouldn’t have been any better for Cindy that that Bojangles idiot she ran off with.”

  “I would have rather died than follow your twisted plans for me and Cindy.”

  “Hmmm. Funny you should say that, Mick. I may revise my plans for your future and mine.”

  “Huh?”

  “Let’s get back to the lesson, shall we? Chuck refused to give me the formula and told me he had a patent application pending for it in his name. He also told me there was enough undamaged inventory to bridge the gap until the reactor could be rebuilt. I didn’t make a big deal about it at the time, but I did let Chuck know if I let him refuse me this, he could never refuse me anything else and keep his job. Of course, I immediately sent my lawyers into shark mode and started plotting my plan of attack. It would take some time, but here is the way I mapped it out:

  I would wait for Dusty to achieve her MBA. That would take about eighteen months. Check.

  I would send her down to ‘review security’ around X-400. Her real mission would be to get the formula for me. Your unbelievably stupid hiring of that con man, Jack Squat, or whatever his name was, made this an easy sell. Plus old Chucky here was arrogant enough to think that his formula security was rock solid. And he was almost right. Almost. Check mark number two.

  I would build reactors in our existing plant in Asia to make X-400. How? After the explosion, I told Chuck that I needed the blueprints for the X-400 reactor here to give to the EPA. Totally untrue, but he could hardly refuse. By the way, I also told him I needed a schematic of your computer network for a technical review. Again, a masterful lie. Like taking candy from a baby. The reactors are now built. Check.

  Dusty would secure the formula. Almost check.

  The Woodland plant would blow up again. This time it would be a much bigger explosion. It would wipe out the existing inventory and ensure the demise of the plant. No one would ever let us or anyone else build such a dangerous operation in the good old USA again. I’d get one hundred percent recovery of my investment from the insurance company and laugh all the way to the bank.

  After a minor delay, the overseas plant would come online and supply X-400 to the world market at a higher price. Cha ching. I had Elwood run the numbers. With much lower costs, we could make an extra ten million a year, minimum.”

  “What? You are going to all this trouble for a measly ten million a year?”

  “Hey, ten million here, ten million there, it all adds up. Besides, I was getting kind of bored and needed a new challenge.”

  “You are truly an evil monster.”

  “No, just a good businessman.”

  “Let me guess. You have an MBA.”

  “Yes I do. But I don’t see what that has to with anything.”

  “So you think drugging Chuck will get you the last part of the formula?”

  “No. But the threat of sending Chuck’s wife pictures of him having carnal relations with my daughter should do the trick.”

  “He would never do such a thing. Chuck is an extremely loyal family man.”

  Rich pulled a digital camera out of his pocket. “And I’m an extremely good photographer. A little bit of Photo Shopping and Chuck will look like he is ready to rock instead of being passed out from the mild sedative Dusty sprayed him with.

  “How do you know he will give you the right formula?”

  “Oh, c’mon Mick, would Chuck lie to me? Of course he would. So we have a small pilot X-400 run ready to go in Asia once I send them the last missing piece of the formula. At first, my plan was to threaten to mail the pictures if the run bombed. But now I have a much better plan. And it is all thanks to an idea you gave me a few minutes ago.”