Chapter Seven:
The Beach
Eventually, Alphonse’s heated discussion with Tom and Dick died down, and they started to become aware of their surroundings again. They looked down the table to the place where Dora and her family were sitting with Adrienne, and they smiled very placatingly.
“Sorry, dear,” Alphonse said to Dora. “I hope I didn’t miss anything?”
“Nothing at all,” Dora replied with a faint smile.
Everyone decided, at that point, that they were very tired, and that they should make their way up to bed. Alphonse poured himself another drink, kissed Dora’s cheek, and said he’d see her shortly. Then he started up the staircase with Tom and Dick, talking very loudly again.
Dora hugged her brother, and kissed her mother and father goodnight. But she didn’t look at Adrienne. She just led the others up the staircase, while Adrienne stood down in the dining room, watching Dora’s bare calves disappear into the ceiling.
Adrienne had seen her room already. She’d gone up to dress for dinner. But now, she thought about the big, empty room, and she thought about lying down in the big, empty bed.
Usually, the idea would have been a tantalizing one. She was sick to death of sleeping next to Frederick. He wasn’t a bad man – but she wished more than anything that she could have slept alone. It was like having a big log next to you in bed: a wet, mossy log that you didn’t have any particular feelings about, and really, it would have been much nicer if it hadn’t been there. But, then again, the log had very good intentions, and it made you feel a little poorly to be so indifferent about it.
But that’s just the way it was.
She knew that she couldn’t go back up to that room, so she just sat down at the table, and stared at the wall. Every now and then, she looked at the clock. It seemed to be moving very slowly.
Once, she accidentally glanced at the painting of the fox and the crows. It made her even more anxious now than it had earlier. It was as if the fox were caught forever in purgatory – forced to watch the crows draw near to him, fearing pain and torment every moment, but never granted the gift of oblivion that death would bring.
She wished she could toss a sheet over the painting – or, even better, that she could go out and throw it into the bay.
Eventually, she got tired of sitting, and she went to the doors of the sitting room that opened onto the terrace. She looked out of them for a while, watching the rolling of the ocean, and wondering what exactly she was doing there.
She hadn’t seen her brother in almost two decades. She didn’t even know him anymore. She wondered if she ever really had. When you’re that young, after all – is it possible to truly know someone?
She pushed open one of the doors to the terrace, and stepped out into the gusty breeze, her hair whipping back over her head. She looked up at the moon, and sighed. She was seriously beginning to consider running away. They wouldn’t know she’d gone until the morning – and by then, they’d be so busy getting ready for the wedding, it wouldn’t matter much.
She was still pondering the moon, and still contemplating escape, when she suddenly realized that someone was standing behind her. She turned around in surprise, and found herself looking at Dora Wakefield.
She had changed out of her dinner dress, and was wearing a T-shirt and a pair of jogger pants. Her feet were bare. Her hair was thrown up into a messy ponytail, and she’d washed off her makeup.
The sight of her took Adrienne’s breath away.
“Hi,” she said, coming to lean against the rail beside Adrienne, who had made an effort to look back out at the bay. But she felt Dora’s eyes on the side of her face, and her cheeks were burning.
“I had a feeling you didn’t come upstairs,” Dora said. “Not feeling sleepy?”
“Not really,” Adrienne answered in a strained voice.
“Me neither.”
Dora sighed, and folded her elbows against the rail, leaning a little closer to Adrienne. “We didn’t get to talk much today,” she said. “I was disappointed.”
“Ah, well,” Adrienne said simply, trying to master her shaking voice. “After tomorrow, we probably won’t see each other again for years. Best not to get to know each other too well, probably.”
“Do you think so?” Dora asked in a thoughtful tone, scrutinizing the moonlit bay with her dark eyes.
“I do,” Adrienne said firmly, moving away from Dora.
“Where are you going?” Dora asked quickly. She seemed to be afraid that Adrienne would leave.
“I should go to bed,” Adrienne replied. “And so should you. Tomorrow’s a big day for you.” She paused for a beat, before she added: “Probably the biggest day of your life.”
She waited a moment, wondering whether Dora would say something about Alphonse, or her feelings for him; but she didn’t. She just looked back out at the bay, and said, “Of course I can’t keep you from going. And you’re right – we should both go to bed.”
But then she looked back at Adrienne, and smiled softly. Her face was bathed in soft white moonlight.
“I really wish you’d go for a walk with me,” she said.
Adrienne forgot herself for a moment, and asked, “Where?”
She regretted it instantly. But, at the same time – she was glad she’d said it.
“On the beach,” Dora answered. She moved down the terrace, and unlatched a narrow gate in the iron fencing. She held it open, and stood aside for Adrienne, smiling brightly.
Adrienne felt a little silly, walking out onto the beach in her dress. It was a dark green dress, almost the same color as her eyes, sleeveless, and made of silk. It flowed down to her ankles, and swished around them with every step.
Without hesitating, she kicked off her shoes, and stepped through the gate. Dora followed her, and shut the gate behind them.
They meandered down to the shore, where the waves were lapping gently against the sand. Adrienne had never walked beside the ocean before. She looked out at it for a while, marveling at the sight of it, as it stretched beneath the moonlight towards places she’d never see.
But then she shook herself, and looked back at Dora. The sight of the ocean hadn’t caused any physical sensation in her – but looking at Dora set her stomach fluttering, and started a strange fire in the place where she thought her heart lay.
She cursed herself silently. She wished she’d gone to bed.
She tried to come up with an excuse for going back to the house. She thought and thought, as the seconds stacked up against each other – but suddenly she realized that she didn’t care.
“Tell me something about you,” she said to Dora.
Dora looked at her in surprise, but then smiled faintly in the moonlight. “I’m not sure what to say,” she returned.
“I don’t care what you say,” Adrienne told her. “I just want to talk with you.”
“Well, all right,” Dora said, scratching at the back of her neck with her thin white fingers. “You already know about my mama and daddy. You’ve met Benjamin.”
She looked at Adrienne with a more serious expression, and said, “I hope you won’t think badly of him. He doesn’t usually act like that. He’s just – he’s just a little mixed up right now.”
“He already explained it.”
“Oh,” Dora said, caught a little off guard. She rubbed at the back of her neck again. It was obvious she was wondering what her brother had said.
“He loves you very much,” Adrienne told her. “He’s just concerned about you.”
“Everyone’s always concerned about everyone,” Dora said, a little bitterly. But then she looked quickly at Adrienne, and added, “Of course I don’t mean anything by that. My brother’s the best brother in the world. And nobody has better parents than me. But it’s not as though we could all go on belonging to each other for the rest of our lives, so I –”
She paused for a long moment, looking back towards the lights that were burning in t
he upper floors of Alphonse’s villa. “No one can ever really say whether they made the right choice,” she said softly. “I don’t even know if there’s any such thing. But I just – well –”
She slapped the back of her neck, and gazed into the distance, where faint lights were shining.
“This is the private part of the beach,” she said. “It belongs to Alphonse. But there’s a fence down there, with the public beach on the other side. They have bars all down the top of the sand, and people swim all night long.” She paused, and laughed. “I’ve always been scared to swim at night,” she confessed. “It’d be even harder to see the sharks coming for you.”
She looked at Adrienne, but she didn’t smile. Her face was blank for a moment, but then her eyes grew wide, and her mouth fell open a little.
“You look beautiful in that dress,” she said quietly. “I hope you don’t ruin it in the sand.”
“I don’t really care,” Adrienne returned honestly. “One dress is the same as another.”
Dora seemed to think about it for a moment, before she finally smiled. “You’re right,” she said. “Dresses don’t matter much. But I’ve always liked to think that people do.”
She fell silent, and looked towards the lights on the public beach.
“And who matters to you, Dora?” Adrienne asked curiously, drawing a little nearer to the dark-haired woman.
She examined her for a moment, trying to decide which actress she most resembled. But she was surprised to find that she didn’t look like anyone she’d ever seen before.
She just looked like Dora Wakefield. More beautiful than Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief; sexier than Barbara Stanwyck in Double Indemnity; more innocent than little Natalie Wood in Miracle on 34th Street.
“I love my mama and daddy,” Dora replied. “I love Benjamin very much, though he gets angry at me for what he calls ‘bad decisions.’ And I love my sister Mamie.”
She hesitated for a long moment, before going on to say, “Mamie said she wouldn’t come to the wedding. Said she was too busy with her flower business. But I know it’s because she thinks I’m a fool.”
“Why’s that?” Adrienne asked seriously.
“She knows what kind of man Alphonse is. Wealthy, successful. He could have any woman he wanted. She said to me, ‘Dora, what the hell do you think he wants you for? It’s just some weird phase men go through. He’ll get tired of you – and mark my words, you won’t get half of his ten-dollar lottery ticket.’”
Dora was quiet for a moment. It was plain that she was thinking furiously.
“Alphonse is a good man,” she said finally. “I think he’s better than Mamie says. But then – does anybody ever really know anyone?”
She looked desperately at Adrienne, and flew towards her, clutching her arm as they walked along down the beach.
“Do you think one person can ever really know somebody else?” she asked earnestly, gazing into Adrienne’s eyes.
Adrienne stopped walking, and looked back at her. “I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “I’d like to think that it’s possible. But then – I’d like to think that a lot of things are possible.”
Dora stared at her for a moment, but then pressed her arm gratefully. Then they started walking again.
“You said something earlier about interior design,” Adrienne said, pressing her shoulder to Dora’s. “You said you have your own business?”
Dora shrugged. “It was just a lot of nonsense, before Alphonse invested in it. I built my own website with one of those free platforms, and uploaded photos of rooms I’d decorated. I had a few clients – but that was nothing, until Alphonse put his name to it. He got me the publicity, and before I knew it, I was going to three houses a day. And they were paying me a hell of a lot more than they had before.”
She sighed mournfully, and looked up at the bright moon. “I’m grateful to him,” she said. “But then – I suppose if I married him, I wouldn’t have to work at all. I could just give the whole thing up, and it wouldn’t make a lick of difference.”
“If you married him,” Adrienne said slowly. “Don’t you mean – when you marry him? It’s tomorrow, after all.”
“Oh – of course,” Dora said, laughing nervously. “I hope you didn’t misunderstand me. He’s been very good to me. He’s been good to Mama and Daddy – and to Benjamin, too. Did you know Ben’s in law school now?”
When she asked this question, she looked so heartbreakingly proud, Adrienne couldn’t even think of saying anything other than, “Yes. He told me.”
Dora beamed brightly, and said. “Yes – yes, I know he’s going to be great. We always knew it, we just didn’t have the money to send him anywhere. But Alphonse –”
She stopped, her face painted with an expression of grief. Adrienne wished she knew what she was thinking.
“Alphonse is a good man,” she said finally. She cleared her throat, and looked away from Adrienne. “Your brother’s a good man,” she said, nodding fervently.
Adrienne wondered which of them she was trying to convince.
But suddenly, Dora looked up, and her face brightened like a lit-off firecracker. “We’re getting close to the public beach,” she said. She looked at Adrienne, and grinned. “Do you want a drink?” she asked.
“I could always use a drink,” Adrienne returned, following Dora up to the high wooden fence. Dora pushed open the gate, and said, “There’s no lock. But Alphonse doesn’t care all that much. Sometimes teenagers run screaming along the beach out behind the house, in the middle of the night – but he just laughs, and goes back to bed.”
She held the gate open for Adrienne, smiling in a strange way. Adrienne watched her face for a moment, almost afraid to go too close to her. But she had to go pretty close, to get through the gate – the front of her dress brushed up against Dora’s T-shirt – and she clenched her teeth tightly.
They stepped through the gate together, and sauntered out onto the public beach, gazing up at the lights that burned over the little wooden bars. Many of them were Tiki torches, and their flames flickered ominously against the black night behind them.
But nobody on the beach seemed very frightened. They ran this way and that, screaming loudly, stealing pieces of each other’s clothing, and running off into the black ocean.
“Gosh,” Dora said with a shiver. “I hate to think of the sharks.”
Adrienne moved up close to her, and took her hand. “Pretend there aren’t any,” she said. “Pretend there’s just the water. God made the water – didn’t He? Pretend He didn’t make the sharks. Just imagine a place to swim, and to sail, and to fish, where no one ever bothers you. That might make you feel better.”
Dora looked at her wonderingly. She stopped in her tracks, and looked seriously into Adrienne’s face. She was leaning a little closer – close enough to make Adrienne’s breathing difficult – when suddenly one of the barmen behind them started shouting about his Special of the Night.
“Long Island Iced Teas!” he cried. “Tasty and cold! Just as good here as in New York! Midnight special – one dollar apiece! Come and get ‘em before I run out of liquor!”
Dora looked at Adrienne, and grinned. “Ever had a Long Island Iced Tea?” she asked.
“Probably more than I should have,” Adrienne returned with a smile.
“Ah, well. How about another?”
Adrienne looked carefully into her eyes. She realized, then, that she had somehow come to be holding her hand again.
“Sure,” she murmured.
They walked slowly up to the little wooden bar, and greeted a man named Enrique, who had a parrot called Felipe.
“Two iced teas,” Dora announced, squeezing Adrienne’s fingers.
Enrique – a medium-sized bald man with a cancerous-looking tan and a tie-dyed tank top – took a couple of enormous glasses, and filled them with a variety of liquids. Then he pushed them across the counter, and grinned at his customers.
“Hold on,?
?? Dora said. “I always keep a few dollars in the pocket of my sweatpants.”
“You’re not the only one,” Adrienne said, reaching down into her strapless bra, and coming up with a wad of fives.
Dora watched her with a strange expression – a hungry expression, Adrienne thought. But that may have just been what she wanted to think.
“No, no!” Enrique shouted. “I don’t want your evil money! All money is evil tonight – and all drinks are free!”
Apparently, he’d already forgotten that he said the drinks were supposed to be a dollar each. He was drinking pretty heavily himself, and he was even giving liquor to the parrot.
Adrienne frowned, and peered into the candlelit dimness of the bar. There was a little monkey – a real live monkey – dancing on the counter, and a bag of marijuana on a shelf behind the liquor.
Suddenly, the parrot made a sound that was an awful lot like a burp; and he fell off his perch.
Adrienne shrugged, took her drink, and threw a five down on the counter. Then she took Dora’s hand, and they walked off into the clamor on the beach.